No, my parents don’t have enough time for me, they are too busy with business.
No, my father doesn’t know I am failing my exams because he doesn’t really give a damn, he is too busy with his work.
No, my mother couldn’t make food for me because she was out with her friends shopping all day.
No, it’s better to just commit suicide because they will not understand, they will kill me if they find out.
No, I don’t want to go home because my parents are always fighting every single minute.
Enough. Please, enough.
How many of us heard such lines from our friends or from complete strangers? Many, I must say.
We are so frustrated when we come to hear about a daughter or son going astray, got into wrong friends, wrong community, or better yet they just change, from good boys and girls to the “naughty and bad” kids out there.
And this happens, even in a family that has parents that are actually close to Allah Azza Wa Jall, or those that we see praying and all, this is reality. And it is really the hardest to give dawah to your own family.
We cannot blame society here, because the very foundation of the kids are from the parents, no matter how a child would refrain or do things unliked, the parents can always help them.
But do we have parents now that actually try to talk to the kids about their struggles? Why such things happened, why they were able to do such?
If you are a parent who spends time with your kids then Alhamdulillah, may Allah Azza Wa Jall make you continue this, but this is dedicated to those who think they are but actually do not.
A hello or a salaam is not actually spending time with your kids, it’s an opening only, but some parents, never try to follow that up and just leave.
I have written lots of blog entries about how we should value our parents, and I do get feedbacks of such lines that I wrote on the beginning of this blog, so here is a story about Abu Bakr As Sideeq Radiyallahu Anhu with his son, ‘Abdullah Ibn Abu Bakr Radiyallahu Anhu.
During the early days of the Hijrah[migration], when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam and Abu Bakr As Sideeq Radiyallahu Anhu were kept in the cave, when they are shut off from the happenings outside the cave, Allah Azza Wa Jall gave them an eye to acquire the happenings outside the cave, and this was through Abu Bakr’s RA son, 'Abdullah.
'Abdullah RA was raised by his father to have a deep love for his religion, yes, Abu Bakr was a man who kept close companionship with the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam but this didn’t shun him from spending enough time to teach, inspire, motivate and put that immense love for the deen in the hearts of his offsprings.
So on this task, his father outlined the role that 'Abdullah had to do to ensure the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam to arrive safely at his destination. He was their intelligence officer.
With the intelligence and sincerity of 'Abdullah, he kept a close eye on the movements of the enemy. During the day, he would have to attend the gatherings of the Quraish in Makkah to hear what the leaders of the Quraish had to say about their pursuit of his father and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam, and then at night, he would have to carefully make his way to the cave, making sure that no one was following him. Then before sunset, he had to silently make his way back to Makkah, acting as if he had spend the night in his home.
Now, one must realize that this task was very dangerous and hard for 'Abdullah, as being the son of Abu Bakr RA, it was very likely that his movements were being closely watched but 'Abdullah was able to perform this task with great skills that no one ever caught him or were even remotely suspicious of his movements.
Why did I chose to share this particular story about Abu Bakr and 'Abdullah RA? Because I wanted to pin point the beautiful bond of this father and son and the beautiful foundation that Abu Bakr RA was able to put in the heart of his son by just constantly spending time with his son.
We have to set a goal for our kids in ourselves, but know that whatever goal you want to put or to set for your kids, you can never achieve it by forcing it to them. You can never implement such things on force, if it will, the end will not be stable and later on stumble and fall.
Look at the way Abu Bakr RA made his son, even though 'Abdullah RA was a son of his from his first wife Qateelah Bint 'Abdul 'Uzzah Ibn As'ad Ibn Jabir Ibn Malik, who was a polytheist, fall in love with Islam, and this was out of the time spent by Abu Bakr RA with his son.
Just look at how your ample time can do such beautiful things to your children, it doesn’t have to be whole day, even just an hour to just speak about how their day was, wallah this means a lot for us [as it will mean a lot for you], and the thing is, you don’t have to actually work to earn a time to talk to us, you just actually have to say Salaam and we will take a seat and talk.
And we pray that Allah Azza Wa Jall make the love of families with each other grow more and more as days pass by and that may He put that light of guidance upon every Muslim to be able to actually remember Him and His Words and the values of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam left for them to practice.
Story was taken from
• Al Bidayah Wan Nihayah: 6/346
• As Sirah An Nabawiyah, Ibn Hisham: 2/102
not the same person as the original anon but classical, please? (re: female scholars)