so i was thinking about another modern au where the greek gods have had to adapt to modern society and so they’ve picked up mortal jobs and hobbies and interests and i got really into it.

hermes is a late night comedian, since that’s the way that most information is transmitted nowadays, and he still gets to poke fun at his siblings.

poseidon is a high powered eco lawyer. he works on high profile cases along the lines of the bp oil spill. he has beach-side houses all over the world and enjoys thrill-seeking outdoor activities like cliff jumping and cave diving. 

hades teaches high school english, along the lines of the dead poets society. he lives near his school and brings his dog to school every day. he loves teaching british literature like shakespeare and john donne. his wife comes to visit him and they eat lunch together every day in his office, which always has flowers in it. 

apollo works as a librarian at a university, and he moonlights as a slam poet. he teaches archery at the local YMCA and stays in on weekends with a mug of tea and a good book or movie.

vesta makes ceramics professionally. she feels most at home among the wheels and glazes and kilns of her workshop. there are always candles lit in her apartment that don’t seem to go out. she loves hosting dinner parties for her friends, who are her true family. 

dionysus works as a bartender. he owns a vineyard on the side but lets other people handle the corporate side of things. his favorite part of acting mortal is getting to know the people who come to his bar and connecting with them. he never forgets a face and he has a wall of pictures of his favorite customers behind the bar.

athena teaches middle school social studies/history because she’s discovered that she really enjoys working with children. at this age she can impart wisdom upon them and teach them logic and reason before they are too swayed by the opinions of the world.

zeus is a con artist and art thief. he never stays in a city for more than a week, but he has someone new in his bed every night. he frequents casinos and clubs and owns a villa out in California which is filled with more famous works of art than he ought to have.

hera is a very bitter and sarcastic wedding planer, like james marsden in 27 dresses minus the journalism bit. she is most famous among celebrity circles for having just the right “touch” when it comes to decor and menu planning and floral arrangements. she charges a ton but can work magic, from short-term planning to getting the bride’s wishes just right. she doesn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage but it has bought her summer homes in hawaii and costa rica so she’ll sell the idealized vision.

aphrodite runs several dating sites like eharmony and okcupid, but also some like ashley madison that facilitate affairs because she rules more over the sexual side of things than the love side, despite her image to the former. she loves rap and hip hop and takes kick-boxing classes and always looks like she has makeup on. she anonymously supports planned parenthood because she wants to support safe sex and allow people to find the information and resources they need. 

artemis owns a climbing gym and leads outdoor climbing adventures for her clients and also her buddies. she has tons of tattoos and piercings and a secret love for pop punk music like fob and p!atd. on the weekends, she runs lgbtqia+ support groups for children and teens in her neighborhood, and always lets them climb for free in her gym.

hephaestus owns a tattoo parlor and has a reputation for the most lifelike tattoos that always seem to be exactly what someone had in mind, as if he magically could see their thoughts. he’s a total teddybear and has a penchant for classical music and teaches at-risk children in his city how to repair bikes and cars on the weekends.

The Deepwater Horizon oil spill (otherwise known as the BP oil spill) in April of 2010 flowed for 87 days and released an estimated total of 210 million gallons of oil. This spill left a sheet of petroleum on the surface of the Gulf of Mexico and is one of the most devastating spills in history. In November 2012, BP and the United States Department of Justice settled federal criminal charges with BP pleading guilty to 11 counts of manslaughter, two misdemeanors, and a felony count of lying to Congress. BP also agreed to four years of government monitoring of its safety practices and ethics, and the Environmental Protection Agency announced that BP would be temporarily banned from new contracts with the US government.

Top 6 car guys that piss me off

1. The Stancefag

Non-competitive assbags that ruin cars on chassis level. These people have zero intrest in performance, and because they know they can’t drive worth a shit, they just stick to the bottom feeder world of art-project cars.

