AND THEN THAT MOTHERFUCKER COMES AND SAYS THAT

some bits of the second season of sense8 did i’ll never recover from:

  • the “who am I?” speech
  • every time all eight of them were together
  • capheus and kala and wolfie connecting through sex
  • riley and will tricking whispers with seagulls
  • all eight of them with sun at the cemetery
  • dani being lito’s agent
  • “are you sure?”
  • wolfie appearing next to lito when joaquin threatens him
  • sun not giving a fuck about lito crying
  • kala and wolfie sex
  • “wolfgang?” “ask for help?” “can’t picture it”
  • sun and her dog
  • lito screaming at the museum
  • “take your hands off my daughter”
  • kala saying “bring it, bitch”
  • all sensates coming together for the head move of wolfie’s on lila
  • sun showing sexist and transphobic motherfuckers you don’t mess with her or with her cluster
  • são paulo pride parade
  • amanita and nomi getting engaged
  • wolfie’s face when rajan kisses him
  • kala blowing up a car
  • sun chasing after her brother using only a bra and panties
  • will beating up whispers
  • “You want a war? We’ll give you a war”
  • every about this fucking season
hamilton songs renamed
  • alexander hamilton: that's my name, don't wear it out
  • aaron burr sir: HEY LOOK ORPHAN BUDDIES WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS
  • my shot: squad get hype™
  • the story of tonight: look how lit we are, everyone's gonna remember us
  • the schuyler sisters: feminism (and peggy)
  • farmer refuted: loyalists can kiss my ass
  • you'll be back: the 18th century equivalent of the angry break up song
  • right hand man: WE ARE OUTGUNNED OUTMANNED
  • a winter's ball: who knew the revolution was so slutty?
  • helpless: i'm literally so in love right now ahhhh
  • satisfied: WHAT THE HECK I GOTTA DOOOO TO BE WITH YOU
  • the story of tonight (reprise): very very very very drunk
  • wait for it: procrastination, the showtune
  • stay alive: I'M A GENERAL, WHEEEEE
  • ten duel commandments: okay, so we're doing this
  • meet me inside: alex has daddy issues™
  • that would be enough: you and i, and no one else
  • guns and ships: lafayette go fast like sanic
  • history has its eyes on you: dad wants son back
  • yorktown: the final battle, feat. HERCULES MULLIGAN
  • what comes next: awesome. wow.
  • dear theodosia: LOOK AT MY SON
  • non stop: i dare you to sing all the parts at once
  • what'd i miss: bonjour y'all
  • cabinet battle #1: the founding roast masters™
  • take a break: philip is a smol feat. comma placement
  • say no to this: HOE DON'T DO IT
  • the room where it happens: CLICK BOOM
  • schuyler defeated: this song is completely irrelevant
  • cabinet battle #2: we find out that jefferson was actually just lafayette this whole entire time
  • washington on your side: SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS
  • one last time: dad has to leave™
  • i know him: john ayyydums?
  • the adams administration: SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER
  • we know: #exposed
  • hurricane: yeah, i'd pay for alex to be shipped to another continent too
  • the reynolds pamphlet: great googly moogly, everything's gone to shit
  • burn: cinnamon roll turns out to be a pyromaniac
  • blow us all away: alex gives shitty advice
  • stay alive (reprise): take the bullets out yo son
  • it's quiet uptown: try not to cry
  • the election of 1800: a breif break from sadness
  • your obedient servant: sarcasm level 10000000
  • best of wives and best of women: alex seriously you need to sleep
  • the world was wide enough: ya done fucked up ay ay ron
  • who lives who dies who tells your story: eliza hamilton is the true hero of the show
high quality meme starters

taken from all over the internet, some specifically from the youtube channel siIvagunner . 

