Dick(as Nightwing): I brought reinforcements.

Barbara(as Batgirl): You brought Jason?

Dick(as Nightwing): Um… no, but I brought the next best thing.

[Tim as Red Robin walks in.]

Tim(as Red Robin): Hey.

Barbara(as Batgirl): Tim? You brought Tim? The next best thing would have been Alfred!

Tim(as Red Robin): Normally I’d be offended, but he is freakishly strong.

anonymous asked:

hey gf im not super into dc but any time you talk about the batfam i love it so much!! i could never get into comics and i know who the “basic” kids are but would you mind doing a run down on everyone? just like a super quick who’s who? thank u so much and keep spreading good vibes

I’m not your girlfriend but I GOT YOU, buckle up

  • Bruce Wayne/Batman: Bruce. B-Man. the hot mess upon which this family is built. watched his parents get murdered in front of him when he was 8, dealt with the trauma the healthy way (ie, dressing up as a bat). loves his kids deeply but not always good at expressing it. in terms of mental health, the most interesting comics character to me personally.
  • Dick Grayson/Robin I/Nightwing: the first sidekick and bestest big brother in the world. great ass, better personality. I have A Lot of Feelings about the dynamic between him and Bruce.
  • Barbara Gordon/Batgirl I/Oracle: the OG Batgirl who grew up to be the most powerful hacker and information broker in the world. takes zero shit from Bruce or anyone.
  • Jason Todd/Robin II/Red Hood: famously The Robin Who Got Murdered By The Joker; he got better. currently the #edgy member of the family who sometimes kills criminals but is mostly just gay and dramatic and wants attention.
  • Tim Drake/Robin III/Red Robin: previously a fanboy who became Robin by figuring out Batman’s secret identity; currently Tired and badly in need of coffee.
  • Stephanie Brown/Spoiler/Robin IV/Batgirl III: the word ‘plucky’ personified. sometimes Tim’s girlfriend, occasionally Harper’s roommate, always Cass’ bff. 
  • Cassandra Cain/Batgirl II/Black Bat/Orphan: raised by the league of assassins, adopted by Bruce. the Cutest. language skills vary by writer. she doesn’t kill but she doesn’t lose. 
  • Damian Wayne/Robin V: Bruce’s Actual Biological Child with an attitude problem. likes animals. 13 years old. not the most recent addition to the family but absolutely the kid brother.
  • Harper Row/Bluebird: scrappy teen genius who’s good at fixing stuff. semi-retired from vigilantism but that never lasts long. the only member of the family who’s allowed to be canonically bisexual. 
    • side note: Cullen Row, Harper’s brother, who’s delightful and canonically gay
  • Duke Thomas/Robin VI/Lark/Signal: the new kid in the family, still figuring things out. formerly part of a gang of teenage vigilantes, but the Batfam is definitely weirder.   
  • Kate Kane/Batwoman: lesbian cousin (Bruce’s cousin, specifically). cooler than you. doesn’t usually text back.
  • Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce’s butler/parental substitute. the only person all the kids will listen to regardless of the circumstances. 
  • Titus and Ace: the family dogs. good good boys.


  • Jason: Oh, wait.
  • Dick: What?
  • Jason: I understand what Roy’s text means now.
  • Dick: What do you mean?
  • Jason: His text says “tfw you’re sexiled till 9:30 pm and the library is closing”
  • Jason: And I thought he misspelled exiled.
  • Jason: So I made fun of him and said “sexiled” and he didn’t acknowledge it.
  • Jason: And I realized now, that that’s not what occurred and sexiled is actually a thing. I guess I’ve never experienced it.
  • Dick: Yeah, but what does "sexiled" mean?
  • Jason: Y'know, when Bruce has Selina over, and--
  • Dick: OH. [laughs]

Dick: Someone at work ate my sandwich!

Stephanie: Well, what did the police say?

Dick: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich! I can’t believe someone ate it!

Stephanie: It’s just a sandwich!

Dick: Just a sandwich? I’m 26 years old, I’m going to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! SOMEONE ATE THE ONLY GOOD THING GOING ON IN MY LIFE! [pauses]

Alfred: I have enough stuff for one more sandwich. I was going to eat it myself, but…

Dick: That would be incredible! Thank you so much! I still can’t believe someone ate it!! I left a note!

Stephanie: [reading the note] “Knock-knock.” “Who’s there?” “Dick Grayson’s lunch.” “‘Dick Grayson’s lunch’ who?” “Dick Grayson’s lunch; please don’t take me, ok?”

Cass: I’m surprised you didn’t go home wearing your lunch!

Jason: You want to hold on to your food, you have to scare people off. I learned that living on the street.

Dick: Really? So what would you say? “Keep your mitts off my grub”?

Stephanie: Dick, when you picture Jason living on the street, is he surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?

Jason: [writing a note] This will keep them away from your stuff!

[Everyone sees the note and gasps]

Alfred: Jason, you are a bad-ass!

Jason: Someday I’ll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop!

Alfred: Jason!


So Cass might be depicted as a 12-year-old in the Birds of Prey movie

How do we feel about this?

