BLACK-GIRL-PROBLEMS

I'm so tired - A Black Girls Ode

I’m tired of the stereotypes
Black girls are
“Loud”
“Angry”
“Violent”
“Too dark”
“Ugly”
“Not desirable”
“Inferior”

I’m tired of the hair hate
“Nappy”
“Crunchy”
“Dry”
“Short”
“Afro”
“Natural”
“Braids”
“Weaves”
“Wannabe white”

I’m tired of the skin hate
“#TeamLightSkin”
“#TeamDarkSkin”
Like we’re on opposing teams…

I’m tired of the hate for liking out of race
“Black guys”(Who sometimes don’t even want us)
“White guys”
“Asian guys”
“Hispanic guys”
ANY GUY
And forever wondering if said guy will even like us back

I’m tired of being told I can’t be
“Nerdy”
“Quiet”
“Shy”
“ A geek”
“A nerdy”
“A gamer”
“Good at school”
“A princess”
“Or a Queen”

Or can’t have
“A stable family”
“Good grades”
“Drama free love life”
“Normalcy of any sort”

Or I can’t like
“Comic books”
“Reading”
“Video games”
“Indie music”
“Pop music”
“Rock music”
Anything other than Rap/R&B

I’m tired of the names and things said
“Oreo”
“Sassy”
“Fake”
“Uppity”
“Ghetto”
“White girl in a black girls body”
“I don’t date black girls”
“You’re pretty for a black girl”
“You talk/act white”
“You’re not like the rest”
“I like chocolate”
“You’re my Nubian princess” (Like we are food or a prize to be won)

I’m so tired
…. Of constantly trying to prove myself
….. Always explaining myself
….. Trying to keep my voice down
….. Being too dark
…… Or too light
…… Steering away from stereotypes
….. Being treated like less than
….. “No I don’t have kids” “Nit currently or planning to be pregnant”
….. “No you cannot touch my hair”
….. Yes I live with both my mom and dad
…… “Nubian princess”
….. Keeping my hands to myself in a store so I don’t get accused of stealing
…… Social media and News representation
…… Being a fetish
…… Being wary of cops when I’ve done nothing wrong
…… Knuckling under
…… Black on black hate
……. EVERY THING ELSE

I’m so tired of fighting

My skin color and hair does not, has not, and will not ever represent me.
I am in touch with my black and Haitian roots but none of it defines me unless I say it does.
No matter I do or say people will still see me that way. I’m so tired of people not even seeing who I am but what they perceive me to be solely based on my skin.

I’m so very tired, BUT, too many people (men, women, and people of every race) have fought too long, prayed too hard, and died too often for us to GIVE UP because we’re TIRED! No, this is when we push even harder, because if we’re tired so are they, but now we have one foot in the door ^3^

Love is a feeling or a decision?

Okay…I was just scrolling on tumblr and I saw a post that said “Love is a feeling, not a decision.” And my immediate response was, “Um..that’s false.” But when I clicked on the comments, people were agreeing that love is in fact a feeling and not a decision, so I would just like to throw this unpopular opinion out there.

Love is a feeling for about a month, and a decision for the rest of your life.

If love was just a feeling, divorce would never happen, it would be strong enough to sustain relationships. You’d fall for every guy who whispered sweet nothings, who’s taller than you and has a nice smile.

Love is not something that you feel. You FEEL euphoria, you FEEL joy, you FEEL excitement. You CHOOSE love. After the excitement wears off and you realize you don’t like the way she/he chews, or you don’t like that he swears a lot or whatever other little thing they might do that gets under your skin, you have to CHOOSE that you still want to be with this person in spite of their quirks.

Hollywood has fed us this idea that those feelings of joy and excitement are all that love is. And that some big dramatic event happens that ends in tears and a loving embrace is true love. But that’s not life! When those big dramatic events happen, you usually want to die. Or you want to be alone. Or you question your relationship. Love is not “Oh I feel good around this person so I must love them!” No no my friends, love is the grunt work. It’s staying together in the valleys so you can get the peaks, can I get an Amen?!

This idea that love is just a feeling is why relationships aren’t lasting. Why we all give up so easily. Because if we don’t FEEL it anymore, then it must not exist. If we don’t FEEL it, then it must be over. This rhetoric is killing lasting relationship which is what many of us want and desire.

