Barbar

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Latest updates: At least 22 dead in blast at Ariana Grande concert

My heart goes out to the parents driving home without their children. To the teenagers with an empty desk beside them at school today. To the best friends who turn to make a joke to someone, only to remember they’re not there. To the teachers who call out the register, only to stumble on a name. My heart goes out today to all those affected by this horrific, barbaric and heartbreaking attack in Manchester.

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Trump issues Ramadan statement, makes it mostly about terrorism

  • Trump issued a statement Friday wishing Muslims a “joyful Ramadan,” but apparently could not resist peppering it with repeated references to terrorism.
  • “This year, [Ramadan] begins as the world mourns the innocent victims of barbaric terrorist attacks in the United Kingdom and Egypt,” Trump wrote. “America will always stand with our partners against terrorism and the ideology that fuels it.”
  • Trump’s statement veers sharply between well wishes for the holiday and tough talk aimed at terrorists and their backers. Read more (5/26/17)
An Updated SVU Drinking Game

(just for funsies)

Take a sip when
the dun-dun plays
Barba’s tie is a different pattern from his shirt
Carisi smiles at someone
Carisi gets emotional
Barba has a pocket handkerchief that’s coordinated with the rest of his outfit
Someone asks Rollins about her baby (x2 if they point out that “motherhood should have her mellowed out” and x3 if the comment is work-related)
Catholics
Carisi mentions one of his sisters
You remember that Amaro isn’t there and you miss him

Take a shot when
statutory
a prominent political figure is the perp
Barba talks really fast for a really long time and you don’t quite know what’s going on
Benson and Rollins side with the female rape victim (take another shot when the boys are finally convinced)
Ice-T is shocked by the depravity of a crime even though he’s been in SVU for centuries (x2 if he says “that’s messed up”)
Carisi tries to be a lawyer
One of the gang has a “when I lived in the projects” moment
The crime is taken straight from the headlines (but totally fictional, right?)

Finish your drink when
Barba speaks Spanish
the perp is a priest
Carisi brings everyone Italian food
Barba admits that Carisi is right
Dick joke
Rollins goes rogue
Benson is held hostage
the entire SVU department is investigated
“That’s why I joined SVU.“
someone accidentally shoots an unarmed black man

People asked for a larger resolution picture of the parallel historical materialism map. I think this should be a better resolution.

(And again, this is very simplified and overall Not Good™ by many standards; I get that. It is simply meant to convey how historical modes of production change according to material and technological factors, as well as how those factors could give rise to either a class society (most of history’s unfortunate trend) or a classless society.)

[Tweet by Twitter user Samanticka. Caption: “Arrests continue. #ADAPTandRESIST #SaveMedicaid”. Photo: A woman with short hair in a green shirt using an electric wheelchair and oxygen support holding a sign that says “Medicaid = LIFE + LIBERTY 4 Disabled Americans”]


So if you follow me, you’ve probably already heard that the ~new and improved AHCA~ is, shocker, completely barbaric.

A disabled activist group called ADAPT is staging a protest at Mitch McConnell’s offices right now. (I’ve marched with them in the past, they do good work.) There are videos coming out of the ensuing arrests right now, and I will warn you right now, they’re horrifying. I won’t lie to you, I cried my eyes out watching some of them. But these people aren’t being dragged screaming from their wheelchairs so no one will watch, so here are a few twitter links.

The protest before the arrests began

Protesters being forcibly removed from their wheelchairs

Yet another example (warning, this one’s loud and really upsetting)

THEY DROPPED SOMEONE


Disabled protestors are often barred from public demonstrations, like marches, and fall under the radar when they do large-scale protests like this. Please see us and hear us when we demand our human rights.

Pimp Health

Context: we were attempting to retrieve a party member and we’re about to enter combat. I’m a dragonborn bard and there’s a bugbear barbarian.

Seren (me) : I cast heroism on Magloret

Magloret (Barbar ooc) *after just raging to knock out a guard* well my rage ends if I don’t take damage or attack for a round. Someone hit me.

Seren ooc: fine, I’ll backhand Magloret. And since I have to touch to cast heroism I’ll cast it with the backhand.

Dm: Ok, you cast heroism and deal 1 damage to the temp health and he keeps his rage.

Seren ooc: I just pimp slapped health into him.

Before the day State of Israel declared it’s existence, there were 300,000 Palestinian refugees in surrounding Arab countries. The notion that Palestinians fled their homes to create a free fire zone for Jordan, Syria, and Egypt is a lie.

Of the total refugees, at least 55% were explicitly forced out by Haganah/IDF operations. Note that this is of the total 700,000. If the Free Fire Flight myth is true, this would mean that Haganah’s share of the blame for the refugees fleeing before Israel declared its statehood was even larger. The notion that most Palestinians fled voluntarily for any reason is a lie.

Israeli military intelligence says that roughly 15% of the expulsion was the result of groups like Lehi and Irgun. The notion that they played a small part is a lie.

The prospect of “population transfer” based on the “instructive example” of Turkey and Greece was openly supported by Zionist leaders as early as 1937. The notion that the Nakba came about as a result of “the exigencies of the moment” is a lie.