2. The jeep-queefer

These guys gloat about gigantic soccer-mom mobiles. The most offroading 90% of them do is a few burnouts behind the soccer field or in their dirt road driveway. That said, they’re better than the former, as they usually build their cars to be capable off road. But they’re still insufferable “Melon labia” types with their disgusting spergbeards, their synthol pumped arms with matching twig legs, and little man’s complex. Bill11b was a jeepqueefer 

3. The Never-wrencher

If you’ve ever been to a car cruise, you’ve seen the type. More money than sense, has some old ass GM professionally restored, but the concept of a battery tender is beyond him, so he can’t get it started as the battery is dead from storing it for 3 years without the slightest hint of movement. He opens the hood to look at what’s wrong, and as everyone asks him if he wants a jump, he sits there uselessly as he can’t even figure out how to hook up jumpers. The most pathetic kind of “car guy”.

4. The Richboy

This type isn’t super duper common, but we’ve all seen this type. Daddy has a shop, or a fuckton of money, so he teaches his daughter to change out tie rods and rotate tires in his heated, gigantic shop that has a fucking janitor and everything. These people are applauded as they bang rocks together, and throw money at problems till a turd is polished to a piano finish by people much more talented than them. These people are usually female.

5. The Memer

This dumbfuck has no idea what he bought. He just knows it was in back to the futrure, or mad max, or initial D, so he paid 8 grand for a rotten old 80′s hatchback. He touts his twingo or volvo 240 as some marvel of engineering because of poe’s law. This guy is more than happy to intterupt any conversation about tires to tell you about this time he watched mad max and it was awesome.

6. The Boomer

*tires are dry rotted to all hell, paint is rougher than sandpaper and it pisses more oil than BP in the gulf*
*drives a busted to shit dodge minivan*
*drives a rebadged suzuki/daewoo/opel*

I am Mysterion. Though only nine years old, I dedicate my life to helping people, when I’m not in school. For months now, I’ve been protecting my town from crime. But now, something has happened which even I can’t fight alone. The BP Oil company has drilled and caused a spill in the Gulf like no other. The President of BP apologized.
—  South Park: Season 14, Mysterion Rises

Here is little Miss Grace. It amazes me what a wonderful pup she is. Yes, I still felt anxious with her running around but by the time I took the video. She’d already been running free for 5 minutes with each of us doing our check-ins.

This property belongs to BP, an oil refinery. The road is closed off. It’s a beautiful 4 mile run, even in the rain, with blowing grasses and brightly colored song birds. The road is also fairly soft.

The Iranian flag is raised over British owned Anglo-Iranian oil company (later BP) after Iran oil industry was nationalized, June 10, 1951, Abadan, Iran

Iranian oil industry was nationalized by prime minister, Mohammad Mossadegh.

Mossadegh was later overthrown in 1953 during operation AJAX by the request of British government. 

Settlements for Company Sins Can No Longer Aid Other Projects, Sessions Says
The attorney general signed an order this week to end the practice of requiring corporate wrongdoers to make payments to outside groups or causes.
By Tatiana Schlossberg and Hiroko Tabuchi

Another example of the trump administration doing everything it can to ignore the environment, including a reasonable method to repair environmental damage.

However, this article is another example of the New York Times turning away from environmental concerns towards the right. Language from the article that suggests an emerging bias toward the right when it comes to climate or the environment:

When companies settle claims of wrongdoing, they are often compelled to pay for environmental or community development projects as well as pay fines and direct compensation to victims. Sometimes the third-party payments are only marginally related to the damages caused by the company’s actions.

To settle claims from the Gulf oil spill, BP was required to spend billions on coastal restoration projects that were not directly related to spill damage. Volkswagen is financing electric vehicle charging stations under its settlement of the diesel emissions cheating scandal. Duke Energy paid for soil restoration on federal land as part of its compensation for air pollution violations at some of its power plants in North Carolina.

