eXo BiOs ☆╮( ̄ω ̄ヘ)

백현; you are my sunshine, you are my moon, you are my love ♡*。 (baekhyun)

수호; there are some good things in my life, but nothing compares to you♡*。 (suho)

exo-l (n): family of exo   

park chanyeol  (n): better known as my life (or other member)

e.x.o.-.l (n): a person who loves and support exo at all costs. (or other member)

i love kim jong dae and i will protect him — [♡] (or other member)

do kyung soo  is the most beautiful art ever created by mother nature (or other member)

always feeling frustrated because of kim jong in (or other member)

i love oh se hun since was born (or other member)

kim minseok is my superhero (or other member)

i promise to be your umbrella when life rains down on you, kim jun myeon (or other member)

pensei que era 1miragem mas é so o xiumin  (or other member)

eu e meus amigos minha casa servimos a exo 

entre baekyeol e baekyeon eu particularmente prefiro baekeu (nossa desculpa)  (or other ship)

i’m the part of baekyeol squad support (or other ship)

— i shipp baekyeol bc i believe in true love♡*。 (or other ship)

exo proprietario do mundo nos so existe msm

pena de urubu asa de galinha baekhyun e xiumin sao duas rainha  (or other member)


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  • you liked my back? if so, place orders
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  • ©  @tminseok 

When A’s a feisty little fuck with a hot temper (probably a mafia boss or something) but for some unfathomable reason has a soft spot for B who’s always trying to push their buttons and see how long they can keep their head attached to the rest of their body for.

A: *casually sipping on champagne like they hadn’t just gone on a gorilla rampage* I may have a bit of a temper…

B: So I’ve gathered. You’re also quite the tsundere.

A: *slams their champagne glass down on the table and glares* I could break your fucking neck

B: Try me : )

anonymous asked:

what happened in 2014? what was that post about?? (Btw I only now just noticed ur url is "goth"chanbaek not "got"chanbaek...)

L O L don’t worry about the url… I haven’t changed it since summer 2016 (when Monster came out and my mutuals made “goth” urls falsdk;jfaldsf)

So 2014 basically got hit by a huge shitstorm. The Sewol Ferry sinking of course was a national tragedy and left many idols devastated; some kids on the ship were very much fans of different idol groups and relatives / friends reached out to the idols to tell them so. I cried during the whole fiasco and I wasn’t even in the country …. the debacle just made my heart ache.

Related to the actual kpop industry itself, Kris did leave EXO in May of 2014 and opened the flood gates for the biggest SM scandal since the breakup of DB5K into 2VXQ and JYJ. (DBSK had the largest fandom to date, called Cassiopeia, and it had fans in China, Korea, Japan…. they were especially known for how big they were in Japan. Breakout and steady success in what was considered Asia’s largest music market, by foreign and non-American artists was absolutely amazing. For the record, it has names specific to each language: Tong Vfan Xien Qi = TVXQ, the Mandarin name; DBSK = Dong Bang Shing Ki, Korean name; and Tohoshinki is the Japanese name. They technically debuted as a Japanese act and not a Korean act releasing things in Japanese which adds some nuance important for considering record breaking and setting, money, etc which are not important for our purposes here.) Kris’s sudden departure opened wounds older kpop fans had considered closed since the breakup of Kpop’s largest act (BigBang wasn’t shit in comparison for quite some time and even LeeSooMan apparently considered SJ throwaways from DBSK) and cast yet another huge, negative, ugly spotlight on the abuses of SM Entertainment in the past. The sticky part is how people started to analyze why this departure was not so sudden, and I will return to that in a bit.

This departure itself was ugly because Kris left in the middle of Overdose promotions and a few weeks before EXO’s first tour would commence. For context, Overdose came as a follow up to EXO’s smashing 2013 success with Growl Repackage and Miracles in December. They became the first artists to become million-album sellers in years with Growl and they won Album of the Year at the Mnet Asian Music Awards, when G Dragon had won pretty much every thing else that night (lmao) and SHINee was also up for the award. So they, a rookie group less than 2 years old, managed to win that award despite the STIFF sunbae competition on top of becoming million sellers… All eyes were on them no doubt and the public and fans were looking forward to their next promotions and their first concert tour… … SO you can imagine the laser focus this drew to the group and to the company. I will tell you right now: Not. A. Pleasant. Experience. The fandom was l i t e r a l l y imploding and people were taking pro-Kris and anti-Kris stances everywhere and calling him a traitor and calling fans fake and — and there was the part where only Suho was on stage to receive EXO’s award right after the news came out and my soul broke in half and the days you could tell EXO had been crying before coming onstage and and and – THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH SAD AND ANGRY IN THE FANDOM I hated it.

There are many bloggers who were around, who I followed during that time who aren’t around anymore. T_T

If I tell and explain everything wrong that happened in 2014 I could be here quite a while, so I’ll keep it short and jump to Baek’s instagram post. He made that post (xx) and one or two others I think, in response to the vicious and heinous reactions he and Taeyeon received after Dispatch revealed they were dating. Yes, this happened even in the aftermath of Kris’ departure. Yes, this only made things worse. Why? Well to add fuel to the fire, Baek had made a sort of cheeky promise that he wouldn’t date until EXO had made it, weren’t rookies anymore… basically he “promised” not to date until around 5 years after EXO debuted. That would be this year… so you know …. those deluded fans who took him seriously flipped out. Add on to that the fact that Taeyeon is many years his sunbae in terms of activity in the industry and the leader of the Nation’s Girl Group ™ and both jealousy of her and resentment of the fact he was in a relationship caused fans to make vicious posts and comments on Instagram–BOTH of their Instagrams, though his was far worse–and many other social media sites and forums. (Twitter comes to mind too.) THEN to top it all off, Baek was an MC on a music show (Inkigayo maybe?) and YOU COULD SEE HE HAD BEEN STRESSED, SLEEP DEPRIVED AND CRYING on many days and so-called “””fans””” had the nerve to shout and call him a traitor–among other things–ON LIVE BROADCAST like h o l y  s h i t this was bad. Baek should not have had to ~apologize~ for dating Taeyeon, as he did in the post.

Okay now winding back to what I mentioned earlier: rumor theories. Theories about every damn thing started floating around. There was a big theory about how Kris had wanted out of EXO since before Wolf (Wolf preceded Growl, but both were in 2013) and that Kris fabricated his visa issue. I have that on my blog and can hunt it down for you if you want to read the full body of “Evidence ™” but it’s actually plausible. Another theory was that Taeyeon and Baek were not actually dating–and this has many strains. One strain indicates that the entire relationship was fabricated as a distraction from the Kris departure and lawsuit , while the other states that they did date at one time but broke up way before any of the drama started–SM just used them since they had been together before as an easy cover up. These kinds of theories did not help a damn thing and just seeded further distrust and resentment within fandoms. Like seriously you had SONEs and EXOL screeching at other over this relationship, and even though they were not majority or mainstream fandom members / opinions, they still became pretty vocal. Many bad egg EXOL attacked both Baek and Taeyeon, and fewer SONEs attacked one or both. The theories that surrounded their relationship, including that they gave “hints” with couple items and that Taeyeon gave Baek a fan gift just . It was so ugly. Kpop fans showed their ugliest side. There were venomous comments for weeks. Baek and Tae even left Instagram for a while and Baek stopped being energetic and talkative when with EXO. I hated it so. fucking . much.

Let me tell you. Within SM? It only gets worse. Outside of SM? It gets much worse.

Within SM… Luhan also leaves EXO in October of that year. That’s TWO members, both Chinese, leaving the SAME up-and-coming and ~spectacular~ group, in the SAME year. Boy did that get media attention. Oh, and SM’s stocks took a much bigger dip after Luhan left than when Kris left. Oh, and Luhan’s deteriorating condition was much more visible than Kris’s and just stoked the flames of hatred against SM all over again.  Oh, and Luhan was EXO’s biggest China connection and most popular member in China … hence the stock drop. A few months later, Luhan was making literally millions on his own, which reinforced the premise that the dude was worth wayyyy too valuable for SM to give up willingly. Which of course they didn’t , which is why the main lawsuit lasted for about 2 years. But yeah now the forever-12 group with 4 Chinese members was down to 10 and only 2 Chinese members (bad for connecting to the Chinese music market which is full of $$$$) and media was losing its mind ! So was the fandom! Now the definition of traitor had shifted and you were a traitor and YOU were a traitor and we’re all traitors !!!! 

And JESSICA LEFT SNSD TOO !!! The only way I can characterize everyone’s emotions at the time is: WHAT  T HE F UC K ??? Luhan and Jessica’s respective departures literally happened within two weeks of each other !!! What were we supposed to d o ??? Between all three departures, you felt like you were getting punched in the gut, then the face, then the genitalia, then kicked on the ground. SNSD was forever nine man, nation’s girl group, biggest Kpop girl group ever and suddenly a main vocalist is gone ??? B O Y !

Oh, I forgot to mention how Tao posted on his Instagram very …. resentful things when Kris left . Mmmmm yeah it was bad, not gonna elaborate too hard but … he took it back later in 2015. You probably know that he, too, is now a former EXO member by now.

