A/N: fourth part is below, sorry for the slow updates, my phone is dying and I worked the weekend so I was lazy. Also I will write the other guys ASAP for you as well as update. Anywho enjoy your week lovelies.
I woke up earlier than I usually do, in Y/N’s bed without her. I could hear the sizzling of bacon in the kitchen not far away. I dragged myself out of her warm bed that smelled so sweetly of her and into the kitchen, following the bacon scent.
She was cooking bacon and eggs with only one of my long shirts on. Making fucking breakfast. Of all the women I had spent the night with she was always the one I wanted to see staying. She never slept with me slept with me, despite the terrible crush I’d had on her since highschool, which had reared it’s head again since the last tour I went on. But that didn’t stop me from wanting her to be my partner, the one who would cook breakfast in my oversize shirt, or the one I would cook breakfast for while she slept soundly in my bed. I was mesmerised, if was like something I had dreamed up, an image straight from my head. She was humming along to her music, which was playing softly from her phone dancing around the kitchen as she cooked. The phone had a case with a Disney princess best friends design, I had the other half on my phone, a joke present she had purchased after my prettiest princess tweet. I didn’t have the heart to change it despite the shit I got with the guys.
I walked into the kitchen, ‘good morning princess.’ I say wrapping my arms around her soft waist. 'Jack. We have to talk about this before we start acting like this.’ She says but her body betrays her as she melts into my torso. 'Mkay.’ I murmur enjoying her gentle curves under the large shirt. 'Jack let go, come on we need to talk.’ She tries to extract herself. 'Sorry.’ I apologise, 'do you need plates for that?’ I ask nodding at the bacon in the pan. 'Yeah, you could set the table, you’re up very early.’ she says with a cheeky smile. 'I couldn’t sleep.’ I mutter. Truth is I couldn’t sleep without her and I certainly couldn’t sleep with her. Her being in the same bed as me was both an incredible comfort and an extreme distraction from any sleep. It had been excruciating on the weekend, I got little to no sleep having her next to me but I couldn’t stand having a Y/N shaped absence when I got home.
She finishes cooking and sits at the spot I’ve laid out for her. 'About the..’ She looks extremely uncomfortable, 'about us.’ She says hastily without looking at me. 'What do you want Y/N.’ I say desperately hoping for the answer I want to hear. 'I.. Well.. I just… I can’t commit to someone who is so free like you Jack. I’m not going to hold you down to a life of mediocrity,’ I snort at the thought if her being mediocre but she plies on despite me. 'You leave for tour in a few weeks, we wouldn’t work, we’re best friends.’ She sighs as if sick of her own shitty excuses, giving up and speaking her heart now.
'I love you Jack, I don’t want to ever loose you, and being in a romantic relationship makes that a real possibility. I’m sorry and don’t think for a second I don’t love you with my whole heart but..’ She takes a sharp breath holding up a hand. She isn’t making any sense, she’s rambling away and she knows it but she isn’t willing to admit her feelings completely. 'I’m sorry Jack I’ve got to get ready for work.’ She hasn’t touched her breakfast and she hurries out of the room escaping as I push back my chair to follow her.
She turns in horror, not expecting me to pursue the conversation 'I’m fine just let me get ready, eat your breakfast Jack.’ She darts into her bedroom, pulling her work clothes off the hangers and pushing past me into the bathroom shutting the door behind her.
