AND UR CUTE LITTLE FACE

i tried to catch a spider that was in my room so i could take him outside, but the little bastard leapt out of my hands and absconded into the curtain behind my piano. like, listen little buddy, i’m trying to save ur ass. i’m willing and able to catch you and take you outside where you may fulfill your purpose and a tiny harmless creature. if my nana finds you, you’re fuckin dead. nana doesn’t have the time or the patience to pick up ur sorry ass and take u outside. ur signing ur own death warrant

anyway i named him carl

I’m sick and I feel like poo but I’m still cute