  • ❝ can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BONELESS PIZZA
  • ❝ and his name is ……. JOHN CENA !
  • ❝ succ ❞
  • ❝ BUENOS DIAS MANDY ❞
  • ❝ n - nani ?!?
  • ❝ omae wa, mou shindeiru . ❞
  • ❝ how many layers of irony are you on right now ?
  • SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME . ❞
  • [ obnoxious sound of the ever popular rickroll ]
  • ❝ they see me rollin’ . they hatin’ . ❞
  • ❝ todokete, setsunasa ni wa !
  • ❝ nice of the princess to invite us over for dinner, gay __ ?
  • ❝ i hope she made lotsa spaghetti !
  • ❝ it’s the nutshack !
  • ❝ BITCH YOU GUESSED IT !
  • ❝ AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
  • ❝ whoa …. whoa …. whoa …….. WHOA ! WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA
  • ❝ gee ! it sure is BORING around here !
  • ❝ you know what they say: all toasters … toast toast !
  • ❝ it’s hiiiiiiigh noon . ❞
  • ❝ eyyyyyyyyy, sexy lady !
  • ❝ nice . >:] ❞
  • ❝ i’ll have a number nine large . ❞
  • ❝ the more you know !
  • ❝ look at my horse . my horse is amazing . ❞
  • ❝ epic jojoke . ❞
  • ❝ squadala, we’re off !
  • ❝ are you sure about that ?
  • [ dabs ]
  • ❝ let it go ! let it go !
  • ❝ are you …. a real villain ?
  • ❝ well, uh … technically, uh …. nah . ❞
  • ❝ we are number one !
  • ❝ notice me, senpai !
  • ❝ you’re gonna have a bad time  - sans undertale [ 2015 ]
  • ❝ pokemon go to the polls . ❞
  • ❝ is only game . why u hef to be mad ?
  • ❝ snooPINGAS usual i see . ❞
  • ❝ POOTIS . ❞
  • ❝ ECH . ❞
  • ❝ do not presume . ❞
  • ❝ i’m gay . ❞
  • ❝ i have crippling depression !
  • ❝ expand dong . ❞
  • ❝ HE HAS NO STYLE ! HE HAS NO GRACE !
  • ❝ according to all known laws of aviation
  • ❝ what the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch ?
  • ❝ GOOD SHIT . ❞
  • ❝ i play pokemon go everyday !
  • ❝ BEGONE, THOT . ❞
  • ❝ jesus christ it’s jason bourne . ❞
  • ❝ BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY STAND !
  • taaaaaaaake oooooooooon meeeeeeeeee !
  • ❝ GET TO THE CHOPPA !
  • ❝ all your base . now belong to us . ❞
  • WOOMY . ❞
  • ❝ i used to be an adventurer like you, until i took an arrow to the knee . ❞
  • ❝ look at this dude . oh nononononono …. ❞
  • ❝ i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand !
  • ❝ exotic butters . ❞
  • ❝ gotta go fast !
  • ❝ what does the fox say ?
  • ❝ pen pineapple apple pen . ❞
  • ❝ NOOOOOOO . PLEASE GOD NO, NO . NO . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • ❝ get out of my swamp !
  • ❝ look at all those chickens !
  • ❝ i’m blue, dabudee dabudi . ❞
  • ❝ thank you, __ ! but your princess is in another castle !
  • ❝ here i come, rougher than the rest of them . ❞
  • HEHEHE I AM A SUPAHSTAR WARRIAH
  • ❝ press f to pay respects . ❞
  • ❝ the cake is a lie . ❞
  • ❝ owo what’s this ?
  • SAY WHAAAAAAAT ?
  • ❝ now this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down . ❞
  • ❝ it’s lit, fam !
  • ❝ yes, hello . i was wondering i you could play that song, again . ❞
  • ❝ smoke weed every day . ❞
  • ❝ but hey, that’s just a theory ! A GAME THEORY !
  • ❝ is that a motherfucking jojo reference ???
  • [ room on fire ] this is fine . ❞
  • ❝ fuck the police, comin’ straight from the underground !
  • ❝ this bitch empty . YEET !
  • ❝ god i wish that was me . ❞
  • ❝ fuck this shit i’m out . ❞
  • [ knuckles voice ] oh no . ❞
  • ❝ yeah bOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
  • ❝ dicks out for harambe . ❞
  • ❝ guess i’ll die . ❞
  • ❝ ya like jazz ?
  • ❝ ow the edge ❞
  • W H O M S T’ D V E
  • ❝ words can’t hurt me these shades are gucci . ❞
  • ❝ __, shut the fuck up and get the fuck out . ❞
  • ❝ it’s over nine thousand !!
  • ❝ HEEEEEEYEYAAAAAEYAAAEYEYE !!!!
  • ❝ rollin’ around at the speed of sound !
  • ❝ but that all changed when the fire nation attacked . ❞
  • ❝ that day, humanity received a grim reminder . ❞
  • ❝ DOH !
  • ❝ two to the one to the one to the three . ❞
  • ❝ so long, gay bowser !
  • ❝ WEEWOO WEEWOO ❞
  • ❝ GRAND DAD . ❞
  • ❝ IT’S HIP TO FUCK BEES . ❞
  • DON’T FUCK WITH ME I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE
  • ❝ inhale my dong enragement child ❞
  • ❝ HERE COME DAT BOI ❞
  • ❝ look at this photograph !
  • ❝ souljia boy i tell ‘em . ❞
  • ❝ you know i had to do it to ‘em . ❞
  • ❝ wake me up [ WAKE ME UP INSIDE ]
  • ❝ can’t touch this . ❞
  • ❝ deja vu ! i’ve just been in this place before !

