If Bleach characters were small children who believed in Santa...
Author’s choice list. :)
Since it is Christmas this week, I decided to do a Christmas-themed author’s choice list! So let’s pretend that Bleach characters are tiny adorable children who happen to still believe in Santa. In what wondrous and adorable ways will each of them act around Christmas?
1. Szayel: Sets traps for Santa Clause
Yet all he captures are his parents. They are grumpy.
Tiny Szayel: This may cause me to reformulate my hypotheses.
2. Ggio: Lies in wait, hoping to challenge Santa
His plan - should he actually catch Santa in the act - is to challenge Santa to a fight for his entire bag of toys.
Tiny Ggio: I may be small, but Santa is old and fat!
Tiny Ggio: I totally got this!
3. Hitsugaya: Keeps a detailed record of his nice/naughty behavior all year
And then mails the evidence to Santa along with his letter.
Tiny Hitsugaya (writing): So as you can see, my behavior has clearly merited the following items…
4. Orihime: Leaves Santa homemade snacks
She isn’t aware that doing that is a tradition. She just figures that Santa would probably like some snacks.
Tiny Orihime: And I’m gonna leave some carrots for his reindeer, too!
5. As Nodt: Is scared of Santa
The “He sees you when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake” line really got to him.
Tiny As Nodt: But why does he only watch me when I am sleeping?
Tiny As Nodt: Why
6. Ulquiorra: Asks incessant questions about Santa
Where does he live? How does he get around the whole world in one night? Why does he want to give people presents? What IS a present? Those sorts of things.
Tiny Ulquiorra: Is it only a present when it is wrapped? When it is unwrapped, does it cease to be a present?
Parental figure: …
7. Ichigo: Asks no questions about Santa
He just believes.
Tiny Ichigo: Old guy. Magical powers. Very fast.
Tiny Ichigo: What’s not to believe?
8. Rukia: Hides in the downstairs closet hoping to catch Santa every year
But every year she falls asleep because closets are too dang comfy.
Tiny Rukia: Maybe I shouldn’t have put a bed in here…
9. Yukio: Aggressively *doesn’t* believe in Santa Claus
His parents tried to make him believe. It did not work.
Tiny Yukio: Yeah….all of my presents are my parents’ credit cards.
Tiny Yukio: So……yeah.
10. Jinta: Insists that he doesn’t believe
But secretly he does.
Tiny Jinta: Ha! I don’t care about Santa!
Tiny Ururu: He probably heard that.
Tiny Jinta: S-SHUT UP!
11. Aizen: Pretends that he believes in Santa
Even though he knows the truth, Aizen pretends otherwise so his parents do not suspect. He’s not really sure why he fakes this innocence. It just feels right.
Tiny Aizen: My plan is to “discover” that Santa isn’t real this year. I will be upset
Tiny Aizen: Probably my parents’ guilt will get me a few extra presents.
12. Kurotsuchi: Tries to collect samples of Santa during the mall visit
Kurotsuchi just wants to know what makes him magic.
Tiny Kurotsuchi: Santa is supposed to give good children what want. I’ve been good!
Tiny Kurotsuchi: So why does he refuse to give me a blood sample??
13. Bazz-B: Is convinced that Santa has fire powers
Bazz-B knows that Santa comes down the chimney and down into the fireplace. Which usually contains fire. So Santa must be fireproof!
Tiny Bazz-B: Plus that red suit just screams “fire”!
14. Grimmjow: Keeps sneaking downstairs to see if he has presents yet
His parents keep telling him to stay in his room. But that only makes Grimmjow want to sneak downstairs more.
Tiny Grimmjow (being carried upstairs by his parents): But I don’t WANNA stay in my room!
15. Renji: Listens to “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” on repeat all Christmas Eve
He feels such a kinship with Rudolph.
Tiny Renji: Mom, do you think Santa would hire ME to lead his sleigh? I have bright red HAIR!
16. Jackie: Puts a welcome mat in front of the fireplace
Not to make Santa feel welcome or antyhing. She just figures his boots will be covered in soot so he will need somewhere to wipe them.
Tiny Jackie: Nothing ruins Christmas like dirty boots.
17. Ishida: Makes Santa a red cape with a white fluffy lining
He figured Santa would appreciate that more than cookies.
Tiny Ishida: He might still have the cape I gave him last year, of course, but that’ll just mean he has an extra cape!
18. Ikkaku: Asks Santa for a sword every year
And is disappionted every year when he instead gets a toy sword.
Tiny Ikkaku: I even specified that I wanted a real sword!
Tiny Ikkaku: Wasn’t I good enough??
19. Byakuya: Is obsessed with Santa’s speed
He always wants to hear about how Santa can go around the whole world in one night.
Tiny Byakuya: I could do that. I am fast.
Tiny Byakuya: I will make myself faster than this Santa.
Tiny Byakuya: Then he will know the strength of my pride.
20. Akon: Sets up hidden cameras to catch Santa in the act
Ironically, using the tools that Santa brought him the year before.
Akon: Well, to be specific he brought me a walkman last year.
Akon: I’m good at adapting.