Is the New York Times giving these three examples of settlements that were not related to the damages that led to the litigation in the first place? Is the journalist who wrote the story telling us that BP’s coastal restoration order was only “marginally related” to the Deepwater Horizon oil spill? Or that Volkswagen’s funding of electric charging stations for vehicles is only “marginally related” to the excess amount of diesel fumes its vehicles illegally puked into the air? Or that Duke Energy’s pollution from its coal plants didn’t adversely affect adjoining land, and is therefore only “marginally related?” I don’t think so. I see a direct cause of an environmental problem by the sinner, and a settlement remedy directly related to mitigation of that damage.

The BP oil spill made an entire island disappear.

The 2010 BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico was an environmental catastrophe. Over 87 painful days, the largest oil spill in U.S. history left 200 million gallons of crude washing around the Gulf. Now, National Geographic has released a new video that shows how the damage was worse than previously imagined.

Behind the Lens: Photographing the President in 50 States

by Pete Souza, Chief Official White House Photographer

This week, the President will visit South Dakota, marking the 50th state he has visited during his administration (as such, it’s also my 50th state with him). To mark the occasion, I chose one photograph from each state that we’ve visited. This was not as easy as I thought it would be. With help from photo editor Phaedra Singelis, I tried to depict a variety of situations. Some are more lighthearted; some are sad, and some are poignant. Some are with the Vice President; some are with the First Lady, and a couple are with the entire family. A selection of photos are centered on policy, and others on politics. Some focus on the President as Commander-in-Chief – others on his role as consoler for the nation.

I hope you enjoy this gallery. And stay tuned – we’ll be adding a photograph from South Dakota following his visit there on Friday.

Alabama, 2015

Alabama, March 7, 2015. Marching at the 50th Anniversary of Bloody Sunday in Selma. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Alaska, 2009

Alaska. Nov 12, 2009. Air Force One refueling at Elmendorf Air Force Base. (Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

Arizona, 2009

Arizona, Aug. 16, 2009. Viewing the Grand Canyon. (Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

Arkansas, 2014

Arkansas. May 7, 2014. Touring tornado damage in Vilonia. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

California, 2014

California, July 23, 2014. Viewing the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Colorado, 2014

Colorado, July 8, 2014. Playing pool with Gov. John Hickenlooper in Denver. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Connecticut, 2012

Connecticut, Dec. 16, 2012. Making last-minute edits to his speech in Newtown, before a vigil for those killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Delaware, 2009

Delaware, Oct. 29, 2009. Honoring fallen soldiers from Afghanistan at Dover Air Force Base. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Florida, 2015

Florida, April 22, 2015. Keeping his distance from a baby alligator on Earth Day at Everglades National Park. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Georgia, 2013

Georgia, May 19, 2013. Graduates cheering the President during a heavy downpour at Morehouse College in Atlanta. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Keep reading

What is the disconnect between BP spilling millions of barrels of oil and BP paying to clean it up? You break the ocean, you pay for it.

The Oil Industry has too much power, creates too much pollution, and needs to be taught a lesson by “We, the People”.

Mission Blue ~ "No ocean, no life. No life, no us."

I: “Aren’t you a radical about protecting the oceans?”

SE: “If I seem like a radical, it may be because I see things that others do not.”

The documentary “Mission Blue” was released on Netflix on August 15th. It features the extraordinary Dr. Sylvia Earle, her life and work to protect the oceans and to spread awareness on marine conservation. I watched it a few nights ago, and felt inspired, impressed, and at the same time a bit disgusted by the human race. And also quite glad to be a vegetarian. 

The film highlights Earle’s main contributions and scientific missions while taking us down memory lane to learn more about her childhood growing up in New Jersey, and then falling in love with the oceans when she moved to the Gulf coast of Florida. She talks with a lot of emotion about how the nature she would love so much as a child has changed so much, for the worse. While Sylvia grew up by the Gulf of Mexico, there was only one oil rig in the Gulf. Nowadays, there are over 33,000 of them!

Growing up and through her high school and college career, her inspirations were William Beebe and Jacques Cousteau. Luckily for her, one of her college professors managed to get some of the very first set of ‘Aqualung’ equipment available. Once she started diving, she never looked back. She felt free, at ease, at home.