Okay but like the thing that Wonder Woman explores so beautifully is the root of the Diana-Bruce dynamic in BvS and Justice League. 

Like, listen. Steve Trevor taught her how to love, but he also taught her what being human meant, that they screw up some times, that they can be mean or cold or cruel but that mixed up with all that darkness they have love and a wish to do better and they are so much more and by the end of Wonder Woman she believes this fully. 

But then, how did we get to BvS’s disillusioned, distant, not-getting-involved Diana? She says it herself: she witnessed “a century of horrors”. She saw World War II just after stopping the first. She saw men throw the Atomic Bomb. She saw the cold war, Vietnam, terrorism. All of this. And heart broken, eventually, she walked away, because Steve is gone and maybe so is the humanity she believed in. 

So come BvS she tries to stay away. She really tries. And it’s only her commitment to helping and protecting innocents that brings her back because suddenly this isn’t a human-on-human conflict, it’s a motherfucking monster of godly proportions and okay maybe that she can deal with. Okay, she’ll put up with the boys and their dick-measuring contest. 

And it’s only in the end, when she’s standing next to Bruce after Clark’s funeral that everything changes. Because she just saw this two men put aside their differences to protect the world. She saw Clark give up his life to save everyone else. She saw Bruce radically change his views and accept he was wrong. 

And then, AND THEN, after seeing all this darkness in them —in humanity— comes this man full of darkness and pain, who is tired of being disappointed by humankind just as much as her, and he says: “men are still good.”

And THAT is the whole thing about her motto, about her core belief, about what learnt from Steve and what she so truly believed that she could defeat the god of war itself. And here is this man, a century later, reaffirming that belief, understanding her core without even meaning to. So she stays. And she works with him. And they form a league. 

It’s just so important to me that if you put Wonder Woman and BvS together and the opening and closing scene is related to Bruce helping her recover a part of herself she’d lost and helping her remember who she is and why she fights and i’m so emotional fuck fuck fuck

What your favorite 3D console Zelda game says about you:
  • Ocarina of Time: You were born in the late 80s or early 90s and spent your childhood reading fantasy novels. You played this game when it was relatively new and it Changed Your Life™. You're a hardcore fan of the series but you bitch about every new game that comes out.
  • Majora's Mask: You love art games and stan for indie developers. You can't take anything at face value and love grimdark introspective AUs of innocuous stories. You almost definitely had a Hot Topic phase in middle school. Halloween is your favorite holiday.
  • Wind Waker: You're either a bright and innocent soul who loves adventure or a dead-eyed jaded motherfucker. Whenever anyone says the words "kiddie shit" you go ballistic.
  • Twilight Princess: Ocarina of Time fan born eight years later. You're not nearly as elitist as they are which makes them see you as their sworn ememy.
  • Skyward Sword: You're very soft and have a pastel tumblr theme with tiny text. You still love Disney movies. Hardcore Zelink shipper.
  • Breath of the Wild: You have Breath of the Wild and I hate you.
YouTuber AU

there aren’t enough of these so I’ve decided to add my own because why the hell not.

