I saw this monstrosity today sitting proudly by the entrance to Really Good Stuff. The sign says it’s an “Authentic Frankensteinway,” and Google can’t find me any reference at all to any such instrument, so I presume it’s one of a kind.
It has to be the most cumbersome and outright absurdly designed musical instrument I’ve ever seen. I don’t think you could possibly get it into any position where it wasn’t extremely uncomfortable to play. Some of the keys didn’t work because the levers simply didn’t reach all the way to the strings, and the keys that did work made incidental noises that were louder than the notes they produced. As you might expect from the look of it, it sounded like a giant autoharp. It was also terribly out of tune, but presumably that could be fixed.
I kind of love it. There’s a strange, perverse beauty to its clunky inelegance. I wish I had thought to ask the shop owner what its story was. Next time, I guess - even if it’s gone on my next visit I expect he’ll remember it.
If any interested Portlanders are reading this, you can stop by Really Good Stuff and get your very own Frankensteinway for $300.