BUT HE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

Violence, Abusers, and Protest

My grandfather was a generally peaceful man. He was a gardener, an EMT, a town selectman, and an all around fantastic person. He would give a friend - or a stranger - the shirt off his back if someone needed it. He also taught me some of the most important lessons I ever learned about violence, and why it needs to exist.


When I was five, my grandfather and grandmother discovered that my rear end and lower back were covered in purple striped bruises and wheals. They asked me why, and I told them that Tom, who was at that time my stepfather, had punished me. I don’t remember what he was punishing me for, but I remember the looks on their faces. 

When my mother and stepfather arrived, my grandmother took my mother into the other room. Then my grandfather took my stepfather into the hallway. He was out of my eye line, but I saw through the crack in the door on the hinge side. He slammed my stepfather against the wall so hard that the sheet rock buckled, and told him in low terms that if he ever touched me again they would never find his body. 

I absolutely believed that he would kill my stepfather, and I also believed that someone in the world thought my safety was worth killing for. 

In the next few years, he gave me a few important tips and pointers for dealing with abusers and bullies. He taught me that if someone is bringing violence to you, give it back to them as harshly as you can so they know that the only response they get is pain. He taught me that guns are used as scare tactics, and if you aren’t willing to accept responsibility for mortally wounding someone, you should never own one. He told me that if I ever had a gun aimed at me, I should accept the possibility of being shot and rush the person, or run away in a zig-zag so they couldn’t pick me off. He taught me how to break someone’s knee, how to hold a knife, and how to tell if someone is holding a gun with intent to kill. He was absolutely right, and he was one of the most peaceful people I’ve ever met. He was never, to my knowledge, violent with anyone who didn’t threaten him or his family. Even those who had, he gave chances to, like my first stepfather. 

When I was fourteen, a friend of mine was stalked by a mutual acquaintance. I was by far younger than anyone else in the social crowd; he was in his mid twenties, and the object of his “affection” was as well. Years before we had a term for “Nice Guy” bullshit, he did it all. He showed up at her house, he noted her comings and goings, he observed who she spent time with, and claimed that her niceness toward him was a sign that they were actually in a relationship.

This came to a head at a LARP event at the old NERO Ware site. He had been following her around, and felt that I was responsible for increased pressure from our mutual friends to leave her alone. He confronted me, her, and a handful of other friends in a private room and demanded that we stop saying nasty things about him. Two of our mutual friends countered and demanded that he leave the woman he was stalking alone. 

Stalker-man threw a punch. Now, he said in the aftermath that he was aiming for the man who had confronted him, but he was looking at me when he did it. He had identified me as the agent of his problems and the person who had “turned everyone against him.” His eyes were on mine when the punch landed. He hit me hard enough to knock me clean off my feet and I slammed my head into a steel bedpost on the way down.

When I shook off the stunned confusion, I saw that two of our friends had tackled him. I learned that one had immediately grabbed him, and the other had rabbit-punched him in the face. I had a black eye around one eyebrow and inner socket, and he was bleeding from his lip. 

At that time in my life, unbeknownst to anyone in the room, I was struggling with the fact that I had been molested repeatedly by someone who my mother had recently broken up with. He was gone, but I felt conflicted and worthless and in pain. I was still struggling, but I knew in that moment that I had a friend in the world who rabbit-punched a man for hitting me, and I felt a little more whole.

Later that year, I was bullied by a girl in my school. She took special joy in tormenting me during class, in attacking me in the hallways, in spreading lies and asserting things about me that were made up. She began following me to my locker, and while I watched the clock tick down, she would wait for me to open it and try to slam my hand in it. She succeeded a few times. I attempted to talk to counselors and teachers. No one did anything. Talking to them made it worse, since they turned and talked to her and she called me a “tattle” for doing it. I followed the system, and it didn’t work. 

I remembered my friend socking someone in the face when he hit me. I recalled what my grandfather had taught me, and decided that the next time she tried, I would make sure it was the last. I slammed the door into her face, then shut her head in the base of my locker, warping the aluminum so badly that my locker no longer worked. She never bothered me again. 

Violence is always a potential answer to a problem. I believe it should be a last answer - everything my grandfather taught me before his death last year had focused on that. He hadn’t built a bully or taught me to seek out violence; he taught me how to respond to it.