  • Percy -mutherfuckin- Jackson
  • His username would be super basic like BabyPoseidon or something. 
  • His video’s would all be about random stories he would make up like “HOW TO SURVIVE AN ANGRY GIRLFRIEND” and Annabeth would be in the thumbnail just flipping the bird to Percy as he runs down the street.
  • “How I Got Kicked Out of (another) Walmart” would be his most viewed videos because he’s been kicked out of multiple Walmarts.
  • Annabeth Chase
  • her channel name would be like Do-It-With-Money instead of like Do-It-Yourself because she doesn’t understand the points or diys but she does them anyway
  • You wouldn’t fuck with her
  • she’d be that one YouTuber kinda like a DIY girl except at the end she’d let Leo set everything on fire because When in the world am I going to need an edible phone case.
  • in most of the backgrounds during her filming you would either A) hear Percy or B) see him running down the hallway to fuck with her filming.
  • “How to Bury Your Boyfriend’s Body” would be her most viewed video because it’s fucking hilarious
  • Hazel Levesque
  • she’d be the new Thomas Sanders. 
  • Do i need to put anything else because i don’t think i do
  • Jason Grace
  • holy shit
  • he’d be the new Bill Nye the Science Guy
  • except either Piper or Percy would be with him at all times and they’d either almost burn his house down or almost kill a gerbil
  • “PERCY I SAID NO GERBIL WHAT THE FUCK WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET A - YOU KNOW WHAT I DON’T WANNA KNOw”
  • he’d try and do makeup tutorials but Piper would come in half-way and just do it for him
  • Piper Mclean
  • She’d do the makeup halloween things but
  • she’d also be the biggest motherfucking prankster ever
  • Leo would frequently help her put freaking baby powder in Jason’s hair dryer
  • “Why I Might Need a New Identity” is her most viewed video because she almost burns down a Target bathroom
  • Leo Valdez
  • He’d be the new gamer and also prankster
  • he’d say this game isn’t scary and then promptly fall out of his chair
  • Calypso would be in the background just like im dating this dumbass
  • he’d also have a weekly cooking show with Calypso where she tries to take it seriously but he’d just like let’s ADD SOME GUMMYBEARS TO THE LASAGNA
  • I don’t think Frank would have one he’d be too busy volunteering at animal shelters and shit
  • but he is in 99% of Hazel’s videos 
  • its practically a collab channel at this point
  • Nico
  • he’d be the angsty gay one
  • except he wouldn’t come out
  • in a Q+A one of the questions would be When are we gonna meet your girlfriend and he’d just fuckin DIE OF LAUGHTER
  • “Do i honestly even look straight to you guys? I mean, phan is a thing right?”
  • Im sorry but i have to add Will
  • because he’d be the one to nurture people on health but in the stupidest ways possible like
  • Way To Not Die #782: Don’t drink Cyanide. Just, don’t? PLease?
  • He’d be in a secret relationship with Nico and everyone ships them
  • they’d always show up in the background of each other’s videos doing the stupidest shit ex: shooting a bow and arrow at a china cabinet or pretending to be a stripper
  • whenever Nico would call him while recording Will would pick up and just scream “WADDUP BITCH”
  • And if he was still recording when Nico got home Nico would either A) kick over his tripod or B) dump a bucket of something on his head

im sorry but i needed to do this

msdistress said: I saw that civilized werewolves being super competitive when it comes to other packs, and now I can only imagine an AU where (adult) Stiles and Scott are renting a house together, and Derek moves in the same area. And while the McCall pack and the entire Hale pack (Talia, Laura, etc.) are on civilized terms, Scott and Derek just can’t help themselves. And maybe a part of the showing off is actually a way to impress (court) Stiles, as in “My lawn ornaments are much nicer than his!”

So this is kind of that, but kind of not? This is pretty silly :) Happy Halloween!


“You’re not dead,” Stiles says as Scott bangs open the door and shucks off his shoes in the next movement. They hit the wall and then bounce into an ungainly pile in the middle of the hallway that Liam will no doubt trip over when he gets home.

“Nope,” Scott says. He looks confused by that part.