2014 was good in that you had groups GOT7, Mamamoo, RedVelvet, WINNER, Akdong Musician, Lovelyz, JJCC, etc debut that year. But it was bad due to circumstances surrounding some of  those debuts. 

Notably, Red Velvet was accused of having their debut rushed because SM wanted to cover up the ongoing lawsuit news. Now I know this sounds ridiculous: a dating scandal AND debuting an entire group early just to cover up some bad publicity about an idol leaving your company? Well given how persistent the press was and how bad the lawsuit and allegations made SM look … it’s not that difficult to believe and it most definitely was not hard to gobble up as reliable gossip at the time. At the time, it was considered the norm that SM covers up bad news by Any Means Necessary, and to generate positive publicity. The BaekYeon thing backfired tremendously in that it gave hatred to artists instead of positivity but it sure as hell kept folks’ minds off the lawsuit for a bit. (Also there’s the whole strain of thinking corporations and business control and influence the media, which is something many of us can relate to and why this can appeal so strongly.)

I believe the fact that Yeri joined RV later and was going to be a permanent addition, and the only addition, only helped this theory. After all, apparently she was intended to be with the group from the start, but she was too young when RV debuted. This seems to imply that RV debuted sooner than they were supposed to. ~X files music plays in the background~

WINNER also got shafted pretty hard. They won the big reality idol-elimination show WIN: Who’s Next? hence the title WINNER (formerly Team A) and then YG highkey neglected them because  …well honestly YG wanted the Next Big Bang ™ and WINNER’s ballad style wasn’t going to do that–no matter how much Mino you throw in the song. Plus he demonstrated obvious favoritism to Mino, Bobby and B.I. in general and once WINNER highkey disappeared after they dropped their release (as rookies you are supposed to do follow up promotions the same year and within a decent time frame – EXO did not do this like they were supposed to, again because of Kris visa issue [hey that theory’s looking mighty Fresh again]) it became clear that YG wanted the next group out of the WIN cycle to get the spotlight–that group became iKon (formerly known as Team B). 

Lovelyz had an issue with one of their to-be-debuted members name Jisoo. Jisoo was accused of … well have you heard of the things the boy trainees under Produce 101 are being accused of ? If so, think along those lines. If not: suffice to say it involved manipulation, lesbianism and abuse within the relationship…. bad stuff to be accused of in South Korea lmao so the group was involved in scandal before even debuting! In the end, Jisoo did not debut on account that the allegations were being investigated and taken seriously–in addition to claims that she was ill due to the drama on the internet and within her live as a result of the accusations, and that she needed to recover.

I will end with those three examples of debut issues. Let’s go back to a group that debuted the same year as EXO: B.A.P. 2014 was the year B.A.P sued over “slave contracts” with TS Entertainment.  According to the suit, since debuting in 2012, B.A.P had earned over 9 million dollars, yet the company had only given each member $16,000 on top of forcing members to perform to the point of hospitalization and fainting.

ZE:A, which debuted in 2010, also revealed issues with their company (shocking!!! at this point) and the group leader Junyoung (Lee Hoo) took to Twitter  to criticise his managing company’s, Star Empire’s CEO Shin Joo Hak for allegedly mistreating idol groups and their unfair contracts. He also alleged that CEO Shin Joo Hak both abused him and lost the company money. So there were accusations of financial and human capital abuses. He even posted income receipts on Twitter. You can read through (reliable!) translations of the events here: xx.

I want you to imagine hearing about all this shit throughout the year and thinking things are “over” and then just getting whacked whacked whacked whacked all about because you care about all these groups at the same time . J US T . :~)))))) I was fine : ^) everything : ^) was fine : ^) Nothing bad :~) was happening at all :~)

Oh and let’s add to this list, another thing that got negativity and didn’t deserve it: Super Junior’s Sungmin marrying Kim Sa-eun in 2014. ELF (SJ fandom name) were f u r i o u s at him for marrying so suddenly. ELF were trending #SungminOUT on Twitter because they wanted him kicked out of SJ for marrying. I was a pretty big SJ fan at the time so between everything !!! I WAS SCREAMING what the hell was wrong with people ???? Mad about a marriage ! They weren’t even mad at the lady (which doesn’t make it better), but purely the fact that he was getting married and didn’t give … idk some kind of prior notice? I knew he was enlisting soon after, but that wasn’t the source of the anger… anyway, other ELF counter-trended the #SungminOUT thing with a positive tag instead, and sent him lots of love, so it worked out…. but still many ELF were mad at him. If memory serves correctly, it was primarily K-ELF (korean SJ fans) who felt this sort of entitlement to him that led to the anger and it was …. yikes.

What else is there to say about that year? Of course people re-examined previous abuses by companies, including SM Entertainment’s maltreatment of DBSK, Hangeng of SJ (SJ’s former Chinese member who sued, won, and left the  group and the company due to mistreatment), disbandment of H.O.T., Shinhwa’s departure from SM, etc etc etc so you had layers of SM stan pain. SHINee and f(x) became known as SM’s only groups to not lose a member or disband … and then f(x) lost Sulli in 2015 … :| 

This is the most I remember or came to light when I looked up different issues I had thought of. If anyone wants to add to this list of catastrophe then please, go ahead. .-. I’m not even proofreading or else I’ll just get emotional for the umpteenth time. Hope this answers your (and 3 other folks’) question well! 

Benevolence Masterlist
Truth behind Asian Media & Entertainment companies

First of all, I decided to be anonymous because of course, I don’t want to lose my job. Any people I know in real life might find me in no time, so I don’t want to take the risk. I will be stating some examples, I’ll try to be less specific as possible so I wouldn’t give in the identity of the artists I’ll be talking about. Anyway, if ever I don’t make any sense explaining things, I apologize because English is not my first language. 

Second, why am I writing this? I’ve been seeing indirect arguments between some Kaisoo shippers and some Kaistal shippers regarding SM Entertainment, etc. I will have to be honest here: it kind of annoys me when some people drop statements about Asian media as if they know everything about it. Also, I feel really bad for the people who are manipulated. So, I decided to reveal what I know. But I wouldn’t be shocked if there are still people who will chose not to believe in what I have to say, so, I’m not here to force you to believe. I just wanted to share some truth behind BIG entertainment and media companies like SMent. (I emphasized BIG because not every companies does this because of the risks & because they’re not powerful enough like the BIG ones). I want you to be open minded about this, I don’t want everyone to be totally fooled. 

Third, yes, I’m a fan of EXO, SNSD, f(x) and Shinee. They’re the only groups I thoroughly followed since the beginning. But I will not state who my biases are and who do I ship because it doesn’t matter, I will not be biased on my statements. I will be stating facts from real life experiences I have from studying and working in Asian media & entertainment industry. I won’t be on Kaisoo shippers’ side, nor Kaistal shippers’ side.   

Lastly, I don’t work for SM Entertainment or any entertainment companies in South Korea. I work for a big media and entertainment company somewhere in Far East Asia (East and Southeast Asia, I’m sorry I don’t want to be very specific about this for obvious reasons). I’m not going to claim that everything I’m going to say about media companies are 100% evident and true in SM, but everything I’m going to say is a common practice among media and entertainment companies in East and Southeast Asia.

I will answer questions/arguments/assumptions that frequently come up because of the Baekyeon & Kaistal issue and this insider info in 2012. This is just an eye-opener for those who are not familiar w/ how the media & entertainment industry in Asia works. My purpose is to let you guys be aware of some of our practices, I don’t intend on going against any companies and any people. 

Is everything scripted? What they say on interviews are scripted?

Not all the time. Expected and general questions are usually half scripted, half scripted because we only say the gist of what they have to say, we don’t require them to memorize everything, of course. This is for PR purposes, it’s for their image and the image of the company. The artists know it anyway, that they have to keep their reputation good no matter what. Also, it’s the company’s decision if the artist will have to keep quiet about a certain topic.  

Are artists really packaged? Aren’t they showing their true personalities?

Not all the time. We only do this to artists who are considered important for the company, or the company’s favorites. One example is this actor-singer under our company, we debuted him with a manly image, a lady’s man type (because he really is handsome & looks manly). But in real life, he’s actually gay. There were scandals about him being gay because he was caught two times (he’s so stubborn about going out at night, I’ll talk about this later), 1st: w/ another actor from the same company, 2nd: w/ a male singer from the same company, but our company remained silent about it (it’s actually a strategy as well, keeping silent about a scandal, because if we refrain from talking about it, then people will forget eventually). So the company continued on giving him projects as if no scandal has ever happened. The journalist who reported both incidents later apologized in public, she/he received a lot of hate actually because the public really loves this guy whom they truly believe is straight. There is also this one singer whom we debuted as a “sexy-type” lady. But she’s actually the girly and shy type in real life.  

Are artists really paired beforehand? 

Again, not all the time because we only do this to important and favorite artists of the company. We choose those who look physically good together. Actually, there’s a certain pair that has no chemistry at all in real life, like they don’t even care about each other (but they became friends eventually since they’re always together). They each have their own private romantic relationships w/ non-celebs, but since they look physically good together, they were paired. So our company reported & confirmed that they are dating in real life (I’ll talk about fake dating later). But fans saw the guy with another girl recently (even took a picture), but the company remained silent about it, as always. Probably soon, they will release a statement that “they’re only friends” if the issue is still alive for a long time. BUT! There are paired artists who eventually started real romantic relationships because they actually fell in love. Like this dancer couple (who got married) and these two singers (who, sadly, broke up). ALSO, there are a few real relationships whom we took advantage of IF and only IF they are famous & are loved by fans as a couple (this is kind of rare though).  

