Hey there! Want to hate on women, but don’t want to lose followers? Never worry about your public perception again with the help of this handy dandy guide to acceptable misogyny!
1. Choose your target. In order for your misogyny to be acceptable, this woman must be successful, in the public eye, and preferably a member of one or more privileged groups (straight, white, etc.)
2. Pick your method of attack. Remember, in order for your misogyny to be acceptable, it has to be disguised behind some sort of social justice excuse.
Undeserving of success
3. If possible, use more than one method of attack. It’s always best to have multiple excuses for why a bitch needs to get taken down a peg.
Anne Hathaway: Fake, white, undeserving of success
Jennifer Lawrence: Fake, white, undeserving of success
Lady Gaga: Fake, white, undeserving of success, straight, liar*
Taylor Swift: Fake, white, undeserving of success, straight, promiscuous, liar
*Remember, your point of attack does not have to be true to be effective. Lady Gaga isn’t straight, but who the hell cares?
4. Make accusations aimed at the woman’s integrity or likability. These can be derived from your main points of attack, or unrelated.
“Anne Hathaway should just shut her giant mouth instead of pretending to care about rape culture. She’s just acting like she gives a damn so she can win the Oscar.”
“Jennifer Lawrence fell on purpose when she went to accept the Oscar because she thought it would make her seem ‘just like us.’ She’s so fake.”
“Lady Gaga’s straight and just using the LGBT community to make money! When she asked everyone to contact their senators and urge them to repeal DADT, it was a publicity stunt.”
“If Taylor Swift lived in 1916 instead of 2016, she’d have Kanye West lynched.”
5. Cheerlead anything negative that happens to this woman, no matter how immoral or even illegal. If you are called on this behavior, fall back on your previous attack points and accusations.
“Anne Hathway was too stupid to wear panties and now she’s pissed that the paparazzi got a shot of her vag lol”
“Jennifer Lawrence nudes got leaked fucking awesome serves her right”
“Gaga’s pretending to have lupus when everyone knows she just got fat what a loser”
“Kanye and Kim are heroes for secretly recording a phone call with that snake, her career is over forever”
This has been the first edition of the Acceptable Tumblr Misogyny Guide! Tune in next time when we discuss using Jill Stein as a shield so that you can claim you’re not sexist, it’s just that Shillary Cuntlin is the literal devil.
“I’m not going to tell anybody, not even Lilly. Lilly would NOT understand. NOBODY would understand. Because nobody I know has ever been in this situation before. Nobody ever went to bed one night as one person and then woke up the next morning to find out that she was somebody completely different.”
But it feels like there’s something else going on.
Like the hate has something to do with Swift appearing too eager to please, too earnest, too put-together, and too successful.
For some reason, when we as a public see too much of someone like that, we want to tear her down.
We’ve seen it happen before.
Back in late 2012 and early 2013, Anne Hathaway — an eager-to-please, earnest, put-together actor — had a very bad few months.
In December 2012, she won a Golden Globe and gave a very awkward acceptance speech.
“Um, oh my gosh,” she began. Then, in a stage whisper she said, “This is happening.”
Social media had a field day with that one. It was so cheesy. What a theatre kid.
Then came the Oscars. Due to a last minute screw-up by her designer,
Hathaway had to find a dress at the last minute. She found one. But it
had some very unfortunate stitching. The social media feedback was
brutal. A hashtag, #hathahaters, gained steam.
“When I see Anne Hathaway out in the world, I’m not into it. She’s like…
too good. She’s too nice, too attractive, in too good of shape, too
humble, too talented. With all those things, I should be obsessed with
her. But instead I’m just not. I’m oddly disconnected.
I watch her beautiful face do its talented acting and go — my my,
what a large beautiful mouth. I don’t like it. Look at those dark
beautiful eyes. I don’t like them. Listen to her skinny beautiful words.
I don’t like them. Shut up. Shut up, Anne Hathaway. I honestly don’t
know what it is. Maybe I’m jealous, but I don’t feel jealousy. I watch
her in outtakes, and I feel like she’s not a real person. She’s always
putting on accents and flittering around apologizing for mistakes that
she didn’t make, and I just don’t get it. I don’t find her perfection
charming. I find it annoying.”