Altair: Spends all his time staring at the bird exhibits, especially the birds of prey. Tries to climb to the top of the bird house and get in so he can synchronize with the birds, but zoo security throws him out and bans him from the zoo for life. Ezio: Focuses mostly on the big cats, especially the lions and tigers. Is especially enamored with the ocelots in the rainforest exhibit, and spends at least $15 on feed pellets in the petting zoo in an attempt to charm hot single women. Edward: He likes the tropical rainforest building, and especially admires the poison dart frogs. Walks around all day in an Indiana Jones outfit and goes into the reptile house to pet snakes (as he hasn’t seen Raiders of The Lost Ark yet, he doesn’t understand why people are giving him weird looks). Haytham: The first thing he takes Connor to see is the primates. He tries to get Connor interested in them, but drags him away as soon as the monkeys start doing gross things. Ends up talking to a zookeeper for an extended period of time about the history of wolves in North America, and subsequently loses track of Connor. Connor: After the monkey fiasco, he ends up in the Animals of North America area, where he gets thrown out after trying to liberate all of the animals (and coming pretty close to succeeding). He is given a lifetime ban from the zoo, but nobody seems to notice (at least not for a while) that he succeeded in liberating a grizzly bear to the North parking lot. Arno: Spends his time in the bird house, buying feeder sticks and letting birds sit on his figner like some sort of Disney prince. Actually sings to them for a long while, and attracts plenty of children… and a cute ornithologist, who gives him her number. Shay: Penguins. That’s all he’s there for, just penguins and their cute antics. Buys a penguin hat, a large stuffed penguin souvenir, and eats three penguin shaped popsicles. Jacob: After dragging Evie to the Gorilla exhibit and making at least eight Harambe jokes, he becomes fixated on the pandas and won’t leave them for an hour. He moves on to the Elephant House, where he breaks in and tries to ride one (it seems he remembers the story of Hannibal) and earns himself a lifetime ban from the zoo. Evie: Unwillingly follows Jacob to the gorilla enclosure, and ditches him to go hang out with Desmond after she gets sick of Jacob’s Harambe jokes. Goes with Desmond into the Butterfly house and admires the flamingoes. Manages to make it to the giraffe show and pets a giraffe.
Desmond: Rather crankily pays $209.50USD for ten adult zoo tickets for everyone. Starts out by making eye contact with the prairie dogs and loitering near the meerkats until Evie runs into him and they visit the butterflies and flamingoes. Wraps up his day by babysitting Altair, Connor, and Jacob in the van after they earn their lifetime bans from the zoo.
OKAY WE NEED SOME FLUFF AROUND HERE. HEADCANON FOR THE ASSASSINS SAVING YOU FROM GETTING KILLED/HANGED. MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS.
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU, LOVE. THIS BLOG IS TURNING INTO AN ANGST SITE, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.Excuse me, but I haven’t written this much angst in awhile. Bear with me for a bit.
Also I’m going to be doing more drabbles because there’s only so much I can do with headcanons. Apologies for the slight change, love.
The minute he heard your scream echo in the closed alleyway, he immediately assassinated the two Templars standing vigil for any intruders and ran towards the sound of your panic filled voice.
You were only a civilian, an ordinary woman that Altaïr had only seen around Masyaf a few times. But it was enough for him to come to your rescue.
There you were, pinned against a wall with most of your weapons discarded on the ground with a Templar knight baring a yellow toothed grin at you.
“Look at you, squirming underneath me. Maybe I should bring you back to Robert so he can decide what will become of you.
Rumor has it, that one of those Assassins has a vested interest in you.”
The knight sneers and Altaïr quickly dashes behind your attacker and extends his Hidden Blade into his neck. He crumples to the ground, muffled gurgling noises erupting from his throat as his movements slowly stilled to a stop.
The tears you were desperately attempting to hold back flows freely as Altaïr embraces you tightly and you hold on to him, afraid that he would disappear if you let go.
“It’s alright. You’re safe now.”
(An AU of the headcanons I did for Ezio’s S/O being hanged because I won’t forgive myself unless I made a more happier version of that situation.)
‘No. This is not happening.’ Ezio thought to himself as he watched two guards lead you out to the wooden platform with a hastily made gallows and a noose at the ready, waiting to strangle an unfortunate soul to death.