“So… That’s good?” Stiles has pumpkin guts all over his hands, but offers Scott a fist bump anyway.

Scott follows Stiles back into the kitchen and then plops down across from Stiles’s half-finished jack-o-lanterns at the counter. He’s a couple weeks early, but Halloween has to be taken seriously. These are practice pumpkins.

Scott says, “It was weird. I think they’re all models. They force-fed me pie.”

Stiles arches a skeptical eyebrow.

“I mean, the pie was great,” Scott says, face screwed up. “I think they were happy I ate the whole thing?”

Werewolf metabolism, Stiles thinks sourly. He’s getting to that age where he has to watch his beer and pizza intake. It sucks. He says, “I’ll make them brownies,” and then apparently it becomes a thing.

*

Stiles doesn’t know if the Hale pack are actually all models, but they’re definitely taking the supernaturally hot thing to a whole other level.

Scott’s betas are reasonably attractive, sure, but Liam’s the size of a cave troll and Mason’s on this whole hippie-chic kick that makes him look like a train hobo.

Stiles holds out the plate of brownies and tries not to stare at Erica’s boobs. Boyd has the bulging chest of a roman gladiator and Stiles could cut his hands on Isaac’s cheekbones, it’s insane.

Stiles says, “Nice to meet you guys,” and Erica’s lip curls up and her hands hover around the plastic-wrapped plate like it’s made of poison and-or possibly oatmeal. He waggles the plate back and forth. “Promise they’re wolfsbane free.”

And then Jackson fucking Whittmore comes swanning down the staircase and Stiles says, “You’ve got to be shitting me. Jackson?”

“Stilinski,” Jackson says with a scowl.

“Lydia told us you got eaten by a giant lizard.”

Jackson scowls harder. “Fuck off.”

Stiles would like to say that the addition of Jackson makes the pack less appealing, but despite having the personality of a canned ham, Jackson still looks like he was carved out of marble. Balls.

And then someone says, “Do I smell chocolate?” from behind Stiles and he definitely does not jump three feet into the air, but it’s a close call.

He flinches and spins around and says, “Fuck my life.”

The hottest mountain man Stiles has ever seen is frowning at him and Stiles wants to bury his entire body in his beard. He wants to weasel his way under that soft-looking Henley and lick his collarbones. Stiles is ninety-nine percent sure this is Alpha Derek Hale, even though Scott had failed to prepare him for the way Derek’s eyes are eating Stiles’s soul.

Stiles wordlessly holds out the plate of brownies.

Derek takes them with a resigned silence. No one else is saying anything either, and the back of Stiles’s neck is starting to prickle with unease. Are they going to eat him now? They’d moved into town so Liam and Mason could go to the local college, expecting some kind of resistance, territorial posturing, possible brawl for dominance, but Scott had been tirelessly optimistic—even more so since the pie eating thing.

Stiles slinks around Derek, hands up. He says, “I’ll just, uh… leave now,” and backs down the sidewalk so he can see any kind of attack coming. He’s got a taser in his back pocket and he’s not afraid to use it.

The Hale pack all watch him with narrow, calculating eyes and Jackson gives him the finger.

Stiles thinks that if this is the way they react to brownies, he’s going to bake them a motherfucking cake.

Keep reading

episode two :: Yuri realizes, suddenly and terribly, he might be a little bit in love.  


Victor doesn’t even try to go to sleep.  He just lays in bed with his laptop, watching the thirty-seven takes of Yuuri trying to get “hi, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the Bachelor” out of his mouth.

Don’t they know who I am?” Yuuri slurs on screen.  

Yuuri, you have to put the champagne bottle down, you have to pretend to be sober,” Phichit says off camera, all authority gone from his voice.  He’s trying not to laugh.

Phichit,” Yuuri says, and he takes a big swig from the bottle, bubbles pouring down both sides of his lips. “You can’t tell me what to do.  I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the motherfucking Bachelor.

Keep reading

My In Depth Analysis of all the songs on the RWBY Soundtrack

Volume 1:

This Will Be The Day: “I may be small but I can fuck you up" 

Red Like Roses Part 1: "Basic Info about everyone" 

Mirror Mirror: "I’m lonely and my life sucks" 

From Shadows: "VIVA LA REVOLUTION MOTHERFUCKERS!”

