“I feel like my career has always been a slow burn. I’m a slow developer. I went to drama school very late. I’m not an impatient person. I’m very, very patient. And .. I’d actually rather have it when it’s right than too soon. As long as I’m fulfilled and it’s inspiring me, I’m very happy.” - Richard Armitage
I’ve come to realize that some people treat physical beauty and attractiveness like a positive character trait, and lack thereof is a negative character trait.
This has been driving me nuts lately.
On the quest for a new significant other, I’ve gotten a lot of messages from a lot of guys on dating websites, the first words of their messages telling me how attractive they think I am. While it is nice to receive such a compliment, it shows me that they’re so fixated on looks and that I’d do better to not associate with that person. I’d rather not have someone date me just because they think I’m attractive - I’d rather them be interested in what I have to offer as a person, to have them be interested in my heart, mind and soul rather than my face and anatomical structure. To try and combat this, I explicitly state on my profile for no one to message me if they haven’t read my profile. I also request that they not message me with anything that begins with stating their opinion on my attractiveness in the opening words of their message. What happens? Such messages keep flowing in. When you keep hearing people give you shallow compliments like that, they tend to lose their meaning.
This is why I also hate it when people don’t refer to me by name, instead using an adjective that describes my level of attractiveness; such as, “Hey, gorgeous,” or “Hey, beautiful”. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not be reduced to an adjective involved with my physical appearance. That’s simply degrading to me. When someone says that, it shows me how little they care about my heart, mind and soul.
And this automatic assumption that attractive people must be the best people at heart on the planet, while less attractive people are avoided like the plague is driving me up the wall.
I’m much more attracted to a person’s personality, intellectuality, talent, use of good manners and sensitivity than their looks.
Let me give you an example with one of my celebrity crushes. I don’t go weak at the knees when I hear and/or see Richard Armitage JUST because he’s very, very attractive. He has a lot of personality and character traits that I find extremely attractive. He’s highly intelligent, funny, sophisticated, gentlemanly, kind, and talented. His physical attractiveness is a bonus, not a requirement for me to be attracted to him. If he didn’t have those traits, my inclination to him wouldn’t be that deep or last that long. In fact, I would probably not have a crush on him at all.
Even the most unattractive person on the planet can have the most beautiful and desirable personality that exists. The hottest, most gorgeous person on the planet can have the ugliest personality and be the most despicable person that ever walked the face of the planet. Which would you go for? I don’t know about you,but I want less grief in my relationship with someone, regardless of how attractive or unattractive they are.