Is fake dating really a thing/marketing strategy?

Yes. If we learned that a lot of people loves seeing them together, then we will show what the public wants to see. But we mostly do this to create hype for both artists & their future activities, and of course, the profit that the company can get from it. But what if the public suddenly doesn’t want to see them together? How about the fans who would be brokenhearted? This will be bad for both artists! Honestly and unfortunately, the company doesn’t care. It’s true that we consider all publicity as good publicity. We actually have this phrase: success from scandal. After the scandal (any kind of scandal actually) arose, we will not bring that up ever again. We’ll continue giving the artist their activities to still promote them, & proceed as if nothing happened. This is very effective actually. Anyway, I saw someone said that why would they do this to get attention, they’re already famous! Because we only use the “reporting/confirming a fake relationship strategy” for artists who are already famous. We will never get the attention we want if we suddenly report that there are two not-so-famous artists dating.

Do entertainment companies have control over what other media reports?

Yes. But only those big, influential & powerful companies can do that, especially those who have partnership w/ other media companies. Those who have the money. Even the government and powerful politicians can control what the media reports. Media practitioners actually have this code of ethics like others have, but there are still people who chose not to follow (journalists who accept bribes!!!). But that’s a different story. You know, money is such a powerful thing. You can’t underestimate money when it comes to businesses. 

Does the company have control over everything involving the artist?

Basically yes, since the artist have to ask permission before doing anything that the company didn’t ask them to do. Like, even if the artist has free time, they still have to ask for permission if they can have a vacation on a certain place, or if they can hang out with this person. There are artists who are stubborn about asking for permissions actually, they sneak in and do what they want. Because of their stubbornness, scandals may arise (it happened for a few artists actually, like what I mentioned earlier). If that artist is very important for the company, we will still keep him/her even if he/she is very stubborn. But of course, we will warn him/her, but we will offer some benefits for them to obey and stay w/ the company. If the artist is not so important, we will have to ask him/her the question: “this or the company/contract/career”. So yeah, company favorites are pretty much treated very differently than the others. 

In conclusion: here’s a famous saying, “truth is stranger than fiction”, w/c is true in so many different cases. Remember that NOT EVERYTHING shown is TRUE especially about celebrities who are under a contract w/ very big companies and agencies. We will never fully know every truth about these artists, especially their true feelings, personalities, relationships, sexuality, and their private lives. As for Baekyeon & Kaistal and others, since the insider info was posted in 2012 and what stated there are actually practiced in the entertainment industry, there’s a high probability that the couples are fake. There’s also a possibility that they’re real and SM just took advantage of it, but it’s less likely. BUT, we will never know if they actually felt something for each other or not. Maybe they did fell in love w/ each other, or they actually have other romantic relationships that the public doesn’t know. Or they’re actually single. Who knows. There are many possibilities but they only know the truth themselves, of course. 

Once again, I have nothing against SM, any people, any ships. The sole purpose of this is to be an eye opener for those who are not familiar w/ the media & ent industry in Asia. I am not claiming that everything I said are 100% evident and true in SM Ent, but everything I said is a common practice in Asia, and is true in my country and our company. What I said is true & are based on my experiences. I didn’t include links, pictures, other proofs because I don’t want to give in my identity, my nationality, and the company I work in. I’m a lazy but busy person, I wouldn’t waste my free time writing this if they were all lies. But I know that there are still people who will chose not to believe, but who am I to force you? Just remember this: the media and entertainment industry is very manipulative, DON’T let media control and fool you. There are many studies, research, and theories regarding the media and its effects on the public (when I was in college, we memorized a lot of theories regarding media and its effects, just search about it if you’re interested, you’ll understand media even more!). And even though media has negative effects on the public, they will still continue with their doings. Because it’s business. It’s the industry. It involves money. 

So yeah, in general, don’t be fooled. Also, there’s nothing wrong w/ questioning the media because you have the right anyway (because remember? media claims to “serve” the public, entertainment companies claim to “do this for the people”). 

Have a good day! Let’s have peace w/ one another :)

Benevolence 7

7/20 The moment so many of you having been waiting for….

Word Count: 5,579

I was walking down one of the streets in Seoul. It was pitch black outside and everything was at a dead silence. No cars on the road, no one was walking around handing out those little business cards. Usually in America I would have been scared and ran the whole way home. However, in Seoul I’ve noticed there wasn’t ever a reason to be scared at least not for me. Obviously ever country has it’s rapist, murderers and robbers but the chances of seeing one while walking the streets on a weeknight was unlikely.

The high heels of the shoes I was wearing scraped across the cracks of the street. I was currently on my way home, I was at school and decided to stay late since that was were all the sewing supplies were at. I lost track of time and now I have to rush home to my boyfriend before he freaks out. I felt a vibration on the pocket of my shirt. Dipping my fingers into the fabric, I pulled out my phone. Speak of the devil, he was calling right now.

“Are you okay? It’s really late Y/N, where are you?”, Baekhyun panicked into the phone.

“I’m fine I’m almost there just a few blocks away.”, I sighed stepping over a small gate to cross to the other side of town.

“Good, what street are you on?”, He asked letting out a breathe of relief. “Let’s stay on the phone till you get here.”

Letting out a another sigh I looked up to see which street I was on, “Wongdang-daero” I didn’t bother reading the numbers since he would know where I was at. “Fine we might as well Mr. Overprotective.”

“Hush I’m protective over you for a reason.”, He snapped playfully “How did designing go today.”

“Like it does any other day, I’m booked with plenty of work to do.”, I gave a light chuckle a sound of a car lightly hitting my ears. The sound of it got louder and louder until it was a mere 60 feet away from me.

The only problem was the car was coming right at me.

It was dark outside so I couldn’t see anyone in the car only the front of the lights my breathing started going at faster pace. I didn’t say anything to Baekhyun since there would be no point he couldn’t do anything. The car wasn’t stopping it was coming closer and closer to me. So, I did the only think I  could do in this situation, run. Turning around I started running as fast as my feet would let me. The phone was no longer pressed to my ear as my feet were running across the concrete. Who the fuck was this, why all of a sudden does someone try to run me off of the sidewalk.

“I love you too.”, I heard a light whisper on the phone it didn’t sound like Baekhyun’s voice which is why I had made the mistake I did. Lifting the phone to my ear I listened to see if anything else was said.

“I’ll see you later.”, That was Baekhyun’s voice did he not notice I stopped talking on the phone.

“What the hell are you doing?”, I panted on the phone causing my running to come to a slow pace. Unfortunately I shouldn’t have done that within a few seconds the car came to an impact with my body. 

The next thing I remember was being on the ground blood covering my hand and my cracked cell phone. I couldn’t move I was unsure of whether or not I had broken any bones since I had never broken one before in my life.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y,N what the hell just happened? Answer me damn it!”, I heard Baekhyun scream on the phone. I heard the car  door shut and footsteps began to inch closer towards me. Turning my heads towards the person who had hit me with the car, I couldn’t make out a face. I had already blacked out.

“I’m done.”

“Baby don’t start this again you aren’t going anywhere you always end up staying.”, He snapped grabbing my arm.

“NO, not this time I’m done you just made me realize how little you care about anything I want. My designing career you use that as a toy to keep me around, I wasn’t even told about this  ‘relationship’ until she had already moved in. Then you just told all of the other members that I’m basically your second option when Taeyeon isn’t around. Do you see what you’re doing, plotting all of this shit out without my consent?”

“You can’t just stop like this, we’ve been through too much together.”, He growled roughly snatching me into his chest. His breathing was at an unbelievable pace but still, I couldn’t let him sway me. At his point there honestly wasn’t a fuck for me to give.

“You, haven’t been through shit I however, have looked like a dumb ass for way too long now Baekhyun. You can’t just continue to mistreat me and expect me to still love you.”  At the last sentence his face went from angry to sad and confused. His grip on my arm loosen letting me step back a few inches.

“You don’t love me anymore?”, His voice was weak, like a child who had gotten caught for drawing on the walls while being scolded.

“What do you think the answer to that is?”, In all honesty I didn’t know the answer myself. Of course your love for someone can always fade overtime if you’re not receiving love from them but, could you completely stop loving them? If you sit down now and think about any good memories you had with them the sides of your lips wouldn’t tug up just a little?

“Oh my god.”, He whispered sobbing a little due to the fact that I was shorter than him a few of his tears fell down on my cheek. “Y/N, I’m so sorry please let’s take a vacation just you and I to patch things up. Don’t ruin our relationship ov-”, I cut up off before he could finish his sentence.. me I was the one to ruin this relationship? This relationship was doomed from the moment it had began. His intentions were made clear to me a long time ago. 

“Don’t fucking try to blame this on me.”, I hissed shoving at his chest. “You brought Taeyeon here, you got back together with her and you have been mistreating me.”