I Burn: “I’m a badass and I know it." 

Red Like Roses Part 2: “MOM WHY”

Gold: "My sister is the most important thing in the world to me" 

I May Fall: "Someday I’m gonna die, but you won’t be the one to kill me!”

Wings: “You had a shit life but you’re with friends now”

Volume 2:

Time To Say Goodbye: “Shit will get real, and we need to be ready." 

Die: "Shit has gotten real, and we aren’t ready." 

Shine: "Shit, I’m in love" 

Dream Come True: A combination of "Notice me Jaune!” and “Weiss diss track”

Caffeine: “INCOMING CAFFEINE FUELED BADASSES" 

All My Days: "My sister has always been the most important thing to me" 

Boop: "Shit, I’m in love" 

Sacrifice: "I’m not gonna die for you.”

Volume 3:

It’s My Turn: “Fuck you dad" 

Not Fall In Love With You: "Shit, I’m in love”

Neon: “I’m better than everyone" 

Mirror Mirror Part II: "Fuck you dad" 

When It Falls: "Shit will go down and you can’t stop it”

I’m The One: “We had fucked up pasts but we’re still gonna murder you”

Divide: “You done fucked up, and I’m gonna fuck you up even more.”

Cold:  "Goodbye Pyrrha/Monty"

Volume 4:

Let’s Just Live: “Life fucking sucks, but we need to move forward anyway" 

Like Morning Follows Night: "Stay away from me, my life sucks!” combined with “I know your life sucks,  but I’m still standing by your side." 

Bad Luck Charm: "My life fucking sucks, you shouldn’t get close to me" 

This Life Is Mine: "Fuck you dad”

Home: “I don’t know what’s gonna happen next, but I’m with my friends so it’s all good." 

Armed and Ready: "PUNS” combined with “Adam you done fucked up" 

Lusus Nauture: "The Grimm are beautiful” combined with “I’m not crazy!”

Bmblb: “The sweetest love song on the RWBY Soundtrack. Literally.”

Volume 5: (So Far)

The Triumph: “Life fucking sucks, but we’re gonna kick some ass so it’s all good" 

Ignite: "Prepare to get punched." 

The Path of Isolation: "My life fucking sucks." 

Smile: "I’m gonna smile while I kick ass and take revenge”

EDIT: FUCK I FORGOT RED LIKE ROSES PART 2.

PG ERA:

