Aldrich-Ames

  • Aldrich Ames: Wow, yet another double-agent working for us got arrested by the KGB. Don't worry guys, even when I go on my fifth vacation to Columbia this year I'll be working hard on the case for what's causing our all our spies in the Soviet Union to suddenly start dropping like flies
  • Aldrich Ames: *blinds everyone with his diamond-studded Rolex*
  • Aldrich Ames: *drives away in a new Jaguar*
  • CIA Agent: Gosh it sure is nice that Aldrich is able to keep up good spirits in these times. It must be really stressful for him since all those compromised names were under his protection
Brilliant KGB elicitation of Aldrich Ames

[[an excerpt from a KGB memoir ]]

From the moment he’d handed over his letter to Chuvakhin, I had kept all pressure off Wells. I’d asked nothing of him and expressed only profuse gratitude for the largely uninteresting material he’d been giving us.

“Look,” I continued, exaggerating, but not really dissembling, “our main concern—our one concern—is your security. I want you to know that for certain. Everything else is secondary. You tell me what you want us to do and we’ll do it—we’ll play by any rules you give us.”

I sensed Wells relaxing. He sat back in his chair. I pressed on. “But for us to be able to protect you, we need to know as much as we can about you. If your name is Ames, but you tell us it’s Wells, how can we watch out for you? We’ll be doing our best to watch for FBI communications about Wells. Something about Ames would slip right by.”

Wells thought for a moment. “Okay,” he sighed. “You’re right. I’m Ames.”

I steered the conversation back to Ames’s security. “It’s in your interest to tell us as much as you can about any of your agents inside the KGB,” I said.

“I know we have agents there,” Ames replied. “But what I don’t know is how you would apply the information if I gave it to you. I don’t know who else knows about our meetings. The difficult situation I’m in is making me tell you we have a lot of agents—but that makes my situation even worse.”

“How many agents?”

“There’s a very big network.”

“How can we protect you if we don’t know who’s in a position to inform the CIA about you? If you’re concerned about your security, it’s up to you and us to minimize the danger for you. We need to know whom to protect you from.”

Then began the second chapter of Ames’s spy career. He hesitated, then took out a notepad and paper and began writing down a list of names. He tore out the page and handed it to me. I was shocked. That piece of paper contained more information about CIA espionage than had ever before been presented in a single communication. It was a catalog of virtually every CIA asset within the Soviet Union. Ames said nothing about whether the men he’d listed should be arrested or removed. “Just make sure these people don’t find anything out about me,” he said.

Aldrich Faithful

Aldrich/Reader. bone the slippery tube dude. rated B&W for Bad and Weird


It’s true with any occupation: a job well done deserves an accolade.

You’ve heard tales of dubious veracity and far-flung rumors – a special few, chosen for their hard work and dedication or, sometimes, solely for their beauty, invited to the white chambers of your lord.

The details of the visit and the nature of the reward vary greatly. Some supposedly receive trinkets, some leave with armor forged with skill beyond human ability, some receive lifelong blessings of health and youth. There are those that have claimed receiving favors of a far more carnal nature.

And, going even farther into the domain of the fantastic, were the tales of some having been eaten (“Flesh must taste all the sweeter if it belongs to you,” they said). This is patently false, you think. After all, who could stomach a mortal man after devouring gods? But it was undeniable that some Faithfuls left in the night and never returned.

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I wanna see a The Wolf on Wall Street style movie about “80s greed” except instead of finance it’s CIA agent Aldrich Ames realizing he’s over $33,000 in debt and walks into the Soviet embassy offering to sell the names of double-agents for $50,000 and then realizing this is a really easy way to make money