“I know I haven’t been acting the best lately but, it’s because-” he spoke before I cut him off once again. At this point I honestly think Baekhyun has mental issues or something is just fucked up in his dumb ass mind.

“You haven’t been the best lately? Are you fucking kidding me? You wanna know what you said to a couple weeks ago when I asked if you wanted to go to the fashion event with me? You told me you’d rather suck a dick then sit at that event with me. You are so insensitive, the best part is when Taeyeon happen to bring it up you were delighted to go. Once again causing us to all three end up somewhere when you know damn well I don’t like that bitch.”

“Why do you act like that towards her, she’s been nothing but nice towards you.”, He spoke in frustration.

“Of course she has because fucking with my relationship is really being nice sorry Taeyeon, let me get down on my knees for you.”, I laughed sarcastically. “Why do you even want me to stay with you? You’ve used me enough you clearly love Taeyeon more than you’ve ever loved me.”

“That’s not true Y/N, and damn well know it. I’ve always taken good care of you. How did you get that job at Paradise Kiss, because of me. How did you started making your own designs as SM’s top fashion designer, because of me.”, He snapped running out of air in his lungs. “I’ve always made sure you were happy and had the things you wanted.”

Did this son of a bitch really just try and take credit for my hard work?

“First off all, that ‘job’ you got me at SM was to run around doing whatever the fuck the actual designers told me to do. I didn’t get bumped up to top designer until I started sneaking some of my designs into some of your music videos.  That job at Paradise Kiss was given to me when he brought it up you just introduced the two of us.”, I snarled towards him. I couldn’t believe he just tried to take away from my hard work.

“What about the promise you made to your mother.”, He whispered as I was getting ready to turn around. He really tried to pull all the cards out of the deck, using my mother against me.

Turning back around to face him, I watched as more tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He looked so pitiful, was this how used to look like whenever I cried and begged him to make Taeyeon leave? Where had my self respect gone? I couldn’t stop them giggles began to fall from my mouth as I watched a confused look form on his face.

“Excuse me, sorry for that.”, I apologized trying to stop the laughter from coming out of my mouth. Once I was about to stop the giggles I spoke.

“At first, I was so mad at myself for this, I honestly would’ve stayed with you for the rest of my life because of the promise I made to my mother. Hell, it was the only reason I was staying with you.”, I chuckled looking to the ground before back into his eyes.

“But, I realized my mother wouldn’t have wanted me to be going through what she went through just to keep my promise. Although, I’m still mad at myself I won’t punish myself for it any longer. It’s funny because, if I would’ve just continued telling you to fuck off I wouldn’t have gone through any of this.”, I spoke to him. 

It was true, I was truly sorry for breaking my promise to my mother. To anyone else it wouldn’t have been a big deal it’s just the fact that she died knowing I hated her. Yet, she was always proud of the fact that I was still stronger than her, that I still wanted her to continue to get better. That was the only thing she had ever really asked of me, and I wanted it to be my dying gift to her. It’s too late now, I’ve shattered the promise I made to her now however, now that I’ve been punished for it I’m tired. I’m tired of loving him, I’m tired of being held down and mistreated. But, most of all I’m tired of feeling so disgusted with myself.

“So that’s it then?”, He asked quietly wiping the remaining tears leaving his face. “It’s over because of this small petty thing. It’s over because I told them the truth.”

“No, it’s over because it needed to be, our relationship should’ve been over the moment Taeyeon came back into the picture. I was just to stupid to bring myself to break away.”, I said before turning around walking away. 

As I was going towards the stairs I heard his footsteps behind me. I didn’t bother turning around because he didn’t say anything. He was just heading in the same direction as me but, it was still awkward. I didn’t want to feel like this the entire trip. I’m surprised he didn’t hit me with the “Let’s stay friends” bullshit.  

Hitting the corner as I made my way downstairs I heard loud screams. Were the rest of the members arguing with Taeyeon? My thoughts were answered when I heard Kai’s voice shout back at her.

“This is and always will be your fault. Do you even feel bad for what happened?”, His words snarled at her.

Rushing past me Baekhyun dashed towards the kitchen, my nosy ass wanted to know why Kai was so upset so, I followed along. As I was walking behind him I realized that Baekhyun was so wrapped up in Taeyeon. Even after what just happened he couldn’t wait to brush past me to get towards her. I know I shouldn’t feel like this since I broke up with him but, it still hurts me.

“If you weren’t such a fucking dick maybe she’d still be with you?”, I heard Taeyeon’s voice speak as we rushed into the kitchen. When I walked fully into the room there stood Taeyeon with tears rushing down her eyes and kai with his jaw clenched and fists balled up. 

I had seen this look on a man one too many times it was obvious what was about it happen, at least to anyone who saw someone being abused.

Kai was getting ready to hit Taeyeon.

I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped my mouth. Kai out of all people was not one I had expected to want to raise his hand at a woman. As much as I felt Taeyeon deserved to get the shit slapped out of her she didn’t deserve to be abused when she can’t defend herself. Has he done this before?

All eyes in the room shifted towards me, Kai’s look soften a bit when we made eye contact. I didn’t know how to react because I, didn’t know what was going on. Was Kai really getting ready to hit Taeyeon or was he just angry? Looking him up and down once more, I couldn’t deny it. He was getting ready to hit her.

“Kai, don’t you dare do that.”, I whispered harshly towards him, a guilty look flashed on his face before it was quickly covered up with a confused one. 

“Calm down Y/N, we’re just having an argument.”, He mumbled releasing his fists. He was lying, it was so obvious. His hands were trembling and his eyes darted across the room way too quickly. His chest was even still rising with anger.

“Kai you can’t be like that. Not you of all people.”, I muttered shaking my head at him as Taeyeon’s eyes looked over at me trying to understand the situation. Turning my eyes towards Baekhyun, who was already looking at me he came to understand the situation. His eyes full of rage, shifted towards Kai who was still as confused as ever.

“Get the fuck away from her.”, Baekhyun snapped through gritted teeth while charging towards Kai. I’ve never seen Baekhyun this angry before it was worse than when his bipolar ass flipped out on me in that restaurant.  I know I shouldn’t say things like that because at this point Baekhyun could really have a mental condition that I’m not aware of.

“Shut the fuck up Baekhyun.”, Kai spat towards him. “It’s not like she can’t take responsibility for her actions.”

“Stop with your rivalry with her Kai. You’re my band mate and she’s the woman I love.”, Baekhyun spoke aggressively towards him. I mean damn that didn’t hurt me at all.

“I thought that was Y/N, I guess you’d rather be with trash then treat her like a respected woman.”

“What are you doing to Taeyeon now huh?”

“You can’t treat a hoe like a woman.”

Baekhyun’s fist connected with Kai’s jaw causing his had to turn to the side. He didn’t even stumble back before giving Baekhyun a punch.

“Stop Baekhyun.”, Taeyeon tried to butt-in as I gave her the side eye. I wasn’t going to do anything to stop it, this was a battle between two grown men. Who just so happened to be arguing about women. I was honestly surprised with Baekhyun’s strength.

After a few more seconds the fight died down. Both men had each other in a head lock, Baekhyun strained his neck to whisper something in Kai’s ear. Taeyeon and I couldn’t hear what was said but, Kai visibly tensed up as they let each other go. Baekhyun rushed towards Taeyeon asking if she was okay, my gaze shifted towards Kai who watched the two with disgust.

“She loved you, you loved her. You talked about her all the damn time and I was happy for you because you weren’t crying all the time about Taeyeon anymore. I can’t believe you’d just run back to that bitch the moment she asked for you.”, Kai spat at him before walking out the backdoor that lead back to the top of the boat.

I stood there for a minute not knowing what to do, Taeyeon and Baekhyun were still in the room watching me.

“Y/N, we didn’t mea-”, Taeyeon started before I was already walking out the door. I had enough it was hard being in the same room as them. I couldn’t bring myself to speak because there was nothing left to say. Taeyeon couldn’t say anything that would change it because it was already done. I went out the same door Kai did to go after him.

Kai was outside looking at the sea mumbling curses to himself. His hands were balled into fists before he released them burying his face into his palms. I didn’t think I could see him get so mad at a person. As much as I’m angry and both Taeyeon and Baekhyun what could they have done to anger Kai this much? 

 “Kai, what the hell was that?”, I asked trying to be cautious not knowing what might set him off. His head lifted up looking towards me with an irritated look on his face.

“Just… She’s…”, He couldn’t get the sentence out because when our eyes met he looked so guilty. “Look I know what it might’ve looked like and yes we were in a pretty heated argument but still, Y/N I would never lay my hands on a woman.”

I nodded my head showing my understanding. I needed to hear him out because this was so unlike Kai and I only assumed because of the similar signs that I’ve seen previously. I didn’t realize how different the two situations were though. The man that my mom was dating was seriously messed up, he was a narcissist the smallest of things set him off. He put two dents in my mom’s car because she corrected him over a small lie. I couldn’t compare Kai to him.

“What could’ve she said to make you so mad then? Was it something personal?”, I asked keeping voice at a calm steady level.

