So, I’m a bit of a nerd. I admit it. When I first got into this sugaring thing several years ago, I was lost. I stumbled around, was taken advantage of several times, I had lots of dates blow up in my face (pun intended). And I really got nothing out of it. So, this second time around, I wanted to make sure I didn’t waste my time.
My solution? READ
I purchased lots of books (on my Kindle) on sugar babying (if that’s a verb). Taylor B. Jones’s book. The Liedra Lawson book (even though it’s now laughably dated). The Ho Tactics book (personal favorite). Among others. I read this shit out of these last summer and go back to them frequently.
And one of my favorite tips from all of them, specifically Taylor’s book, is automated responses.
Before, I used to spend so much damn time answering messages and talking all about myself when most men would NEVER put that much effort into responding to me. It was exhausting! It made searching for a sugar daddy even more of a job than it already felt like. I was not having it. So, I came up with a system.
1) On my profile, I specifically state that men must a) tell me their name, b) must share their private photos with me before requesting mine, c) must state why they think we’d be a good match based on my profile. If they do not do all three, I simply send back a message stating “Hi __blank___. Please see my profile for tips on messaging me and requesting my private photos. Thank you and have a happy __whateverdayitis___.” That is #AutomatedResponse1.
2) When they do follow instructions –Keep in mind, those that don’t, will NOT get a response from me. If they won’t take the time to do three simple things, I know they won’t take the time to be good SDs. Very easy way to weed out fakes! –anyway, I respond with a more lengthy automated message. A) I tell them thank you for their message. B) I write something person from their profile that caught my attention. C) Then I ask 5 questions that I expect them to answer. My questions are i) what are they looking for in a relationship/how many arrangements have they had? ii) what’s they’re relationship status. iii) why did they want a sugar baby in the first place iv) what are their likes -sports, movies, food, etc.. And v) what is their budget for an arrangement. After all, if their budget is too low, then I don’t want to waste anyone’s time here.
Also note, those men who don’t want to answer question 5 about budgets, have always consistently ended up screwing me over. So now, if they don’t answer or say “Let’s talk about it in person”, I write them off. Fuck anyone who won’t take the time to answer my questions, number one. And number two, if they don’t have a budget in mind or don’t want to tell you what it is, they don’t have one. They just want to fuck you for free. Which I’m not about.
I’ve learned a lot with these automated questions. A guy might seem really nice and then as soon as I send this message, he’ll call me all sorts of names simply for trying to get some basic info from him. Or likewise, a guy will seem on the cheap side but when he answers, will pleasantly surprise me with his ideal arrangement budget. It’s a quick way to get info. I keep these questions in a Google Doc and simply copy and paste them into messages and change only subtle things, depending on what I read in my POTs profile.
I’ve found this really helps streamline the process of messaging guys back and getting as much info with the minimal amount of effort. Please feel free to take my questions! Remember, if he won’t answer the questions, he’s not worth your time!