i like the way your mouth tastes, your tongue & your lips numbed by smoke while your eyes remain alive but closed as you taste me too. it’s given me not an addiction, but an affinity for cigarettes. so, kiss me while ashes fall between us. the earth is on fire around you & me anyway.
—  nicotine for the mentally ill // there’s scientific reason behind our craving for it
ASTROLOGY: who are you attracted to?

Most people think attraction has to do with sun sign. Everyone’s heard: “If you’re an Aquarius, date a Gemini or a Libra!” This is due to the fact that mainstream astrology does not consider other factors besides your sun sign, and most people believe this. But actually, this is not true, because most of the time sun-sun compatibility has little importance - no more than giving a general vibe that the relationship would give off. Instead, we should really focus on connecting energies between two charts. Read my post here about how compatibility really works.

Here are some common connections that indicate attraction between two people. It says that they must be in the “same sign”, but note that if the two placements are conjunct the bond is even more powerful.

SUN/MOON - 1st person’s sun in the same sign as the 2nd person’s moon:

  • both people feel like they’ve found their other half
  • the moon person looks up to the sun person
  • the sun person helps the moon person shine
  • there is an ease with each other that is very natural
  • both people “make sense” to each other
  • both have a similar attitude towards life

SUN/ASCENDANT - 1st person’s sun in the same sign as the 2nd person’s ascendant:

  • the two people are very similar
  • there are many common interests
  • they both view life in a similar way
  • the sun person likes the energy that the ascendant person naturally gives off
  • the ascendant person feels like they can be themselves with the sun person
  • self-expression is easy and harmonious together

MOON/MOON - having the same moon sign: 

  • this is a powerful, soulmate-like relationship
  • both people feel a sense of security
  • the other person feels “familiar” somehow
  • sharing feelings is easy and natural
  • both are very sensitive to each other’s feelings and needs
  • there is an intense emotional bond, sometimes overwhelmingly powerful
  • one can read the other like a book

MOON/ASCENDANT - 1st person’s moon in the same sign as the 2nd person’s ascendant:

  • both people feel understood by each other
  • the moon person feels at ease expressing their feelings
  • the ascendant person feels understood by the moon person
  • there is a natural emotional connection
  • both are aware of and receptive to the other’s feelings

ASCENDANT/ASCENDANT - having the same ascendant sign:

  • both people feel very comfortable with each other
  • both people sense a similarity in the way that they project themselves to the world
  • both have many shared values and similar attitudes
  • both are attracted to the other’s self-expression

SUN/VENUS - 1st person’s sun in the same sign as the 2nd person’s venus: 

  • the sun person is the venus person’s “type”
  • the sun person feeds off of the venus person’s love
  • both people give and receive much affection
  • the venus person values everything the sun person represents
  • the sun person appreciates the venus person’s expression

MOON/VENUS - 1st person’s moon in the same sign as the 2nd person’s venus:

  • the venus person makes the moon person feel comfortable
  • both care a lot for each other
  • both share a lot of values when it comes to a relationship

ASCENDANT/VENUS - 1st person’s ascendant in the same sign as the 2nd person’s venus:

  • the ascendant person embodies what the venus person finds attractive
  • the ascendant person appreciates the love the venus person gives
  • both are sensitives to each other’s needs and want to please each other

VENUS/VENUS - having the same venus sign:

  • both people are magnetically drawn to each other
  • there is an appreciation for each other’s personal style/aesthetic
  • both sense a similarity in each other’s romantic expression
  • both naturally understand each other’s romantic needs and satisfy them

VENUS/MARS - 1st person’s venus in the same sign as the 2nd person’s mars:

  • there is a sense of romantic chemistry
  • the venus person is attracted to how the mars person asserts him/herself
  • the mars person is attracted to the venus person’s charm and style

These are not the only indicators of attraction (there are many more involving asteroids or other points), but they are the most common ones involving personal planets. And also, having any of these connections does not guarantee a relationship will work out - they just give an indication of a strong connection between two people. There are both good AND bad sides to each of these connections, but here I’m showing the more positive side (meaning the reasons WHY you would feel the attraction in the first place). Having too many of these could potentially make a relationship overwhelming, while having only one might not be enough to keep a relationship going. It’s all about balance. :)

How to Attract the Signs

ARIES:

Let Aries know that you admire them, they thrive of admiration and followers. Let them know that you love their zest for life and that you find them intriguing, they love compliments more than most other astrology signs of the zodiac.