The difference between Haganah and Irgun/Lehi is that where the latter groups of Jewish militants would exterminate civilian populations where they arrived, the former group of Jewish militants would give civilians a head start and THEN raze their villages to the ground. This, they called “Havlagah”: Restraint.

The 1947 partition plan would have created an Israel that was, at most, 55% Jewish in population, encompassing all but maybe 10,000 Jews in the region. The final armistice lines created a country with almost 50% more land than the proposed partition. The notion that Israel “begged the Palestinians to stay and build a country with them” is conceptually absurd.

In 1948, Israel passed the “Infiltration Law”, making it a criminal offense for Palestinian refugees to enter Israel in an attempt to peacefully reclaim their private property, on the grounds that they were “foreign infiltrators”. The notion that they could have returned to the homes after hostilities had ended is (obviously) a lie.

The fact that the Palestinians able to remain became citizens of Israel who eventually gained something close to equal rights as a 10% minority in an explicitly Jewish ethnostate after a few more years of martial law does not exactly change anything I am saying.

The fact is that the Nakba was a crime, perpetrated by Israel, against the Palestinians, in order to steal their property and forcibly expel them from their homeland.

This is “rendering an area ethnically homogeneous by using force or intimidation to remove persons of given groups from the area”. This is ethnic cleansing. This is barbarism. This is evil. This is Zionism. This is Israel.

This is al-Nakba: The Catastrophe.

The Average Intergalactic Cadet’s Field Guide to Understanding Their Human Classmates and Crewmates.

Written in Earth English
Current as of Earth Date 05-09-17

Understanding Their Competitive Nature and Occasional Aversion to Physical Activity or Friendly Sports

The Barbaric Practices of Young Human Physical Education.


Physical Education in many Human Schools

In the required Physical Education class, the students play all sorts of physically demanding games such as: Kickball/Matball, Dodgeball, Prisonball, or Linetag. These names may sound alarming and rightfully so. In our observations, the “games” they play are often humiliating for some and potentially injury inducing for others. Pardon our generalizations, but if your human is academically inclined, it is likely they do not have fond memories of their Physical Education classes and you will understand why after reading this breakdown of a typical class period (45 minutes to an hour long)

Kickball/Matball:
In Kickball and Matball, the small humans are divided into two “teams”. This may be done by the “coach” or by an outdated and socially cruel process of assigning “team captains” among the students who then alternate picking their fellow students to be on their teams. From this, the students who are either athletic or popular or both are easily determined from the shy, clumsy, or awkward students.

Once the teams are decided, the team that will be attempting to score points will line up; they are called the “visiting” team. The team trying to keep the opposing team from scoring points fan out across the gym; they are called the “home” team. The defending team will roll a spherical object called a “ball” at the line of students visiting team. One of the offensive students will then kick the ball as hard as they can and then run for a mat/base like a Idjwluge is chasing them.

Now this is the part where things get interesting. The home team students will attempt to catch the ball. If they catch the ball in the air before it hits the ground, the kicker is “out”. Three “outs” will cause the teams to switch roles. The kicking team doesn’t want out; the defending team wants to cause outs. If they don’t catch the ball, they can still grab the ball and throw it. We do not joke: the only way to get the kicker out after a non-catch is to THROW THE BALL AT THEIR BODY SO THAT IT HITS THEM. There is another option where the defensive team holds the ball and taps the running player with the ball, BUT THAT NEVER HAPPENS; THEY ALWAYS RESORT TO THROWING THE BALL AS HARD AS POSSIBLE. BECAUSE HUMANS LOVE TO MAKE THEIR LIVES AS DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE WITH THE MOAT POTENTIAL FOR PAIN. However, if the runner gets to the base/mat before the ball hits them, they are “safe” and cannot get out as long as they are on the base.

This is one way where kickball and matball differ. In kickball, the runner on base is required to keep moving to allow room for the next kicker in line to get on base. In matball, there can be as many people on base as can fit on the mat. This routine will continue: kick, run, kick, run until you can run “home”. “Home” is the place where you kicked from. The bases form a diamond and there are four of them that form a circular running pattern. You kick from “home” base, and run towards “first” base. You then head for “second” base. Then “third” base and then back to where you started. If you safely make it home, you score your team a point. In kickball, you run the bases once. In matball you run them twice: first, second, third, back to first, second, third, then finally home. This probably to makeup for the advantage of choosing when you run to the next base rather than being obligated to.

The goal is to score as many points as possible before the other team gets any person on your team out three times.


Dodgeball:
If you thought that game was horrid prepare yourself again. After this description, the word “dodgeball” will strike fear in your heart. The entire goal of dodgeball is TO THROW A BALL AT THE OPPOSING TEAM WITH THE EXPLICIT INTENTION OF HITTING THEM WITH IT.

THAT’S IT.
THAT’S THE GAME.

