The signs as shit my professors said during my first year of theatre school:

Aries: “I’m missing that finger because my ex left me at the alter so I cut off my finger and retuned the ring”

Taurus: “Did… did he just climax?… no wait I loved it. Bigger next time”

Gemini:“So the question is: who ties up who when they’re hatefucking?”

Cancer:“Someone google if you can pay a sex worker with a credit card”

Leo: “I really hope we don’t get pulled over. I have a suitcase full of syringes and fake heroin in the back”

Virgo: “Straight people just humping away in the courtyard”

Libra: “Rainbowliciousness, it’s like the 90s again”

Scorpio: “This show has some of the best puppet sex I’ve ever seen”

Sagittarius: “Bear in the Big Blue House is like your fuzzy gay uncle”

Capricorn: “Today we’re going to learn practical life skills” *teaches us how to make balloon animals*

Aquarius:“I had a skunky weekend”*student mimes smoking a joint* “No, but I shoulda”

Pisces: “Eating pizza is a state of mind”

Please fire me. I’m a bouncy castle operator and was yelled at today by a parent because I wouldn’t let their 10-year-old 160 lb. kid on the bouncy castle with the 3-year-olds.

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Day 10 OTP Challenge: 50′s Version of Them

OR - Louis and Harry wearing ‘I Love Lucy’ dresses I liked the look of, which came out in the 50′s. Sorry it was a bit of a reach, but I had a LOT of fun with this one.

flickr

mickey mouse balloon by Mike Hackett
Via Flickr:
mickey mouse balloons at disney’s magic kingdom.

Four Clones Share Their Favorite Jedi Generals To Serve Under

“Definitely Plo Koon,“ Trooper 1 tells us confidently. “You wouldn’t know this by looking at him, but the General has a real talent for making balloon animals. If we do a good job, sometimes he’ll give us one. I have a purple bantha in the barracks.”