Compliment them physically and mentally, they like conversations about intellectual topics and engage them in a lively discussion, or a friendly debate. They love the challenge and the stimulation of good, intelligent conversation. Ask them for advice, let them know that you look up to them.

Remember, Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the most forward and independent, they love followers. Do not be a push over, do not keep your opinions to yourself because Aries will quickly get bored if you agree with everything they say. Do not attempt to control them however, they do not like taking orders. Aries are very capable people so if you go with their plans, you are sure to have a good time! If they have a suggestion for something to do, go with the flow, they like to be in control of what goes on.


TAURUS:

Do not attempt to rush into a relationship with Taurus. They are very patient and expect you to be so too. Make them laugh, if they are amused and entertained by you, they will enjoy being with you. The way to a Taurus’ heart is through their stomachs. Cook for them or offer to take them to a fine upscale restaurant. Taurus enjoy talking about finance, business, money and material possessions.


GEMINI:

Love to talk, that is the first rule about impressing a Gemini. Be knowledgeable about that you talk about too because Gemini are intelligent and have lots of knowledge about many things. If you are an expert on a certain topic, teach them about it, you will impress them because this know-it-all sign does not usually know fine details about a lot of things, they are too busy to bother to learn. Speak your mind, engage them in a friendly debate but never be too conservative, they find this dull. Be honest and loyal to a Gemini, once they have had their trust broken they usually will never get it back again. Gemini are easy to date, they will do any activity anywhere. Just have fun, like you would with friends because that’s what Gemini are, a great friend.


CANCER:

You must be direct, Cancer will not. Let your feelings for them be known, this is the first step to initiating a relationship with a Cancer. This way, will not have to risk rejection, one of their biggest fears. If you are looking for a short fling, be straight with them. Do not lead them on to thinking there is long term commitment is there is none because you will hurt these emotionally delicate people.

Trust is the most important. Build trust with them and they will gradually get closer to you. Give them approval and compliments but be careful because they will easily sense when you are complimenting them just for the sake of it. Be sincere. Ask Cancer for advice, share your problems (but don’t burden them), they enjoy helping people and giving advice.

They like culture and lavish experiences. Take them to a play or museum and a fancy, upscale restaurant. Do not force Cancer into a relationship or make them make a decision on the spot. They will shy away from you. Have patience, this is the key to attracting a Cancer. Be physical with them, they love genuine affection. They are very cautious and as time passes, they will slowly grow closer to you and you will have wonderful, fulfilling relationship.


LEO:

Admiration is key. Admire them and they will be yours. Leo is a fairly easy sign to attract they are very receptive to advances and come-ons. Give them compliments, dish them out in handfuls because Leos never think a compliment can go too far. Even if you are faking it, they don’t care, the simply love the attention. Be funny, Leos love to be entertained and they love to laugh. If you can make them laugh, you’re good! Leos like the grand things in life, treat them to a lavish dinner or a cultural upscale event. Always have the best of the best and never try to offer them second rate. They think nothing is too good for them, they like everything posh so dress classy and nice, and have a good night on the town with the charming Leo!


VIRGO:

Virgos need intellectual stimulation. Impress them with facts and details. Always try to come to conclusions when having a conversation, they do not like topics that go nowhere, they like conversations to come to a close or consensus, even if you agree to disagree. They are very conventional people so do not do anything spontaneous or force them to make a hasty decision, they take their time and think intensely in their mind. They are not slow, their brain is working evaluating everything. Do not attempt to probe inside their mind because their emotions are pretty much closed off until the relationship is solid, and they will decide when that time will be. Virgos are natural worriers, do not let this get to you. Do not give them cause to worry because this makes them get wound up like a spring. Let Virgo take the lead, they like to be in control of what is happening. Keep the date tasteful and do not be vulgar, they like calm and classy surroundings and people.


