every episode of criminal minds
  • Reid:*is injured and/or just having a hard time right now also he's probably on the floor*
  • Morgan:*worried about Reid*
  • Garcia:*worried about everyone*
  • Morgan and Garcia:*verbally doing it while they worry*
  • Prentiss:*speaking every language at once while shooting bottles off a fence from 6 miles away* *sins to win*
  • JJ:*being an actual angel she is literally floating while a choir sings heavenly in the background*
  • Hotch:*can't see because he's been trying to find his way out from under his eyebrows the entire episode* *eventually does, gets the job done, and goes home to his son*
  • Rossi:*getting in everybody else's shit so he can hear about their drama and write about it but not help*
  • Rossi:*spaghettis*

Alternately, imagine if they just replace Gibson with a brand new actor. And it’s never mentioned. Everyone just rolls with it.

“Where’s Hotch?”

“Oh, on his way. He said he’s not really feeling himself today.”

*Old Spice Guy walks in*


  • Hotch:the dad, has a resting bitch face, loves everyone but will not tell them, appreciates dogs
  • Gideon:the uncle, hotch and him are referred to as dad and bro, likes pats on the back and making people feel good
  • Rossi:weird highschool teacher that is deeply involved in your life, nosey, in your business, ???
  • Elle:mean older sister, likes picking on you, will steal your fries, if someone is mean to their younger sibling they will kick the crap out of them
  • Derek:older brother, loves everyone, don't get on his wrong side, will either kill you or hug you, doesn't want anyone else to be sad
  • JJ:middle child, hair is always perfect, kinda gay, is good at keeping secrets, always smells nice
  • Penelope:family friend that just kinda is always there, everyone has a nickname, computer nerd, will beat you in any video games, hella bi
  • Spencer:little baby child, thinks he can hold is own and sometimes can, only likes hugs sometimes, obsessed with Halloween, book worm, facts
  • Emily:older sister, very chill, very angry, likes girls, looks good in all clothes, will buy you icees, contemplates by looking out windows
who you should fight in criminal minds
  • aaron hotchner:he killed a man with his bare fucking hands. that should be reason enough to not fucking fight aaron hotchner.
  • emily prentiss:you could fight her and you’d probably lose, but life is already fighting her and winning so please don’t fight emily prentiss. give her a hug instead, maybe get her some coffee. don’t fight her.
  • jennifer jareau:she may look smol and non-threatening, but she will fucking beat the piss out of you in about 10 seconds flat. so don’t fight jennifer jareau, unless you enjoy being round-house kicked in the face.
  • derek morgan:do not fight derek morgan because he is derek morgan.
  • spencer reid:you could fight spencer reid and win, but why would you have any reason to fight spencer reid? because he beat you in a chess tournament? or keeps rambling about doctor who? why are you trying to fight that human lemur?
  • penelope garcia:you’d definitely win the fight, but fighting her would be like whaling on a kitten so you’re going to hell if you decide to fight penelope garcia. plus morgan would come and kill you. so don’t fight garcia.
  • alex blake:why are you still considering fighting fbi agents? don't fight alex blake? she could kill you? are you ok?
  • tara lewis:she hasn't been on the team long, but it's already apparent that you Should Not Fight Her.
  • jason gideon:he is a complete asshole and you should fight him. beat his ass. he’s dead but you can still kick the shit out of his corpse, please.
  • elle greenaway:don’t fight elle unless you have a death wish honestly why is this even under consideration.
  • kate callahan:she has 3 guns. don’t fight her.
  • david rossi:he may be up there in years, but he could still fucking beat your ass and nobody would feel bad for you. don't fight david rossi.
when hotch roasts an unsub/suspect:

👀👌gOod 👀 shIT👌hUh👀 go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do say so my self 💯 i say so 💯

Talk to me about Aaron Hotchner who is a sociopath and decided to be different and have a wife and child who lost the one who helped him feel and love to the hands of another sociopath. Who conceals his emotions because he feels to strongly. The “walking drill sergeant” is what people whisper.

Talk to me about Spencer Reid who dealt with being an autistic genius 12 year old in college, who dealt with his mom having schizophrenia, who dealt with drug addiction, anxiety, and depression. Who also has the possibility to become a schizophrenic. Who feels like he can’t help his mom or himself. The “prodigy boy genius” is all people seem

Talk to me about Emily Prentiss who moved around all the time and was never settled because her never around mom was an ambassador to the USA. Who dealt with her best friend having mental issues and drug addiction, who dealt with religious fanatics and had to choose to abort her child. Who was known as a “disappointment child”.

Talk to me about JJ who lost a sister to suicide when she was younger. Who deals with anxiety and depression too. Who watched her son and husband be taken hostage. Who herself was taken hostage and tortured. Who was the all star athlete and “perfect girl” because that’s what her parents wanted for her.

Talk to me about Derek Morgan who lost his dad while he was on the job. Who was known as a “gangbanger”. Who was sexually abused by someone he trusted, who suffered from anxiety and depression from that incident, who lost a cousin to a serial killer.

Talk to me about Penelope Garcia who was the nerdy little kid who got picked on for being “overweight” and “nerdy” and so she hacked the kids phones and put all their secrets on social media. Who had to deal with maybe an eating disorder and abusive parents which is why she loves technology more than the people around her. Who has such a pure heart.


i love it when hotch gets into his “fight me, bitch” moods and mercilessly destroys people on criminal minds. its so great. and it’s not just unsubs. it’s police officers and detectives… and strauss… and the director of the fbi… there is no one he wouldn’t fight, honestly. if the president ever pissed him off hotch would one hundred percent destroy that bitch. u don’t piss hotch off. u just don’t… don’t do it…unless u have a death wish..even then, u still don’t do it…