The humans are split into two teams similar to the kickball teams. They line up on opposite walls. Precisely in the middle of the “gymnasium” (which as near as we can tell is the official name of the torture chamber of public schooling) are a row of spherical balls lined up parallel to the lines of students on each side. When the “coach” blows a whistle the students sprint for the balls, grab them and retreat. What follows is a chaotic battleground the likes of which we haven’t seen since the Battle of Wakowwnoif. The “game” is simple. Throw the ball at a member of the opposing team. They avoid the ball. If they are unsuccessful at dodging the impact, they are “out” and move to the wall. If they do dodge, they are fine and nothing happens. If they catch the ball thrown at them, they can bring one of their teammates back into the game and the person who threw the ball is out. If the person gets hit in the head, the person who threw the ball is out (this is the closest we could find to any sort of safety precautions laid out in this game). The game continues until one team systematically hits every member of the other team out.

Humans.

Prisonball:
Prison ball is exactly the same as dodgeball, it just has a few more enhancements and opportunities for social humiliation. Teams are still split in two. However, each team has three figurines called “bowling pins”. They are placed on the gymnasium floor. The goal of prisonball is to knock down the other team’s figurines and get the other team out. So each team is guarding their figurines while still playing dodgeball. Another twist comes when you are hit with a ball. Instead of simply being out, you are in Prison. Prison is an area in enemy territory separate from your team.

There are two ways out of prison. One is statistically unlikely. On each side of the gymnasium, located high up on the wall is a hoop with a net hanging from it. If the opposing team manages to to throw a ball through that hoop from their side of the gymnasium, everyone on their team in prison gets to rejoin the game.

The other way out is if a teammate throws a ball from their side of the gym, over the enemy territory and the enemies heads and the comrade in prison catches the ball, then the prisoner is set free.
This method requires a few things. First it requires the prisoner to have a friend on their team willing to throw them a ball. Second, it requires the non-prisoner teammate to be able to throw a ball that great distance accurately. Third, it requires the prisoner to be able to catch the ball. Fourth, it also requires the non-prisoner to also get hit in the process of doing all this, and if the prisoner and would-be rescuer don’t have any other friends-they are simply out of luck. In other words: the human must be popular and athletically inclined or just very very lucky. This is where the social humiliation comes in. However, many of our reports have shown that this game is prefered to dodgeball because once the human is “in prison” they simply have to pretend that they are trying to get people to get them out but then can just fritter away the rest of the game not participating. These are the humans we want to recruit for strategic planning.

The game ends when all the figurines are knocked down-either by the opposing team throwing balls at them or by the guarding team’s clumsiness.

Linetag:
Linetag is the least strenuous “game” the humans play in Physical Education. In all honesty, it looks rather fun. The human game of “Tag” is usually characterized by chaotic running around and avoidance of the human that is “it”. If “it” touches another human, that human is now “it” and must “tag” another human. There are many variations of this game that we will detail below since they are the least barbaric of the human “games” and might be useful in certain training exercises.

Linetag is one of those variations. Linetag requires a floor with different sets of intersecting lines. For some reason, humans decorate their gymnasium floors with a design of lines. Further research is required to discover if these are sacred markings, if they have special meanings, or if they are just for aesthetics. Two to four humans are chosen to be “it”. They remain “it” for the remainder of the game. Their goal is to tag every one of the non “it” students. When the student is tagged, they must sit down right where they are-no matter what.

The trick to the this game, however, is that the humans are only allowed to walk on the lines. They cannot deviate from a set of prescribed routes. They cannot hop lines. They must find intersections to avoid “it”. When a player is tagged and they sit down, they become a “roadblock”. The fleeing humans cannot pass them-but the “it” humans can. The game continues until all students are sitting.

Other Tag Variations:
Freeze tag: chaotic running pattern, but when “tagged” the player freezes though touched by a Nxiebxwoie. Game continues until every player is frozen. Players can unfreeze friends by crawling through their legs. (We do not understand why this would work to unfreeze someone but we have discovered that humans have very vivid imaginations when it comes to recreational activities)

Amoeba tag: also known as “sticky tag” or “worm tag” one player is “it” until they tag another player and then they are “stuck” together and must hold hands while chasing the other humans. With each tag, the “it” group gets larger and larger continuing to hold hands, link elbows, etc. Great fun to watch.

Circle tag: humans pair up and link elbows in a circle. “It” and a “runner” will begin a pursuit. The “runner” can link elbows (the bendy bits of their upper limbs) with anyone of the pairs and the partner that didn’t get linked must then run away. If they are tagged they are now “it” and the former “it” is now the “runner” and must find a pair to break up.


For the athletically disinclined human, you could understand why these activities would be traumatizing. Oftentimes these games were treated as though they were the equivalent to our Yeqipguited Games by the more athletically inclined. The less talented humans may have been mocked. If the human you are working with seems less inclined to participate in a game of Bejbpoi, you now understand why.

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byōbu-e 屏風絵 - peinture sur paravent attribué à Kanō Dōmi. 狩野道味 (1568-1600).

L’art Nanban 南蛮美術 ou Namban, désigne l'art japonais des 16ème et 17ème siècles influencé par les contacts avec les Nanban 南蛮 (“barbares du sud”), les commerçants et les missionnaires en provenance d'Europe et spécifiquement du Portugal. Le terme se rapporte également aux peintures apportées au Japon par les Européens.