LIBRA:

Libras are easy to attract, they probably have attracted you first with their easygoing nature. First and foremost, admire and flatter them. Treat them like a prince or princess. Libras love to talk, they can talk about anything but are especially interested in themselves. Want to leave a lasting impression on a Libra? Ask questions about them and talk about their interests, hobbies, anything regarding them. Even though Libras are diplomatic, they enjoy seeing things from other points of view. Engage in a light debate about an issue exploring both sides and the conversation will flow. Dress nice, keep the atmosphere posh and upscale and clean your house before they come over for the first time. First impressions are lasting for Libras. Have fun, be yourself, you are almost guaranteed a good time with the easygoing, interesting Libra.


SCORPIO:

Never be fake with a Scorpio, they can see it a mile away. Be genuine with your comments and listen to them attentively, (they always have something interesting to say so this is never a problem!) Do not try to hide things from them or tease them, they always have to know what is going on. Remember, they are the only ones that are allowed to tease and present the mystery and intrigue! They like frankness and honesty, speak your mind they will respect that. Scorpios are interested in almost all activities, so finding something to do should never be a problem. They are unpredictable and could change the course of the date mid-way though so take these last minute changes with a smile and try something different. They like people who are not afraid to ditch a plan and try another. In conversation, do not tell them that their opinions are wrong or shoot them down, they are too proud for this and even if it is a joke, they might not take it with the humour that you meant. Never try to control them but do not be the damsel in distress either, they like strong, real people with driving ambitious personality like theirs.


SAGITTARIUS:

Talk to them, ask them questions about themselves, share stories, make them laugh, but do not pry into intimate details about their life. Keep your emotional distance and they will be attracted to you. Easy. Suggest an outdoor date, something wild and wacky like floating on a boat down the river then having a picnic by the riverside, anything. They love activities. These are the easiest people to get a date with but don;t think that this is written in stone, they are the biggest commitment phoebe of all zodiac signs. Enjoy the time you’ve spent with Sagittarius and be prepared to move on or at least share them with others because they will be doing the same. All in good fun.


CAPRICORN:

Make them laugh, they tend to be melancholy so anyone who can make them laugh is appreciated. Talk about anything but do not pry into their emotions. They do mind listening to yours, however. When Capricorn feels safe, they will let some of their cats out of the bag.

Talk about serious topics, things that matter and avoid unconventionality, they are very conventional people and do not like shock-topics. They like to be connected to on an intellectual level. They like gifts, not gaudy and expensive but practical and useful. Keep it high class, they do not like second-rate gifts or dates for that matter. Plan an upscale date to an art gallery, theatre or fancy restaurant.

Never be late. Capricorns are very punctual and live by a schedule and they do not like to be kept waiting, it shows irresponsibility. Be patient with Capricorn, underneath that aloof, indifferent outside lies a physical, passionate loyal person that will come out when the time is right, once you have proven yourself.


AQUARIUS:

Communication is key. You must be able to stimulate their minds, engage in a friendly, witty verbal battle but do not expect to come to any conclusions, this is not the point. They crave the brain exercise. If you unable to keep up with the intellect and the unconventional ways that Aquarius is known for, you might want to look elsewhere.

Aquarius needs communication compatibility more than anything else. Have variety in your dates, think of interesting things to do like a trip to the zoo, but if you can’t think of any crazy idea, leave it up to Aquarius to make plans but do not be surprised if they change the plan in the middle, be flexible like them. They do not like naggers or complainers so keep the talk positive and all should be well.


PISCES:

Talk about spirituality, the occult, astrology, anything that is out of reach of the real world. They will easily get lost in a good conversation. Although they are attracted to people with severe problems who desperately need help, this actually does more harm them good. Even though Pisces will offer to make everything right, do not allow them to take on all your problems because they will lose their identity in your situation. They need a strong positive partner to make them strong. Pisces like adventure, new situation and social events and will be up to doing almost anything that you suggest. Make them laugh, they are usually melancholy and will be impressed if someone has the ability to make them laugh. They are not very conservative people so do not be afraid to talk about unconventional or strange things and tell them odd jokes, they will be impressed by that. They are suckers for flattery give them compliments and tell them in a roundabout way that you admire them. Be sensitive, generous and gentle, make them feel comfortable with you and make them feel good about themselves and all will be smooth sailing!

anonymous asked:

How to know if you are actually atracted to guys or you are just brainwashed through heteronormativity letting you believe you have to give guys a go because you have some kind of connection?