I’ve heard a lot of people talk recently about how, after the recent Nazi-punching incident, we are in more danger because they will escalate. That we will now see more violence and be under more threat because of it. I reject that. We are already under threat. We are already being attacked. We are being stripped of our rights, we are seeing our loved ones and our family reduced to “barely human” or equated with monsters because they are different. 

To say that we are at more risk now than we were before a Nazi got punched in the face is to claim that abusers only hurt you if you fight back. Nazis didn’t need a reason to want to hurt people whom they have already called inhuman, base, monsters, thugs, retards, worthless, damaging to the gene pool, and worthy only of being removed from the world. They were already on board. The only difference that comes from fighting back is the intimate knowledge that we will not put up with their shit.

And I’m just fine with that.

anyone else still sometimes catch themselves thinking about how after all those years of idolizing dave strider and after all that time in the void session wondering and anticipating and nervously awaiting this theoretical possibility that he might get the chance to meet him, dirk finally fucking sits down with dave one on one hours from the final battle and like wow fucking surprise motherfucker

he gets to find out his literal worst fears were ACTUALLY true! the version of him that dave knew actually did, in fact, do his level best to ruin dave’s life and was an abusive, toxic influence from day one and throughout to the point where dave can’t even look at him without flinching! 

this coming at a time when dirk is already horrendously low on himself, his relationship with Jake literally just blew up like 3 hours ago and if the AR thing went down even remotely the same way there was also that and holy hell dude what a time to be informed about the existence of Bro Strider. Dirk is sitting there thinking he was a toxic influence to Jake from moment one and probably all of his friends the whole time and here Dave is confirming everything from a parallel perspective? 

you can just see this horrible gut clenching moment when this utterly defeated Dirk just meekly accepts that this other version of himself is reflective of his true innermost self and has justifiably ruined any chance he ever had of impressing or even knowing Dave

– and then you see Dave just immediately lift it off him, even get kinda angry at him for having the audacity to even try accepting it that way, you can FEEL Dave’s fucking confusion because he went in guns blazing expecting a confrontation with someone as impossible and inscrutable as Bro was. Dave went in expecting to punch a brick wall and get nowhere, and instead he got Dirk “you’re absolutely right and I’m so fucking sorry I ruined your life” Strider 

and from Dirk’s pov, listening to this, watching this, having this realization that this dave isn’t an untouchable, aloof, mysterious and mythical heroic figure of legend at all, but that only makes him MORE worthy of idolization in all the ways that genuinely matter – and simultaneously thinking that he’s already sabotaged himself out of the chance to know him at all.

It’s like, god, you know those hyperrealistic nightmares people have sometimes that are so fucking scary because they’re indistinguishable from real life, the ones where after you wake up it takes a long time for the understanding that it was actually just a dream to hit you and then you want to cry with relief? 

For Dirk this had to have been so much like that, the whiplash between being 100% sure that Dave was just going to say what he needed to say and then never speak to him again (and knowing Dirk would have considered it completely justified and never questioned his right to do so jesus christ) followed IMMEDIATELY by Dave just being like no you don’t get it, THIS you, this version of you, what I am looking for deep down in my fucking SOUL is for this you that you are right now to be a person that I can have in my life to tell me that I’m okay, that you’re okay, that WE’RE okay – and after fifteen minutes talking to you I can already immediately tell that you ARE that person. 

Dirk’s friends were always only interested in denying the possibility that Dirk could ever truly become a monster, they could never have possibly understood just how DARK Dirk is at his most self destructive, and that’s part of why their reassurances were always hollow for him – they didn’t GET IT, right, they never could have followed the rabbit hole all the way down, so what did they know? But this guy, Dave Strider, has literally seen Dirk at his worst, has lived through the actual reality of the worst things living inside the full-picture potential of Dirk Strider, has dealt with that to great personal detriment and is fucking STILL sitting here telling him “I can tell that you are different, I can tell that you are better, and I am willing to trust you and help you to become a better person than the guy I knew because at the end of the fucking day, you are too important to me to give up on”

like yeah confronting dirk with all of that was what dave needed absolutely but BEING confronted and ultimately forgiven by dave was what dirk needed too, just as much

in conclusion homestuck is good

Au where Jack didn’t go to Samwell and after a few years and a cup with the Falconers he gets traded to a team in Canada, so now he lives around 2-3 hours from his parents.

