AND THEN THERE'S PROWL

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FOR WT 2017 GOERS

I cannot just sit back and read about inappropriate behavior from Chris Biersack anymore. GUYS FORWARD THIS TO THAT FUNNY GIRL WHO DID THAT CORNS PARODY VIDEO. SHELL BRING LIFE TO THIS PERFECTLY!

Anyone going to WT this year watch the fuck out!!! Theres a big ass pedo-on-the-prowl lurking the grounds of WT…and he goes by the name of Chris Biersack. Hes obsessed with his sons life and career that he dedicates all his day creepin on minors online! He loves to engage in sexual conversations with HIS SONS FANS! If you see this demented circus monkey keep your eyes open and your hands tight over your chest!

Now, I understand that theres tons of weirdos who attend WT each year. So, I gathered this helpful list to assist you determine if it is intact Chris you’ve just entered:

#1 Chris makes sure to always let everyone know he’s BVB’s #1 Fan. So you can bet your ass hell be dresses like a teen decked out in full BVB attire to lure you in! DONT BE FOOLED!

#2 He’ll be acting like a winey little bitch arguing with 12-14yr olds that ANDY IS IN FACT THE BEST ARTIST IN TH WORLD! HES THE MOST FAMOUS, TALENTED MUSICIAN KNOWN TO MAN HES BASICALLY EQUAL TO JAMES HETFIELD!

Once you’ve determined you have in fact spotted the perv heres a list of steps to take!

#1 BITCH WHIP OUT YOUR PHONE! Record video, photos, and/or audios! and immediately send to wehatejulietsimms.tumblr.com aASAP!

#2: Keep an eye on his hands! Chris has been known to be handsy so you want to keep an eye on them at all times. 

Feel free to add any additional tips and plan of action! 

WE WILL NOT LET THIS PORK BELLY PERVERT WIN!

DON’T WORRY GIRLS WE GOT YOUR BACK! This jelly belly is going down! 

If Jamie and Claire (and Wee Ian) could text: Jamie Fraser, Indian Agent" (ABOSAA) Edition
  • Wee Ian: now, dinna be cross auntie
  • Claire: well this is off to an excellent start
  • Claire: don't be cross about WHAT, precisely
  • Claire: if you tell me you or rollo knocked your uncle off a cliff on the way to the cherokee village i will ABSOLUTELY be cross
  • Wee Ian: no no no nothin like that :)
  • Wee Ian: I may have accidentally led the village folk to think Uncle Jamie's the king
  • Claire: the king?
  • Claire: of...England?
  • Wee Ian: aye, just that
  • Claire: erm...
  • Claire: might I ask why?
  • Claire: (I really don't think you needed to give him any more reason to be full of himself to be honest)
  • Wee Ian: weeel, there's no really a word in their language for agent, ye see
  • Wee Ian: and it was important to make sure they knew he had authority, so
  • Claire: so, King Fraser it is
  • Claire: he'll be insufferable i'm sure ;)
  • Claire: ...but hold on
  • Claire: why are you apologizing for that?
  • Claire: doesn't seem a great problem
  • Claire: least of all in the middle of the bloody night
  • Wee Ian: s'not that precisely
  • Wee Ian: see, they've taken it upon themselves to..erm...honor the visiting king
  • Claire: ....'kay.....
  • Wee Ian: ....with gifts....
  • Claire: ian this is getting tiresome.
  • Claire: what KINDS of gifts
  • Wee Ian: pelts
  • Claire: what's the problem with
  • Wee Ian: LADY pelts
  • Wee Ian: two of em
  • Claire: WHAT????
  • Wee Ian: AND I WANTED TO TEXT YOU MESELF SO THAT YE DIDNA THINK HE WAS BEIN UNFAITHFUL BUT THEY"RE IN HIS BED AND HE'S KEEPIN THEM AWAY FROM HIS JOLLY BITS
  • Wee Ian: BUT HE CANNA JUST THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE AN INSULT
  • Wee Ian: SO HE'S JUST GOING TO BE VRRA UNCOMFORTABLE AND BLUE BALLSY ALL NIGHT
  • Wee Ian: AND I JUST AM TELLIN YE BECAUSE S'ALL MY FAULT OKAY?? DINNA BE FASHED WI HIM IT"S ME THAT'S DONE IT
  • Claire: ....
  • Claire: I should be furious but honestly I just cnt stop laughing
  • Wee Ian: I KEN , RIGHT???? 😂😂😂😂😂
  • Wee Ian: god above it's the most fun i've had in months
  • Wee Ian: they are DETERMINED
  • Wee Ian: and every few moments there just comes a wee sound from him
  • Wee Ian: like a pup that's got his tail trod on
  • Wee Ian: and i'm gnna pass out
  • Claire: OH GOD I CAN JUST HEAR IT
  • Claire: and there's TWO OF THEM ON THE PROWL??
  • wee Ian: aye!! Slippery wee things too. Bet they're used to catching trout wi their bare hands
  • >>>Claire has added Jamie Fraser to the chat<<<
  • Claire: I hear you're having a rough night, darling!
  • Wee Ian: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 imgnapiss
  • Jamie: Ian ye [incoherent gaelic cursing] what in gods name did ye have to bring your auntie into all this
  • Jamie: can ye not tell i'm dying of shame already???
  • Wee Ian: god but it's so fun uncle
  • Claire: It's fine darling i promise
  • Claire: Ian was just explaining that if you come home with bruises and love bites, it was only from defending your virtue
  • Jamie: sassenach I'm so so sorry about this, truly
  • Claire: how about the old Dame Blanche trick?
  • Claire: can't sleep with them because your wife's a witch that'll curse them??
  • Jamie: OH THANK HEAVEN THATS GENIUS CLAIRE
  • Jamie: will take it down a notch or two but an OATH will do quite nicely
  • Jamie: you're a Saint MND
  • Claire: you have my full support darl
  • Wee Ian: OH MY GOD UNCLE
  • Claire: what??
  • Jamie: WHAT??
  • Wee Ian: did ye no hear what the littler one just said??
  • Jamie: I mean i HEARD but I dinna understand everything she says
  • Wee Ian: she's saying how distraught she is that you've got the otath on ye because you're so....
  • wee Ian: : well equipped
  • Jamie: oh lord
  • Wee Ian: shewantsthegingerD
  • Claire: well at least she's got good taste
  • Jamie: :) That's verra sweet, sassenach
  • Claire: well, she DOES.
  • Claire: You ARE quite the tidy package
  • Jamie: aye... weel...
  • Claire: very befitting a KING
  • Jamie: oh jesus christ
  • Claire: Crown jewels and all
  • Jamie: ☺️☺️☺️😏😏😏
  • Claire: come home to me soon, your majesty?
  • Jamie: soon as I can
  • Jamie: canna wait to worship ye wi' tongues at your
  • Wee Ian: BELIEVE IT OR NOT
  • Wee Ian: this is getting a wee bit personal
  • Wee Ian: even for me
  • Wee Ian: why don't ye tell them i'm your son, uncle Jamie, and see if they'd like to come pay ME some honor
  • Jamie: alright hold on
  • Wee Ian: this night keeps getting better and better
  • Claire: cocky, aren't we?
  • Wee Ian: oh aye well that's the general--
  • Jamie: sorry Ian
  • Jamie: seems as though they'd prefer to keep me chastely warm instead
  • Claire: PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, that's GOT to hurt, wee prince !!
  • Wee Ian: 😒😒😒😒😒😒