Well, I clearly failed my graduation photo! She admits that back in the day, nobody even conceived we could have an impact on the oceans. “The sea at the time seemed endless in its capacity to yield whatever we wanted to take from it, and in whatever we could put in it,” she explains. “We have this idea as humans that the oceans is so big and so vast and so resilient that it doesn’t matter what we do to it. Our ignorance is really the biggest problem we now face.”

But she saw her home, Florida, change before her eyes as it was being developed at an alarming pace. She gets emotional talking about Tampa Bay, about the crystal waters of her childhood turning green, about the grass dying, about the salt marshes being destroyed to build parking lots.

“That kind of experience, of witness… I saw the before, and I saw the after of what kind of influence we can do to the natural world.”

To my (nerdy) delight, the documentary also prominently features Jeremy Jackson (if you are or want to get into marine biology, you will read many, many, many of his papers). Jackson explains that the Gulf of Mexico is this extraordinarily wonderful, productive, magnificent place that also had the misfortune of being on top of a ton of oil and of being the sewer for a lot of people of the U.S.A.

The film touches on many critical topics and on the many barbaric acts we can do to the oceans. Some footage is very raw and not for the weak-hearted: shark finning, the BP oil spill, industrial fishing, trash and plastic pollution, death of coral reefs worldwide, overfishing of many species, agricultural and animal farming run-off…It’s quite a slap in the face and a lot to take in. If this isn’t a wake-up call, I don’t know what is. 

Earle was a pioneer for all women in the science world. She broke through all the barricades and prejudices against women. All of the sudden, in the middle of all of these burly, bearded men was a tiny, ambitious woman with a lot of big ideas.

In 1979, she made an open-ocean JIM suit dive to the sea floor near Oahu, Hawaii, setting a women’s depth record of 381 metres (1,250 ft). She admits she never was scared. She was fascinated to be able to observe all these bioluminescent creatures and a landscape that hadn’t changed in billions of years. She even asked to turn the lights off!

She has made it her life’s purpose to speak for the oceans.In a way, we are all sea creatures,” she explains on the Colbert Report. She is not scared to get in the heat of things, as we see her get in the water, camera in-hands, really close to huge industrial fishing boats.

“Seeing this… being in the water with the fish… for a moment i felt as if a piece of me was ripped out of the ocean as well,” she recalls, emotionally.

As we all already knew, she is not afraid to point fingers and say what is on her mind. As she became more renowned, she was appointed Chief Scientist of NOAA in 1990. While she admits she learned a lot, she also realized that it was not the best position for her to really make an impact.

“I went to a meeting with the Fisheries Council, and I was never allowed again,” she explains. “I was not permitted to speak about things I knew most about”. And that says a lot. Being a government official did not allow her to fully convey her passion and to freely speak her mind. So she parted ways with NOAA. 

Now, Earle is always on the road, traveling all around the world to give lectures and to inspire people to care about the oceans. Her Mission Blue is to protect the oceans the same way we now protect the land. 

The documentary ends on a positive and hopeful note, and the message to take home is that we can change the way things are going. We have to rewire how human beings look at their relationship with nature: “what we have on Earth is all we will ever have.

This film serves as a career retrospect, which is fascinating, an intriguing personal story on her family life, but also as a warning call to protect our planet. It is hard-hitting, but also inspiring. Now it is up to every single one of us to make a change for the better. Will you join Mission Blue?


This Sunday, April 20, 2014, marks the 4-year anniversary of the BP oil spill. Four years after the Deepwater Horizon oil rig exploded releasing 4.1 million barrels of oil into the Gulf and killing 11 workers, new research continues to show that the effects of the spill are more far reaching than most had ever imagined. As BP continues to run misleading ads suggesting the Gulf is fine, and as they continue to argue the extent of their liability in court, the Gulf continues to wait for full restoration. #4yearslater BP must be held fully accountable for their actions in one of the worst environmental disasters in U.S history.