1- Randy Orton commits arson.
2- Bray Wyatt baptizes himself with the ashes of his dead sister.
3- Xavier Woods says “I’m the only one that blows my girl”.
4- Brock Lesnar: “I don’t give a shit about your kids”.
5- John Cena calls The Miz a “puss”.
6- The name of a segment was actually “Total Bellas Bulls***”
7- Seth Rollins commits arson and probably killed a security guard (trailer of WWE 2k18)
8- Casshole
9- “Big E, let’s just keep it PG, you know what’s good. Just don’t get all rated-R, like your boy Xavier Woods”.
10- Big Cass to Seth Rollins: “No matter what you have been telling yourself the past few years… Size does matter”.
11- AJ Styles to The Miz (and Maryse): “After the beating I gave you, I’m surprised you don’t perform with a limp. Or does he, Maryse?”
12- Enzo Amore “naked”.
13- THE JESUS ZIPPER.
14- Rusev to Big Cass: “Your boy has a huge problem.”
Enzo Amore (who is “naked”): “I woulnd’t call it a problem.”
15- Randy  Orton: “Clearly, Miz, you are an expert with playing with yourself.”
16- Lana “cheats” on her husband seducing Enzo Amore in a hotel room.
17- Roman Reigns almost kills Braun Strowman when crashed an ambulance where Braun was in.
18- Eva Marie has a “wardrobe malfunction”.
19- Sasha to Charlotte: “If it wasn’t for a one night stand you probably wouldn’t be standing here”.
20- The Rock, Lana and Rusev segment on The Rock’s return to Raw (“she’s flexible as hell”).‘
21- Dean Ambrose drops Jericho on a pile of thumbtacks (and then they post a video of the thumbtacks being removed from Chris’ body).
22- Paige to Charlotte referring to Charlotte’s brother who tragically died of a heroin overdose at the age of 25: “Your little baby brother didn’t have much fight in him, did he?”
23- Nikki Bella to Brie Bella: “I wish you died in the womb”.
24- CM Punk bathes himself and The Undertaker in the supposed ashes of Paul Bearer.
25- Kevin Owens says that Tom Phillips’s iPad password is “6969” and that he was “disgusting”.
26- Enzo running into Ric Flair on the way to the hotel room (where he has the intention of sleeping with a married woman) and assuring him he “won’t be SAWFT".
27- The Miz to Renee Young: “My obsession with Dean Ambrose? You’re the one sleeping with him!”
28- Paige licking Natalya’s face in a very sexual way.
29- Big Cass threatens to break Enzo’s neck.
30- Vince McMahon says to Shane McMahon he will have one more chance to give him a fucking beating.
31- CM Punk refuses to shake Stephanie McMahon’s hand because “he knows where that hand has been”. 32- AJ Lee says in her Pipe Bombshell: “I didn’t get here… because I SUCKED up to the right people.
33- Ric Flair tells Natalya to kill herself
34- Brie Bella to Stephanie McMahon “You’re so pathetic, you’re such a bitch”.
35- AJ Lee says to Nikki and Brie: “Talent is not sexually transmitted”.
36- Maryse to John Cena: “You know what they say, the bigger the ego the smaller the package.”
37- Paige: “Then you got Lana and Summer too busy trying to figure out who they want to climb onto next rather than the Divas division”.
38- CM Punk to Christian: “Unlike you I don’t waste all these people’s time by bitching and moaning… and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching".
39- Paul Heyman: “Do you and your wife roleplay? Because I’m all about the roleplay”.
40- ANAL PROBES.
41- Bray Wyatt pours a bucket full of blood on Finn Bálor.
42- AJ Styles to Kevin Owens: “You know what I don’t like? A whiny ass lil’ bitch like you!”
43- Roman Reigns to John Cena: “On top of that he’s a part time fake ass bitch”.
44- “John: You come out here with your zipper open.
Roman: I busted it actually, Big Dog.
John: Oh sorry I was just looking for you balls but you don’t got none.
Roman: You would be looking for those.”
45- Roman calling Cena “bitch” multiple times during his promos.
46- Kevin Owens beating a poor old man… aka Vince McMahon.
47- Roman Reigns about Cena: “Sometimes he says stupid shit”.
48- Kevin Owens saying to Shane McMahon that his family would have been better if he hadn’t survived the helicopter accident.
49- Kevin Owens clearly saying “Come on, motherfucker” to Shane McMahon.
50-Kevin Owens to Shane: “I will take your face and grind it against the cage until your flesh comes off”. And, well, his entire promo.

LUCID DREAMING: HOW TO

SO LUCID DREAMING!!  

Some people asked because of my TONGUE IN CHEEK POST about it the other night, well!!! all it is, is being consciously aware that you’re dreaming. You can kinda train your brain to do it and it’s fukken awesome ok!  I learned from a bunch of books I got out from the library one summer back in high school and I have kept up all the habits since then until shit got weird but we don’t talk about that

sometimes you get to a point where you can control your dream and force yourself to dream about a certain thing . either way it’s really damn neat to just have conscious awareness while you’re asleep and if nothing else, it’s something fun to do that doesn’t cost anything.

I got into it a few years before Inception came out, if you can believe it. So when that movie came out talking about the same ideas my mind was  blown 

First things first:

1) DREAM RECALL:

This is your ability to actually remember your dreams. Because imagine, even if you end up having a lucid dream,  what’s the point if you completely forget it as soon as you’re awake? Some people think they don’t dream anymore but it isn’t true, everyone dreams. Some people just don’t remember.

So Write down  all your dreams, anything that you can remember as soon as you wake up.

I just text it to myself first thing in the morning and usually they’re super disjointed and barely readable but it’s just enough to have me remember them again. even if you can only remember little snippets, the more you do this the better you can get at remembering.

