your week will go well. if it doesn’t it will only get better from here. 

have some water , get some sleep , smile and breathe. there is support here.

a tip i would give before a lot of other pieces of advice:
  • don’t whisper. even if it’s nothing of malice. it can cause so much anxiety and isn’t nice. it can really hurt a lot of people around you, causing them to think it’s about them, even if it’s not. just don’t whisper. save your words for when it’s only a secluded setting if it needs to be said in private.

anonymous asked:

Feeling like I hecked up big time. All my friends got accepted into very prestigious universities and are planning on getting phds in eventually. (Future English professors, the lot of them.) I applied to a local state university that's decent, but not exactly a big name, and I have no plans beyond a bachelor's degree. I've been content with this plan, but all my friends are saying I should have been more ambitious in applying to schools, and that I would make an A+ professor. Did I mess up?

Real talk: your friends don’t dictate what’s right for you, what’s right for you may not be what’s right for them, and starting on ten years of school leading to a career you’re not even sure you want is a great way to be miserable for an entire decade of your life. If you’re a high school senior, you do not need to have your whole life figured out right now, and if a local state university is where you’re comfortable, that’s fine. Moreover, you can get just as good an education at a state university as you can at an Ivy League school with quadruple the price tag (and you will be much better off graduating without that debt hanging over your head). If you don’t have any plans beyond a bachelor’s degree, that’s fine. If, at some point in the next four years working on that bachelor’s degree you change your mind, that’s also fine. If you finish your bachelor’s degree, take five years off, and then decide you want to go back to school that’s also fine. And guess what? If you ultimately decide you want to be a professor–and it’s a decision you made because it’s something you want, not because it’s something all of your friends think you should want–having a BA from a state school will not be a mark against you. I went to a state school. Five of the other six people in my PhD cohort also went to state schools. There is nothing wrong with state schools. That is a narrative manufactured by a messed-up privatized education industry and you should ignore it. 

Lastly: your friends have absolutely no way of knowing that you’d be “an A+ professor.” They’re a bunch of teenagers. They’ve never even had a professor. They have no idea what that job entails, they are not qualified to career-counsel you, and I would be astonished if “the lot of them” actually end up being English professors ten years from now. It is not an easy path or an easy job, and the illusions they have about going off to school and being Rory Gilmore will shatter very quickly. All this is to say, do what you want to do, what you think is right for you, and remember that you do not have to (and should not have) your entire life decided right now. Figuring out what you want to do with your life is what higher education is for, and if you go in with preconceived notions, you may miss out on a lot of great opportunities. 

hexade0cimal  asked:

I've been reading this blog recently. I often have the feeling that I should exercise because my stamina is really poor and many physical activities beyond just walking get really unpleasant very quickly. The idea that maybe I don't have to feel terrible while I exercise would really open me up to it, but I worry that what I experience isn't really 'pain' (which you're saying isn't necessary) and *is* actually something I have to push through, and wanting to avoid it just means I'm lazy.

The strange thing is that everyone is going to have a different line that separates “This is normal discomfort that it’s acceptable and won’t hurt me” and “This is pain that is doing my body harm and isn’t okay.” I can help to describe some of the general differences between the two, but your threshold and level of acceptability are things that only you can define.

Soreness or General Discomfort:

  • Is a dull, stiff sensation
  • Can be burning or light cramping
  • Has a slow and gradual onset
  • Often located in a muscle or near the surface
  • Linked to muscles feeling tired and sensitive
  • You feel relief once you stop and rest
  • The sensation is eased by stretching, massage and rest
  • Once soreness sets in, it doesn’t get worse. It remains fairly constant until it gradually goes away again
  • Can occur after a workout, roughly 12-48 hours after you finished

Meanwhile, actual Pain:

  • Acute, sharp or jabbing sensation
  • Happens immediately during a workout and occasionally continues afterward
  • Quickly catches your attention
  • Often located in a joint or deep in the bone
  • Touching or moving the area often makes the sensation worse, not better
  • Once you’re in pain, it can get worse and increase in intensity.

But in the end - Honestly, you don’t have to push through anything. 

Yes, exercise is kind of uncomfortable. You’ll get winded and out of breath, your muscles won’t like you for a little while and you might have some problems with blisters and calluses. But you’re not lazy for wanting to avoid any of this! People with breathing problems can still do low-impact exercises that allow them to move and stay active without breathing heavily. People with past injuries and mobility problems and concentrate on specific body parts in order to stop themselves from aggravating other muscle groups. And people who just plain don’t like to sweat can still get a lot of positives out of swimming, bowling or chair yoga. There’s something out there for everyone.