“Y/N, I can’t tell you why but, Taeyeon is not innocent she’s not nice and sweet either but still, she could never make angry to the point where’d I want to hit her. I was balling my fists because I was waiting on Baekhyun to enter the room. I just didn’t expect you to be with him, are you two still together?”, He asked after explaining what happened.

I scrunched my nose up completely forgetting Baekhyun and I were ever together. There wasn’t enough time to pay attention to it or I just didn’t want to.

“No, I was heading back to the room while he went to the kitchen when I heard Taeyeon yelling, then I remembered you said you’d be waiting in there.”, I spoke sitting down leaning against my arms.

“Do you regret what you did?”, He asked curiously. I’m not stupid he’s trying to change the subject so he doesn’t have to talk about Taeyeon whatever she did must’ve been terrible because the rage was clear in his eyes whenever he spoke of her.

“No, I don’t even think the reality of the situation has hit me. I am mad at myself though.”, I chuckled staring at the sea the best I could from where I was sitting.

“Why? You did nothing wrong.”, Kai suddenly got defensive about the whole situation. “She’s the slut and he’s the dickhead who likes to cheat on his girlfriend.” 

The sides of my lips tugged up, I wonder what his reaction would be if I told him the whole story. He’d probably go back in to start another fight with Baekhyun, but I won’t. The whole thing was over now adding fuel to the fire would be pointless. Do I want Baekhyun to be happy, hell no. I’m just not the type to forgive and forget because, every time I see you after that I’ll get irritated.

“I’m mad for not leaving him sooner, and I kind of just ruined the entire trip. I feel like a failed because I allowed myself to be-”, I cut myself off not wanting to finish and If I said anything else I would’ve told him everything.

“You didn’t ruin anything that bitch did, don’t you ever think about yourself badly. You are not a failure because of someone else’s fuck ups. I’m just pissed he’d treat you like that after how they broke up.”

“How’d they break up?”, I asked, I knew it wasn’t on a good but it clearly wasn’t bad enough for them to get back together.

“Let’s not get into that.”, He blurted out lacing his fingers with mine. “Please let’s just have a good time the rest of the trip.”

“You know I’m going to ask about it later.”, I pointed out talking about the avoided subjects.

“I know”

I didn’t know how I felt, I was lost. How was I supposed to feel after leaving him it’s not like he was really gone anyway. He’s probably having sex with Taeyeon, I knew either way the break up wouldn’t hurt him. I just couldn’t be unhappy anymore. I’m thankful for what Kai said early but still, I was angry with myself. Not because I failed with Baekhyun but because I had failed my mom.

“I’m going back to the room, are you coming?”, I asked him causing our hands to break away from each other.

“No I’ll be down soon, goodnight.”

“Why’d you say goodnight?”, I asked him

“Because, you always fall asleep whenever you go lay down.”, He chuckled.

“Who said I was going to lay down?”, I shot back causing him to full blown laugh.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Kai.”

“Y/N?”, Yixing spoke to me as we unfolded the blankets to get underneath the blankets. Looking up to meet his gaze Yixing’s eyes were filled with concern. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it, Honey?”

Climbing the small set of stairs to get into the large bed, I lie down on the side closet the the other nightstand turning towards him.

“No, I’m fine it’s just crazy how fast everything has changed. I feel bad now because I’ve sort of ruined the trip for everyone.”, I chuckled while he got comfortable scooting closer next to me.

“No you didn’t Taeyeon did, none of us liked her but, Baekhyun insisted she’d come.”, He explained trying to ease the situation. “I just really wished Baekhyun would’ve treated you better.”

“Some things just aren’t meant to be I guess.”, I said trying to lighten the mood when in the truth it wasn’t because we weren’t meant to be it was because we kept fucking up. I don’t believe in that fate bullshit you choose whether or not you want someone in your life.

“Where’s kai?”

“He’s still outside, he’ll be back down here soon.”, I assured him.

“What are you going to do once we get back to Seoul?”, He asked me. In truth I didn’t know, I wasn’t going to stay at his place but, I don’t have the cash to just drop on key money plus rent and most likely gas, water and electric.

“I guess I’ll have to figure something out.”, I muttered closing my eyes wanting to sleep things off. I wasn’t in the right mind set to be thinking about things like this right now.

“No, we’ll figure it out I won’t let you struggle Y/N.”, He whispered as I fell asleep. I know it isn’t right to just ignore my problems but it was better this way, I wanted to focus on something else, anything else. Yixing and Kai seemed to be helping me do that just for now, I think I need them.

“You look sexy.”, Kai grinned biting his lip before his hand connected with my ass.

“Let’s not get your dick ripped off Kai because you want to be a pervert.”, I said with a sharp tone before climbing over the railing to sit on the front of the boat. It was a couple of days after the break up and it was awkward as hell. There was a clear divide on this damn boat. You had the two nobody liked or fucked with at the moment, Baekhyun and Taeyeon. Then you had the rest of the exo members who were in an awkward position from choosing sides. Then you have Yixing, Kai and I who just don’t want to be bothered at all. 

Right now the three of us were standing on deck getting ready to do what I thought was fishing however, Kai had something different in mind.

“Let’s have a threesome.”

Yixing’s head shot up in disgust, while I furrowed my eyebrows. Why is this man so perverted? I didn’t want to ask what happened with Krystal since apparently they were broken up before I had even met Kai.

“No I’m not into that kind of thing.”, Yixing scrunched his nose up. He told me once that he believed everyone out there had a person they could spend the rest of their lives with. 

That was one of things I’d admired the most about him, his loyalty. Let’s be honest here we’re all selfish when it comes to our romantic partners. Even if you aren’t being possessive by saying “You’re mine, you belong to me.” we still expect their romantic attention to only be on us. If your boyfriend gets caught kissing another girl you’d be pissed. If they had sex with another girl that’s a break up. Then if you’re married that’s a whole damn divorce because you expect them to only pay attention to you. What if it was different, would it be okay to cheat on your partner as long as you came back to them? 

“I’ll pass no offense.”, I giggled helping Yixing pull out the chairs. I’ve had enough threesomes with Taeyeon and Baekhyun. Could you even call it that when the focus was always on the two of them.

 Even being in that so called poly relationship I realized those aren’t perfect either. You still want attention and affection, watching one of your partners constantly make love and spend time with the other, while only kissing you and telling you they love you every once in awhile isn’t enough. You want more because we’re selfish in the end our jealously gets to us and… that’s okay.

“Why would that be an offense, I’m a grower not a shower.”, He insisted and I did want to think about the size of Kai’s penis.

“Okay let’s change the subject I do not want to think about the size of your penis Kai.”, I muttered staying closer to the edge of the boat looking over the poles and down at the sea.

“I’m being serious Yixing is decent when soft but I’m telling you, get me hard and I’m huge.”

“Kai that’s enough.”, Yixing muttered disgusted with the current conversation about the size of his penis. I mean I’ve only ever since Baekhyun’s dick and you can’t go of the size of porn stars so, I had no room to judge.

“Remember that stupid scene from the Titanic where Rose was supposedly flying.”, I chuckled remembering the scene since I had one of my feet lifted on the poles looking down at the water.

“Hey, that wasn’t stupid it was romantic.”, Yixing pouted while Kai walked over to where I was standing. He lifted his feet onto the poles hovering over me.

“Come on I’ll show you.”, Kai smirked rubbing on my shoulder. Sighing I lifted my other foot fully on the poles, this just seemed so awkward to me.

“I don’t see the point of this.”, I mumbled Titanic was my favorite movie when I was younger but once I re-watched it as a teenager that bitch, knew she had enough room for him.

“That’s because Kai isn’t doing it properly.”, Yixing chuckled before lifting his feet onto the poles wrapping his arms around Kai’s waist lightly.

“I’m flying.”, Kai shouted right into my ear throwing himself into a fit of giggles.

“I still don’t see the point of this.”, I groaned turning my head towards the two men. Yixing just chuckled while an evil smirk appeared on Kai’s face. His grip around my waist loosened on one arm and tightened on the other.

“This will make it more interesting.”, He chuckled raising his arm lifting my chin towards him causing our lips to meet. I didn’t tense up yet, I still didn’t kiss him back. Still there was no reason for me to push him away. His lips pressed deeper into mine while his nails dug into my chin. After a few moments he pulled away with a large grin plastered on is face. Looking behind him Yixing stood with his cheeks flustered with a hint of irritation in his eyes.

“Don’t just kiss her Kai damn you’re way to comfortable with her.”, He scolded letting go of Kai’s waist gently grabbing my arm helping me back on the boat.

“It was just a kiss.”, Kai chuckled jumping back on board winking at me before laying back across the beach chair he sat in previously. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t try and stick your tongue down her throat.”, Yixing huffed swiping his thumb across my lips to remove any scent of Kai.

“Hey, don’t wipe off my love.”, He shouted playfully slightly lifting himself off of the chair. Yixing wrapped a thin silk like piece of fabric around my waist tying a slight knot before adjusting it.

“What are you doing?”, I asked curiously it’s not like I was wearing a cheeky bathing suit. I was actually wearing a one piece since I still wasn’t sure how accepted bathing suits were in Korea. It didn’t bother me honestly because, I never liked wearing bikinis it just felt like I was walking around in bra and panties.  Still, it didn’t really matter since it’s a new era and things are slowly changing in Korea.

