Bear-King

anonymous asked:

is it me, or does Goetia's Buer sound like a good guy? or at least a true neutral at that, this descriptions make him look like a intellectual in philosophy, a tea aficionado and a skilled medic. so what if he is a polite daemon? MAYBE he lacks true morality but from what i can tell from this descriptions, he seems like at least a cultured (possibly) polite dude.

You know, there’s a lot of them that sound like they wouldn’t want to immediately rip your throat out. That’s why I was waiting to answer this one; I wanted to go through all 72 and pick out the Goetia Goodies (O) and the Goetia Goons (X). Let’s see, in order…

  1. BAEL: Hoarse voice, spider legs, fussy. Sounds like a royal pain! (X)
  2. AGARES: I doubt he can always rein in that croc. (X)
  3. VASSAGO: One of many to tell the past and future, he can also help you find things you’ve lost. Just so long as you keep it clean, I guess. (O)
  4. GAMIGIN: A horse with a hoarse voice. That’s unethical. (X)
  5. MARBAS: Can cure diseases, but also cause them. Surely in league with Big Pharma! (X)
  6. VALEFOR: Tempts people to steal! (X)
  7. AMON: Spits fire, but cures controversies between friends. Can also cause feuds? But I have a soft spot for Amon, so… (O)
  8. BARBATOS: Lets you understand birds and dogs, opens magical chests. What a pal! (O) 
  9. PAIMON: The most obedient to Lucifer, definitely a Bad Boy. (X) 
  10. BUER: And here we are at the gentle Dr. Buer. (O) 
  11. GUSION: Depending on what a “Xenopilus” is, he’s otherwise all about friendships. (O)
  12. SITRI: One of those who makes people horny. Armed and dangerous. (X) 
  13. BELETH: He’s got all those trumpeters. Very annoying! (X)
  14. LERAJE: The belligerent demon Robin Hood. (X) 
  15. ELIGOR: Knows all about wars, but doesn’t seem to be all about fighting them. Still, will err on the side of caution here. (X) 
  16. ZEPAR: Can make people infertile! What a dickweed. (X) 
  17. BOTIS: Future-telling, reconciliation, but never trust a viper with a sword. (X) 
  18. BATHIN: The first of those who can teleport people. Neat, but rife for abuse (and Star Trek-style transporter accidents). (X) 
  19. SALLOS: Another croc-rider, but specifically saying he’s peaceful. Well, I’m sold. (O) 
  20. PURSON: Rides a bear. Despite that, the Kings are probably not to be trusted. (X)
  21. MORAX: The bull-man who just want to make the world a smarter place. (O)
  22. IPOS: The Ugliest Demon, but he makes people witty. A Cyrano in our midst? (O)
  23. AIM: A pyromaniac. (X)
  24. NABERIUS: Another teacher! (O)
  25. GLASYA-LABOLAS: “An author of Bloodshed and Manslaughter.” (X)
  26. BUNE: Dispenses money. Commie! (X)
  27. RONOVE: The monster man who nonetheless is a rhetoric expert. (O)
  28. BERITH: He is the Philosopher’s Stone in demon form. All that gold will crash the markets! (X)
  29. ASTAROTH: One of the nastiest. Plus he has bad breath! (X)
  30. FORNEUS: More rhetoric and friend-making. (O)
  31. FORAS: Can make people invisible. Lead us not into temptation! (X)
  32. ASMODEUS: Need I say more? (X)
  33. GAAP: Makes people ignorant. (X)
  34. FURFUR: Another fickle one about summoning, can also cause thunderous storms. (X)
  35. MARCHOSIAS: Vomits fire, but really wants to be an angel again, so perhaps would still be on his best behavior. (O)
  36. STOLAS: All about that astronomy and those herbs and precious stones. No bias here! (O)
  37. PHENEX: A sweet singer and poet. Another who wishes to be an angel once more. (O)
  38. HALPHAS: Probably nice, but is also the bad kind of gun nut. (X)
  39. MALPHAS: Can read the minds of your enemies. As if you don’t already know from their passive-aggressive tweets and comments. (X)
  40. RAUM: Another dirty thief (but of rich kings, so maybe it’s OK), but also destroys cities. Oh. (X)
  41. FOCALOR: Kills and drowns people. Right to the point! Or to the bottom? (X)
  42. VEPAR: Guides warships, but also putrefies sores and causes worms to breed in them. Gross! (X)
  43. SABNOCK: Like Halphas, only for armor, but shares Vepar’s vile worm-breeding-in-sores power. (X)
  44. SHAX: The stealer of senses! (X)
  45. VINE: Discovers wizards and witches (!), but causes rough storms on waters. Also a King. (X)
  46. BIFRONS: Doesn’t seem so bad, but hangs out with the dead so he’s probably fetid. (X)
  47. UVALL: Another Goetia PUA. (X)
  48. HAAGENTI: More alchemy. These demons need some new hobbies! (X)
  49. CROCELL: Can discover baths and warm them up real nice, but also creates noises that sound like rushing torrents, like some weirdo. Consider it ambiance, I guess. (O)
  50. FURCAS: This Knight is a “cruel old man” who teaches pyromancy. We live in the universe where pyromancy is OP, so… (X)
  51. BALAM: Invisibility, King, Bear. Not a good enough ratio. (X)
  52. ALLOCES: NO MORE WARRIORS ON HORSES, PLEASE (X)
  53. CAIM: The bird-man, he lends understanding of animals and the waters (!), and things to come. He answers in hot coals, so as long as he’s not summoned near flammable objects Caim probably won’t give you any trouble. (O)
  54. MURMUR: A PERFECT philosophy teacher and mediator to the dead. Just wear earplugs for his trumpeting cohorts. (O)
  55. OROBAS: Tells of the past, present, future, and of divinity and the creation of the world. Said to be “very faithful” to the summoner. What’s not to love? (O)
  56. GREMORY: Future-telling, but another that messes with the hearts of women, if commanded. Come on occultist, just use a dating app like everyone else! (X)
  57. OSE: Ose can transform the summoner into “any Shape.” Keep your fetishes to yourself. (X)
  58. AMY: The flaming liberal science teacher. Like Caim, practice fire safety and you should be cool. (O)
  59. ORIAS: An astrologer, but can also magically promote people through ranks, presumably those undeserving of it. (X)
  60. VAPULA: A winged, lion-headed professor of “all handicrafts and professions.” (O)  
  61. ZAGAN: The bull King, can transmute blood into wine. Sounds a hair more effective than a wine festival. (X)
  62. VOLAC: Tells where hidden treasures are and where serpents may be seen. Needs a friend, badly. (O)
  63. ANDRAS: If you treat him as a joke, Andras will straight up kill you; suppose he’s tired of being laughed at for being an owl-headed man riding a wolf. (X)
  64. FLAUROS: Another particular demon; will lie if things aren’t just right, but can also burn people to death. (X)
  65. ANDREALPHUS: Who wouldn’t want to learn geometry from a peacock? (O)
  66. KIMARIS: The last horseback warrior. Logic, rhetoric, rules spirits of Africa, etc. (O)
  67. AMDUSIAS: The musician of Hell, Amdusias can also bend trees to the summoner’s will. That’s so weirdly specific I think I have to give it a pass. (O)
  68. BELIAL: The King Belial seems to be another fickle with the summoning process, requiring gifts and sacrifices, but is written to have a better demeanor than many others. Still, play with fire… (X)
  69. DECARABIA: The original star man and ornithologist, he just wants you to understand birds! (O)
  70. SEERE: He’s like a demonic U-Haul truck, carrying things to and fro as demanded. Tells of thievery, but doesn’t seem to condone it explicitly. (O)
  71. DANTALION: The last great teacher of the 72, but can control people’s minds. (X)
  72. ANDROMALIUS: Perhaps the most just of all the demons, Andromalius is said to catch and punish thieves and “discover all wickedness.” There must be a lot of internal conflict in Hell’s hierarchies, eh? (O)

