Barely Breathing

I’m now going to tell you about the most magical and amazing experience I’ve ever had and ever will have. This post is SO long so go grab some popcorn 🍿

So on October 2nd I was working a nightshift. It was little to do and just went in and checked my emails. I saw two emails from twitter saying Taylor Nation had sent me a DM!! I panicked so bad and went on my twitter to check if it was real. And on my twitter I have two DMs from Taylor fucking Nation. I stared shaking so bad and could barely breathe. The message said *CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE* and that they have a secret, special event they would like to talk to me about, and to send my full name, phone number and best time to contact me. Have you ever tried typing in details like that while your hands are shaking so bad like you’re on drugs?! ITS HARD MAN! I obviously gave them my details (duh), and told them my lips are sealed and it sounds so exciting! Then I panicked cos I thought my reply was too late, and had to ask if I was too late, and then I apologised for sending them so many messages 😂 They said “haha you’re all good, thanks doll”. Then I was supposed to take care of newborns and their moms and stay calm at the same time. IT WAS SUCH A STRUGGLE! I had to go to the bathroom to try and breathe.

We were not supposed to tell ANYONE, but I just had to send my friend Lyndsay a message saying it’s important to check you DMs on twitter often. And she replied “I know, you too…” and I just KNEW she had gotten a message too. If she replied with something different I wouldn’t have told her anything. We started freaking out together and it was beautiful.

I didn’t know when to expect a phone call, all I knew was that I need to have my phone on sound at all times. Like you can’t miss the most important phone call of your life! I had an evening shift the next day and told work I just have to have my phone on sound cos I’m waiting for a very important phone call. Every time my phone rang I just immediately panicked 😂. I can’t remember the time but I was at work and in a patients room when my phone started ringing. I quickly said “sorry I have to take this” and ran out of the room. I look at my phone and it’s calling from New York 😱 I die and start shaking and answer. It was Ali calling from Taylor Nation!! She confirmed it was the right person she was talking too and gave me some more details. It was going to be a secret special event in London on Friday the 13th of October from 4pm-11pm. She asked if I was going to be able to make travel arrangements and I was like “duh YAS OF COURSE”. She told me I could bring a plus’s one, and since I knew that Lyndsay was already going, I gave them my friend Alex’s details. She told me again that this was confidential and I couldn’t speak about it to anyone except my parents, guardian and boss at work. I was going to get more information early the week following. I probably sounded like the most bored person cos I was IN SHOCK, like I was just “yeah” “uhu”, “yes”, and didn’t show any excitement at all 😂. She hung up and continuing work was the hardest thing EVER!

I made travel arrangements and sorted hotels with my friends. I was already going to London on the Sunday till Wednesday before the event on Friday, so I knew the week would go quick anyways. On Sunday evening I out of the blue get an email. I was at the hotel with my mom having a pamper evening, and I was SO THROWN OFF COS I THOUGHT I WOULD GET IT ON MONDAY OR TUESDAY. My mom filmed my reaction to getting this email and it shows how Taylor Swift makes me feel nearly 24/7 😂. The email again said that it was confidential and not to post anything about it or tell anyone. They gave us an address for a Holiday In hotel where we were going to meet up. They said not to bring too much personal belongings cos this was going to be taken off us as well as our phones. AT THIS POINT I STARTED TO BE MORE CERTAIN THAT I WAS GOING TO A SECRET SESSION. Hence my reaction to getting the email lol. I still tried to not get my hopes up, and tried to tell myself that maybe I’ll get to hear a new song and have a swiftie party. Good thing I was in London and could get myself an outfit. OMG IVE NEVER BEEN MORE STRESSED ABOUT FINDING AN GOOD OUTFIT EVER!! I did find it by the help of my really good friend!

THIS STORY IS GETTING SO LONG, sorry 😂 Well done for getting this far. I’m going to skip forward to Friday now (aka the best day of my life).

