But I’m Your Ass

Pairing:  Dean x Reader (Female)

Summary:  Dean’s an ass and for one night you have to pose as a couple.

Word Count: 4.7k (I don’t know what happened, this ended up being longer than I anticipated.)

Warnings: Angst, implied smut, fluff, language, Dean being an ass.

A/N: This just kinda popped in my head. It’s hardcore trash, but I hope you like it. 

(Gifs are not mine.)

Dean Winchester was an ass.

He was cocky, he played his music too loud, he didn’t give a shit about privacy, he was stubborn as all hell, he was obsessed with his car, he ate like a pig, hit on anything with a skirt which included you, he fucked with you on a regular basis because he knew he could get under your skin like no one else could, and he was a fucking ass.

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anonymous asked:

PLS DO A SAG ROAST! Every sag i know has broken my heart.

sags are the biggest bull-shitters in the zodiac and love to exaggerate because it feeds their ego to fool others making them feel superior. they dont give gaf about anyone and their ruthless insensitive asses be cracking jokes at you when your at a low point. always on their high horse about stuff just to sound smarter. sagittarius’s are extremely selfish and you cant rely on them for anything. sagittarians are the type of people who will abandon their children and spouses for a “fresh new start in life”. y’all neglect ur loved ones leaving a trail of heartbroken people behind you. on top of that they’re so blunt but when its thrown back at them, they throw a temper tantrum. no one can take sags seriously so all u other signs out there need to just stop caring bout sag’s bc they most likely don’t give a shit about u either :)   

Are we Rolling? Action 🎬

On the set of “We Bullshit, Daily” These motherfuckers are heading face first for a Wake up call. Don’t kid yourself, the ignorant people are winning your heart.. you fake like you enjoy the shitty music🎧 nod to the unfairness of everything- they never shut up about anything. Waaaaah waah The fuck out my face.


Heated Truth or Dare

Prompt from anon: dean and cas have been friend since they were in dippers. There sixteen or whatever, and still having sleep overs. Cas still sleeps on deans bed. At first it was just a game of truth or dare, then things get a bit heated???


The house was empty, completely silent except for the chuckles of the two sixteen year old boys holed up in one bedroom. The laughter was started over the idea of playing an adolescent game of truth or dare to pass the time till they fell asleep. The two had been having sleep overs since they started grade school and sometimes they ran out of things to do. And that was when Dean suggested a friendly game of truth or dare. Of course as they laid down under the covers of Dean’s bed and stared at the ceiling, their motivation for dares had worn out and so it was just a serious of questions.

“Are you attracted to Anna?” Cas asked softly as he buried his head deeper into the pillow and made sure he didn’t wiggle over to Dean’s side.

Dean was quiet as he thought it over. “No, I don’t think so. I know she kind of has a thing for me, but I don’t think I would like to date her or anything. She is a little but too cryptic for me.”

“Cryptic?” Cas giggled to himself. “You are such a nerd.”

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Induratize [Part One // Kai]

{{ verb // to make one’s heart hardened or resistant to someone’s pleas or advances or to the idea of love }}

Part 1 ✕ Part 2 ✕ Part 3 ✕ Part 4 ✕ Part 5

He’s far from being Romeo.

Fluff. Highschool!AU. 1,275 words.


You suppose everyone in this class has gone insane by now. Because, for once, you are nearly driven to madness by the monotonous tone of your English teacher, Mr. Lee. To put it shortly, he is an unmarried, stout, balding man in his fifties who enjoys secretly watching reruns of “My Girl” from his desk and wearing suspenders as well as horn-rimmed glasses.

But, here you are; once again, he is explaining the oh-so-tragic story of Romeo and Juliet–how they would rather die than live without each other: the act of true love. Well, you don’t know what’s going through his decrepit mind, but you thought that story was a bit sketchy, even though you live for romance novels.

As he drones on and on about Romeo and Juliet and their undying love (no pun intended), you mentally make a list of how stupid that story is.