Now I’m not saying that you should have no emotions with the guy or girl you’re with. You should feel happiness and sparks and all that jazz, but just know that that is not all that love is. And when sh*t hits the fan, it’s not the sparks that will keep your relationship afloat.

This, of course, it my personal opinion.. what do you guys think?

When you have social anxiety but you're a black girl & everyone assumes you have an attitude problem ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
TIP OF THE DAY

do not date guys that can’t compliment your lifestyle. 

If your like me prefer the finer things in life, vacations, splurging whenever I feel and anything fabulous. Why date a guy who is the complete opposite? Someone who would make you feel guilty about the way you live or even try to change you completely? Don’t get me wrong opposites do attract but does it last? How much are you willing to put up with, is something you should ask yourself. Are you wiling to give up and change what makes you happy to make someone else happy….

Shoutout to black asexuals!!

Sex repulsed black aces
Sex positive black aces
Sex neutral black aces
Black aces who’ve had sex
Black aces who’re still virgins
Black aces who are out
Black aces who are in the closet
Black aces in their teens
Black aces who are in their twenties on up
Questioning black aces
Black aces who’ve always known they were ace
Demisexual black aces
Grey asexual black aces
Black aromantic asexuals

I hope in 2016 the black community will recognize that we exist! We definitely need more conversations about being black and asexual.

BEING SINGLE ROCKS

I know. No one EVER says that. But wait I’ll explain.

I started dating when I was 18 years old. I had my first kiss at 18, my first boyfriend at 18, my first love at 18. I thought he was the end all be all. I thought we’d be together forever. But after three years of dating long distance and argument after argument.. it ended. And my fairytale came to an end. I haven’t dated anyone seriously since then. I’ve gone out on countless dates, through dating apps or otherwise, and even had a “boyfriend” for about two months somewhere in there. I also dated an older guy (as some of you will recall). And even though it didn’t work out and hasn’t worked out with any of these guys since my first relationship, I couldn’t be happier or more grateful for the experiences I’ve had.

You see, when I was 18, I was ready to settle down. I thought, “well this is it!” I had my house, backyard, wedding dress and anything else I could need for my future right there on my Pinterest board. But as I got older and my eyes started opening to the world around me, I became curious about what else was out there. I wanted to travel, I wanted to have whirlwind summer romances, I wanted to live abroad. So many things I wanted to do, that I knew I couldn’t do if I was tied down. I’ve always had a free spirit. So when things in my relationship started going south, I knew it was time to let go and start living the life I’d dreamed when I was younger.

Since then I’ve road tripped through California, traveled to Australia, taught dance for an entire summer in beautiful Lake Tahoe, and now I’m going on a mission trip to Honduras. I also signed with two talent agencies and booked roles on two different web series’. I don’t think I would’ve done any of this without being single! My mind would’ve been in a completely different place. It would’ve been on weddings, on trips with my significant other, on making sure they are happy and cared for. I wouldn’t have had the freedom to do the incredible things I’ve done, had I had to worry about the opinion of my significant other.

See, being single isn’t about searching for someone to complete you. It’s not a “when I find THE ONE I’ll accomplish all the things I want to accomplish.” Or “when I get a boyfriend, I’ll suddenly be the perfect version of myself!” No, being single allows you the time to work on yourself. To grow to love yourself truly and purely. To grow in religious faith. To foster new friendships, and sustain old ones. To grow in your career. To grow in virtue.

Trust me, I know this isn’t easy! I struggle with this every day. When I go out on a date and automatically picture a future with that person, even if I barely like them. When I’m dating a guy for a while and continue to do things with them even though I know I don’t really love them and can’t see myself loving them. But I’m just happy to have someone or I’m afraid to be alone. I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself that being single right now is the biggest blessing I could receive. Because 1) it’s one day closer to finding someone who IS right for me and 2) I’m able to do some amazing things with my friends without worrying about anyone but myself! And maybe that sounds selfish, but one day, I will have a husband and kids who I will be more than willing and even excited to cater to and do things for, but until then, I’m going to enjoy this amazing time of single hood and I encourage all you other single ladies to do the same.

Has anyone else noticed...

That there’s a significant difference in the numbers of likes and followers that white youtubers, viners (before it was deleted), and just social media famous people get compared to social media famous people of color? It’s something that bugs me a lot.

So I’m proposing we all start following each other’s social media accounts and rack in them likes and those followers!!!

What do you guys say?! Comment with whatever social media you’re trying to promote below and I’ll follow!