I think you should be selfish with the solitude you have now. Use it to your advantage get away, leave your current environment and seek new getaways. You are so beautiful. Women are such treasures and not many men are blessed with knowledge of our beauty and strength or the ability to be delicate with our frailty, so they trample all over us time and time again. Thus destroying the immense love we carried in hearts, wearing it down to nothing but ice and bone.