“What’s wrong with the way I talk? You’re not that discriminating rabble-rouser from earlier, are you? I’ll have you know that Master Reaver has given me full permission to get rid of you as I please! And believe you me, after working here for so long I’ve witnessed plenty of no-so-pleasant ways to get rid of annoyances such as yourself. So there.”
“Yeah, well, tough. I may not be the best-looking man in Albion (that would be Master Reaver, in case you missed the memo), but I’ve been gifted in other ways. Very…very gifted, ha ha ha!”
“And hello to you too, love! Why don’t you come over here, Sweetheart, and ol’ Barry will show you a good time?”
(((As much as I like Barry, I don’t really want to turn this into an Ask Barry blog. But questions like this every once in a while is okay. :) I’m pretty proud of how his face turned out in this one, for once. His ugly mug’s pretty hard to get down right.)))
After all, when one is working with such inherent natural beauty, there’s very little one can do to improve it. I use a little shadow to enhance my eyes, a bit of eau de Cologne for that added spice, and voilà! Perfection personified.
“But Mastah Weevah, what about all those facial creams and lotions you use?”
“Oh! And the corset, don’t forget about the corset.”
“And then there’s the pedicures and manicures, the special bath soaks you had imported from Aurora, the pomades, those little pencils you use for that little heart on your face-”
“Yes, Mastah Weevah?”
“…Right. I’ll go get the whip, then.”
The one on the top shelf should be sufficient.
“Top shelf! But that’s the one with, with the glass and the-!!!”
That’s the one, you’re quite right! How generous of me, to choose such a light punishment. I suppose I could simply shoot you, but it would really be such a waste. Aside from your little verbal outbursts, you really are a good butler, Barry. But if you’d prefer…?
“No sir, Mastah Weevah! I’ll get the whip off the top shelf, just as you asked! Thank you Mastah Weevah!”
((( *shamelessly rips off official art poses* >_>;;; )))
It’s not written by me, but it is one of the funniest, quirkiest, and greatest fanfictions about Fable 3 I have ever read.
It’s about how Reaver got new servants and since everyone was afraid to work for him, all the applicants he got for the job were from a circus! It’s much better then I could ever make it sound. It will make you giggle, and cry. Tears of joy or sadness I know not.