BC I WAS LIKE

okay, i don’t hate kids. i think they’re sort of funny. i like that you can talk to them like an adult and they’ll make sounds like they understand. i taught one kid “phosphorescence” and he looked at me and said, “they could just call it glowing if it means something that glows.” the kid undid the entire science community in one sentence.

but i hate kids.

or really, i hate how they’ve always been expected from me.

when i was five i was given “babies.” i hated the hardness of dolls, disposed of them for dramatic stories between stuffed animals. i knew how to wrap, feed, and care for a baby before i could spell my last name. when i was nine i was already “watching the kids”. i was only four years older than my cousins were. i wanted to go out and play. instead i was expected to have responsibility. by the time i was thirteen all of my friends had told me about how many children they were going to have in their twenties. 

my hips were “child-bearing” hips. my brother was a scientist, or a fireman, or a steamroller. i was going to make a good housewife, or mom, or nanny, or mom, or mom, or mom.

and when my body hurt, i was told it wasn’t really my body, not really, it belonged to my future children. i couldn’t cut or snip or tie anything; i was trapped by the potential energy that hung above me. a boulder, threatening. i couldn’t get tattoos, because what would i tell my children? i couldn’t kiss a girl, because what would i tell the children? i couldn’t be risky or wild or anything but a lady, because what about the children?

and when i said “i don’t want children” - not biologically, at least, not when cancer and depression and a whole other host of terrible things lives inside me - do you know what they said? “it’ll change, wait and see” “it’s not bad” “you’ll get used to it” “when you meet the right man” “you don’t want to be lonely”.

i don’t hate kids. i’m great with them. 

but then i’m told again that my life will be forfeit to them - something in me snaps angry. “wait until you have kids” “you should travel before you have children” “you’ll be more happy.” 

i hate kids! i’ve snarled. i don’t mean it at all. but god. please, leave me alone. i don’t want to be a biological mom. 

it’s like we’re born with a uterus and told “this is your whole life. your singular purpose. your job.” 

i want to be my own purpose. not here for the sake of passing genes on.

“you don’t get to call yourself gay, you’re bi” but it’s the gay community, gay rights, gay pride parade. when they hit me, it was for being gay. when i look at myself i try to measure the parts of me that fit into the slot; i’m 80% gay even on a straight day. when i kneeled to pray it was begging away the gay part. when i do something wrong, it’s gay. 

when she was dating me, she was terrified of me leaving. “you’ll marry a man,” she said, “you’re bi, none of you are really gay.” when i left her for a man i felt those words like red nails inside me. when another of us commits suicide, a gay boy and i stand outside the funeral and he spits before going inside. “this is because y’all can’t make up your goddamn mind. he couldn’t even decide if he wanted to stay alive”. when i stand and hold hands with a trans boy at a pride rally, someone throws dirt at me. “go home, hetero,” and i feel like it’s better just to leave. “i just feel like shelters shouldn’t let bi people in. they can go to the straight ones. leave the shelter space for a real gay person.” my friend is out on the street at sixteen because she’s bi. in four years, she is dead. “bi people are untrustworthy” “bi people are slutty” “bi people don’t exist” “being bi is a sign of mental illness.”

too gay, i guess, for straight people. but not gay enough to call myself one. not gay enough, even when any other word i use to define myself comes with “slur connotations.” even when they beat me for it. even when i know people who died for it. even when. 

“i don’t know why bi people get upset we don’t make gay rights about them” a sigh, long-suffering, “you guys have no idea what kind of trouble we’re in.”

they bop!!!!!!

7

Dean Winchester | 13x02 The Rising Son

8

January 14th 2014. Detectives Peralta and Santiago conducted surveillance from a rooftop at 397 Barton Street. This is where we came the night I won our bet and you fell in love with me. The night you flirted with me for 20 seconds and I became obsessed with you forever.

9

“We knew we really wanted to create our very own look for Wonder Woman to how she’s portrayed in TV shows and graphic novels, so we went back to her roots and where she came from. We wanted to creates something incredibly strong and portray her as a legitimate fighter, so we looked back … because we wanted her to look like she’s been wearing the same costume, in a sense, for thousands of years — since she’s immortal, after all. We were inspired by the metal armor of Greek and Roman warriors and gladiators. It seemed like a good fit for her. We created a costume that looks like metal armor, but of course, in these films the fight scenes are very intense and challenging so I had to come up with a solution that would allow her to move and breathe, but also to have this very iconic, sort of hourglass shape in a modern and interesting way. We used a combination of old and new technology. With scans of Gal, we created her breastplate on the computer — we drew it all in 3D. Then we applied all these fantastic finishes and we ended up making it with a current paint over the top and with many layers of glazes to give it a really ancient, warm feel. Zack wanted it to be full of battle scars and dents.There was a lot of love that went into all the details, making her really look like a powerful, legitimate warrior.” - Michael Wilkinson. 

The overall look of Wonder Woman’s iconic armor had already been designed by Michael Wilkinson for the character’s appearance in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. Nevertheless, Lindy Hemming and her team had considerable work to do to get the costume ready for shooting Wonder Woman. “The costume that had already been made used a sculpted and moulded method,” Hemming explains. “They had made it in a mould and then the pieces were attached to the undersuit. We tried to make it lighter weight and easier to move in for Gal, because in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, she had much less action to do. So we had to change it for those reasons. The costume in the previous film was darker and ours was just a bit lighter, but other than that we didn’t change the design very much.” - Wonder Woman: The Art and Making of The Film by Sharon Gosling.

I originally drew this back in february for Mikasa’s birthday and it’s gone through so many corrections since then it’s time I let it go today for Armin’s bday (I also tried finishing it for Eren’s but omg I made him especially look so bad then)

2

You’re bullshit. You’re pretending like… Like everything’s okay. You know, like… like we didn’t kill Barb. Like… like it’s great. Like we’re in love, and we’re partying… Yeah, let’s party. Party, we’re partying… This is bullshit.