“Oh, don’t think anything of it, I thought the color went well with your swimsuit.”, He smiled a small blush rising on his cheeks before itching the back of my neck.

“He’s marking his territory.”, Kai interrupted the small moment with his comment. “It’s so obvious he might as well piss on you.”, He giggled when an offended gasp came out of Yixing’s mouth. I knew he wasn’t trying to which is why I didn’t get pissed.

If I’m being honest with myself I don’t know how I ended up following my mother’s footsteps. I was well aware of the fact that children who saw their parents being abused could go down the same path so, I desperately tried to make sure that never happened. 

Ever since I was 14 I had this strong desperation of being in control of myself. If someone told me what to do or how to live, even if it benefited me I got so upset. Once my mother was joking and said “You’re mine, I own you.” and it pissed me off. We got into a huge argument about it whether or not she was my mother or guardian I’m in control of myself.  We all are, if you choose to let someone control you then that’s on you but, when someone tries to force control it irks me.

“No, it’s not like that at all.”, Yixing said firmly snapping me out of my thoughts his eyes searching mine for any doubt. I giggled and pinched one of his cheeks smiling in Kai’s direction.

“I know you would never do anything like that.”, I chuckled before fully turning towards Kai who held a smug look on his face. “But you would, wouldn’t you? Now I have to be careful around you because of that little kiss.”, I spoke as Kai got up from the chair once again strolling towards Yixing and I. Once he was a few feet away he draped his arm around my shoulders.

“Come on, it was a joke don’t take away my fun.”, He said with a pout  on his face.

“Don’t get too close.”, Yixing warned standing closer behind Kai and I. I knew what was coming next, Kai is a piece of shit who liked pissing people off.

“Leave us alone aren’t we a thing now Y/N?”, Kai asked me with a playful glint in his eyes causing me to roll mine. 

“Stop being a pervert, Kai.”, I groaned pushing his arm off of me getting ready to snap on him however, his lips connected with mine once again. It was any different from the first kiss Kai was just being an ass.

Except this time when I pulled away Taeyeon and Baekhyun stood there

and he was pissed.


“They first met in 2011 when Baekhyun became an SM Entertainment’s trainee. Since then, they have developed a bond with the things they have in common. They really began to develop serious feelings for each other last year and started dating this February (2014). Baekhyun was outspoken on his fandom for Taeyeon since his trainee period. Taeyeon cared most about Baekhyun out of all the EXO members. She was attracted to his persistence in effort, despite his cute looks. There are rumours that she would sometimes watch him practice whenever he stayed in late. Taeyeon has been a good mentor for Baekhyun as well. They mostly saw each other late at night or at dawn. Dispatch first caught them together in May and the time was a little after 2AM. Most of times, they met in Taeyeon’s car. Since many people know Taeyeon and Baekhyun in Korea, they were very cautious when meeting in the city and were never seen in coffee shops. When they had no schedules, they would make a short driving trip to outskirts of Seoul. ” (x)


Listen guys,

If you follow me you might already know I’m a hardcore Firelight. I have shipped Chanbaek since the day I laid eyes on them but here’s the thing.

I’m not discouraging shippers or trying to sound disloyal to the fandom but there is always a possibility that Baekhyun and Taeyeon are still dating. They were never officially confirmed to have broken up by SM and what happened today is just one of the many ‘baekyeon-coincidences’ exols have noticed over the years.

What I’m trying to say is that I hope if they do turn out to still be dating, people don’t bash them like they did last time. I hope they will be at least left alone, if not supported because you never know about their life struggles and their love story. Just like every other couple they might have been through so much just to be able to stay together. They deserve to be allowed to live their lives however and with whomever they choose to just like you would want to.

I really hope you understand me. Thank you for reading this. Have a nice day! ❤

Benevolence 5

5/20 The unstable couple goes fishing! There’s a argument flashback towards the end. This chapter is finally here enjoy

Word Count:5,083

The bell rung letting me know someone had walked into the store. I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to work at Parakiss, a clothing store ran by my favorite designer Johji Koizumi. Baekhyun had caused us to meet by ‘accident’ leading to him asking me to run Parakiss in Korea while he was away in Paris. I was grateful in every way possible it’s bittersweet since Baekhyun uses it often to bribe me.

“Hi welcome to Parakiss.”, I greeted finally removing my eyes from the sketchbook I was looking at, my eyes landed on Yixing. He had sunglasses and a mask on but still, I knew it was him.

“Every time I walked into this store it’s completely different.” he laughed turning the open sign to the closed side. I had almost forgotten that Yixing and I planned to meet today, we needed to talk about the way Baekhyun had been acting lately. In all honestly I was surprised articles hadn’t shown up when blew up on me in that restaurant on my birthday. Once again, Baekhyun got things to go exactly his way.

“You know you’re not supposed to just open and close the store whenever you please.”, I giggle walking around the counter to greet him properly. Yixing would often swing by Parakiss, whenever he was on his way to practice. Before Taeyeon came back into the picture Baekhyun would often come too, now he’s mostly with her at SM.

“I like it better when no one’s in the shop with us.”, He chuckled sitting on the love seat running his fingers through some fabric. I took the remaining seat next to him and lifted my feet under my legs.

“So what’s up.”, I asked only half paying attention because I have 6 different outfits I need to make within 2 weeks. When I turned in the dresses Lisa and I made she assigned us 2 more design projects meaning I’ll be spending more time with Lisa. After the other day I don’t even know how I feel about her, especially not after hearing her conversation. It was painfully obvious that she was the other woman trying to play victim.

“I wanted to talk to you about Baekhyun.”, He said softly not knowing my reaction. “I can tell something is going on with the two of you.” Yixing was always the type to notice the absolute smallest details so I wasn’t surprised when I couldn’t slip this one past him. We honestly hadn’t been friends long because Baekhyun and I were so reserved with our relationship. I had only been friends with Yixing maybe 6 weeks before Taeyeon came back into the picture. I had met all of the members of EXO since I worked at SM and made the outfits for their Lotto music video, but, I never tried to become close with any of them.

“I wanted to talk to you about him too, I know you don’t mean it by anything when you get close to me yet, Baekhyun has been losing his shit over the smallest of things lately.”, I chuckled looking away from his strong gaze yes, I found Yixing attractive but, that didn’t mean I was romantically interested in him. I guess I was raised to be loyal to the ones you truly love, now when it comes to other men yeah I’m attracted still I never think of them romantically.

“I know, that’s what I wanted to talk about he blew up on me for telling you about the trip without telling him. I didn’t even think he was going to invite you since he invited Taeyeon to come.”, He started.. invited I was under the impression that the company happened to have her tag along. “I know he loves you though, that’s probably why he keeps blowing up on us. His heart is in a good place.”

Whatever, if his heart was in a good place he wouldn’t be thinking about how he needs to fuck two girls more than one.

“Yeah I know, it’s relieving in a sense knowing how much cares.”, I lied resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

“Kai was getting worried too we love you Y/N, just want to make sure everything’s alright.”, He smiled at me, Kai it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen Kai. He was the other member that I had gotten close with however, he was always in a bitchy mood towards Baekhyun so I didn’t see him much.

“Whatever, go get me some food.”, I giggled standing back up to go behind the counter. Yixing got up as well to head back out the door.

 “Spicy rice cake?”, He asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”,I muttered “Make sure to flip the sign on your way out.”

“I’m just going to end up flipping it back when I come back.”, He laughed walking out. I just shook my head as I watched him walk out of the door.

Three days have passed since I’ve seen Yixing, I would see him and the rest of the members today. I was currently packing the rest of the things while those two pieces of  shit were in the shower. Surprisingly Baekhyun actually invited me in however, once again I declined him. I’ve been turning him down for sex a lot these days, unless I was really horny he wasn’t getting any from me. Taeyeon’s obnoxious moans could be heard all the way from the bathroom, trying my best to ignore it I stuffed the last couple t-shirts in my bag.

“You’re wearing those?”, I heard someone scoff behind, turning around to see Baekhyun naked with Taeyeon not far behind. He was purposely walking around naked, to get some type of reaction out of me. I couldn’t be bothered with him at this point.

“Yes I am, we’re going fishing on a boat it’s not fucking fashion week.”, I replied harshly zipping the rest of my items in a pocket on my bag. Baekhyun, just needed to stop talking honestly half the shit that come out of his mouth made zero sense. As I was getting ready to throw my bag over my shoulder I felt his arms wrap around my waist. Pulling my body closer to his body I felt his still semi-hard dick press against me. 

“No need to get upset about it baby, you seem so irritated lately are you on your period? Is that why you never wanted to have sex, it’s be awhile since we’ve played.”, He whispered into my ear lips trailing down my neck. “I miss you”

“Stop, we have to leave in a minute-”, before I could finish my sentence his hand was going down my panties dipping into my core. I gasped getting ready to shove him away, but, his grip on me was too tight and his fingers were already inside of me moving around.

“You’re not on your period so what’s the problem baby?”, He asked removing his fingers showing me that there was no blood before sticking them inside of his mouth. This stupid piece of shit has no respect for boundaries, he was going to finger me on my period! I think BDSM is hot and all but not fucking period sex.