This is such a good question and it’s really important for any woman questioning their orientation/attraction. I’m going to explain the difference using three specific examples of times when attraction gets confusing, but there are a ton of different ways compulsory heterosexuality manifests, so if none of these hit on what you’re feeling, feel free to shoot me another anon. 

Attraction vs. Compulsory Heterosexuality

  1. Nervousness and Blushing

    A ton of romance media and common cultural tropes have this idea that you know you’re attracted to someone if you’re nervous or blushing around them. Because of this, you might feel like you must be attracted to a man if you feel nervous around him, just because you’re experiencing the physical bodily response you’ve been told to expect, not because you actually want to date him. 

    Actual Attraction: You’re nervous because you’re excited to get to know someone. You find them attractive first and because you’re thinking about your attraction to them, you get self conscious because you hope they might like you too. 

    Compulsory Heterosexuality: You’re nervous because you are aware that he is attracted to you, and because he’s paying such close attention to you– especially if he’s pushing boundaries or getting too close into your personal space– you become self conscious because you know he’s watching you. You blush because you’re uncomfortable. 


  2. Hypothetical Attraction

    Many questioning women have a hard time sorting through their attraction because of hypotheticals. Our culture, in general, disregards or challenges wlw’s attraction and it gives this anxiety that we need to know 100% that we are not and will never be attracted to men no matter what in order to claim labels.

    It’s hard to do that as a young person who is just learning about themselves, flooded with “what if”s about the future. Because of this, you might feel like you can’t rule out being attracted to men because you might hypothetically be attracted to one someday. Who knows?

    Actual Attraction: You imagine a hypothetical future where you end up with a man and it feels exciting and makes you feel good and hopeful and happy and right. It’s a nice feeling and is comfortable to think about. Reassuring. 

    Compulsory Heterosexuality: You imagine a hypothetical future where you end up with a man and it makes you feel uncomfortable, scared, sad, disappointed, wrong. It’s an upsetting thing to think about and you hope it doesn’t happen. You don’t want to end up with a man even if you feel like you could. 


  3. Sexual Fantasies

    Our culture places a big emphasis on sex when it comes to orientation. Some people’s orientation includes sexual attraction and some people’s orientation doesn’t, but most of us feel like our sexual fantasies are the most important indicator of non-straight sexuality because LGBPQ+ people have been so thoroughly reduced to sexual acts and sexual objects in the homophobic culture we’ve grown up in.

    Along with that, we’ve also grown up in a heteronormative and cisnormative society that repetitively teaches and reemphasizes the same singular sexual “script” for how sex is supposed to go, over and over and over. They do not teach any others, and it requires non-straight and non-cis people to invent their own sexual scripts individually and with partners.

    But as a young person, when you’re aroused, your mind has a very limited template of potential narratives associated with that feeling, so many people default to the same heteronormative script in their fantasies because it’s unconscious and easy. Because of this, you might feel like you must be attracted to men because you imagine abstract situations of sex with men, even though you have absolutely no desire to sleep with men in real life. 

    Actual Attraction: When you fantasize about men, it is because you’re attracted to their bodies or specific men or the idea of having sex with men. You imagine qualities of their body and you like the idea of what you’re imagining. If you think about the fantasy later that day, you might feel like it’s embarrassing, but you also feel like it’s sexy. 

    Compulsory Heterosexuality: When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features– the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. You don’t really like the idea of what you’re imagining. You might not even be in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. If you think about it later that day, you might feel vaguely nauseated or uncomfortable or feel invalidated and wrong. 

It’s really difficult to unroot compulsory heterosexuality. My simplest advice on getting through it is this: even if you are attracted to men, you do not need to date them if you don’t want to. If you only want to date other women, then you have the right to that. The rest is less important than the simple reality of what you want right now. 

