Angel's-Insanity

Semi-Hiatus.

I will be here on monday.
So many things passing throw my mind and I am feeling like shit.

Sorry guys, I love you all my friends and rp parterns, but I am not on the mood to roleplay for now…

Until the next week.


I am sorry.

ribbonsosweet raymesisthejackass loli-angel jesswess3ds insanely-crazy-world xkxnginkyx thegoodthebadandthedarkray (Amy sweetie we can still talk ooc, okay? your talking always makes me happy like nobody else does…)

missunxonjack asked:

i was having a kind of shitty night but your reaction to hayley's tweet made it better

You guys!!!  I am SQUEALING AND FLAILING and you all are enjoying my downward spiral into this mess ….

(I am glad I cheered you up tho I hope you feel better*HUGS*)

I had my first puff of a cigarette when I was ten years old...

It was my grandmother’s and she had left it in the ashtray while making a run into the gas station. Nobody saw, and I don’t believe I’ve ever told anyone until the creation of this blog. It’s funny to think about it now. I didn’t smoke for at least two years after that. It may have been longer.

The next time, I was with some old friends whom you can all address as Bri and Jaci. I was around the age of twelve, I think. Maybe younger. They slept at my house and, when my mother fell asleep, the three of us went outside with a couple of her cigarettes. They were originals,  roll-your-owns that, little did I know then, can never really compare to the rich, cool feeling of Marlboro menthols entering your lungs. Regardless, I was one of them, part of our rebellious trio even though they would have to return to their downstate home a week later. For that night, we were close as close could be, passing a cheap cigarette between us. I guess anything you steal is cheap, but I think you know what I mean.

The following morning, I woke up to my mother practically interrogating me. Which was funny, because none of the things she’d noticed had been my doing - my little brother, S, had been with us that evening. He wasn’t part of us, though, he was just the dumb kid that tagged along. In the end, Jaci and Bri didn’t rat on me - just themselves and S, so I got off without being in trouble. They tell me now that they didn’t get in that much trouble, but I have my doubts.

I smoked on and off for the next couple years, but it wasn’t consistent and it certainly wasn’t addictive at the time. It probably is now - I don’t care to dwell on that.

My ex-boyfriend, who at the time was five years older than my meek thirteen, was likely the cause of my smoking becoming a regular habit. I could go to his house, where his parents barely paid attention, and I could inhale cancerous fumes until eleven o’clock at night when I went home. This certainly isn’t the only toxic thing that went on in that particular relationship, which I’ll no doubt talk about in the future, but I find it funny now.  We dated for a year, and then we dated in secret for roughly another six months before I finally broke up with him for real. During those six months, he’d buy me packs of cigarettes and drive out to where I lived to give them to me. This fueled my fire, simultaneously giving me a reason to smoke and a reason to see him. I needed no more reasons to do either of those things. But once again, that relationship is a story for another day.

My smoking lessened without his giving them to me, but my mother has smoked for years, so I could still take those in the evenings. I guess it all worked out.

Now that I’m dating C, who smokes as well, I have a safe place to enjoy my habits again. Our mutual friend, an adult named J who happens to be Mysty’s father, he buys us cigarettes in exchange for chores and sometimes we just pay him the money. It works out, and his house is like a safe haven for us kids. My choice? Marlboro menthols, 100′s. I like the Black ones too, because they remind me of C.

Written April 23rd of 2015.
~ Angelic-x-Insanity

“Don’t listen to me.It’s insane. I am insane. But ..It’s here. I feel it. I fell for you, I think I did. And is not ..I don’t regret it, but I do know that I shouldn’t do it. But that’s it, you are in me now. I can’t look at anybody else, fall for anybody else, because I’m to busy falling for you. It’s crazy ,I don’t even know what love really is.I knew it for the second I saw you. The way you looked around, the way you talked, the way you smiled and laught. The night after that, I couldn’t even sleep. It’s still happening, white nights, dedicated to you. To my mind, thinking about different stuff, stories, lyrics of songs that I love and you. I am barely eating ,is like in my stomach is something like up down let’s dance babe. And I’m not sory for what I feel. I can’t be, it just happened. And I really hope that you are happy, because even if i feel what I feel, I won’t tell you,I don’t want you to know it. As I said, I’m insane ,I know. I don’t even know what I want. Is crazy. My hands are shaking when I’m writing, talking, thinking about you.
But it’s alright. It feels good somehow. It’s good. ”

-I wish I couls tell you all of this.
Esme Headcanon | Main Verse [Esme's love for the Legend of Zelda series, more importantly; Ocarina of Time for the N64]

  During her childhood, Esme loved to play Legend of Zelda and even as a young kid, she shipped Link and Zelda before she knew what shipping was, and one of Esme’s favorite Zelda games was Ocarina of Time for the N64. She could spend HOURS upon HOURS, playing Ocarina of Time whenever Sam and Dean are on a hunt and she was bored. Because she loves the Legend of Zelda series so much, Lucian got Esme, an Ocarina, for her birthday one year and it’s become her prized possession. She plans to cosplay as Zelda with Sam to cosplay as Link and she also plans to make the costumes by hand, if she can get the right material. She wants to design the costumes after the recent designs of Link and Zelda in the new 3DS Legend of Zelda game, after she completes the game, that is.

\ hair madness //
#love #hair #mornings #goodmorning #grunge #dark #greengrunge #palegrunge #purplegrunge #music #moon #insane #american #tumblrgirl #tumblrvibes #tumblr #goodvibes #grungevibes #grungelife #grungefashion #grungeblog #angel #hairmadness #selfie