I personally think it can work if they give her a great beautiful arc where she develops emotional strength and maturity. She should be just as physically badass as she is as every age (can cut any bitch any time any place). Her language disability should not be something that infantilizes her, and she should not be patronized constantly. Cass deserves respect.

  • Steph: One minute I’m in Robinson Park.....Then I’m down on that Dimond Street
  • Tim: ....what are you singi-
  • Steph: From the Bow’ry to Gotham Dock’s....There’s a psychopathic beat....Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo
  • Tim: Oliver and Company? Really? Now?
  • Steph: We’re streetwise, we can improvise....Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo....We’re streetwise, we’ve got Gotham City heart!
  • Jason: Why should we worry? Why should we care? We may not have a dime, but we got Bat’s to pay the fare!
  • Steph: I should be mad, but I honestly didn't have an ending.
  • Dick: What's wrong? You look sad.
  • Jason: I'm not.
  • Jason: It's just my depression, Dick, and it's nothing to make fun of.
  • Dick: I wasn't making fun of you! I was just--
  • Jason: No, I know.
  • Jason: I was actually trying to make fun of Roy and he didn't notice.
  • Jason: So I think it was just disappointment.
The Move

Request: Hi! Can I get a request with dick x reader? Where the reader notices that he and babs are still have feelings for each other. Then the reader catches them in bed together asleep. The reader then leaves dick a note hoping that he’s happy with babs and has a good life. However dick realizes he still loves the reader and chases after her. You can end however you’d like. Thank you!!

Requested by: Anon

Word Count: 1410

Requests are Open HERE.

Friends are there for each other, willing to sacrifice for each other, willing to move an ungodly amount of furniture and tech equipment for each other for nothing more than some takeout as payment.  Barbara had finally procured a lease in the clock tower in the heart of Gotham, with some help from Bruce buying the property, but a new home for her nonetheless.

You and Dick had been working all morning to help move all of Barbara’s boxes, furniture, and computers into her new place.  All you had to do now was get everything unpacked and set up.  Deciding to take a break for lunch, you went to pick up some pizza while Babs and Dick started to put some of the furniture together.

You put the pizza on the counter, but didn’t hear Dick or Babs talking or working when you walked in.  You looked around the apartment, wondering what they could be working on.  You walked into the bedroom to find them both fast asleep on the bed, bringing every insecurity and fear you’d had about relationships to the surface.

Keep reading


Summary: Tim Drake died. And no one knew. He came back. No one cared. And now all he sees is green.

Tim supposes he understands why Jason was the way that he was when he returned to Gotham for the first time. Not as a ally, and certainly not as a Robin, but as an angry, hurt and broken man. It took all of Tim’s willpower to stay in control of his newfound temper. He amends Jason for how control he is now, it’s not easy. Tim now wears blue contacts so no one can see the lazarus pit green that took the originals blue’s place. His family knows that he lost his spleen in the fights against the council of spiders, but they believed that was all that happened. They didn’t know that he had lost his life during the final battle, and that Ra’s dumped him into the lazarus pit afterwards. That was also the same day that Tim took his first life.

Tim shook his head, as if that would help get rid of his thoughts from the past, and re-focused his gaze on the batcomputer in front of him.

“Hey, Tim, if you could hurry up on that information that would be great!” Dick called from the other side of the cave. The sane part of Tim knew that Dick didn’t mean anything by that, but the rage was weakening his grip on his sanity.

If Dick had believed me about Bruce being alive I never would have died.

His grip on the mouse tightened.

“Tim?” Dick yelled again, this time his voice laced in annoyance.

His fault his fault his fault his fault all his fault.

Tim didn’t even know it happened until the shards of the now broken mouse tore open his skin, he glanced down. His hand was covered in blood and plastic shards.

“Tim! What happened?” Dick exclaimed from behind him, Tim didn’t flinch. He turned around in the chair he had been sitting in, got up and started walking away, towards the med bay.

“Tim!” Dick’s voice was stern as he grabbed Tim’s shoulder and forced him to turn around and face him. Tim’s hand shot out and grabbed Dick’s, he jerked his hand to the left, and didn’t stop until he heard a pop. Dick groaned in pain as Tim dropped his hand, and continued his walk to the med bay, only to be stopped again. This time by Damian.

Damian is the reason I got kicked to the curb. He is Dick’s favorite. If Damian had been the one claiming Bruce was alive, Dick would have believed him.

“Apologize to Grayson this instant!” Damian demand, in his bratty tone.

Tim regarded him with disinterested eyes,  “Make me.” Tim’s voice was bored, but on the inside the rage was burning him up. And he knew eventually it would burn him alive.

Damian’s surprise showed in his eyes.

His green eyes. Green……

“Do not make me ask again, Drake.”

“No.” Tim knew better than to enrage Damian, he really did. But right now, Tim was itching for a fight to release some of the rage built up inside of him.

When Damian jumped for him, Tim sidestepped and landed a devastating blow to the younger boys back, knocking him to the ground.