'Y/N what is this all about, just let me talk to you and see your face.’ I call through the door. 'I can’t’ she sobs out and a part of my heart twists and breaks. 'Why not y/n/n.’ I ask pressed to the door. 'Because if I see you I’ll change my mind’ she whisper so softly I almost don’t hear. 'I’m coming in Y/N.’ I say going to open the door. 'No, don’t I just want to keep you forever Jack there’s just too much risk, I don’t want to loose you, I don’t want to say goodbye to my perfect Jack.’ She cries pushing against the door and throwing away words. 'But you won’t have to, you’ll be closer than ever, you’ll never loose me, I’m not going anywhere.’ I say jiggling the doorknob. 'Jack please, can we just forget, you’ll go on tour soon and I don’t want to waste our precious time together, you’re my best friend Jack, I won’t risk losing you.’ She says quietly and I don’t know what to say. 'Let me in Y/N.’ I say tiredly. She reluctantly lets the door open. 'Im sorry.’ She says staring at her bare feet. 'Why are you sorry, I love you, you love me, we aren’t going to risk anything.’ I say lifting her chin with my forefinger and thumb gently. 'Oh but we are.’ She says defeatedly. 'There are so many different ways I could loose you and starting a relationship, romantically is such a huge way to make things strained, what if we break up. What if I do something and you hate it, what if I suck so bad at sex you break up with me, what about the groupies, the tours, the fans, they’ll hate me, what about being best friends, do we just give that up?’ She looks so distraught. 'So, no Jack I can’t imagine not having you in my life and I know one day we’ll probably say goodbye and never see each other again, certainly not like we do now but I want this to last as long as possible.’ She is much more concerned and upset about this than I thought. 'Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since high school, I don’t care what you’re like at sex, what I care about is being able to come home after a busy tour and see you, cuddle with you on the couch like we do now, but then take you to bed and sleep with you all night, I don’t give a shit about the groupies, they were just distractions and the fans, I love them but I love you so much more.’ I say my piece and she’s crying harder if that’s even possible. 'I just want you to be my best friend for as long as I can have you.’ She whispers, 'I don’t want something like this to ruin our relationship.’ She looks up at me with tear filled eyes. 'It won’t, we can be in an amazing relationship and still do all the things we do together, and I promise to look after you as best I can and you have to know I’ll love you forever.’ I say heart really on my sleeve now. 'Jack.’ She opens her arms a little ways and I’m in them before she can say no again. 'I love you so much, please, we have to make this work.’ She says desperately clinging to me. 'I’m not going to pressure you into this but I think we’d end up together if we didn’t try to be anyway, or we’d be the most miserable people alive.’ I say in all honesty. 'I know, I really do, but let’s just see where it takes us.’ She says 'let’s just keeps things as they are until you come back from tour next time, give us time to think, be free for one more tour, then if you’re still wanting more than this we can see if we can make it work.’ She says and I deflate a little. Instead of arguing I just hold her closer, pressing her a little more tightly to my chest, a hand stroking her hair and then down her back. A tour won’t change my mind but I might change her’s.
You couldn’t imagine Jack seeing you as more than just his closest friend, he saw thousands of girls every week when he was on tour, why he would want you of all the girls astounded me. But he clearly did, at the moment. You weren’t sure how long it would last, you didn’t want to be the girl who he dumped as soon as he left for tour, or before. You wanted him there like he was now, even when he was touring, you knew you took up residency in his heart and mind at least sometimes, proven through the amount of snapchats he sent you and the texts about his day. You didn’t want to loose the special thing you and Jack had, the bond that had lasted since you were kids. You didn’t want to loose your closest friend and confidant.
The time with Jack was rapidly running out and things were a little awkward after the talk you had had. Jack returned to his bed, although you missed him terribly, and you hoped he missed you at least a little, and you did normal things that you use to do before the idea of being more than friends was brought to light.
You watched movies almost every night, Jack didn’t bring any girls home. You went on long night drives talking about mindless topics or just silence with music playing softly as you drove. It was beautiful but strained. You missed the carefree hugs you gave and were given, now a thing of the past, and the forehead kisses Jack so often gave, now sorely relished when he left one on your head if he thought you were asleep.
The day for Jack to catch his flight to London for the European leg of the tour came much too quickly and there were many tears at the airport goodbye.
'You know I’ll snapchat you and text you and if you’re really lucky I might ring you.’ He jokes and you look up at him through watery eyes and attempt a small smile. 'I know but I’ll still miss you heaps.’ You say before throwing your arms around him. He embraces you tightly, making you feel all warm and then achy in the chest. 'Remember what we said though, when I get back we’ll talk about us, see what we can do.’ He says into your ear. As if you could forget.
The other boys arrive breaking you apart before you can respond. 'Y/N!’ Alex smiles widely. 'How have you been, missing Jack already!’ He gasps flaking horror. 'Not this crazy man!’ You giggle a little and Jack seems to let out a breath. 'Look after him will you Lex.’ You say giving Alex a quick hug before giving a smiling Rian a squeeze then sliding over to Zack who engulfs you in his huge frame and barrel chest. 'Have fun I’ll miss you guys.’ You say more than a little teary now. 'Come here you, one more hug before I go.’ Jack wraps his massively long arms around you and holds you against him. 'I love you Y/N.’ He whispers into your hair so that only you can hear him. You stifle a sob and give him a tight squeeze before stepping back and wiping you face. The manager arrives taking them to international security, 'bye Y/N!’ They chorus waving at you like a small group of children on a school camp. You wave cracking a little smile at the thought. Jack looks into your face long and hard but says no more before turning and jogging to catch up with the group.
You cry all the way back to your apartment, something you haven’t done before when the boys have gone on tour. Something about this time just seems different. You’ve changed since last time and you think maybe so has Jack.