tfw the raging migraine you didn’t realize you were suffering through flips off like a switch and it’s like, hey, wait, that’s why I was so upset and grumpy and nervous and incoherent and unable to sleep and in so much pain for the last 36 hours.
Wow. Hi. Good morning. Afternoon. I feel like I blinked and everything just snapped into HD around me. There’s a little bird singing outside my window. What the heck.
My friends and I have spoken about it jokingly in the past, and after quite a nasty experience today I decided to go ahead with it and do what I said I would do a month ago when someone sent me a hateful message for doing commissions (I do remember @swiftofrph and I just bantering about it) I said I would post it and frame it saying “I made it!” so here it is.
Not only was this unnecessarily hurtful towards me, it fully displays what the RPH has come to. This was something someone sent to my graphics blog after I clarified one of my packages was for sale. As I consider myself a private person I keep myself from explaining my life situations and the things I do, but after all of this I believe it’s fair to clarify something real quick: I am a Venezuelan college student, my country is in a deplorable situation right now, my part time jobs just no longer call me in as they cannot pay for their employees (less than that, women, because of sexist reasons as per usual). There is a tuition I have to pay for, so as plenty of supplies I must get and endless lists of textbooks not to mention my online classes and the little of much I can help my parents with our house expenses. All I have right now is my education and my desires of coming through. There are a million things I could be doing, I could easily ask for funds and donations (which is not at all wrong, if you do) but I chose to do something that could bring joy to others, in this case, it was graphics.
I do not intend to be petty, I do not intend to start a witch hunt for this person as I don’t know who they are and I do not want to know who they are either. If they had their reasons, fine, but there are tons of different ways to word things, to me this felt as though someone took my situation and my country’s situation and rubbed it on my face. No, I do not force people to pay me, as a matter of fact, I have plenty of free resources and I’ve started to see them in the roleplay tags which brings me to great joy. What I am trying to say is: you should not, not ever, go and judge someone for the way they push themselves forward especially if it does not harm you. Yes, I do sell graphics to whoever asks for them and those who have been following me and my blogs know with further detail why I am doing it. No, I don’t want to play victim and list bit by bit the things that have got me collecting money for months now. It’s my education, it’s my life, it’s my future. And if I am not hurting you, if I am not actively offending you, you should not bargain into my inbox and shame me for it. Because at the end of the day, this is my profession, and upon consulting this with one of my professors they said that my time and creations were valuable.
Saying this, I address the person in particular who sent me this as I shall do just once: I do not hate you, nor do I dislike you, I just advise you to think things carefully before proceeding to send messages like these. Now you know why I do it, I am not asking you to applaud, I’m just asking you to respect this.
And to anyone else who is reading this keep in mind I do not pretend to start any drama, I’m just explaining myself and probably raising awareness. Not everyone is as privileged as you, and it does not matter if you are not “talented enough” or if someone else could do graphics “ten times better” than yours, if you are capable of doing something to put yourself out there and help yourself in a fair way, do it. And don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Anonymous hate is unacceptable, keep in mind there is a living, breathing, and feeling person on the other side of the screen. I decided to take this with humor and frame it, as I said I would, not to take any seriousness from the matter but to show whoever thought it was funny or pleasant to send me this, that I am not permanently affected by this. Love, kindness, and respect it’s what I stand for today and what I will stand for always. Thank you.
I went back to the gym again tonight. Decided to do another hour, but random times. Did 39 mins on the treadmill and 21 mins on a bike. There was a girl 3 bikes over who told me that I was working too hard and sweating too much. I think she felt sorry for me.
I was considering going back tomorrow morning, but my legs are too sore lol.