“Tim!” Dick’s voice was pure shock, but the exclamation didn’t reach Tim’s ears, and the pain in his right hand faded to where he could no longer feel it.

Damian stumbled to his feet, where he regained his balance, and the fire in his eyes. Damian grabbed his sword from the sheath on his back, and swung it with deadly accuracy at Tim’s left shoulder. Tim supposed Dick was right, Damian was getting better, before he would have swung at Tim’s head. Tim caught the blade, and he gripped it tight, ignoring the blood running from his already injured hand. Tim brought his knee up and made contact with Damain’s chest, brutally. Tim took advantage of Damian’s moment of weakness and ripped the sword from Damian’s grasp, before tossing it behind him.

The rest of the fight was a blur, and the next thing Tim knew, Bruce was in the cave, screaming.

“TIM! NO!”

Tim looked down and saw a batarang pressed tightly against Damian’s neck, a thin trail of blood running from the wound. Tim’s sanity returned, and he dropped the batarang and stumbled backwards, his eyes wide in horror.

That day, Damian needed 20 stitches and Dick was in a cast for 6 weeks. The day after, Bruce suggested Tim take a break, which resulted in the biggest fight the pair had ever had; which was saying something.

“Tim-” Bruce tried for a calming tone, but it was far too late. The rage had taken over. It wasn’t Tim anymore, it wasn’t. It was the pit. He thanked God for his blue contacts right now, he had almost forgotten them today. He knew that his eyes were a chilling, petrifying lazarus green.

“No! No, shut up Bruce.” The words were out of his mouth before he realized he had them, but nothing was left in him to feel bad for the look of shock that flashed on Bruce’s face. A voice inside him laughed, good! “This is not your decision to make, and I swear to God if you even so much as move in the direction of trying to stop me, you won’t like what happens.” Tim’s voice was just short of animalistic, his threat digging deep on Bruce, who was really, truly hurt by his son’s words.

“Son-” Bruce tried once more, but the glare that Tim shot him not only chilled Bruce to the core, it scared him. It didn’t look like Tim in that moment, it was… something else.

“Don’t.” Tim’s voice was deathly calm, and Bruce decided he prefered it when Tim was yelling. “Don’t you dare call me your son. You are not my father.” Another piercing jab.

“Master Timothy!” Alfred’s shrill voice rang throughout the cave. Tim shot Bruce another withering look, before stomping upstairs, and out of the house.

If Tim is being honest, he doesn’t remember anything that happened for the two hours after the fight. All he knows is there is a lot of blood. And a lot of green.

Tim is very happy that it was Jason who found him, sitting cross legged in a large pool of blood, that was not his, surrounded by four bodies. He doesn’t think any of the others would’ve reacted very well. And he had no interest in ending up in arkham.

“What the fuck, Tim!?” Jason yelled, yanking his hood off and tosing it on the ground, away from the blood, before making his way to where Tim sat.

“I don’t know.” Tim’s voice was a whisper, and the thing that scared Jason the most, was that he didn’t sound even remotely guilty, just scared of the unknown.

“Okay.” Jason sounded a lot calmer than he actually was, “Come on, Timbo.”

“Where are we going?” Tim asked as he followed Jason out of the alley way.

“Safehouse.” Jason’s voice sounded robotic, and one glance told Tim it was because he put the hood back on.

They made the rest of the journey in silence. Tim was silent because he didn’t know what to say, but Jason was silent because he was thinking. Chief among those thoughts were, what the hell happened to Tim?

enbyfish  asked:

What D&D class and race would each of the bat kids most likely favor?

Shit that last ask didn’t include Bruce or Alfred so what D&D class and race would they favor? (Alfred would play D&D with the kids, you know he would)

I’m going to preface this by saying I actually don’t think Alfred would; I absolutely do not believe that all the Bats are into d&d lmao. 

I already talked about the four that are here. for anyone who doesn’t want to click that - Steph is a dwarf rogue because she thinks it’s funny; Harper is a goliath warlock because it’s cool; Cass is a kenku cleric because she doesn’t get roleplaying but wants to help; Tim is a human wizard because he’s a vanilla geek.

Duke might actually also be a d&d guy; I’d peg him as a half-elf fighter or paladin.

Dick would play a tabaxi rogue and base her entirely off how Selina acts when she’s in costume, because he thinks he’s funny.

given enough prep time Barbara would probably show up to the table with a homebrew that’s somehow completely within the rules but also a ludicrously overpowered gamebreaker, but she’s got shit to do so she’d like… an elf wizard. 

Jason is… honestly? I think Jason’s character would be a werebear barbarian exactly like the one in my actual d&d party, which is to say: surprisingly chill, adopts every animal and orphan the party meets, occasionally goes ham and kills the shit out of people, wears a leather bikini.

Damian hates this game because he has no idea how to be cool in real life, let alone in a made-up fantasy context, but he would play a tabaxi monk.

Luke Fox is playing a gorgeous shitty elf bard, and he’s playing it exactly how you think he is. 

Bruce is just a human fighter. that’s what he’s got, dude.

Alfred would obviously be a gnome or tortle cleric because he just wants to make sure everyone’s getting healing.