1. Juliet was thirteen, and Romeo was sixteen. And, they even had sex at that age. Gross.

2. Romeo basically went up to a complete stranger and made out with her.

3. He also married a girl he met less than three days ago.

4. Romeo was some sort of stalker; he hid under her balcony and watched her.

5. He gets over girls really quickly, too. He was all upset over Rosaline until he sees some hot thirteen-year-old.

6. But, they were both wearing masks since it was a masquerade party, so how did he know she was attractive anyway?

7. Romeo and Juliet were too impulsive, which ended with them both committing suicide.

8. The whole story took place in less than one week. Like damn, what’s the rush?

Basically, if Romeo could have just held it in his pants, six people would still be living.

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Can I just say that, there is more to a person than a few of their songs and the way they dress? You can’t quote one persons lovely song, and then quote the other’s free living, party song. There’s a whole lot more to Brantley Gilbert and his music than you know. 

I don’t care if you don’t like ‘em, but when you sit there and you diss and you throw crap all over him, I will not stand for it. There is a limit to your judgement. 


Everyone always make you feel like shit!

One way or another people make up bullshit about you!

Everyone’s just a bunch of backstabbing liars!

My so called friends are a part of this, also I have a feeling my mam could be turning to the side of bullshitters! 

I’ll have strangers talking about me behind my back and I’ll get a name for something I haven’t done!!

It’s happened before so why fucking not it should happen again!!

Honestly I can’t wait to go to Uni (If I ever get in) then I can move out of the shit hole that is Aspatria!!

10 things I learned from a residency director

A resident director recently met with students of a club that I belong to. It was fantastic! I love being able to learn things from people who really know what’s what, especially in a field like medicine, which is oftensaturated by a lot of information from too many (not always reliable)sources. Getting straight answers from someone truly in the know is simply invaluable.

So I’ll share something I heard straight from one horse’s mouth. Maybe you’ve heard or experienced different things - that’s great; please share! We can all benefit from each other! I wrote this to share, but also in for myself. It’s a great way to record the thing that could help as i move further in my medical career. I’m just a wee M1, so my experience and knowledge on residencies is somewhat limited, but I do hope it helps! 

Also, I won’t waste time talking about board scores and academics. You know what you have to do there. 

1. Your Picture

I’ll start with the one people tend to not think about. In your application, you must provide a picture of yourself so admissions committee can get a good look at your mug. The resident director said that out of maybe 500 applications he will immediately throw out 20-30 applicants based on their pictures alone. Now don’t cry discrimination just yet. He went on to explain that these pictures were so ridiculous, so far-fetched or just plain crazy that he could not rationalize looking through these candidates’ apps. He said he has seen everything from a guy with wild, untamed lion-mane locks to a girl spilling so far out of her shirt it was almost taboo to look at to a Facebook party picture. It’s easy to get your picture taken in which you are wearing nice attire that appeases the older generation. Be smart. Do it.

2. An Attention Grabbing Statement

Personal statement that is. From what I understand, most personal statements are not read until the interviewee has been offered an interview.  Unless the first sentence grabs your face and makes you read it, makes you want to know what happens next or why this person wrote that sentence. Not everyone is an accomplished writer and, honestly, that’s fine. Even statements written with perfect Victorian prose will be skimmed and shrugged off. So what do you do? Just go for it. Use your experiences, the things that open the window to who you are. Also, the director said writing about how much you love medicine and all of your volunteer work for, say, habitat for humanity does not cut it anymore. In his words, “It’s expected that everyone does it! I don’t care!” A little harsh in my opinion, but the sentiment is there. 

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Signs According To My Mom

ARIES: My first thought is “dad”. So, I think authoritarian, bossy, yet charming moments. Love my dad.

TAURUS: Bull-shitters. Can I say that!? Okay, fine. Storytellers. Also, workhorses.

GEMINI: Remember the squirrel in Hoodwinked? Yeah. That.