So out of the 72, I have determined that 27 of them would be kind of nice. That’s not bad! But aside from the many teachers among them, Buer probably ends up with one of the best professions and demeanors, if not the best.

Of course, all of these demons still have command over X number of demon legions, Buer with 50, so it’s probably all relative, anyway.

4

THE DIVINERS | LAIR OF DREAMS | BEFORE THE DEVIL BREAKS YOU | [UNTITLED]

He comes! The King of Crows! A creature emerged from the woods, a sticklike man, with the air of a praying mantis, but the enormous blue-black feathered coat he wore gave him the bearing of a usurper king. On his head was a stovepipe hat that swirled with shadows. Lightning crackled all around him. A Gordian knot of black silk rested at the stiff, rounded collar of his shirt like an undertaker’s tie. The center was stuck through with a shining gold pin, a radiant all-seeing eye shedding a lone lightning bolt tear.

anonymous asked:

King dice dating hcs?

(This is my first time doing this so bear with me.)

Dating King Dice would include:

  • Spoiling you rotten (he owns a casino, so this is pretty much a guarantee). Such as getting you the best clothing, food, anything you want. He will provide anything for the one he loves.
  • Bragging about how adorable/handsome/beautiful you are to everyone in the casino.
  • Sweet smooches on the forehead and/or cheek with his cartoony stretchable lips.
  • Loves it when you sit on his lap.
  • Being protective over you. (especially from the Devil, Dice doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you. Never mind selling your soul for some reason.)
  • Letting you win at games to make you feel good, but not in a mean way. He likes to see you happy.
  • Staring at you dreamily while you aren’t looking as hearts float above his head.
  • Getting super blushy and embarrassed when you catch him staring.
  • Calling you his King/Queen/Monarch, whichever you prefer with permission.
  • Comforting you and cracking jokes with you if you’ve had a bad day.
3

“The lady’s thoughts have been heard. The love she bears the King shall never fade - and, in time, her feelings shall be known onto him.”

2

Queen Cersei laughed. “Wait until you birth a child, Sansa. A woman’s life is nine parts mess to one part magic, you’ll learn that soon enough… and the parts that look like magic often turn out to be messiest of all.” She took a sip of milk. “So now you are a woman. Do you have the least idea of what that means?”

“It means that I am now fit to be wedded and bedded,” said Sansa, “and to bear children for the king.” 

- Sansa IV, A Clash of Kings