Watching criminal minds with my mom (who doesn't watch the show often but knows a passable amount about it)

Mom: so who’s that one(points to Reid)
Me: well mom that is Dr.Spencer , is from Las Vegas, Reid has an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can Reid 20,000 words per minute, carries his messenger bag more often than not on his right shoulder, has 3 Ph.D.s by the time he was 21 when he was a child his father, Walter, left him and his mother who is a paranoid schizophrenic and since schizophrenia is genetic spencer becomes a drug addict in season 2 to mid season 3 and almost started taking it again when Emily Prentiss “died” he is banned from casinos in Las Vegas for his card counting abilities, and the youngest member on the team, wears his watch over his long sleeves, graduated high school when he was 12 and was 14 when he was in college, in college he had to ride his bike to get places because the government wouldn’t issue him a license, and he knows there are 1,098 boats on Lake Mead…….And yeah that’s pretty much all I can come up with off the top of my head
Mom:…. Ok and who’s that? ( points to hotch)
Me: oh that’s Anthony Hotch or something like that I think he has a kid named James

Shield Has Fallen: 2

“Hi. I’m here to see Agent Hotchner.” You say with a smile to the Agent at the door.
“What is this about ma'am?”
“I’m here for a job interview.” He slides you a clipboard and you fill out your information then get a visitors pass from him. He escorts you to the 11th floor where the BAU is located in a large bullpen with glass doors. The first thing you notice is the group talking and laughing. They remind you of the group you’d had a S.H.I.E.L.D. a closely knit group. Or at least you had thought you were a tight group.
“This way ma'am.” The Agent says getting your attention. He leads you to a closed door that he knocks on. You can feel the other four agents staring at you, their curiosity has quieted them a bit.
“Come in!” A deep voice calls and your stomach does a little flip.
The interview is a blur. You don’t mention S.H.I.E.L.D. you can’t. Your time there and any affiliations with the former intelligence agency is classified. Anyways what would you say if you could mention it? ‘Oh and by the way I was an Agent at S.H.I.E.L.D. and was actually working with Hydra terrorists but you can totally trust me cuz I’m not a terrorist.’ Yea. Not so much.
Instead of going back to an empty apartment you head to the hospital. Texting Sharon during your walk causes you to take a bit more time than you expected it to but it’s well worth it. You’ll miss her more than you care to admit. You enter Steve’s room and see him doing push ups on the floor.
“Captain Rodgers!” You exclaim and he freezes then looks up at you guiltily.
“Sorry Doc. I’m just so bored.” He says dropping a knee and staring at you with those blue eyes.
“If you don’t rest you’re never going to heal properly!” You scold and he stands up so now you’re looking up at him.
“Sorry.”
“So is Sharon.”
“What?”
“She wanted me to tell you she was sorry. For not telling you she was S. H. E. I. L. D. and while I’m apologizing for her let me apologize for me too. I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you.”
“I understand it. I don’t like it but I understand.”
“Thanks.” You give him a small smile. “But don’t think I’ve forgotten about those push ups!” He chuckles softly and gives you a quick hug.
“Sorry again Doc.”
“Yea yea yea.” You laugh as the door pops open again.
“Oh sorry you two. Am I interrupting?” Sam teases two cups of coffee in his hands.
“You’re forgiven if I can have a sip of one of those.”
“Of course.” He hands you one then Steve the other. You take a sip then pass it back to Sam.
“Thanks. But now that I’ve checked in on Captain Rogers I should get going. You’ve got my cell number, stay in touch.”
“See you around neighbor.” Steve teases and you grin at him, what a dork. Now all there is to do is wait. Wait and see if the BAU wants you.

Alternately, imagine if they just replace Gibson with a brand new actor. And it’s never mentioned. Everyone just rolls with it.

“Where’s Hotch?”

“Oh, on his way. He said he’s not really feeling himself today.”

*Old Spice Guy walks in*

“LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT THE PROFILE. NOW BACK AT ME. WE’RE ON THE JET. NOW WE’RE ON A CASE.”

i love it when hotch gets into his “fight me, bitch” moods and mercilessly destroys people on criminal minds. its so great. and it’s not just unsubs. it’s police officers and detectives… and strauss… and the director of the fbi… there is no one he wouldn’t fight, honestly. if the president ever pissed him off hotch would one hundred percent destroy that bitch. u don’t piss hotch off. u just don’t… don’t do it…unless u have a death wish..even then, u still don’t do it…

  • Hotch:the dad, has a resting bitch face, loves everyone but will not tell them, appreciates dogs
  • Gideon:the uncle, hotch and him are referred to as dad and bro, likes pats on the back and making people feel good
  • Rossi:weird highschool teacher that is deeply involved in your life, nosey, in your business, ???
  • Elle:mean older sister, likes picking on you, will steal your fries, if someone is mean to their younger sibling they will kick the crap out of them
  • Derek:older brother, loves everyone, don't get on his wrong side, will either kill you or hug you, doesn't want anyone else to be sad
  • JJ:middle child, hair is always perfect, kinda gay, is good at keeping secrets, always smells nice
  • Penelope:family friend that just kinda is always there, everyone has a nickname, computer nerd, will beat you in any video games, hella bi
  • Spencer:little baby child, thinks he can hold is own and sometimes can, only likes hugs sometimes, obsessed with Halloween, book worm, facts
  • Emily:older sister, very chill, very angry, likes girls, looks good in all clothes, will buy you icees, contemplates by looking out windows