Marvel's Can't Man
  • Can't Man:I'm not Ant Man. I'm Can't man.
  • Person:oh. Well okay. Anyway, you NEED to save thos
  • Can't Man:I can't.
  • Person:sure you can you just gotta believe in yourself
  • Can't Man:I can't.
  • Person:Do it for me!
  • Can't Man:I can't.
  • Person:do it for the common good!
  • Can't Man:I can't.
  • Person:Do it for the white female love interest!
  • Can't Man:I caaaaaan't.
  • Person:what are your powers anyway?
  • Can't Man:I can't remember.
  • (Bomb detonates)
I want an Ant-Man show.

Hear me out.

It could be set like a mix of Gotham and Agent Carter. A teenaged Hank Pym (so set in the 1940s) and his best friend/pen pal (cause she’s always traveling and he might not stay in one home very long) Janet read the Captain America comics together and talk about them in their letters. Hank is fascinated by the science of Steve and Hydra and the military, while Janet studies the comic book fighting styles and practices it in real life.
Without telling one another, they each become experts, Janet in fighting and Hank in fringe science. Janet tries the superhero thing, taking out pickpockets in big cities and keeping vandals off historic monuments in the tourist places she’s always visiting. Hank avoids people (social anxiety) by working in a makeshift lab he keeps in a briefcase (and is by no means safe from a science perspective).
The pilot episode is Hank entering a scholarship science fair with a “new particle” he discovered. Janet visits him as a surprise and stumbles across a plot by /someone/ to become Pym’s legal foster parents so they’ll have access to his experiments. She tries to tell Hank, but he’s not concerned because “it’s just another house to live in”, so she has to truly become a super hero to save his melancholy ass.
The first season is Janet being the Wasp and Pym helping her by figuring out what Pym particles do and she’s the first to be a size-changing superhero. He becomes the Ant-Man when Janet gets her ass kicked and tells him she needs a sidekick to beat this particular bad guy because they’re in different countries again. Janet teaches Hank how to fight and when he’s in the field he learns what would really be useful and makes better hero-ing equipment because of it.

Idek I’m Pym Pal trash, don’t look at me.


look at this!