anonymous asked:

Steph, I need your help. I have a crush on Ben. I know it's just a public image and all - but I can't get him out of my head. I'm suffering, I don't even want to look at other people in a romantic way. It would be normal if I was a teen, but I am in my 20s and this situation makes me depressed. I don't want to live in a reality where I am nothing compared to someone I'm in love with. I'm probably not the first girl among the fans with this problem, but I feel so lost. Maybe you have some advice?

Hey Nonny! <3

Ah, I feel ya, Lovely. Ben is that unachievable goal that we’ll never reach, it seems. I really get you on this, though I think he pleases me aesthetically and he seems like a genuinely nice person that I want to be friends with, hah hah. Maybe have a snuggle or two with.

But unfortunately reality is a cruel jerk and I am not friends with him, nor will I ever get my snuggle, and will probably never meet him – it’s sad to think about since meeting him would make my entire life, but it’s just something of a logical realistic thing I had to come to terms with. 

Honestly I don’t know how to help you get over your Ben-addiction; still suffering it myself, LOL. If it makes you feel any better Nonny, I have pics of Ben up on my wall at home and at work, because seeing his face makes me happy; I am in my mid-thirties. Do people make fun of me for it? Hell yeah, but Ben doesn’t make them happy, so I don’t care. And I know I am just a blip on his radar, and I’m okay with that. The fact that you know and admit you have a problem is the first step to healing. I guess the best advice I have for you is to try to get out and meet new people, spend some time with coworkers or friends, and step away from the Ben for a bit. Find out WHAT about Ben you like, the TRUE qualities about his character that attract you, and understand that those may be the qualities you might like in a potential partner. I’m not trying to be harsh, but your “love” for Ben is a superficial thing that will never be realistically reciprocated from him. Your “love” could actually be a manifestation of your own loneliness and desire to feel love in return… trust me on this one. Learning to love yourself, or at least find out why others like or love you, is a good way to start the healing process. And in turn, you can then offer genuine love and then see in other people what you saw in Ben.

For instance, I love his charming nature, his natural ability to be really funny, he’s dorky, and his need to ensure everyone is happy and respect for people is something to aspire to. Plus his work ethic and acting is astounding, and I find that, as someone who has a similar work ethic, very attractive. See? Nothing physical listed here (though I will be the first to admit that his ethereal beauty is SO lovely to me. His eyes, cheeks and smile. GUH), and in turn if / when I look for a partner, I now know some of the check boxes I can use. It’s not about looks, it’s about the character of the person for me. 

I’m very sorry you are suffering, Nonny. Please don’t be depressed because of a “fan phase”. It is just a phase, one that we all go through at some point in our lives and will eventually tide over once your heart realizes it needs to listen to the head for a change. If it does get really bad, though, Nonny, please do talk to someone. Sometimes hearing yourself say it out loud is enough to realize “what the hell am I doing?” and be able to carry on. Your heart is a very special thing, and one that someone who loves it in return deserves to see.

Re: The discussion on why the #BenedictCumberbatch tag sucks so much

As you might remember, I recently ranted about the Benedict tag and that there’s so much disgusting stuff on there at the moment. I’ve been tracking the tag ever since I started my Sherlock blog and to me it seems that it gets worse and worse. Only the day after my angry post, the beautiful Sarah here got quite annoyed over a pornographic photoshop of Benedict, which led to the idea that we should start an alternative tag for nice things about Benedict, so we don’t have to scroll past all the weird stuff that seems to be in people’s minds lately.

I’m sure it was mostly meant as a joke, but after thinking about it for a while, I decided that it’s not such a bad idea after all.

So I invented the #decentbatch tag.

I don’t know if enough people are interested in this to get it started - but I decided to give it a try.
What is important, though: This is not about spreading hate.

People can blog, tag, track, and enjoy whatever they like. I don’t care. I just don’t want to see or read it.
I always try to bear in mind that I’m posting about a living, breathing human being, somebody that actually exists, and that this requires some respect.
It’s got not so much to do with wheter or not I have a problem with pornographic content (I haven’t, and I don’t care if it’s about fictional characters - I don’t like it, but I can just scroll past it and pull it off with a shrug), but about showing some decency and, well, brain.
If you come to think about it and decide that you could still look that person in the eye after putting your sexual phantasies about him on the internet - fine for you.

