Andrew Kevin Walker

should you fight the foxes?
  • Dan: why would you fight dan. i mean, you can, but should you? she once kicked a raven in the nuts. she was probably even somewhat buzzed at that time? do you think this is a wise decision? proceed with caution.
  • Kevin: look at this tall, beefy boy. he has anxiety... Fight Him.
  • Andrew: he'll stab you. like, literally. but i mean, fight him anyway. if you get a punch in, that's good. i heard he doesn't know how to duck.
  • Matt: why would you fight matt. he could sit on you and you will literally be powerless. and i mean. does he deserve it? if so, i mean, good luck? the guy has a boxer for a mom and he's a back liner, okay, i don't fuck with that but good luck.
  • Aaron: he probably forgot who you were since he made you want to fight him but like. fight him anyway.
  • Seth: this is an urn. why would you punch an urn. i mean. okay, maybe. fight him.
  • Allison: a fair fighter. fight her. it's a 50/50 split, if you manage to avoid the fake nails. good luck!
  • Nicky: fight him. literally, he's so eager to fight. just do it. do it for him, maybe, if not for yourself. he just wants to fight.
  • Renee: G O O D L U C K
  • Neil: this boy's asking for a fight all the time, i think you have to wait in line for it
the foxes as popular text posts #1

neil josten: i hate that my first reaction to stress is always Time To Die™ like ok calm down edgelord.

andrew minyard: they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

kevin day: me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

nicky hemmick: *walks up to straight couple* which one of you is the bee and which one of you is the fully grown adult woman who left her fiance for the bee?

matt boyd: *begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son

dan wilds: listen, I’m a nice person so if I’m a bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why.

renee walker: it’s all fun and games until you remember the person you were from 2007-2010.

allison reynolds: how to kiss a boy: 1. grab his waist, 2. slip your hand in his pocket, 3. steal his wallet, 4. dont even kiss him, 5. just run.

aaron minyard: Why are there 2 A’s in Aaron? Why not 6? What’s stopping us?

david wymack: you gotta put your heart into it! no. no, not literally– not your actual– no. how did you even manage to get that. is it even yours. put that. away.

betsy dobson: [at a session with neil, about andrew] It’s weird to think that people who are 5ft are only 5 subways long.

abby winfield: always practice safe sex!! until you have mastered it. then you are permitted to practice Danger Sex

The Foxes as things my roommates have said
  • Renee: (when asked if she could beat us in a fight) Well I didn't want to brag but I could destroy all of you.
  • Kevin: I have training in the morning but that's for sober me to worry about.
  • Andrew: I only like two things in life: being gay and getting into fights. And I just got done being gay.
  • Aaron: I'm going to the library. If you see me there, please pretend you didn't.
  • Nicky: oh man you're heterosexual? what a shame. what a fucking shame.
  • Dan: My mom was artificially inseminated. I didn't need a man to be born and I don't need one now.
  • Matt: You guys are my friends and I love you but you're fucking idiots.
  • Neil: I'm starting to realize I didn't have a happy childhood. Should I, like, see a therapist or something?
  • Allison: I'd invite you to thanksgiving at my family's summer home in Vermont but I can't let you see me and my family wear matching polo shirts and khakis
  • Bonus from my RA:
  • David: I want you all to consider me a friend! But also remember that I can get you kicked out so don't pull any shit.
  • Abby: No need to call 911. I have some bandaids in my room and also some vodka but don't tell anyone about that.
  • Bee: You can talk to me at any time, day or night. But I know you won't, you emotionally stunted bastards.
8

Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn’t want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother. If he inhaled slowly enough, he could almost taste the ghost of gasoline and fire.

10

poor baby is a little bit overwhelmed.

during his next turn kevin goes with “never have i ever actually kissed neil” and everyone has to try to take the knives away from andrew when nicky reluctantly takes the shot as well.

everyone is at least tipsy at this point which is as good an excuse as any to draw them all flushed.

[insp.]

the foxhole court as john mulaney quotes
  • neil: i'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day i'll die
  • andrew: it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • aaron: sometimes, babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all
  • nicky: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • kevin: im really sorry about last night, it’s just that im mean and loud. it probably will happen again
  • dan: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
  • matt: THATS MY WIFE!
  • renee: i think emily dickison is a lesbian
  • allison: i am a proud, asian american woman, and you will treat me with respect!
  • wymack: i pulled up to the drive thru window at mcdonalds and ordered a black coffee for myself and kept driving. The one thing no kid at mcdonalds can ever enjoy
  • riko: This is an on-fire trash can
tfc characters as parks & rec quotes
  • Kevin: But then I remembered alcohol existed.
  • Jean: Horizons are dumb. Never broaden your horizons.
  • Jeremy: I think you've got several options. They're all terrible... but you have them.
  • Dan: Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.
  • Matt: Oh, Neil. You beautiful, naive, sophisticated new born baby.
  • Aaron: Nicky, could you please shut up? I can't hear myself not talking to Andrew.
  • Neil: It's fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired.
  • Andrew: My instinct is to be mean to you.
  • Renee: I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
  • Seth: I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
  • Nicky: I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how fun gay Halloween parties are?
  • Allison: Then I'm sure he's not cheating on you. But if he is, he's a monster. And if he's not, you guys are great together. But if he is, I will kill him.
  • Wymack: The thing about youth culture, is, I don't understand it.