If you find yourself constantly having to push through a really unpleasant, really awful experience - It might be time to look into alternate exercise options, because what you’re doing doesn’t seem to be as beneficial as it could be. That’s not lazy: That’s ensuring that you actually enjoy your time being active!

anonymous asked:

Hey my friend just bought me my first binder I’m excited and have some questions? I’m closeted and need to hide it do you have any recommendations? How long is too long to wear it per day? Will it hurt? If it hurts should I take it off? And if you have any other advice for a first time binder user? ~ Xander

For hiding it, make sure you do your own laundry.  This’ll ensure your parents don’t find it.  Depending on the person, it’s probably best to wear it 7-8 hours (so, through school) and then take it off.  Some can wear it longer, and some need more break time to keep themselves safe.  It’s normal for it to squeeze a little especially wearing it for the first time, but as your binder ages, it’ll stretch out more.  it is compression after all; as long as you take the necessary breaks (NEVER SLEEP WITH YOUR BINDER ON), you should be fine. If it hurts (you will know if it gets to be a problem) and/or you cannot breathe, take it off and give yourself a breather; your lungs/ribs are permanent, but your chest isn’t.  Congratz on your first binder, and wishing you the best!

-Sam

anonymous asked:

How do I flirt with women?? especially butch/masculine women?? I'm new to the wlw community and feel pretty lost on how to interact with other gay women.

smile a lot, express genuine interest in the other person, ask them questions about themselves, compliment them (sincerely), catch their eye and let the eye contact linger, make plans with them, laugh at their jokes, maybe touch them a bit if you feel okay with it, and other things like that :)

it-s-azzy  asked:

UHH WEENDY I WANNA DRAW BUT I'M AN OVERT PERFECTIONIST ANY ADVICE (I'M SORRY IT'S ALL CAPS I'M TOO LAZY TO TURN THIS OFF)

i never in my life expected to be called ween-dy but here we are

but!! a good cure against perfectionism is drawing with a pen on paper (preferrably not a ballpoint, wet ink pens are best. but also not those fancy lining pens a simple 0.5 pilot is good). and doing whatever, studies of things/squiggles/shitposting etc but with two ‘rules’: 

- you gotta finish every single doodle. no stopping at two lines. if it looks like shit embrace it and keep going, that way u can see your mistakes and draw that again. try to avoid crossing out pics too 
- fill the whole page with doodles!! no ‘i drew one line and this is ruined now im gonna get another paper’ because im guilty of that myself but this is a rly good way to fix this

i hope thats enough tbh but hey its helped me a lot so!!

anonymous asked:

Dear Duke, here I am, writing an essay. I enjoy the theme that I chose to write about, but I fear that my professors think it's irrelevant. What should I do?

Ask your professors about it. Determining whether what you’re writing is not only enjoyable but also academically worthwhile is part of their job and yours. If they’re unenthusiastic about your topic, there’s probably a reason, and the smart thing to do is talk to them about it, because they can (1) help guide your project in a direction that will make it more worthwhile and (2) help you understand what about your original proposal gives them pause. This will also give you an opportunity to defend your idea to them if you think it really is academically worthwhile in its current iteration. (Note: be enthusiastic, not belligerent.)  Something to keep in mind: as much as we would all love to just write about stuff we like, that’s not how academia works. Good professors will question and challenge your ideas. Don’t resist that. Learn from it. 

anonymous asked:

My mom says im unlovable and hard to live with because im depressed and "dont put enough effort in". She doesn't know I want to die and I can't tell her. I can't tell anyone else because im a minor so they'd have to tell her.

hi love, thanks for sending in a message during such a tough time 💓
im sorry that your mother says those sorts of things but i still believe you should try to get some help. i understand that days can get hard, that there are times where the option to end it all is better than living like you’re drowning in emptiness every day but you need to understand that it will pass. it’s cliche to say but it’s true and you have tons to keep going for like the little joys of finding a new flavor of sweets, watching the new upcoming movie or getting lost in the wild of nature.

you deserve to feel content. you deserve love. you deserve the future day where you will realize things will get better and be content. please seek help, i know as a minor it’s hard but there are online anonymous helplines

here is a website with lists of whatever you are struggling with, i’d encourage you to at least keep it bookmarked or on the front page of your phone/computer just it’s in reach whenever you need it.

once again, thank you for summoning up the courage to send us a message. you’re so strong and amazing, good luck and let us know if there’s anything we can do to help xx

-lee

anonymous asked:

I want to surprise my gf so that she'll be in a good mood when she reads my texts but I don't know what to text her please help Mom

“Good morning!! I hope you slept good!! You make me so very happy and you are very worthy of love and goos things.”

anonymous asked:

hey I saw a thing that you posted about "if only visas weren't a thing" and I'm sorry if this is overstepping but I was wondering what kind of visa you got? Because I'm travelling to the US really soon and my tourist visa says that it expires years from now, and I was just curious if yours only went for a small period of time? Idk reading that made me panic about my own visa :') US customs stress me out

((OOC: I’m guessing you’re travelling from the UK, otherwise it will probably be a different process to me!
UK citizens can travel to the US using an ESTA (visa exemption). This allows for 90 days travel - which is what I have used when I’ve travelled there.
If you want to stay for longer you need to apply for a tourist visa at the embassy.
I’m certainly not an expert but as far as I’ve seen there isn’t a possibility of staying longer than 6 months on a tourist visa. It could be that your visa is valid for years, but that after staying 6 months you would have to leave and wait some time before returning - but could return without having to reapply for a new visa?

Is there anyone from the U.K. who has used a tourist visa in the U.S. who might have more info on this? 

If you’re concerned I would definitely advise checking with the embassy. Hope this is sort of helpful!))