Attack-helicopter

Online Safety 101:

> before u agree to see a naked girl on a camsharing site, ask her what her favorite pokemon is. If she keeps doin a sales pitch shes a bot, the site wants ur credit card

> any site thats supposedly free as dirt but wants ur card number anyways is fucking lying m8. Theyre gonna take the money and run.

> that random fuckin chick who wants to give u a business deal if u just follow the link she just sent is a fuckin liar, block her

> in general, any randomass person who wants u to do a thing after u click a link is probably tryinga pull a scam. Why tf do they keep doing this when will they learn

> if ur seein a website thats sellin posters and pillows and mugs of EVERYONES artwork, even the crayon doodles of a fuckin nobody from deviantart, that site’s lying. Its a honeypot they want to get ur personal info when u file a dmca claim

> if u see a blog with a weirdass name do some Sexual Robot shit on a random ass post fuckin block it before it snatches ur selfies to peddle its scam

> but before u do that check the blog to see if it has some other schmuck’s selfie and then report that shit to tumblr asap. Also find the original user if u can reverse image search successfully, and give them a follow cuz they’ll need it.

> become deeply familiarized with the rhetoric and terminology used by mras, nazis, other assorted white nationalists, terfs, and 4channers, so when the discourse hits, you’re gonna know exactly what’s up, and u wont fall for some cheap bait like “my gender is attack helicopter stop triggering me u genderist” or fuckin whatever they pretend sjws say these days.

> if a stupid goddamn troll wont leave u the fuck alone, start with rickrolls and BOFA jokes, and if that doesn’t work, start quoting old fuckin youtubes like charlie the unicorn, and if the troll STILL wont block your ass start Literally Copy-Pasting The Last Sentence They Sent U until they’re annoyed and give up. Congrats u just beat a troll. Now report them to tumblr.

> if u start getting weird hyperlinks under every other word in ur webbrowser and when u mouse over it some random shit tangentially related to the word pops up? That shits a terrible goddamn annoying ass virus and ya gonna have to purge it from ur computer manually by runnin into the registry and the hidden files and deleting everything even remotely related to it. It doesn’t take ur info or anything its just annoying as fuck and is a goddamn cockroach

Next time some 4Channer hits you with that "So I can identify as X?" gotcha

Just say yes, but they’ll be treated as X because we respect identities.

“Attack helicopter? Okay…but attack helicopters can’t vote or own property, and you’ll be sent into warzones for no pay.”

“Cat? Fine…no vote or job and you can only own property if it’s bequeathed to you and even then a lawyer will be in charge of it. And if you go outside without a collar, there’s a chance animal control will pick you up and 100% legally kill you after a week.”