Meanwhile Bitty graduates and is hired by Alicia Zimmermann to be her assistant, partly because he was a Samwell alumni but also because he was super sweet and brought a pie to the interview.

Bob tried to poach him within a week, but Bitty thought he was only joking. So did a lot of the retired hockey players once they tasted the pies including Mario. Alicia doesn’t allow Bitty alone with Bob or his friends anymore.

Which is why she made Jack promise to stick to him like glue during a charity event she won’t be able to attend, but that Bitty will be at.

“Jack, Eric is the most efficient and pleasant assistant I’ve ever had. He’s also charming, hard working and discreet, and when I had the flu last month he made me go home to rest and brought me chicken soup on his day off. If your dad or his friends try to take him from me again, I can’t be responsibly for my actions.“

This is how Jack somehow ends up playing interference and trying to distract Bitty from talking to anybody at the charity event.

And wow ok this isn’t exactly unpleasant and Bitty is gorgeous and funny, and played hockey.

Bitty is in the middle of trying to explain how increasing his social media would be beneficial, and how he could use his platform for good when Jack sort of blurts out.

"Do you wanna get coffee?”

And Bitty paused, looks at him and smiles, “sure! I’d be happy to go over everything with you again over coffee.”

Jack is too flustered to explain that was a very lame attempt to ask him out, so he goes along with the work orientated coffee situation with the intention of maybe asking him properly afterwards.

Of course, then shenanigans occur where Alicia thinks Jack is now trying to steal Bitty to be his assistant and casually invites herself over for the coffee, so obvs Jack doesn’t ask Bitty then.

“I trusted you,” she says very dramatically when he comes over for dinner that week. “How could you be trying to take my assistant?”

“I am not trying to offer him a job,” Jack groans dramatically, “I’m trying to ask him out!”

Alicia paused, considers this and does a complete 180.

“Jack! This is an amazing idea! I fully support this, oh I can’t believe I crashed your date.”

“It wasn’t a date,” mumbles Jack.

“Ok, we need a plan. You need to woo Eric, he’d be such a wonderful son in law.”

“Maman!”

Meanwhile Bob is quietly watching this whole exchange and making his own plan. He absolutely supports Jack’s interest in Bitty, and Alicia is right he’d be a wonderful son in law.

But also Bob does need an assistant since he can’t seem to keep one for more than 2 months at a time, so he’s now planning to steal Bitty while his wife is distracted playing matchmaker.

Bitty had no idea what’s going on, he just wants to continue working for Alicia since she’s so nice and amazing, save enough money to open his own bakery and try not to let in on the fact he has a massive crush on Jack.

I mean, how unprofessional would dating the boss son would look!?

No, he’s going to keep things strictly professional because that’s who he is, a professional who totally doesn’t have the hots for the son of Alicia Zimmermann.

anonymous asked:

Woah! Christopher Nolan was there????

He absolutely was. Standing right behind me chatting with Jeff. So many people were there – I’m sure I didn’t even see all of them. James Corden was there with his family including his son. Cameron Crowe, Jeff Bhasker, Irving Azoff, Xander (ew), Ben Winston… I’m sure other people as well.

Bob Harper had a heart attack.  Now leave fat people alone.

Bob Harper, a former trainer on the Biggest Loser, has been one of the fittest men on television for over a decade.  He had a massive heart attack a couple of weeks ago and was hospitalized for eight days.

Bob Harper – a fitness guru who’s the host of “The Biggest Loser” – suffered a heart attack that left him unconscious for 2 days.

Harper tells us he was working out in a NYC gym 2 weeks ago when he collapsed. A doctor who was also working out administered CPR and used paddles to keep Bob alive.

The 51-year-old was taken to the hospital and says he woke up 2 days later. He was hospitalized for 8 days and is still in NYC – he lives in L.A. – because his doctors have not cleared him to fly.

(cont. TMZ)

Heart disease and heart attacks run in Bob Harper’s family and he says it’s all genetics.  I’m sure he’s absolutely right, but why are we okay agreeing with a fit man who says his heart attack was genetics while we view fat people who say “it’s genetics” with such disdain?

Keep reading

[Major Spoilers] “Follow your true feelings!”: My Musings on P5′s Wildcard Couple

Can we talk about Morgana’s astute observations regarding Akechi’s true feelings for Akira? Can we talk about how (Morgana’s words–not mine) Akechi’s smile when he was hanging out with Akira had been genuine? This boy– who had distanced himself from everyone, who had wrapped himself up in layers upon layers of lies that he wears like a second skin, who had made revenge his one and only goal in life – had also, in spite of himself, serendipitously found kinship in the one boy whom he has decided that he has to kill. 

