I play bassoon in our intermediate band and double bass in the senior band. The last time our school bands did a concert, there were I kid you not at least 4 White Moms™ that came up to me and yelled at me for playing “instruments not fitting for a young woman” and “setting a bad example” for their daughters. One of them didn’t even know what a bassoon was (she called it a clarinet the entire time) nor what a double bass was (she called it a “big violin”), apparently it was just bc the instruments were relatively larger…like ok chill I like bass instruments what’s wrong with that I’ll hit you over the head with my double bass

Band instruments as things I've heard them say
  • Piccolo: .... (I don't think I've ever heard them speak. Thinks they're better than everyone and doesn't talk to other band kids)
  • Flute: guess what 'band director' said about 'piccolo'
  • Oboe: *quietly playing a solo, very concentrated*
  • Bassoon: *squeak*
  • Clarinet: we're gonna play those two notes ff instead of p so it sounds like 'DOOT DOOT' wanna help
  • Bass clarinet: I don't think I play here
  • Alto saxophone: I can fit my whole mouthpiece down my throat I'll show you
  • Tenor saxophone: we either play 4 half notes the entire song...or constant 32nd notes....I don't understand
  • Bari saxophone: so do I do sectionals with the trombones, or...?
  • Trombones: *screams into instrument*
  • Tuba: why am I even here
  • French horn: (secluded, doesn't speak much. Very put together. Know what they're doing)
  • Trumpet: *clearly plays wrong note* that wasn't me
  • Percussion: *screaming* RATCHET SUPREMACY