I know we don’t get happily ever afters in real life. I’m a hopeless romantic, not a total fucking idiot. As my friend, Russell, said to me once, “Even with the happiest couples, one of you dies first.” But first there is such unalloyed joy.
We went to the supermarket yesterday and we were wandering around and,
at one point, he took my hand, because that’s the kind of thing he does. And instantly, I got flustered. Residual anxiety. Remembrance of past battery. Enduring scars. Even though I know I’m hardly likely to get my head kicked in by the salad bar, PDAs can still make me nervous. And then he said, gentle as anything, and I’m not going to do the accent…
“If there’s a gay kid in here with his folks, frightened that he’s a freak, don’t you think that it might give him hope, seeing two guys wandering around, being themselves, getting their groceries, like everyone else?” If happiness is a place… it’s the biscuit aisle in Sainsbury’s. And anywhere else I am with him.
Yo can I just give a big shout out to my boy Alan Cumming, now some of you might be like whooooo??? but you’ll probably know him as the villain in Spy Kids
or if not then he’s in the Good Wife and Nightcrawler in the older X-Men films.
Now Alan Cumming is bisexual and totally open about it and has been for a long time, since the 90s, back when bisexuality was far less readily talked about than it is today (not saying there isn’t still huge bi erasure problems but back then they were way worse) so he was one of the few people publicly standing up for bisexual people back then which is super cool plus he’s done loads of work for AIDS charities and GLAAD so I reckon he’s a pretty awesome guy.
Now on CBS this fall there’s gonna be a show starring Mr Cumming called Instinct, it’s gonna be about a normal guy who’s a teacher but used to be a CIA Officer so now has to fight bad guys while trying to keep up with his normal life. The uber cool thing about this is that the main characters gonna have a husband and they’ll be trying to adopt kids and do cool things so this is gonna be the FIRST EVER Network Drama where the main character’s gay.
How cool’s THAT?
So basically what I’m saying is let’s build the hype and get this show super successful so network execs will see that LGBT shows can have high ratings and be mega profitable :D
People like me didn’t feature in the stories I was told growing up. Felt as if I didn’t exist. Even if there were characters like me, they were Hall of Mirrors distortions that made me feel like I didn’t want to exist. I had a go at ending my existence back then. But I was as good at suicide as I was at physics, so I lived and learnt. It’s painful to be invisible in other people’s stories, but there is a sliver of liberation. You can tell your own story. You can author your own life. There’s no script to stick to, which is fucking terrifying. And quite exciting. And fucking terrifying.
“Amazingly, in a funny way, I never had any shame about sexuality – I just never did. I never felt it as wrong. I felt at certain times it was going to be difficult because people weren’t very receptive to it but I never felt it was something wrong with me.”