You caught a glimpse of a white hood making its way towards the stage and you try your best to not exhale in relief.
‘Ezio’s here. As he always has been.’
You close your eyes in anticipation as the grip on your wrists slack and a knife is pressed into your hands. When you open your eyes again, you see Ezio standing in front of you, motioning for you to follow. You gladly do so, stabbing at any guards that try to hinder you from reaching your goal as the audience screams and runs haphazardly to safety.
The moment you approach a narrow passage between two tall buildings, strong arms wrap themselves around you and soft lips meet your own. You eagerly lean into the kiss as you bite on Ezio’s bottom lip.
“Do not try to force me to leave you behind again. I won’t be able to live with myself if I see you about to be hanged again.” He mumbles as he breaks the kiss.
“I promise, mi amour.” You reply as you kiss him desperately once more.
Your voice resonated clearly as you tried your best to fight off the redcoats that had begun to surround you. No matter how many you killed, there was always another to take their fallen comrade’s place.
‘This is how I die.’ You say to yourself until you see a arrow finding its way onto the neck of one of the advancing soldiers. Several more arrows find their path towards your attackers as you look up. There he was, standing with his bow and one more arrow notched, ready to injure its target.
You manage to take advantage of the chaos that had turned its favor towards you and you eliminate the last of the redcoats as Connor leaps off the roof and onto safe ground.
The only thing you thought of doing as Connor approached you was hugging him as tightly as you could manage.
“I’m here, Y/N. I’m right here.”
You thought you had the upper hand, but as it turns out, you were wrong. Now you were thrown onto the wooden floor with your weapon too far from your reach and your assailant advancing towards you at an agonizing pace.
“You’re late to a meeting with Governor Torres, little miss.” Your assailant snarls as they snatch you by the collar of your shirt. You wriggle in their grasp as you feel the tip of their sword beginning to pierce your skin until blood stains your shirt and you fall to the ground once more. However, this time you’re saved by a pair of strong arms while you stare at a pair of blue eyes.
“Relax, lass, it’s only me.” Edward grins at you as he steadies you before handing your sword back to you.
You smile as you sheath the blade back before saying, “Thank you.”
‘Not again. You won’t become like Élise.’ Arno’s thoughts scream as he races towards you through narrow passageways and various shortcuts around the catacombs. ‘The Templars won’t take you away from this world, not today.’
You try your best not to display any facial expression as you wait for the leather whip in your torturer’s hand to slash your body in its brutal manner when you hear the angered shouts of guards.
“ASSASSIN! GET THE PRISONER!” The head guard orders as he storms into the room, hastily removing you from the chair you were bound to. You feel coarse dark fabric being forced onto your head when you suddenly couldn’t feel anything at all. Everything had gone silent around you until you managed to hear faint footsteps circle around you before your eyes were exposed to light again.
“Arno?” You inquire softly as the binds slip off your wrists. A blue coat enters your line of sight before you feel the pressure against your ankles grow slack and you slowly stand up.
“Y/N.” Arno smiles gratefully and pulls you close to his chest.
“Je t’aime, Arno.” You whisper into his ear.
“Je t’aime aussi, mon amour.” He replies and the two of you stand there, time slipping away as the sun begins shining into the room.
“Let her go!” Jacob shouts as a brutish hulking Blighter continues to slice your arms. “She has nothing to do with this!”
“Sorry, love, but do tell us how we can get you to talk without harming your precious lady?” Another Blighter sneers as you scream in pain, a cut that was too deep and too much for you to bear.
“Like this.” Jacob snaps as he headbutts the taunting Blighter and steals his knife, effectively severing the multiple knots securing him to his chair. The brute that had been maiming you extensively stomps towards Jacob and lunges at him before Jacob swiftly sidesteps and buries the dagger deep in the Blighter’s back as he rushes towards you. He removes another blade from a nearby table and takes away the gag that had been forcefully stuffed in your mouth while he cuts the ropes from your arms and feet.
“You’re safe now, Y/N. You’re going to be okay.” Jacob insists as he begins to treat your wounds as best he can.
don’t leave me, Jacob. Please.” You manage to sob as Jacob finishes wiping blood from your leg.