The border fence between Texas and Mexico has been blocking thousands of shifty foreigners from taking American jobs since Bush put it there in 2008. Regardless of what you think of the policy, no doubt the people who live in sight of the fence are happy that it’s keeping Mexico’s violent drug war from spilling over into their backyard. Or at least they would be, if they weren’t on the wrong freaking side of it. See, the problem is that, at some points, the fence is built over a mile inland from the actual border – in some parts actually cutting through residential property.
Due to a treaty that prevents building in certain areas near the border, the USA figured they had a bit of buffer room around where they actually built the fence, so some Americans got to watch in horror as their country built a huge “KEEP OUT” wall that left them on the outside, like the dick in every horror movie who locks the door while one guy is still outside getting swarmed by zombies. So, every day, Americans living in America have to cross the American border fence to enter America.
And even that doesn’t really convey the insanity of it; one farmer complains that he has to cross the border every time he travels between his field and his barn. At one point, it even cuts through the middle of a college campus in Texas. So students have to allow time to clear border security while running from one lecture to another.
Politicians: It’s enough. We get it. You want us to think you are just a normal local and you know all the down-home places to eat. But Yelp isn’t a secret only your campaign manager knows about, and you are not fooling anyone.
It’s gotten to the point where even diner owners themselves can’t take it anymore. During the 2012 primaries, a diner in New Hampshire put up a sign letting politicians know that they weren’t welcome, and when interviewed, one employee compared them to hobos.
But if politicians want us to believe that they are men and women of the people because they mingle with us commoners at diners, then maybe they should make sure to treat those places well. Clinton had a terrible news cycle in 2008 after a waitress claimed she had not been left a tip when the candidate visited. When Romney and his team went to a diner in Iowa, they ripped tablecloths, broke a truck they borrowed, and even smashed a picture of the owner’s father. And virtually every owner complains that the incessant campaign stops slow down their service, annoy their customers, and keep them from making money.
A magical variety of Lynx, the Chama-Lincis can appear more like a beige bobcat or closer to an Iberian Lynx, with further variation between. While most specimens have a short tail, some have been known to have longer tufted ones, and as they as a species have existed for a very long time (bones of these creatures have been found by magi-archaeologists and dated back well into prehistory) it is believed by many that it is from Chama-Lincis that Kneazles were bred. Certainly, while Chama-Lincis cannot be easily domesticated, those which grow used to human presences have a knack for telling which people mean them harm and which do not.
Chama-Lincis are widespread throughout Eurasia and Africa, and have been introduced into the Americas, though not into Oceania. In the Americas Chama-Lincis have been known to occasionally interbreed with Wampus Cats, Cactus Cats, Ball-tailed Cats and Splintercats, producing a wide variety of slightly domesticable offspring, often - sadly - rejected by their parents. These kits will generally either form a strong bond to the one to rear them, and remain with them for life, or leave as they reach adolescence, only occasionally returning.
The whiskers of Chama-Lincis are often used in Truth Potions (Veritaserum and other varieties) as well as in varieties of Wit-Sharpening Potion, due to the creatures native ability to detect who it is safe to trust. While they can be used as wandcores they are not very strong ones, and the natural spell-resistance of the fur of Chama-Lincis does not aid this. This spell-resistance, however, makes the pelts of Chama-Lincis popular in robe-making, especially of those in a certain social class who fear they may be at risk but do not care for the texture or the (sometimes garish) colours of dragonhide.
(Read about the Lynx of medieval bestiaries Here and Here. Image One is from a MTG card, specifically Steppe Lynx, Image Two is of a real-life Iberian Lynx.
I hate that I have to include this but PLEASE DO NOT DELETE THE IMAGE SOURCE OR MY CAPTION.)
Make America great again.
Make America American again.
Make America elliptical again.
Make America esculent again.
Make America succulent again.
Make America motley again.
Make America bemused again.
Make America foggy again.
Make America groggy again.
Make America unheard-of again.
Make America unknown again.
Make America irrelevant again.
Make America hiccupping again.
Make America laughing again.
Make America forgetting her eyeglasses again.
Make America foreign again.
Make America aforementioned again.
Make America moonstruck again.
Make America bedewed again.
Make America miscellaneous again.
Make America made again.
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