Your mind is like a magnet. Depending on what you think, you will then attract into your life. Be mindful of what thoughts go through your head, for you never know what they’re drawing towards you.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
People like you don’t notice girls like me. You’re the type of person to play sports and hang out with large group of people, whereas I’m the type of person to hang out with a few friends and read a book. Some say opposites attract, but not in my case.
—  opposites attract // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #9
The Zodiac Signs When Seeing a Crush

Stammers when talking to the person (”Um, I…”), runs away if they weren’t seen: Cancer, Virgo

Babbles about random topics: Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, Pisces

Stares quietly: Taurus, Scorpio, Aquarius

Acts louder/more intelligent and more conceited: Aries, Leo, Capricorn

The Zodiac Signs When Noticing a Particularly Attractive Person in Public

Dodges the person by ducking into a building: Aries, Virgo, Capricorn, Aquarius

Stares for a few seconds, and maybe fixes their appearance to make sure they look fine before moving on: Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius

Goes out of their way to strike up a conversation, bump into them, or even just cross the person’s path: Leo, Pisces

Descendent signs 🌟

The 7th house aka your descendent represents what you will be attracted to, it is generally opposite your rising sign. For example my rising is Aires and my descendent is libra. I am definitely always attracted to a librian energy but also all the air signs(Gemini, Aquarius, libra).

Descendant in Aries (Ruled by Mars)

You are drawn to courageous individuals who have no difficulty asserting themselves. Your partner may appear as an athletic individual or entrepreneur. While your Libra rising can make you indecisive and diplomatic, you may be drawn to a partner who either helps you make decisions or makes them for you.

Descendant in Taurus (Ruled by Venus)

You are drawn to a stable partner who may be more practical and grounded than your Scorpio rising sign. You may impulsively jump into one relationship after another and eventually settle into an enduring and stable one. Your partner may be a provider or enjoy cooking for you with a demonstrated depth of sensuality.

Descendant in Gemini (Ruled by airy Mercury)

You are drawn to an inquisitive partner who may retain a youthful appearance. Sagittarius rising can lead you in search of greener pastures so it is not uncommon to have more than one partner at a time. Your partner appears to be very communicative and sociable and you may share conversations well into the early morning hours.

Descendant in Cancer (Ruled by the Moon)

Your Capricorn ascendant makes you slightly reserved in seeking a partnership and Cancer on the Descendant describes a homebody. You may be drawn to those who mother you in some way. Both Capricorn and Cancer prefer a less social lifestyle and enjoy time spent at home, cooking and building a wonderful nest.

Descendant in Leo (Ruled by the Sun)

You are drawn to a very dramatic partner who appears benevolent and full of character. Your Aquarius ascendant can lead you to explore unusual partnerships but your partner’s devotion, chivalry and knack for creating the perfect romantic evening can rescue you from your highly analytical perch.

Descendant in Virgo (Ruled by earthy Mercury)

You are drawn to a partner who appears organized and analytical with a wry sense of humor. Your Pisces ascendant might make it difficult for you to understand who you are let alone what you want. It may be that your partner provides a sense of routine or brings you an element of groundedness that is attractive to you.

Descendant in Libra (Ruled by airy Venus)

You are drawn to a refined and elegant individual who is charming and graceful. Your Aries rising can lead you from one adventure to another and your partner may ask just the right questions that lead you to lay down roots. Descendent in Libra describes a committed and loyal partner.

Descendant in Scorpio (Ruled by Pluto)

You are drawn to a partner who appears very intense and may prod you through deep transformational experiences. Your Taurus rising can make you slow to reveal yourself and a bit rooted in making changes. Your partner’s commitment to achieve deep intimacy appeals to your Taurus sensuality.

Descendant in Sagittarius (Ruled by Jupiter)

You are drawn to a partner who enjoys sports, philosophy and the outdoors. Your Gemini rising can make it difficult for anyone to truly know you and your partner provides just the amount of lightness and lack of routine that appeals to you. Long discussions into the night is suggested by this placement.

Descendant in Capricorn (Ruled by Saturn)

You are drawn to an ambitious and practical individual who values honesty over intense emotional expression. Your Cancer rising can make you behave like a mother to others and your mate appreciates your stability and desire to provide a comfortable nest.

Descendant in Aquarius (Ruled by Uranus)

You are drawn to unusual people who help you validate your own uniqueness. Your Leo rising can make you quite dramatic and romantic although your partner may operate more in the mental realms and won’t be overly emotional. There may be something unusual about how you approach relationships and your partner appreciates your open minded attitude.

Descendant in Pisces (Ruled by Neptune)

You are drawn to sensitive individuals who appreciate the value of family and roots. Your Virgo rising can make you want to jump in and organize your partner’s life. Your desire for routine provides stability for your partner who helps you dig deeper into intimacy where you may often bury your emotions in a highly analytical approach to life.

(Cafeausoul)