Everyone else who don’t want that kind of stuff on their dash, but would instead like to enjoy beautiful pictures, lovely interviews, and other nice things, are hereby heartily invited to use and track the #decentbatch tag.

I also want to add a shortlist of things we don’t want to see on the #decentbatch tag:

  • “dirty secrets” and sexual phantasies about Benedict (or any living person at all)
  • pornographic pictures and photoshops
  • whining about whether Benedict has a girlfriend or not
  • paparazzi pictures
  • all kinds of stuff that can, in common sense, be considered as invasion of privacy (including Thriller!batch content and the like)

If I forgot something, feel free to complete the list.

If you like the idea, you can help spread the word!

Of course you can use the “normal” Benedict tag additionally, and you don’t need to agree with my arguements to use the tag - as long as you consider your posts fitting into the description, just feel free to add the #decentbatch tag to your stuff. If you like the idea but don’t usually post original pictures or whatnot, you can also help with linking / telling people who post lots of original content to use the tag if they like to.

That’s pretty much about that. Head out, have fun, and in case of doubt, the me is to blame. As always.

Hey, cumberbitches!

Have you read Benedict’s reaction to some critics about him?

Benedict Cumberbatch deals with his critics (at GQ men of the year awards last night)
“This is amazing, thank you. It makes up for a blog I accidentally read last night that described me as “horse-faced, arse-named, wooden and untalented.” I can dispute the last two because you have honoured me with this [Actor of The Year Award], but the first two? Yeah: I am horse-faced and arse-named, but there you go - it’s what I was born with.”

Are you angry? Are you sad because he thinks that of himself?
sherlocksscarfandjohnsjumper had a brilliant idea!
Benedict is going to be interviewed by Jonathan Ross this Saturday.
Ross’s twitter is here. We’re going to tweet him saying how much we love Benedict and we’re using this tag: #WeloveyouBenedict

Reblog if you’re going to do it to be sure we’re a lot of people!


I finally admitted my addiction to Benedict Cumberbatch to myself earlier and that when it hit me





Watching the Sherlock Special

Moriarty: Ughh, why don'you two just elope, for god’s sake?!
Me: haha he is so funny!
Me:…wait….what …Stop…WHAT. THE. FUCK!? wait……. Sherlocks mind said that ….OH MY GOOOD JOHNLOCK OH MY GOD!!!


after three years, i’ve decided to do the whole follow forever thing. any url that’s italicized is indication for a friend, a mutual, or a blog i just really like (or all three). 

 #-b: 4oh20, 89polaroids, 221bbakerstreetissherlocked, 1989album, 1989tour, a-barefoot-princess, abiander, afirstglancefeeling, afragilelittleflame, after-plaidshirtdays, allisons-y, allow-me-to-help-you-sire, almightay, always-a-donatello-fangirl, amandla, americandauntless, andthatlittleblackdress, anniecrestah, apolaroiidofus, areweoutofthewoods, avengersassemble-inmypants, avennger, averypotterwhovian, babywere-thenewromantics, badbloods, bae-tay, bailster316, battle-born, bellanesscullen, bemyoldselfagain, benaddicted-to-cumberbatch, bert-1111, bette–davis–eyes, blame1989, blurredfelines, boewing, boring-ghost, breakburnandends, browneyedtinydancer, butlovinghimwasred, buttonsoncoats

c-e: c0vxn, calvinharris, cantstopwontstopgroovin, candid-cacophony, captureitrememberit, carlislesdearfriendaro, chasingfortunes, colldasyou, colorsinautumn, confirmance, cuntgradulation, dyingtoseehowthisonends, dancinroundthekitchen, december13th1989, dennys, dirtycheatsoftheworld, drbennedict, eyesopen, ecooli, effietrinkety, elvishness, enchantedswift13, endinburningflamesorparadise, everfallingdark

