Balst

His Friends hate him! Local man discovers easy cheap way to destroy 500USD competative decks in a casual format!

{DISCLAIMER: ALL MTG PRODUCTS BELONG TO WOTC, ALSO THIS DECK IS NOT MODERN LEGAL}

Hi there! Do you play MtG? Do you want to dominate the game in a terrible fashion? Do you want a deck that your friends imeadiately scoop when you play them casually? Do you want to lose said friends? ……. Do you have 50 dollars? Great! Here at Dr. Devilshorts Inc. have just the solution! Introducing Pox! Never heard of it? Your opponents probably haven’t either but tHEY’LL NEVER FORGET THE SUFFERING. I was like you, I was broke as fuck and lost to my friends constantly but with Pox I destroyed both their decks and their willingness to talk to me! Let me show you the secret to my dark success:

24 Swamp


4 Liliana’s Caress
4 Quest for the Nihil Stone
4 Pox
4 Smallpox
4 Waste Not
4 Chain of Smog
1 False Cure
4 Hymn to Tourach
4 Rotting Rats
3 Abyssal Nocturnus
3 Sign in Blood
3 Reassembling Skeleton

66 Total Cards (because this deck brings you ever so slightly close to Hell)

Now let me explain this evil thing here…

For starters, your opponents have protection? They think they are safe??? POX CARES NOT, IT TARGETS EVERYONE, WE MUST ALL SUFFER.

So the average player at turn 3 against this deck has 3 land, a creature or 2, 4 cards in hand, and 20 life. Starting with life, and Pox ALWAYS rounds up, your opponent now has 13 life. They now have most likely only 1 creature, 2 land, and 2 cards in hand. You have the same, so how do we win??? Easy! Let’s run a good hand of Pox to see!

TURN 1:

Swamp and….

We will get to why this baby is important on turn 3!

TURN 2:

Swamp and…

Would you look at that? Still doesn’t target anyone!

TURN 3:

Swamp and POX

So if we go off of the previous knowledge your opponent goes down to 13, then when they dicard 2 cards Liliana’s Beautiful face slaps them for 4 more so 9 life left and go back to Nihil Stone and read it, now look bakc at me, now back at the stone, it has 2 counters on it, but more on that in a minute. Now your oppponent is sad and has very little lands and thigns to do.

TURN 4:

From my experience people have about 2 cards at this point so blam 4 more life because Liliana and they are at 5 life and no cards (also read it carefully, discard at random!)

OPPONENT UPKEEP AFTER TURN 4:

They have no hand, reread Quest, look at your opponent untap his things with 5 life, look back at Quest, look back your opponent, your opponent has 0 life.

Pox is possibly the strongest deck I have ever built from scratch, it is my Opus Magnus. It was simple not too expensive, has great synergy, but has no reliable weakness to it. It keeps pace with other decks because it ruins mana curves by balsting creatures and land. It hurts you too, but you only ever need 2 or 3 mana to be a dick. I hope at least 1 person found this deck fun, but do me a favor. If you build it and your friends look into your cold dead eyes and ask “Why? Why have you done this?” Shrug and tell them, “Gary was done taking shit from Slivers.”

CHARACTERS WHO COULD OR SHOULD JOIN THE RUNAWAYS

Because why not?

Singularity

Who: A mental toddler full of hope and optimism out to do good in the world after imprinting on the superhero team A-force.

What: She is a sentient pocket dimension.  She is able to teleport, blast things, fly, and hide people and things inside herself. 

Why: Because Nico and her formed a deep bond and that is not easily broken.

Hazmat and Mettle

Who: Jennifer Takeda and Ken Mack. Both of these kids had fulfilling lives before their powers took away what they wanted.  They found solace in each other.

What: She’s radioactive and poisonous, having the live in a containment suit because of it (until a poorly written ‘cure’ was applied to her).  He used to be a surfer before he was turned into “Red Irridium” by being flayed alive.  He’s super-strong, and super durable, but can’t feel much. 

Why: Both Mettle and Hazmat clicked with Chase and Nico pretty well. One of my big criteria for Runaways team members is people thinking they might be evil, and these kids have that specter over them.

Plus, they could double date with Chase and Nico and be really, really cute together.

Mania

Who: Andrea Benton.  A goth girl who is bonded to a hellspawn-infused version of the Venom symbiote. 

What: aside from various venom-related powers (spider-sense, enhanced strength, enhanced agility, regeneration, enhanced durability, claw/tooth/and tentacle creation), she has a Hellmark which allows her some demonic magic/control over demons.

