Anna Breslaw

List of the Week: 5 YA books about fandom

Everybody is involved in a fandom, whether they refer to it as such or not. (After all, they might not consider it a traditional fandom, but there are no fans more intense than the fans of an American football team, down to cosplaying as the players.) But more traditional fandom experiences are usually based around a TV show or book, and since they influence how we act in real life, why shouldn’t they influence the characters in books we read?

Here’s a short list of five YA books whose characters and lives heavily involve their fandoms, whether it’s writing fanfiction or writing blog posts about the latest episodes.

For more on each book, or if you need a text-version / captioned version, visit the list on our main site. For more fun lists and all things YA lit, visit our website, follow us here and on Twitter, and subscribe to our weekly newsletter.

How to Get Over Someone

via The Hairpin

External image

- Get bangs
- Start a cockfighting ring
- Have a Roomba autonomous vacuum cleaner transplanted where your heart should be
- Google “little debbie zebra cakes nyc but where??”
- Delete ex’s number
- Throw cell phone into active volcano
- Every time you catch yourself thinking about ex, force yourself to stop by thinking about something else (He always smelled like chocolate chip cookies and I miss the way he used to look at mSTRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
- When shopping with friends, tell them you’re looking for a sundress that says “Fuck you, I look fucking hard as shit”
- Call a bunch of gyms to compare monthly membership fees, crunch some numbers, lose the piece of paper, eat a Zebra Cake
- Rebound with someone who says things like “I was really proud of my Tweet about bottle service”
- Get a dog
- Put a dog up on Craigslist under “free stuff”
- Post something super friendly and casual on ex’s Facebook wall, like:
HI
whathwahthwahhtat
aaaaaaarghaog2eyq3
help
feelings
I’m
WHHHYYYYY
how
are
your parents?
Pooping
fuuuuuuuUUUUUU
- Feel better, sort of
- Feel better!
- Run into ex
- Repeat

Anna Breslaw (Author) is relatively uncomfortable with feelings.

Wise Words from Anna Breslaw.

1. Leave your heels on during sex.
2. Dress like June Clever on date two.
3. Then dress like Annie Hal on date three.
4. Read The Story of O by Pauline Reage.
5. At a restaurant, lightly rub your foot under his pants leg.
6. For a whole week, give yourself two options: La Perla or commando.
7. Forget to be coy: who has the time?
8. See more burlesque shows.
9. After a quickie, be the one who gets up first. And leaves first.
10. On the dirty text: be more creative than “what are you wearing?”
11. Slow dance with him, pelvis-to-pelvis, on a rooftop in te spring or summer.
12. Stop reading Cosmo. Your job is to please you!
13. Stop flat-ironing your hair.
14. Take a lazy Sunday to hunt for vintage underthings.
15. Stop wearing pushups: instead, go for simple European-style lace bras.
16. Let him watch you masturbate.
17. Hold eye contact with an attractive man one extra moment more than you’re comfortable with.
18. Identify with the matador, not with the bull.
19. Drink more top-shelf whiskey.
20. Jump into the shower with him.
21. Remember that every woman is a combination of an Ayn Rand heroine and a sorority girl. But try to tip the scale to Ayn Rand.
22. Play vinyl records while you have sex.
23. Leave suggestive post-its for him in unexpected places…
24. Listen to more female rap legends.
25. If you and he are out socially, avoid him for most of the night…then let loose when you are alone.

The timing seems so right.

“Not to make this about Girls, but fuck the fact that in all of the bullshit fighting about the Girls girls, nobody mentioned how crappy it is that Shoshanna was the only virgin on television and she was a stereotypical, judgy, Sex & the City-obsessed Chia pet of self-hating catch phrases until she lost her virginity and is now allowed to Grow as a Character.”

-Anna Breslaw

6

Weekly YA Spotlight: A selection of the most anticipated new YA novels released this week (19/04 - 25/04)

Chasing the Stars by Malorie Blackman ✤ April 19th

Saving Montgomery Sole by Mariko Tamaki ✤ April 19th

Scarlett Epstein Hates it Here by Anna Breslaw ✤ April 19th

The Land of 10,000 Madonnas by Kate Hattemer ✤ April 19th

The Darkest Corners by Kara Thomas ✤ April 19th

In the Dark, In the Woods by Eliza Wass ✤ April 21st

Check out the rest of this month’s new YA releases here!

Anna Breslaw imagines a humorous plan for a viral marriage proposal.

5:30 A.M. — THE BIG ROCK IN CENTRAL PARK WHERE LAUREN AND I WENT ON OUR FIRST OKCUPID DATE – EXT.

Craft services will be set up. Bagels and coffee for everyone!

ADAM and JEN will blindfold Lauren and get her here. I’m not going to give you a line reading, because I think everything should be really loose, but if you could just play it really chill, like, “I guess we’re going to this rock or whatever.”

7:30 A.M. – OUTSIDE THE BODEGA WHERE LAUREN AND I FIRST KISSED – EXT.

We technically can’t go inside, but here is where MICHAELA and JON casually join. If you guys could play it like that part in “Goodfellas” when Michael Imperioli tells Joe Pesci to go fuck himself and then Joe Pesci shoots him, you know?