me: theres almost no lockdown/prowl content thats not over 5 years old

my brain: yes, if you want more of it you have to make it yourse–

me: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

4

a letter from the dark side (insp.)

Ive been thinking about a zombie apocalypse au for egobang but only for two very specific scenarios lmao:

The first was a Warm Bodies au with lone survivor Arin trudging along the destroyed streets of LA until he accidentally stumbles across a zombified Danny. Hes tall and lanky and absolutely terrified of the shotgun aimed inbetween his eyes.

Danny brings one finger to his lips to lightly ‘shhh’ him only to flinch when Arin clicks the safety off. When he doesnt lower the gun, Dan gently turns his head to the left and looks behind Arin, motioning him to do the same. Arin grudginly follows the movement only to have his whole body seize up in fear; theres a pack of ghouls (skinwalkers?) prowling beside them unaware of their prescence.

Danny offers to lead him to the exit and when they escape, Arin lets out a breath he had no idea he was holding. He insists they have a truce until hes able to exit the city safely. It works well at first but then Dan is showing him the apartment hes been chillin in and hes making him listen to all of his favorite bands and he cant talk but Arin is slowly starting to wish that he could. He finds himself constantly forgetting about this truce theyve set up and hes starting to wonder if maybe hes doing it on purpose…

The second one…now dont judge me lmao… is a left 4 dead au w Danny as a lone survivor being rescued by Arin as a Hunter. He usually stays cooped up in the apartments because hes better with a sniper than with anything close range but hes been running low on resources so he needs to make a quick run to restock.

As hes walking, he can hear the sound of claws scraping against one of the rooftops and he instantly breaks into a run; trying to see if he can outmanuever the rogue hunter. He decides to risk looking back only to see that same hunter in mid-pounce and gaining on him. As quickly as he appeared, he vanished leaving Danny dumbfounded as to where he went. It only takes seconds for him to hear a loud deafening screech coming from behind the building followed by the sound of some bones snapping.

He wants to go back to the hideout and restock some other time but whatever killed that Hunter is definitely strong enough to kill him and hes in the same direction he needs to go through. Before he can make a decision, a second Hunter appears from behind the building frantically looking up and down the streets. When his eyes land on Danny he yelps, pouncing right up in front of him and scaring the shit out of the human.

Dannys heart is hammering in his chest as the Hunter gently checks both of his forearms and neck. He stares him in the eye and grins, satisfied with whatever checkup he just completed. When he makes it clear hes not leaving him alone, Danny nervously decides to continue walking towards the shops to restock.

This Hunter is insistent on staying by his side, constantly checking down alleyways and up above the rooftops for any potential threats and when hes finished looting, he walks him all the way back to the apartments. It completely baffles Danny because without meaning to, hes accidentally adopted a Hunter bodyguard.

I might add more to this, i already have designs in my head bc im a huge nerd ™