So, FRIDAY THE 13TH. I get up at 4am to catch my flight to London. My stomach is doing backflips trying to catch butterflies cos I was so excited and nervous and anxious at the same time. I couldn’t listen to any Taylor music cos I would just start to cry, so I ended up listening to P!nks new album (which is amazing btw). When I get to London I meet up with Lyndsay, Megan and Alex. We head to the hotel where we are going to stay and to meet up. Here we get dressed and as I was to put my makeup on I realise that I’ve forgotten all my make up and I go in a full on panic. IM SUCH AN IDIOT! Luckily Megan had makeup I could borrow. After we got ready we headed down to outside the hotel. There were loads of girls with red lipstick and dresses so we knew we were in the right place 😍. We qued up outside, they were running late, think we stood outside for 40 minuets maybe. We then got to the front of the line and inside (finally cos I was freezing my ass of). Taylor Nation was there ready to sign us in!! We signed a confidentiality contract and showed our ID and GOT OUR WRISTBAND!!! (KANDJFJRJDJ)!! It said United Kingdom on it, written in reputation font!!! SO EXCITING! We then went down the stairs to a room with lots of chairs in. There were refreshments, and hot drinks (yay for cold me!) for us while we waited for further instructions.

Then we were told to leave our stuff behind, including phone, and the first 25 people went on a bus. Me and Alex got on the second bus. Now I stared getting SO nervous, it’s ridiculous. Before we went on we where scanned by security. Then the bus took off! We drove a title while and was driving through the most posh neighbourhood EVER, like I WANNA LIVE THERE! The bus stopped and we were told to be quiet while we went off. I realised we were at a house, and you could only guess I was thinking we were at TAYLORS HOUSE!! There were lots of security while we were taken in a back entrance of the house and in through the basement. I had to knock on the door 😂 (so I could say I knocked on Taylor Swifts door, I know I’m extra 😂). We got scanned by security again before we were taken up to the kitchen. GUYS, THIS HOUSE IS AMAZING!! ITS SO HUGE. We still haven’t by this point been told where we are, but duh 🙄. I KNEW we were at Taylor’s house. Her kitchen is beautiful! She has 4 ovens!! There were lots of snack on the counters. Homemade chicken nuggets, fruit, cheese and fizzy drinks. There were also REP cookies!! And REP m&ms! SO COOL! Andrea and Scott was also in the kitchen talking to other fans. Me and Alex just hung around and talked to a few people. Then Lyndsay and Megan arrived, we hugged each other cos they also realised where we were. We then ended up talking to Scott. He has never been to Norway!! And I told him he neeeeeds to come here.

Her house smells AMAZING. I obviously had to see which candles she was burning so I could by them 😂. We were then told to get in a line as we were going to a different room. This was after everyone had arrived and had some food. Me, Alex, lyndsay and Megan were quite up front as we were taken to a living room. There were cushions on the floor and we sat down. I sat down not even thinking about where. Me and Alex chose a high cushion and shared it. A 100 people was going to fit in this room and it got really tight! When everyone had found a spot there was some whispering and the door opened a little. THEN THE QUEEN THAT IS TAYLOR SWIFT WALKS INTO THE FUCKING ROOM AND IM SCREAMING. We were so loud! I FUCKING LOVE HER SO MUCH 😭😭 Like I couldn’t believe she was like right there in the same room as me. As I was having difficulties breathing she sat down like 2 meters away from me and Alex, we had such a good view of her like OMG. Then she said we were going to hear the whole FUCKING ALBUM AND WE DIED. We now knew this was A FUCKING SECRET SESSIONS PEOPLE! SHE ALSO SAID SHE HANDPICKED EVERYONE! I FUCKING DIED! TAYLOR HAS LURKED ME FOR A YEAR WITHOUT ME KNOWING 😭😭 I’ve never had a like or a follow, and I don’t have many followers on any social media. STILL SHE FOUND ME! I’m got eye contact with her so many times during the listening 😭😭😍! SHE IS SO HAPPY TOO!! I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH! AND IM TELLING YOU GUYS THIS ALBUM IS BLODDY AMAZING. (If you think you are stupid enough that I’m going to tell anything about the album, you are being funny, don’t bother asking 😉)

After she had pledged the album we got to look through the magazines!!! THEY ARE AMAZING AND IM SO HAPPY I WILL BE ABLE TO BUY ONE WHEN THEY COME OUT!! Then we waited to meet her JENFBDJSSHHSHDB 😭. I was getting so nervous by this point. Like I was going to meet the one person who has been there for me for so many years and I get to tell her how much I love her. We were one of the earlier ones to be sent in to meet her. Megan and Lyndsay were in front of us and a free they finished it was our turn.