f-h: fairy-swift, fallouchboy, falloutboy, fear13less, feariess, fearlesspeaknow, fellawiththehellagoodhair, fetusswift, filledwiththorns, five–beer–plan, fobswift, fortuneandfames, fourismywhore, f-o-u-r-s-t-r-i-n-g-s, fringie, fuck-sewingmachines, fuckyeahloldemort, gummypenises, gillettestadium, gonewasanytraces, haleymikk, haus-of-hiddleston, hcrondale, heart, heldyourpride, holyshetalia, houseoflecter

i-k: iamhalseymusic, iconfessbabe, icouldbuildcastles, ididntknowaboutbarnes, ifitstorture, ijustwanttohugdavidtennant, imparalyzedbyitt, impartiallife, in-memory-lane, i-ship-you-and-me-because-i, its-ah-me-stephanie, i-will-slap-you, just-tswift, jenedict, justh0ldstill, kata-chthonia, keepmegoingbaby, ketchuppee, kingdomlightsshine, kingloptr, kissesoncheekss, klaurice, krisaholic 

l-n: laughcentre, lightthefuze, likeanytruelove, l-knowplaces, loft89experience, longlivethegirlinthedress, longslive, lordemusic, losersteve, losinhimwasbluee, lost–in–tranzlation, madamelokiofasgard, madsmikkellsen, malikmyvagina, maergerys, mander-charmander, markruffalo, marvelgurl77, mattsmithissexy, maximoft, mipsyanddibbles, mixtapesandwintercoats, moriarty, mosaicbrokenhearts, mountainswemoved, mrsexhimself, my-lips-are-stained-red, myparentsmistakes, notalotgoingonathemoment, nesscullens, nevergooutofstyle, newfoundgrace

o-r: odinsnotwearingmakeup, ofbeinghonests, officialunitedstates, ohitssparkling, ohsoswiftly, oldfavoritesong, onehandfeel, only-onetreehill, onthe9thcloude, oohiremember, ourdifferentletters, outofthewoods, panic-at-the-dildos, panicatthedisco, panlight, paramore, perchu, propertyoftaylorswift, queenbitchpixie, riskanothergoodbye, roadtorvin, ronald-reagn

s-t: sadbeautifultragic, satan-sami, satans-blog-is-hella-rad, sassprincess, scarlettjohanson, sexyimpalaonbakerstreet, shakeitoffline, shakeitoffs, shedancedtoforget, smokeyblacknights22, sotallhandsomeashell, speaknowtaylor, storythatnevergottold, super-wholock-fangirl, superwholock-girl, svveeterthanfiction, sweettfiction, swiftandthecity, swiftatthedisco, swiftbeautifultragic, swiftmusicinmymind, swiftpick, swiftsclifford, takeawaythepains, talkstostrangers, tayloralisons, taylorsblood, taylorsswft, taylor-svift, taylorswiftandtwilight, taylorswiftismydiary, taylorswiftordie13, taylorswift, teaswift, thatwasasmalltown, theangelscity, thebeautifulkindofbutterflies, theblameisonme, the-foxesthatrun, thegalway-girl, thelokihastheimpala, thepenclick, the-polaroidofus, thestarsthatshined, thetowndrugdealer, thislifeissweeter, thosegeorgiastarstoshame, though-she-be-fierce, throughthedoorwithyou, thrownswiftly, tillyouuputtmeedownn, timetotimewarp, tittycroissantsyo, totallyswifted, trashqueensatan, tree-paine, tropicalastronautt, tr-ym-eller, tswiftontour, twentaystitches, twentyonepilots 

u-w: usedtobemadslove, urineluv, voguetaylor, villains-r-us, vvhims, wallflower-be-damned, wegotbillstopay, welcome-to1989, welcometonewyork-13, wentmad, wilclestdreams, wouldtheymakethisblogforyou

x-z: xloveswift, yelyahwilliams, youbelongwithmes, yourcoloursfades, yourcrazyauntbecky, yourpunxprincess, yourememberitalltoowell, youshouldvebeenhere, zackisontumblr, zaynftmichael, zephyrsue