Why: She’s an orphan with an ‘evil’ power, and an ‘evil’ parent of sorts.  And since flash seems to be letting her down a lot, she might as well hook up with the Ruanways. 

Sun Girl

Who: Selah Burke, daughter of Lightmaster (Edward Lanksy), a bright girl who was inspired by Spider-man to do good with science!

What: She has invented energy blasters and a jetpack that are all solar powered/light enhancing.

Why: Villainous parentage, and after her experience in the new Warriors, she might be more towards the Ruanways way of thinking (cleaning up the messes of adults, not bowing to their authority).  Haeichi might join her in that regard.

Rage

Who: Elvin Haliday. A young kid who, thanks to chemical waste exposure, becomes a hulking figure.  Former Avenger, New Warrior, and Lucha enthusiast.

What: He has Super-strength and Durability. 

Why: He is pretty well solidly orphaned twice over.  And his short temper has gotten him into trouble before, he could fit in pretty well with a bunch of kids on the run (though he’d blend in about as well as Ken Mack). He also shares a deep disillusionment with adults. 

Surge

Who: Noriko Ashida, former leader of the New X-Men. Stubborn, and driven into depression because of her responsibilities as a leader. 

What: She has electrical absorbing and projecting powers.  She can also channel this into bursts of super-speed. 

Why: let’s face it, her generation was basically abandoned by the X-Men.  Putting her and her friends through hell easily disillusioned her.  She can’t take that other members of her class still stomach the poor treatment they get from the established X-Men.  Her mutation also forced her to run away from Japan to America (not an easy feat) and she lived on her own for months before being adopted into the X-Men (or as she sees it, “unknowingly drafted”). 

Also, her and Victor Mancha might be cute together. 

Scorpion

Who: Carmilla Black, daugther of pre-mutation Bruce Banner and Monica Rappaccini (one of the Scientist Supreme of AIM).  Trained by shieLD to do infiltration missions.

What: Aside from SHIELD training, she has been given a Gattaca treatment to nearly ‘perfect’.  She also has the ability to absorb and project poisons in the form of a ‘venom blast’.  She is also immune to radiation. 

Why: Villain parents give you insant Runaways cred.  She might be there to spy on them, and then come to like them as a new family, just to make her eventual ‘traitor’ reval all the sweeter. 

Because I am evil.

Ghost Rider

Who: Robbie Reyes, a good kid with dark powers from his evil uncle’s spirit. 

What: Mystical empowerment, Hellfire, a sweet rid, blades and chains are all as his command.  And he’s tough as hell. 

Why: He’s living solo, though not off the grid.  A young man still going to high school who works to keep his little brother well cared for is more along the ‘adulting’ path than the Runnaways, but I figure he could help them all survive better in the world.  Chase, at least, could get a job at the shop with him.  And his little brother would totally have a balst with Molly.

Also, him and Nico would make an interesting ship. Or Fusion.

Nomad

Who: Rikki Barnes, girl without a world. Lives on her own, off the grid in order to battle the Secret Empire. a world. Lives on her own, off the grid in order to battle the Secret Empire. girl without a world. Lives on her own, off the grid in order to battle the Secret Empire.

What: She has no powers, trains as best she can, and stays off the grid as besst she can.

Why: Look at all that!  Look at it!  she’s taylor made to at least ally with the Runaways! 

Spider-Girl

Who: Anya Corazon, twice orphaned, outspoken young woman with a drive to do good.

What: Standard Spider-Package with some mystical edges to them.

Why: Twice-Orphaned, and formerly working for a society that didn’t tell her everything.  distrust of adults from that alone gets you Runaways cred. 

Stinger/Stature

Who: Daughter of Scott Lang, determined, driven, and with an inability to take ‘no’ easily.

What: She has size-changing powers, and she has tech that allows her to fly, blast, and control ants/wasps.   Though there are some Heart issues she has to deal with …

Why; If it wasn’t for the Young Avengers, she was going to run away to LA to join the Runaways.  She got along with them pretty well.  Well, except for that incident with Molly …

Frostbite

Who: Aside from the above?  She was rules strict and is learning they don’t always apply.

What: ice Powers, and she’s pretty buff.

Why: She was a Runaway in one world already, might as well make her one in 616.  Also, she can crush on Karolina (or Nico, she does have a thing for Gothy Asians). 


Feel free to share your own ideas!

Over the past year I have got to work on several of my favorite comics being published. I’ve learned a lot from coloring these heroic tales, lessons I will repeat for eternity. So now it is my turn to stand tall and write a story about a hero worth following. I promise, there will be growth and laughter all through out the journey. Looking forward to more collaborations with great artists. Character inks by @sayunclecomics