“Get the fuck away from me Baekhyun.”, I snapped clearly disgusted by what he just tried to do. When the fuck are the rest of the guys going to get here? We had to drive at least an hour until we got the boats. Taeyeon rolled her eyes and shoved at Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Stop it Honey, let’s go downstairs.”, She spoke looking at him in a loving way. That bitch. She was giving him the ‘won’t you do anything for me’ look. Of course Baekhyun just had to do whatever the fuck she said.

“We’ll finish this conversation later okay Baby?”, He asked me while grabbing the clothes Taeyeon had handed him. He makes me fucking sick, doing whatever the fuck she wanted him too.

“Whatever.”, I muttered before lifting my hand showing Taeyeon my middle finger. She’s been so up Baekhyun’s ass lately it’s annoying. “Go downstairs I’ll be ready in a minute.”

“Y/N, be nice.”, Baekhyun growled as he slipped on some boxers before heading downstairs with the rest of his clothes. After finishing packing my things I went downstairs just to see that they weren’t even there. Sighing I went all the way down to the parking lot to see them along with the rest of EXO.

“Hey Y/N.”, Chen and the others greeted.

“It’s been a while princess.”, I heard Kai chuckle before pressing his lips against my forehead.

“Don’t fucking kiss her.”, Baekhyun scoffed roughly shoving me behind him bumping into Taeyeon.

“Don’t be so rough Baekhyun.”, Yixing snapped at him furrowing his eyebrows before giving me a small smile. “We have to leave soon are you okay with riding with me and Kai?” Switching my gaze over to Baekhyun who tried to look innocent in this situation.

“Am I not riding with you?”, I asked faking confusion, this asshole purposly piled up all of their shit in the backseat, even so I’m his girlfriend yet once again he’s choosing Taeyeon over me.

“There’s no room Babe and I want Taeyeon to ride with me we have some things to talk about nothing serious you know you can trust me.”, Baekhyun fake kindness as the others all shuffled into their cars.

“Why wouldn’t you want to ride with me?”, I asked Baekhyun a little pissed off. I hope he wasn’t stupid enough to think his band mates wouldn’t notice the fact that he was in a car for an hour alone with his ex girlfriend instead of his current one.

“There’s more than enough room for you in the car Y/N. We can always move some of the stuff ”, Taeyeon looked at me with pleading eyes not to start anything.

“No, I’ll go with Kai and Yixing I’d rather not go with you two and I haven’t hung out with them in a while anyway.”, I snarled at them watching Baekhyun’s eyes go dark. I was over the entire situation within a matter of seconds. Baekhyun being the dumbass he was didn’t realize he was leaving me alone with Yixing for a one when it’s been clear he doesn’t like me around him alone. Kai has been eyeing Baekhyun and Taeyeon funny since I came outside he clearly has a problem.

“Don’t wait up you know I drive slow.”, Yixing yelled to the others as he opened the backdoor for me.

“Come with us Y/N”, Baekhyun spoke lowly right as I was sitting down in the backseat.

“No, I’m fine here with them.”, I smirked before laying all the way down on the seats, I haven’t been getting much sleep lately so I was going to take advantage of the free sleep time.

“Goodnight sleeping beauty.”, Kai chuckled sarcastically getting into the passenger seat when Yixing started the car.

“Shut the fuck up Kai.”, I yawned getting comfortable into the seats.

“We’ll problably have to share a room is that okay?”, Yixing asked looking back at me.

“Yeah that’s cool.”

“Great.”, He muttered before pulling off causing me to fall into a deep sleep.

Kai carried my bags along with his as Yixing had his hand on my lower back. I’m pretty sure we were the last three ones to get on the boat since all of their cars were parked. Yixing pressed a button alerting the captain that the last three passengers were now on the boat. The boat shifted as little as it got further away from shore.

“Let’s go see which room they left us to settle with.”, Kai mumbled annoyed. Letting my thoughts sink in I wondered why Baekhyun didn’t even check on me once. All of these things he was doing made it easier and easier to hate him yet, sometimes it easier to love someone than to hate them.

“It can’t be that bad we’ll be here.”, Yixing tried to lift up the mood as a chuckled at his sorry ass attempt. 

“You tried Yixing, you tried.”, I cooed walking ahead of them both to go see which rooms we had gotten. I hope Baekhyun hadn’t chosen a room with Taeyeon, not only would that make me look stupid it would make things so obvious at that point. However, knowing him the deed had already been done still, I wouldn’t let him ruin this for me I loved the sea. We walked down three hallways before we found our room. Opening the door so Kai could stumble in with our things we entered the room. Shit, I wasn’t expecting this it was a nice suite.

Kai threw our bags on the floor and landed on the red love seat with a loud sigh. Yixing gently put his bag beside one of the beds, before sprawling his body across the floor. Sitting next to him criss-cross applesauce I questioned him.

“All of that mattress for you to lay on and you still choose the floor?”

“The floor actually feels better on my hip.”, He chuckled turning to gaze at me with a smile. In front of us I could hear Kai grumbling curses.

“I need to get my damn hip checked out from carrying all of those bags.”, He grumbled rolling onto the floor a couple feet away from us. Yixing shook his head at the his younger member before rolling on his stomach head facing away from both of us.

“Seriously Y/N, why’d you have to bring so much shit?”, He complained.

“First of all Kai, I didn’t ask you to carry it second, I brought one  bag while you brought 3 suitcases.”, I scoffed at him hearing Yixing let out a chuckle.

“Well excuse me for being a gentlemen the least you could do is kiss me. I’d ask to make love but, that can’t wait until later tonight.”, He winked at me while Yixing scowled at him.

“Don’t talk about her like that.”, He scolded the younger man while Kai just rolled his eyes.

“You couldn’t pay me to fuck you Kai.”, I giggle pushing my legs out laying on my back.

“Fine, then kiss me.”

“Go away little boy.”

“Come on kiss me.’, Kai giggled trying to climb on top of me. I don’t know what was going on but he wasn’t drunk or anything. Thankful Yixing gripped his hand around my ankle and pulled me towards him while Kai fell into a fit of laughter.

“Sorry Kai, I’d only kiss you if your were GD.”, I giggle sitting up on Yixing’s lap.

“What does GD have that I don’t?”, He fake cried burring his face into my knee.

“For starters talent.”, I retorted sarcastically while a gasp could be heard coming from Kai’s lips throwing the three of us into hysterical laughter.

“Come on guys I have something special to announce.”, Baekhyun grinned, he was jealous I could tell his grin was stiff. I didn’t know what he saw exactly but still, it didn’t really matter Baekhyun makes everything a big deal.

“Can’t you see we’re busy.”, Kai snapped at him stopping his laughter and wiping the smile off of his face. He whole mood just did a 180 as soon as Baekhyun had walked into the room.

“Watch your mouth kid, Y/N is the one I really want to come out anyways.”, He snapped back at kai. Yixing had dropped his hand from around my shoulder and gave Baekhyun a cold stare.

“It is pretty rude to just interrupt us like that Baekhyun, you never wanted us bothering you when Taeyeon was around at the studio.”, Yixing mumbled standing up offering his hand out to me.

“It’s pretty rude of you to be all over my damn girlfriend Yixing.”, Baekhyun snapped but, of course Kai couldn’t let that one go.

“It’s pretty rude of you to be with your ex girlfriend when your much better current girlfriend is here right now.”, Kai clapped back. “Besides can’t your little announcement wait until tomorrow?”

“Let’s just go now before he starts acting like a baby.”, I muttered taking Yixing’s hand lifting myself off of the ground.

As the four of us walked out of the the deck I saw the rest of EXO and Taeyeon standing there.

“Sorry it took so long they decided to be assholes today.”, Baekhyun chuckled sarcastically walking over to Taeyeon wrapping an arm around her shoulder. What the fuck is thinking?

“Taeyeon wasn’t invited to this trip by mistake.”, He started off while the rest of us stood beneath him and Taeyeon waiting for his next words. What the hell was he getting into? The way they were standing next to each made me feel extremely uncomfortable. It wasn’t out of jealously it was the way Taeyeon was acting, she was clinging to him like her life depended on it. She was never really open to PDA, since she liked to keep her relationships private but for some reason lately she’s been really touchy. “For awhile now I’ve known that my heart just wasn’t in the right place.”, He continued his little speech while I narrowed my eyes locking with his. No..He couldn’t be doing what I thought he was doing he knows damn well I’m not okay with this.

“No absolutely fucking not.”, I spat at him shoving against his chest. Baekhyun had just asked me to make the ‘relationship’ with him and Taeyeon public. I’m not okay with that, this isn’t even a relationship more like an arrangement. The relationship Baekhyun and I had wasn’t even public so why would I be comfortable with them going public for the second time?

“No Baby, it’s not like that I want to tell the world that you’re both my girls.”, He tried to reason with me.

“Stop just stop, I’m not okay with any of this you said you’d keep us separate. Why the hell would you bring this bullshit out public when you know I’m not even okay with Taeyeon being around.”, I shouted  slamming my hand on the table.