Keep reading

You don’t owe your boyfriend anything to ‘make up’ for the fact that you aren’t having sex with him. You don’t have to be okay with his watching porn. You don’t have to let him cheat on you. You don’t have to be cool with him hanging out at strip clubs. You don’t have to ‘compromise’- you don’t owe him oral sex or any other kind of sexual activity. You don’t have to do it just, like, once a year. Whether he realizes it or not, you are making the right choice for both of you by not having sex outside of marriage. You do not have to ‘fulfill his sexual needs desires’. And if a boy/man pushes you to go against your values or feels like you owe him some kind of reparation for your chastity, he absolutely isn’t right for you. 

And then she stopped his heart.

She lifted her head, her chest heaving as she panted and she shot him a triumphant look, her bluebell eyes sparkling from under the reach of her dark fringe. And she smirked.

And right then and there Adrien knew he was absolutely screwed.

Because he wasn’t playing Dodge Ball with Marinette.

He was playing with Ladybug.

Inspired by this fic!

anonymous asked:

Modern AU but instead of a dog, Rover is a tiny micropig!!!! :D

an excellent concept. i apologize for how i’m about to ruin it.

  • [keith and pidge sneaking onto a farm for their supernatural-hunting youtube channel]
    keith: what was that noise??
    pidge: !! i bet it’s an alien!!
    tiny pig: [shuffles out from behind a bag] :0)
    keith: damn, false alarm. let’s– pidge, no.
    pidge: [shoving the pig into her messenger bag and opening a bag of chips for it] their name is rover and they’re my new best friend
    • i’m aware that micropigs probably aren’t found on farms, but listen. pidge straight-up stealing rover is an important part of their relationship.
  • matt: katie, what on earth were you thinking?? there’s no way mom is going to let you keep a pig!! that you stole!!
    pidge: ok but dad totally will
    matt: …goddammit. you’re absolutely right. he will.
    • mama holt: don’t be ridiculous, katie. you’re returning that right now.
      pidge: [turns to dad with a sad puppy face]
      dad holt: …now hold on one second, colleen, maybe we should think about this.
    • she gets to keep it
  • [at school]
    hunk: hey, what did you guys do this weekend?
    pidge: trespassed on private property to search for aliens
    lance: oh, so the usual then
    keith: pidge stole a pig
    hunk: you what??
    rover: [peeks out of pidge’s bag] :0)
    hunk: !!!!!
    lance: oh my gosh, hi little buddy!!
    keith: you brought it to school with you?? pidge!!
    hunk: [petting rover furiously] let her live, keith
    lance: [feeding rover his breakfast] yeah keith, back off
  • teacher: katie, where is your homework?
    pidge: my pig ate it
    teacher: you get brownie points for originality, but–
    pidge: [holding up rover, currently chewing on her worksheet] maam i’m serious
    • teacher: …katharyn, you cannot have that in here
      pidge: it’s my seeing-eye pig?
      teacher: please go to the principal’s office
  • [allura’s birthday party]
    lance: [leaving the kitchen with coran] oh man, this is gonna be great
    tiny pig: [passes by]
    lance: oh, hey rover
    lance: wait…where’s pidge?
    • he runs back into the kitchen, but the birthday cake is gone, and so is the mysterious pig
    • hunk and coran have to make a new one
    • lance sulks for a while because he worked really hard on decorating the cake. keith has to hug him to cheer him up.
  • teacher: i finished grading your tests, and all of you did terribly.
    lance: so that means there’s a curve, right?
    teacher: no.
    lance: ???
    teacher: i haven’t entered the scores into the gradebook yet, so i’ll hand them back briefly, but you won’t…
    teacher: …
    pidge: is everything alright, mr. haxus?
    teacher: [lifts up rover and the remaining scraps of the tests] katharyn holt, take your pig to the office for the rest of the day. if you bring it in one more time, you will get a suspension.
    lance: [whispering as she passes] the sacrifices you two have made will be remembered for generations to come
blue orchids

hanahaki & soulmate au (reposted)

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: angst and a sprinkle of fluff
word count: 18.748
warnings: implied smut
disclaimer: I do not own the hanahaki disease concept.

