Asexuals can have dysphoria!!!! This can be about perceived ‘sexy’ bodies. This can be about having ‘sexual’ organs. Nothing is sexual if you don’t want it to be! 

If you’re asexual and suffer from sexual dysphoria you are valid! Your body doesn’t have to be a sexual one! You do not have to be a sexual creature! 

Reminder that people will frequently take blatant troll posts, even ones from years ago that had no support, and use them as justification for saying nasty shit about aces and aros as if aces and aros all share an evil ideology with each other instead of a (definitely not privileged) identity/orientation.

Reminder a lot of people will jump at the chance to spread lies and misinformation about us that can be used to portray us as horrible and clueless, and that with how many people have been demonizing and painting us as worse ppl than others, the sheer amount of shitty people who’ve outright wished harm on us is less surprising than it could be.

Reminder that anyone who talks about “ace tumblr” like we’re not a diverse group of actual people is not to be trusted.

youtube

Hey guys! We’ve got a new VHS Tape out and in honor of Pride month, we asked two very lovely humans about asexuality and their experiences. If you have any other questions Tilley and Sarah are more than happy to answer them.


<3

Famous Canonical A-Spec Characters P.2

(First Post Here!)

Maya, a playable character from global-renown videogame franchise Borderlands.

Albus Dumbledore, a major character in the legendary Harry Potter franchise, stated to be asexual in his later years.

Originally posted by harry-potter-world-forever

Valentina “Voodoo” Dunacci, a side-character in the TV show Sirens.

Victoria Hawking, the hero protagonist in a new, acclaimed British screenplay Mrs Hawking, about a widow who acts as an undercover paragon of justice for fellow London women.

GUESS WHAT EVERYONE!!!

A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+
A-SPECS ARE VALID AND EXIST AND ARE LGBT+

archiveofourown.org
My Own Desert Places - MemoryDragon - DC Animated Universe [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Batman had been making himself scarce since the media storm started, but he shows up for an interstellar mission when no one else could go. Clark just wishes he knew what to say to fix things, but that can wait until after the mission.

Unfortunately unfriendly aliens, crash landings, falling trees, and the freezing cold makes everything much more difficult. Now Clark can only hope they can stay alive long enough for the rest of the League to find them. There are worse times to have a heart to heart with his best friend, right?

(There is a much worse time. Figures that’s when Bruce would stop avoiding it.)

I was going through a bit of a rough time a little while ago, and decided to try to find a community/fest, because having other people to talk to and encourage always helps. I’m aro/ace, and was a bit exhausted from writing so much romance in my last fandom. I thought it’d be nice to go back to the start with a new fandom, where I wouldn’t have to force a romance if I didn’t get that far. I found a big bang fest that looked like it would work for me, as I had an idea I’d put on the back burner a while back for those two characters. The rules said nothing about gen (only relationships, which the relationship was the primary focus for that idea, even if ambiguous on romance), so I sent the mods a message asking if that was okay. Most fests I’ve been in tend to accept gen, or really any fic so long as it’s within the proper fandom and/or characters, so I wasn’t expecting a no.

I was told no. I was told romance was the only thing they accepted, though pre-slash was okay. Pre-slash still implies romance though. When I spoke with the mods directly to clarify, I told them I was aro/ace and uncomfortable with trying to force a romance at the moment. I was told once again, no. It had to be romantic, but I could post during amnesty week with all the late people and no chance to be matched for art, because they were a small fest and always welcomed new people. I was told they had nothing against gen fic, some of them even wrote it from time to time! This was just not the place for it. So I could either force myself to pretend to not be aro because they could sometimes write fic with no romance, or I could give them free advertising by posting with them, but no matter how hard I worked on my fic, it would never be worthy of actually being part of the fest. They were all very polite about it. I just had no space in their little group.

I left feeling broken. Like if I could only be normal for once, I could have a space there. I had already started writing a bit, but even before the fic was more than three pages, before anyone knew what the plot was, it was denied.

Things got worse before they got better, but when I got my head above the water, I knew the fic had to change. I couldn’t stop writing it, because then I’d be silenced. I also couldn’t keep writing it as it was, because every word hurt. So I kept the plot I had planned from the start, then added Batman being outted as Ace. It was going to add roughly 10k to the word count, but I’d seen so much aphobia recently that it needed a place to go. Every word still hurt, but it now had a reason to.

This fic is to say I’m here. I’m not silent. And because it’s no longer for a fest, I could and did add more characters for team feels. Friendship is a valid and important relationship, more important to me than romance ever could be. And friendship is just as deep and meaningful as anything a romantic pairing could be. So there’s no romance in this fic, though there’s a few ambiguous relationships you’re welcome to take however you like. There’s no art for the fic, because I wasn’t allowed in the group as I was, but the story won’t be erased because of that.

I’m not broken.

probably one of the best ways i can explain asexuality to someone is with an art museum metaphor

You look at any painting at a museum, and you can say that they all look good or that some aren’t to your tastes- because some are more aesthetically pleasing than others- and you might wish that they were real so that you could talk to them and see what secrets they know- but most don’t walk into an art museum thinking that they want to go and screw the art. 

 for me, looking at girls is like looking at a bunch of paintings at a museum. pretty much every girl ive ever seen is aesthetically pleasing, and since theyre people i can actually get to know them and develop romantic feelings. but much like a painting in a museum, no matter how gorgeous she is, i dont feel any sexual attraction, and thats all there is to it.

anonymous asked:

How can I come out to my family about being ace without it sounding like it's a "phase"?