I RAN OVER TO HER AND HUGGED HER AND SHE DIDNT LET GO UNTIL I DID 😭😭 I just couldn’t believe what was happening. She then hugged Alex and told me SHE FUCKING LOVE MY OUTFIT! She said “I love this whole outfit situation going on” I died. I told her that it’s not something I wear a lot and she said “you should definitely do!” IM OBVIOUSLY NEVER TAKING THIS OUTFIT OFF. Alex then said he wanted to wear the same outfit but we couldn’t match so he said I could wear it, and she laughed 😂 I love how we had a sarcastic conversation with Taylor Swift 😂 She then laughed at Alex’s apology for his bored resting face. I’m SO PROUD OF HIM SPEAKING TO TALOR, you have no idea! ❤️❤️ Then we were told to move to the side a bit cos they were going to open up the front door (so no one could see she was living there). This gave us more time with her and I’m so grateful! I then asked her about anxiety with singing and she gave me tips on singing and performing in front of people. TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT GAVE ME ADVISE ON SINGING AND PERFORMING!! JJDNDJDJFJRJD. Alex then thanked her for giving him the best friends ever and she hugged us both again 😍 Then it was time for picture. We didn’t plan a pose, we just took one. SHE RESTED HER HEAD ON ME AND I SISNT NOTICED BEFORE I SAW THE PIC! It’s so adorable 😍 There were so much more I wanted to tell her, wish I had a few more minutes but I guess she had ALOT of other people to meet.

We then went out in the hallway and ended up talking to Andrea. She reminds me so much of my mom!! She is also a bit similar! I told her about my mom and that she was worried I was sleeping in the airport by my self the following night. We then talked about how happy Taylor is and she was tearing up 😭 It was so beautiful to see how happy her parents were for her 😍😍 We gave her a biiiiig hug and then walked down to the basement again. There we stood trying to comprehend what just happened. I still don’t believe it, don’t know if I ever will? We then got merch!!! We got a REP tote bag, pop socket, t-shirt, a sticker, a cap and the best thing ever, a exclusive keychain that only us on the secret sessions London got. IT WAS SO NICE OF THEM! We were then sent on the bus back to the hotel. There we spoke to Ali about confidentially again and what we could talk about and not. She is so sweet!! Megan and Lyndsay old us TAYLOR KNEW WE WERE IN NASHVILLE TOGETHER 😭😭 OMG!!

When we came back to the hotel I called my mom and SOBBED. I couldn’t even talk to her cos I was crying too much. Then I posted online on my social media about what happened and my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR TALOR SWIFT. THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR THIS!! And thank you to Taylor Nation for giving us this opportunity, it means so much to us ❤️ The picture ended up perfect and I’m going to hang it on my wall so I can stare at it everyday 😍 I’ve been crying since Sunday cos this has been so so emotional to me. I can’t even tell people what happened without crying.

@isturkeyanickname

I’m sorry this story is a mile long 😂

Thank you so much @taylorswift and @taylornation

“I had this vague notion that one day I might be editor of ‘Vogue China.’ It was a bizarre ambition, as I didn’t speak a word of Chinese. There were flaws in my plan, admittedly.”

updates:
  • No, I didn’t quit Tumblr!
  • It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve posted on here, but it’s not like I’ve fallen off the face of the earth.
  • Yelling at me on Twitter doesn’t make me feel more inclined to post.
  • I’m a full-time student working a full-time job. Tumblr isn’t exactly my priority right now.
  • I posted a text post the other day about how last week was my first week back at school since the hurricane and I was swamped with homework so I wasn’t able to queue anything. I have since deleted that post because it only resulted in me being sent more angry tweets.
  • I started this Tumblr because it was fun for me, but that is no longer the case. I just can’t bring myself to play the Huntley save right now with so many people being so angry about it. They’ve effectively ruined it for me.
  • I already had to turn off asks completely on this blog to combat all the negativity. I hate that it has come to this point. I just want to share my Sims screenies. I didn’t want any of this pressure.
  • Once exams are over after this week I’ll have more time to play again. Here’s to hoping I feel less burnt out by then.
  • People are probably going to hate me for saying any of this, but lots of people hate me no matter what I do so it probably doesn’t matter anyway.
  • I ate frozen pancakes this morning and they were 11/10 great. Happy National Pancake day.
  • You. Stop typing that. Stop typing that angry tweet. I don’t want to read your angry tweet. Stop it. Stop right now.