Photograph by Fatima Hilal Baskoylu/Getty

I Purged Half My Clothes And I Feel Amazing

_____

By Anna Breslaw_____ A lot of late-twenty-something women around me have been going through these really intense manic phases where they get rid of 75% of their clothes in a flurry. They wind up dragging three giant garbage bags to Buffalo Exchange, screaming “I FEEL SO LIGHT, YOU GUYS!!” to the sky. It is a really appealing idea: Tossing out half-baked former styles/personas you tried out when you were 23 and dumb, and really getting down to the clothes that are “you,” or at least the you you’d semi-aspirationally like to be. Kind of like molting (the difference being, birds did not impulsively purchase cheap feathers at Forever 21 that one day when they were depressed). The other big reason I have to do this is that I have no closets, just a weird storage crawlspace way up high in my living room that looks appropriate only for storing children’s bones. To compound this, my bedroom is smaller than a legal room size — I <3 NY!!!1 — so a dresser is about all that’ll fit in there. I eventually decided on pushing a bulky Ikea wardrobe up against a wall of the living room, and it served its purpose, but I hated the shit out of it and didn’t wear half of the things in it. ANYWAY: My wardrobe edit is slightly complicated because I’m not a minimalist. I really like different textures, patterns, colors, and mixing high/low stuff, and I knew I wasn’t going to suddenly adopt Chelsea Fagan’s #NeutralLife. I basically just wanted to keep the coolest things, make sure that said cool things are as coherent as possible, and get rid of the rest. But what is my style? What kind of woman am I? What kind of woman do I want to be?! Fortunately, my friend Nick, who does visual merchandising for Furla, came over and told me what kind of woman I am: Apparently my style is “Disheveled prim.” I then held up every single item of my clothing (except investments I knew I needed to keep, like a black Theory blazer) for his scrutiny. (For reference, this is Nick’s wardrobe):

THE FAT THAT GOT CUT: -Dresses I straight up do not wear. -A straight-up ABSURD amount of Ralph Lauren dress shirts and cable knit sweaters that I guess I bought when I forgot I was Jewish? What. -Uncomfortable high-waisted anything/remnants from 2008. -Sparkly “da club” tank tops purchased by an alien who briefly took over my body. -Giant thrift store sweaters that seemed like a good idea in college. (see also: Lounge/crappy home clothes that have accumulated to take up seventy drawers, only one of which is really necessary because how the fuck many promotional t-shirts does one need?) -Anything frilly. -Anything irreparably stained. -Extraneous jeans (e.g. old baggy-ass ones that were basically sweatpants). -Slightly lamer versions of something Nick/I liked better (e.g. the one grey striped shirt I do not wear as much as that other grey striped shirt). -Anything that looked, in Nick’s words, like “a Madewell basic.” Like chambray shirts, a chambray tunic, plaid shirts… things that looked perfectly fine on me, but things he said felt unsurprising, or like any other girl would wear them. THE HARDEST FAT TO CUT: -A red striped shirt my boyfriend once said (lied) that I looked like Jean Seberg in. -90% of my summer wardrobe. Summer took a real hit for some reason. (“You’re, um, a different girl in the summer,” shaded Nick.) I mean, I did have a Lauren Conrad tank top. That maybe was the lowest point. -My first-ever designer purse, from Coach, bought with my first paycheck from a high school job. :( -MY UGGS. I tried to fight it: “I just use them to commute in!” Nick would not have it. I feel really good about the molting. It was clear once the “cut” items were on the floor that it was remnants of styles I’d “tried out” and ultimately felt halfhearted about. And I am currently applying this to everything else I own, towels and bedsheets specifically. Then I will get down to the papers and other ephemera that is really hard and time-consuming to toss.  In conclusion, if you live in New York and want to get rid of clothes, you should call Nick and have him come over. Wine helps.

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I am bored at the desk at work, so I decided to look up some new books coming out to see if there were any I wanted to read. Of course, I found some, like I usually do…so I made a list! Let me know what books you’re excited about especially if they didn’t make it on my list! J

1. Scarlett Epstein Hates it Here by Anna Breslaw- It sounds like the old Harriet the Spy sort of trope with an added bonus of fanfiction….and I like that trope, so I’m all for this haha! Published: April: 19th

2. The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi-The plot of this book sounds fascinating, so I’m really hoping she pulls it off! I don’t know much about Indian mythology, so I can’t wait to get my hands on it. Published: April 26th

3. The Haters by Jesse Andrews- I enjoyed his first book, and I do like road trips. I think this book is going to have the same quirky humor as Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, so I’m definitely going to give it a shot. Published: April 5th

4. There Once Were Stars by Melanie McFarlane- I actually have been staying away from dystopian novels lately, but I like her title. I’ll give this one a try! Published: April 26th

5. Dreamers Often Lie by Jacqueline West – Yeah, she totally had me at this one with Shakespeare, but it sounds fascinating! Creepy cover too.

6. Emerge by Tobie Easton – I love the whole idea of mermaids, and I like the idea that the Little Mermaid apparently cursed them to be mortals….seems like an interesting concept that may turn out to be mainly just about the romance, but I still want to check it out. Published: April 19th

7. Lady Renegades by Rachel Hawkins – I actually also need to read the second one in this series, but I thought the first one was fun! I’ll finish it sometime this year! Published: April 5th

8. The Land of 10,000 Madonnas by Kate Hattener- This sounds so good! Backpacking through Europe and a sweet friendship connection- very excited! Published: April 19th

9. Heir to the Sky by Amanda Sun- This is very different from what I would normally pick up, but the concepts seems very different…and all the monsters are some of the interesting great ones like chimera and basilisk so what’s not to love! Published: April 26th

10. The Taming of the Drew by Stephanie Kate Strohm- Yeah, this one had me at the Shakespeare connection! Published: April 5th

There are probably like 20 more, at least, that I could add, but I am going to leave it at 10. What YA books are you excited about in April?

MAY 2016 BOOK HAUL

Writing my sisters’ papers is really rewarding