“That’s enough Y/N, I’ve told you one too many times that I’m not just yours anymore. You are mine and so is Taeyeon, you two belong to me while I belong to the both of you. You’re being so insensitive towards Taeyeon and it’s making her feel really bad about herself Y/N”

“I mean shit I’d, feel bad about myself too If I broke up with my ex just squeeze my way back into his life when I was fully aware he had a girlfriend. You see the thing is I don’t think people are sluts, or whores because they sleep with a bunch of different people. I think they’re a whore when they do just that knowing that someone else is being hurt by their actions.”, As soon as the last word left my lips I heard glass falling down with a bang shattering onto the ground. Both of our eyes shifted towards the noise, Taeyeon was crouched down trying to pick up the glass cup she had just broken. 

“Taeyeon, did you hear what she said? Don’t pick that up you’ll hurt yourself.”, He spoke softly towards her, the look in his eyes was filled with love and concern. 

Her head was to the ground and her hands had stopped trying to pick up the pieces of glass, instead, they balled into small fists.

“Y/N.”, She spoke firmly.

“Please just mind your own business for once.”, I groaned getting ready to finish my conversation with Baekhyun. I seriously couldn’t even argue with him without her being there it’s so damn annoying. 

“I’ve had it with your disrespect, I’m your senior and I demand to be treated as so, you and Baekhyun are both younger than me meaning you are not as wise. Baekhyun and I made the decision together to bring out our relationship public two versus one Y/N.”, She tried to threaten me, keyword tried. I respect people who respect me. I usually have no problem whatsoever respect my seniors because they’ve always given me proper respect back.

Was I really supposed to believe that Baekhyun fell back in love with her out of nowhere? They’ve had to have had spent time together or something because I work at SM Taeyeon wasn’t even in the building the time we got together, she was on hiatus like she is now. Either Taeyeon or Baekhyun had initiated this entire thing to start over again, besides, I met Taeyeon to get her measurements for her failed comebacks with Girl’s Generation. She knew I was his girlfriend yet smiled in my face like she wasn’t fucking around with him behind my back.

“At the end of the day for whatever dumb reason Baekhyun still wants me here. I’m already five seconds from slapping the shit out of you and walking out this door for good but, I can’t risk my career. The point is, I’m not okay with it and if Baekhyun still wants me here then he won’t be either.”, My glare went from her to him.

“Y/N, we can’t run from this forever I’ll give you some time but, I want our relationship to go public sometime, you can’t run from this forever accept the fact that Taeyeon is now in our relationship. I expect you to apologize to her for your harsh words.”, His voice low and steady.. He was pissed.

“I expected almost what a year ago, to still love you but things change don’t they?”, I spat back knowing exactly what I had said. The tension in the room had died and Baekhyun’s face went from stern and angry to hurt, desperate and confused.

Taeyeon’s jaw had tightened and tears began to fill to the brim in her eyes. What the hell was she going to start crying for, I’m the one who is really not happy in this relationship. Taeyeon has Baekhyun back and Baekhyun has Taeyeon back and me on the side when he wants to pretend to be interested in me. I had a lying manipulative ‘boyfriend’ with his ex girlfriend who I’m 100% positive that he cheated on me with. Due to that dumbass mistake I made when I was 18, I have no other choice but to stay in this relationship. My dream of becoming a designer is the only thing I have left anymore. As I turned my heel to go up the stairs I stopped to say one last thing.

“Don’t even think about trying to do it behind my back like you did this entire so called relationship. Knowing the both of you, you’d try to sneak and do it giving me no other choice but to accept, but, I’m telling you now if you do that Baekhyun you’ll regret it.”, I spoke clearly before heading up the stairs..

But here we are now, the two of them up there while I’m down here once again going behind my back. However, I wasn’t going to even try and stop them because if he did this Baekhyun’s really going to prove his respect for me against hers. At this point I just waiting until Baekhyun decided to get tired of me, then I’ll live in a big house making clothes and die alone. That’s exactly what I wanted at this point, to be alone. Taeyeon’s eyes flickered over to mine while her grip on Baekhyun’s shoulder tightened. This bitch knew exactly what the fuck she was doing yet, I was enjoying it.

“Y/n and I have been fighting a lot like I told you guys before, and Taeyeon has been filling up the void when I need her to. My heart isn’t with Y/N anymore, it’s with Taeyeon.”, He spoke looking me directly in the eye the entire time. Bingo, he said exactly what I knew he was going to say making me look like the bad one. I had almost forgotten he said this in front of the rest of EXO. 

“Was this really the way to do things Baekhyun? By the looks of it Y/N, didn’t even know you were going to say this you’ve always been so selfish Baekhyun.”, Yixing spat out giving Baekhyun a cold stare, he looked so upset.

“No, it’s not like that Y/N, is still very much in the picture I’m just seeking other options. We’re on a break.”, He  tried to justify making himself sound like a straight asshole. I mean shit you could’ve given me a little more respect ‘other options’ really, more like I’m a second option if he ever gets tired of Taeyeon.

“No we’re not.”, I deadpanned, I could tell by the look in his eye Baekhyun wanted me to tell them that we were in a poly relationship his little plan is going to backfire on him. He just gave me a reason to get away from him, honestly I am a little hurt. Why is it that Taeyeon and Baekhyun make all of these decisions behind my back? I had no say in anything at all it’s like he doesn’t even care if I have feelings or not. I felt a hand on my lower back, turning towards the person Yixing was giving me a worried gaze.

“What do you mean?”, He asked voice filled with concern while Suho gently tried to get Yixing to calm down. Kai was upset as well, you could see it written all over his face. Kai was never okay with Taeyeon being in the picture and he often yelled at Baekhyun whenever he was rude to me. The next few words that come out of my mouth are ones that I’ve wanted to say for a long time.

“It means I’m done once again, Taeyeon, you got exactly what you wanted the both of you did.”, I laughed harshly feeling Kai wrap a firm grip around my shoulder damn it, he was pissed.

“What the fuck did you do Baekhyun getting back together with that bitch ! Did you  forget what happened when she first broke up with you? You cried like a punk for days Baekhyun and now you repeating the same steps”, Kai spat the words towards the two of the them filling the words up with hatred. Something obviously had to have happened for Kai to be this upset over someone else’s relationship.

“It’s not like that Kai, I was feeling unloved from Baekhyun and decided to break up with him now he’s feeling the same way I did with her.”, Taeyeon decided to speak up. This stupid bitch just doesn’t know when to stop does she? I was getting ready to snap on her when Yixing beat me to it.

“Maybe that was Baekhyun’s fault did you even think to consider Y/N’s feelings in this? You didn’t because both of you are so insensitive, then you tried to push all of the blame on Y/N like this is her fault. If Baekhyun was a real man and really cared about her, he would’ve spoke to her about before running his sorry ass back to you.”, He shouted stepping away from me and more towards them. Why were they getting so angry about this I don’t understand? This is the second time I’ve seen Yixing stepping out of his character to shout at a woman.

“Either way it doesn’t change the fact that Baekhyun’s a dumbass for throwing Y/N out just because she isn’t sucking his dick whenever he wants it or the fact that Taeyeon is still a whore.”, Kai growled pulling me closer towards him, even though he was angry he was rubbing my shoulder  gently letting me know he was there. I didn’t like the fact that they were pushing themselves into I didn’t want this to affect their relationship with Baekhyun. However, at this point you can clearly tell that Kai has had his blood boiling towards Baekhyun for some time now.

“Stop, just stop, I don’t even care anymore.”, I chuckled harshly surprising everyone on the boat. 

“I want to talk to her in private.”, Baekhyun stated I could see the look in his eyes it’s the same look he gives me whenever I even mention anything about another male, he was scared. He was jealous, scared, and desperate  for me not to leave.

“Go it’s not going to change anything my mind is set.”, I spoke to the rest of them. “Especially you, just being in this room with you makes me sick to my stomach so hurry the fuck up.”, I glared at Taeyeon as she gave me an unfamiliar look of pity. 

“Even if she takes I’m back I won’t allow them to be in the same room alone after this. Baekhyun you really need to get your shit together.”, Chen said throwing him a look of disgust. 

“Let’s go Taeyeon, I need to have a word with you anyways.”, Suho spoke turning around already leading the rest of the members out.

“Don’t fucking say anything rude to her Suho!”, Baekhyun shouted before she began walking out with them our eyes locking the entire time. “I don’t care what any of you say to me but, I love her and I won’t allow the disrespect towards her.”

“Stop Baekhyun I’m a grown woman I can handle myself.”, Taeyeon responded walking off in front of Suho.

“Can’t handle yourself whenever you’re walking around riding dick.”, Kai blew under his breath causing me to stifle a giggle.

“Kai enough! Do not speak to her like that.”, Baekhyun threatened. “Or you’ll regret it.”

“We’ll be waiting for you in the my room.”, Yixing whispered before walking off.

“I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen.”, Kai spoke towards Baekhyun making his words sound like a threat.

They were gone now it was the two of us face to face, the way it should’ve been from the start. I’ve given up so much for him already and he’s done nothing for me, not only that I’m giving up something so important by leaving him.

“What the hell is your problem.”, He whispered taking a step towards me. “You did  the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do, us breaking up really?”

I small smirked tugged at my lips before I repeated the words I had said earlier.

“I’m done.”