CANCER: I picture a large spectrum of emotions on the back of a crab that is pinching the shit out of you and not letting go.

LEO: The true alpha. Christina Grey doesn’t have anything on them. Mmm, Thor (from Avengers) comes to mind.


LIBRA: Love loving love

SCORPIO: They’re sexy and they know it.

SAGITTARIUS: Freedom lovers

CAPRICORN: Love! Love! Love! My favorite!

AQUARIUS: Can hold a grudge for 40 years

PISCES: My mom taught me if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. My polar opposite. ‘Nuff said.

lyzzybelle  asked:

Can you add a Private Investigator tag and do you have any recommendations for Sterek PI fics?

i sure can!! (these are all pi!stiles btw)

Caution, contents may be hot by WeirdV (5/5 | 11,916 | G)

Derek has been working at the coffee shop since his parents left it to him in their will. Laura wasn’t much for taking over the business, but she spends a lot of time there, helping out with stock and supplies. Stiles is a regular, for almost three months, when he suddenly starts going to the coffee shop across the street. He’s not the first costumer to switch loyalties, but it stings Derek just a little bit more.

Stiles Stilinki always wanted to go into law enforcement, but he’s not patient enough to climb the ladder to detective, and his methods aren’t always – let’s say on the right side of the law. So he does what he deems a perfect solution for someone without the correct social skills or patience to make promotion, he becomes a Private Investigator. When he gets a job to investigate a shady employee at the coffee shop across the street from his regular place, he suddenly finds himself missing a decent cup of coffee. He’s been going to the new place for almost a week now, and they still don’t know his order, his regular barista had it down the next day. and – of course – it is interfering with the case he’s personally involved with, his mother’s murder.

In Between the Lines (There’s a Lot of Obscurity) by PsychicPineapple (1/1 | 6,103 | G)

Stiles Stilinksi: private investigator (kind of), perpetual thorn in Detective Derek Hale’s side (definitely), and world class bull-shitter. Also, he solves murders.

‘Oh, you know,’ Stiles leant casually against the wall, ‘I was in the neighbourhood so I just thought I’d stop by and solve a case for you.’

One floor at a time by WeirdV (1/1 | 2,591 | NR)

Elevator AU
Stiles works on the 17th floor, Derek on the 20th.
Stiles always takes the stairs, it’s a thing, don’t judge.
But on a sunny Monday morning he decided to take the elevator. Well, for a floor, maybe. Babysteps.

Or, the one where Stiles tries to get over his fear of elevators to talk to that totally cute guy that also starts at 7.30 in the morning.

The Dog Days Are Over by surrenderdammit (1/1 | 1,257 | PG13)

The little shit had a tendency to crash his investigations more often than not. He’s still not sure if this is because of the unholy joy the bloodsucker takes in annoying the ever living hell out of Derek, or if Derek is simply handed the kind of cases Stilinski takes interest in.

Either way, fuck his life, seriously.

Honestly humans are still world class bull shitters

no matter what era you go back to, we’re full of bullshit

I refuse to believe that at least one person didn’t think witch hunts were bull shit

they couldn’t say shit but somewhere in their logical brain, somewhere in their common sense, they had to know that women couldn’t be the agents of Satan just for petting a cat at the same time beer happened to go bad

livinglifethroughacamera-lens  asked:

When I envisioned my future, there was no one, i was alone. But after watching you and Mark, I am full of hope, a hope i have never felt before. I strive to have a relationaship like yours, you guys are truly my role models, fuck all the fake celebrities and all the bull shitters who are societies 'role models'; you guys are my true heros and i cannot thank you enough for what you have done for me, I love both of you so so much. And again, thank you, i cannot put my gratitude into words. :) <3

We love you too! :) Nothing could make me happier than hearing that. Never stop until you’re happy! I know it’s cliche and everyone has heard it 1,000 times but it does GET BETTER. I promise you. The future is yours. Go out there and take it!