I am immensely thankful for the talented people who have created art / edits for this story: x, x, x, x, x, x ♡ also, make sure to read moonlight (drabble from jimin’s pov) and home after rain (short sequel) after reading this story. enjoy!


You were eighteen years old when Jimin’s name showed up on your hand.

The day is fresh and clear in your memory: early December, the winds stronger than ever as they threatened to pierce through the windows of your room, hints of snowflake dancing in the air as the first snowfall augured an even sharper winter. There was a smile on your face that didn’t match the unrelenting coldness of the month, and even though the night was falling and the air felt icy on the tips of your fingers, there was only warmth in your chest as you went through the pictures of your phone.

Pictures of you and Jimin drinking hot chocolate, of clumsy iceskating, of funny faces that made you laugh out loud in the quietness of your bedroom. The feeling sparking in your chest could be considered somewhat dangerous— after all, you were just a girl that didn’t have any marks on her skin, a girl whose fate was yet to be decided. Something as enigmatic as love could be a treacherous thing, too risky for someone that couldn’t decide their destiny on their own.

Keep reading

Mr. Min - Chapter 05

Description:  Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

Genre: Angst and Smut

Word Count: 23,243

A/N: Eternal thanks to my number one cheerleader and motivator, @avveh, for constantly rooting for me even when I felt like banging my head on the keyboard.  Not to mention for beta reading this monster.  For anyone who can’t read this on the tumblr app I suggest checking out the AO3 link or opening it on a browser/computer.

PrologueCh 01 - Ch 02 - Ch 03 - Ch 04 - Ch 06

Keep reading

off limits | 02 (m)

pairing: kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings: smut, dirty talk, dom! Jin 
words: 7,520
summary: you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

» playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 |

a/n: if you squint, you can see the beginnings of a plot haha!

Keep reading

  • Reaper: Just focus the payload!
  • Soldier76: I prefer to focus your butt
  • Mercy: He is absolutely right
  • Mccree: I agree
  • Widowmaker: Yes
  • Sombra pointing Reaper's butt: GORGEOUS!
  • Reaper: ... What the fuck

anonymous asked:

What do you think everyone's reactions to discovering Lance is Altean or part-Altean would be?

[cracks knuckles]

  • Coran would be absolutely ecstatic. he would just straight up adopt Lance right then and there. he already basically adopted Lance but now he’s signing papers and shit because Lance is his son now. Lance is fine with this
  • Allura would be pretty excited i think? because hey! our species lives on after all! (and isn’t working for the Galra either!). i feel like she’d really want to find out how Lance turned out to be part Altean too, and if there’s a possibility that there are more Alteans in his family (which there likely would be).
  • on that note: Coran and Allura want to teach him all the things about their culture and planet Altea, all the history of their kind and all that jazz. i think they’d feel it’s really important Lance knows about his heritage
  • Hunk thinks it’s the coolest thing, but also is slightly freaked out by it? because first Keith turns out to be part Galra, now Lance is part Altean, what next? is he an alien too???? is he part Balmeran????? is his skin gonna turn green?????? what the fuck 
  • Pidge thinks it’s pretty interesting and mysterious that Lance is also part alien? at first she’s like “Hunk please, don’t be ridiculous. if you were part Balmeran then i might as well be part Olkarian” 
  • later it occurs to her that she had no trouble forming that tree mecha robot thing on Olkarian and lowkey freaks out over it for the next week
  • Keith is surprised, but also kinda relived? because now there’s someone on the team that he can kinda relate to. he wants to talk to Lance about it, but doesn’t really know how to because he’s not good at making conversation. he’s surprised when Lance is the one to come to him and talk about it. Lance rants to Keith about this new discovery and how he feels about it…how he feels even more out of place because he’s not 100% human or 100% Altean… why can’t he just have his one thing that’s special about him?
  • Lance and Keith end up being venting buddies about their alien hybrid issues
  • Shiro is a loving and supporting dad like always, and is curious as to how this came to be. he also thinks it’s stupidly ironic that Lance turns out to be part Altean right after Keith finds out he’s part Galra. he’s totally in on the parallels between these two. fire and ice? red and blue? galra and altean??? are you kidding me. Shiro is like “they’re practically meant for each other”
10

In this place, in this universe, we are together for eternity

6