I’m autistic and blunt af. So I tend to approach these topics as “I am asexual. If you don’t know what that is I am willing to teach you.” And if they respond with anything condescending or invalidating I tend to highlight that. for example, “You’re implying my identity is a phase. That’s invalidating, and I won’t talk to you about this if you are going to behave that way.” or “You are being condescending, and rude. I will not talk about this with you until you stop behaving that way.” Hopefully, your family members will be open to listening instead of jumping to invalidation. 

If they are open to listening, then I recommend you ask them, “What do you think it means?” or “What do you think it’s like to be me?” (It also pushes them into an empathetic perspective which can help) listen to their answers, and then help correct misconceptions. I’ve found that correcting misconceptions early make a huge difference in the long run.

Also I recommend you keep it focused on your experiences. What I mean is that if they ask about (for example) “But you’ve had a partner before?” you can say “For me that’s because______.” Instead of the more broad “For some aces it’s okay because______, and for other aces_________, but for me it’s because _______.” That tends to be too much info from my experiences (I’ve made the mistake of infodumping.. ends up being counter productive). Also I recommend you isolate each family member and talk to them individually (if possible). That way it avoids tangents, or mob mentality from forming. There’s also the possibility that the opposite could occur. In the first coming out to my mother she smiled and nodded her head. and asked two questions, then never talked about it again. In the following months she did some super invalidating things because it turns out she didn’t understand, and i had to come out to her another two times. It happens. Everyone is different. So my advice is generalized, from my experiences. Obviously, do what you feel is safest, and within your capabilities. 

Also I dont want to assume your perspective, so I’m going to remind you that you are never obligated to come out, even to family, unless it’s something you want to do. Good luck, and remember, no matter how they respond you are who you are. You know yourself better than anyone else. Their internal prejudices are their personal problem, and you are not required to fix it for them. <3 (p.s. i would love to know how it goes)

anonymous asked:

(1/5) Friends telling you “maybe you haven’t found the right guy” or “how do you know if you have never had sex?” when you tell them you’re asexual, it just sucks. I’m 29 and I haven’t really felt sexually attracted by anyone. I’ve had crushes, I love RDJ ♥and many other actors, but it’s just not the same. I’ve always felt there was something different in me, I’ve had opportunities to date guys and I’ve done it, but I just haven’t managed to feel something for them, not even when I thought...

(2/5) there was a “spark” between us. Sometimes I felt I did feel something for them, but now that I read what an “squish” is, I’m sure that’s what I felt, because once those people became my friends, I was “satisfied”. I’ve kissed people just to know what it is. Last year I thought I have finally fallen for a guy. I found him physically attracted and I liked his personality. The only problem was, he was married. He knew I was a virgin. He proposed we had sex. After 28 years old I felt …

(3/5) I could have sex with someone (every time I thought about having sex with one of the guys I was dating, the idea disgusted me) But with this guy I was willing to do it. I know it was morally incorrect, I knew he was married, but I was so happy because I thought I was capable of feeling something for someone that I didn’t care, so I agreed (after all, it wa just going to be a night-stand thing, no feelings involved)…

(4/5) We went to a hotel, he took a shower while I stayed in the room watching TV, and then the kissing started, and the touching, and well, I wasn’t turned on at all. I was even watching the TV while he was all over me, and at the end, he wasn’t even able to get an erection, so, I’m still a virgin. At the end, I didn’t really feel anything for him, again, once he became my friend, I felt OK. I even hang out with him once in a while….

(5/5) I’m still unsure whether I’m asexual or not, I do have a fetish and that kind of turns me on, but when other guys with the same fetish try to hit on me, I just don’t like it, especially when they make it all sexual. If I read like really hardcore yaoi fanfics, I can get turned on too. So, how can you know you’re asexual? Or getting arouse by those things doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not asexual? Sorry for asking you this, but you seem to have a bit more experience with this, more than me

Don’t apologize, anon. Sexuality is a really murky area and it’s hard to find your footing. I still struggle with it a lot myself.

Having a fetish doesn’t have anything to do with your sexuality. Same goes with being aroused. If you watch porn and you get aroused, that doesn’t make you not asexual. For example, when I watch porn I’m more interested in the emotional side of things as opposed to the actual physicality of having sex (i.e., sex is actually super unsexy and I’m bored if all I can see is tab b going into slot a) and the same thing could be happening to you too.

Lots of asexuals have sex. Sex is fun (I hear) and relaxing (I’m told), so not having sex =/= being asexual. If you have never experienced sexual attraction, that means you’re asexual. Since it sounds like you you did find that one person sexually attractive, could you be grey asexual? Or maybe even demisexual? Or possibly lith/akoisexual? There are many terms under the asexual “umbrella” that you may feel more comfortable identifying with, and it’s really up to you to make the decision as to which one best suits you.

I also wanted to draw your attention to aromanticism, which is separate from asexuality. That’s when you don’t feel romantic attraction towards anyone. I don’t know if that term fits you since you mentioned having crushes, but it may be worth a little investigation on your part just to see.