anonymous asked:

I just wanted to thank you for your response about asexuals. I'm ace but still heteromantic and it's been really tough because I don't identify as straight, but there's so much ace discourse in the lgbt community that I don't feel welcomed there.

Honestly, I am so sorry. You’re right, a lot of the community hasn’t been welcoming. They seem to think anyone who isn’t in a same-sex relationship is somehow not worthy of being in the “queer club”. It’s ridiculous. 

When I was 13 and in middle school, I was realizing I was bisexual, but I did have a preference for the opposite sex, and after some vitriolic crap from the community, I shut down and pretty much ignored that I was bi for, like, 7 years. Now, I’m far more interested in women, and suddenly I’m totally welcome to the club! Fuck that, I needed the support of the lgbtq community even when I was dating a guy, because I was still just as bisexual than as I am now.

And now I see it happened to asexuals! They go through a lot of the same hatred, harassment, and brush-offs that a lot of people in the community went through (Asexuality being considered an illness, correctional r*pe, disbelief and disregard of family and friends… those are all struggles the gay community faced too). I hate that asexuals who are in heteroromantic relationships are somehow “too straight”. Well, I dated the opposite sex too. Pansexuals, polysexuals, and bisexuals while not “hetero”, do date people of the opposite sex and they belong too. Many trans folk are straight and in heterosexual relationships. They belong. AND SO DO ASEXUALS AND AROMANTICS. 

It’s not about “being gay” or “not being hetero”, it’s about being different than the largely cisgender, heterosexual/heteroromantic population that gets us ostracized and mistreated due to our orientations and identities. It’s hard to exactly put into the words but they “gatekeepers” do know what I’m saying and they’re just being jerks. 

I am so, so sorry that you don’t feel comfortable in a community that you definitely, 110% belong too. I am not asexual or aromantic, but you and others are always welcome to reach out to me if you need. I don’t know if I’ll always understand or maybe I’ll put my foot in my mouth, but you’re valid. YOU’RE VALID. 

*screams from the mountains* YOU’RE VALID, WELCOME TO THE COMMUNITY!!


¿Magia? nope, ¡física!

If you’re ace/aro and also part of another oppressed group (or groups) that gets desexualized/hypersexualized by society, you are valid. 

Every part of you deserves to be respected and celebrated. You are not ‘betraying’ part of yourself or your communities by being ace/aro. 

You are you and you deserve to be yourself fully and completely without anyone giving you shit for it.


@rorzcach @jagged Hey. Figured I’d put these up because I am at least one of the ones that requested @plsklance to make the icons. I find it quite funny that OP “should have apologized to the LBGT community for thinking ours and the ace community’s are in any way comparable.” You do realize what the full acronym is right? The “A” isn’t just for show, and despite what you obviously think, it doesn’t stand for “asshole”–though apparently there’s plenty of those among the rest of OUR LBGTQIA+ community. Like @friendly-neighborhood-hufflepuff I will also make more flags upon request!

Having said it before I feel it should always be restated: aro/ace people deserve to exist and should have a place in the LGBT+ community, non-binary people deserve to exist and should have a place in the LGBT+ community, pansexual people deserve to exist and should have a place in the LGBT+ community. transphobic lesbian/gay/bi whatever people do not end of story


Aro/Ace people exist
No one demands that they defend their identities
No one erases the discrimination and obstacles that they face
No one tells them that they can't​ identify as Aro/Ace
No one belittled or diagnoses them
No one tells them that they are incomplete
No one tells them that, “it’ll change”
No one forces them to hide in the closet

Aros and Aces are allowed to exist in peace without harassment and all is right with the world

(It’ll happen someday)