Things I noticed after watching IT a second time

- Eddies little “sorry mommy” ((im yelling))

- how they all watch each others backs while walking through the school

- Stan calmly explaining about the bar mitzvah

- Eddies little hands over his mouth when Richie was freaking out about his missing poster

- also Richies glance to Eddie when he’s freaking out about his missing poster

- How Richies glasses make his eyes look slightly bigger

- Bills quivering lip

- How quick they were to accept Mike and Ben into their group and how quick Mike and Ben fit in

- Beverlys rings

- Blonde kid in Henry’s gang looks like Draco Malfoy

- Eddie’s so small and cute I love my son

- Richie holding Eddie’s face after they find Pennywise attacking him

- Every time something happened with Eddie and his asthma whether is was just him using his inhaler or the fact that he could barely breathe when Pennywise was attacking him just makes me want to hold him forever

- Eddie buying Richie ice cream

- Bev just looked so scared covered in all that blood I’m in love with her

- “Derry started as a beaver trapping camp.” “Still is! Am I right boys?”

- We didn’t see Bill with his parents much (his mother not at all) and I just think that shows how alone he was in his need to find Georgie, and why he felt so betrayed when his friends gave up too

- Ben’s room ❤️

- Eddie’s little red shorts

- Bev: “I need to show you something?” Richie: “More than you showed us yesterday at the quarry?”

- Beverlys slow-forming smile

- Richie and Eddies long ass hug at the end

- Eddie looked so sad when his mother took him away after he broke his arm he was just so sad

- Henry’s shaking hands over his face when his dad shot the ground next to him

- “Nothing like a little fear to make a paper man crumble.”

- Stan Mike and Eddie all in the “Bill no what the fuck” club

- Richie eventually joining this “Bill no what the fuck” club after Eddie was put in danger

- “Bills gonna kill you!” AKA Georgie’s fear of disappointing Billy. (Fuck you, Pennywise.)

- The way Pennywise looks at Richie after he calls his lair a “crackhouse”

- “Don’t breathe through your mouth.” “Why?” “Because then you’re eating it.”

- That was Eddie coming out of the Matress? I didn’t realise it was him the first time.

- “Not every plant is poison ivy, Stan.”

- Pennywise used Eddie to lure Richie (cue me sobbing)

- Stans little bunch of curls peeking out through his bandage

- Bens lil nose

- Mike always looks so scared and worried I just want to protect him

- Bills pyjamas that are almost to small for him in the beggining of the movie

- also the cinematography in the beginning (well, the whole movie actually) is beautiful and part of the reason I love this movie so much

- Ben’s cliché kiss to wake up Beverly has been so overused in the past we all thought it wouldn’t work but it did and that surprised us.

- Pennywise is a fucking hoarder

- The fact that Stan and Eddie left first is just foreshadowing for what happens next and I want to cry

Concept: Alien’s don’t laugh. Not the way we do at least. Their version of laughing is like making a noise in their native language that literally means “I find this amusing’ 

So when they meet a human for the first time and the human finds it hilarious that the alien cant fit through the door, but the alien is even more confused because the translator doesn’t know what the human is saying. They are making noise, the alien can tell that much but the don’t know what they are saying. 

and the human finally straighten back up, wiping at its eyes, “Sorry for laughing man but that was funny” the human makes the same noise as before just a little softer and a little less loud and the alien is so confused. 

So they ask the human what they were doing and the humans like “laughing? wait… you guys don’t know what laughing is???” 

and the aliens like nooooo….

so the human has to explain what laughing is “it’s when we find something funny. That’s how we let people know we think the thing is amusing” 

“like this???” and the alien does a series of clicks and hisses that sound more scary than humorous but when the human looks at the translator in their hands it flashing the text “this is amusing. I am amused by you.”