2) DREAM CUES

Dream cues are these little things that make you realize you’re asleep because they differ between reality and your dreams. They’re kind of like triggers that will make you realize you’re dreaming. The idea is to check in on these cues even when you’re awake, so that when it becomes a habit in real life, it will become a habit when you’re asleep.

It’s also a good way to check if you’re actually awake because sometimes dreams are super realistic. I’ve had a lot of dreams where I woke up in my bed, then did the reality check only to figure out I was dreaming.

Different people have different ones but there’s some common ones:

-mirrors: In real life you look like yourself. in a dream you’ll look like a really distorted version of yourself or like a completely different person. I don’t recommend this one because what you see in the mirror might freak you out into just waking up lol

-counting your fingers and seeing more or less than the amount of fingers you have

-electronics that don’t work

-text that changes when you read it, look away and then read it again

-dim lights [i hate light dimmers for this reason eugh]

-loose teeth

My personal ones are the and fingers and the changing text! So in real life, I count my fingers, and read some text, look away and read it again to see if it changes.

If I have more than 5 fingers, I realize I’m asleep and that’s where the lucid part starts.

Personally for me, all of these have served as dream cues, but these two are the ones that i literally check on. Another big one for me is if my teeth are loose, it’s an automatic cue for knowing I’m asleep.

INDUCING A LUCID DREAM

So you made a habit out of checking in on your dream cues and writing down your dreams. Now how do you actually do this thing….

There are some REALLY SPECIFIC METHODS To inducing a lucid dream . Some people practice one method that brings you from wakefulness directly into a dream, with NO LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I find this a little rarer but it’s definitely happened to me

Others have the method where you fall asleep as usual, end up in a dream, and then your consciousness wakes up while you’re in the dream. This is more common I think.

my sleep science might be off but this is it as I’ve understood it.

so the general method is to go to bed super early. like 9pm. And set your alarm for Stupid O Clock. I am talking some ungodly hour that you will never be up, like 4:30.

Reason being: You will literally never go to sleep and immedeitly start dreaming. You have to have been asleep for a few hours, having gotten a few sleep cycles in. The longer you sleep, the deeper your sleep cycles run and the more restful sleep you’ll have as the night goes on. It’s only in the later sleep cycles that you start to dream.

This is the reason you’re groggy in the morning [you were just in the middle of your deepest sleep cycle] but not groggy at all if you wake up at like 12

So the goal is to wake up right before you’re gonna go into a deep sleep cycle.

Stay awake for a few minutes, go to the bathroom or something, read some stuff on lucid dreaming on your phone… You want to wake up your brain so that your mind is conscious and running even though you’re dead tired.

Now you can go back to sleep, and the conditions are pretty much met for having a lucid dream.

SO GENERALLY NOW, it’s really likely that you’re gonna have a regular dream.

But if you’ve been making a habit out of doing your dream cues/reality checks while you’re awake, at some point you’re gonna do it while you’re asleep.

stuff from the waking world carries over into dreamtown. it’s the same reason you’ll have super realistic dreams about your job or people you know.

IT’S ACTUALLY SUPER COOL When you do your dream-cues and you see different results from real life. Like I’ll count my fingers and realize there’s 6 of them and be like Ohhh shit! I’m asleep! Time to go wild.

Usually I just fly around like a motherfucker but it’s so cool to be your exact same self who is able to think about your family/friends/homework/life/memes except you’re flying

CONTROLLING THE DREAM

OK SO NOW THAT YOU’RE AWAKE while dreaming, you can  try controlling your dream. This is a bit harder to explain but in my opinion it’s as easy as focusing/dwelling on what you want to do..kind of like repeating a mantra mentally.

Like lets say you’re dreaming and you come across a house. As you’re walking towards it, tell yourself “Captain Kirk is in this house and we’re gonna have the time of our damn life.” TELL YOURSELF WITH CONVICTION! BELIEVE IT! CAPTAIN KIRK IS IN THE HOUSE! OVER AND OVER!

also try practising controlling on little things first. Like point to the sky and say “brighter” or “more purple” or “bluer” or think “I want it to be night time instead" and it SHOULD change.

STAYING IN THE DREAM

There’s 2 tricks I know of that will keep you in a dream for longer when you feel like you’re about to wake up and you don’t want to.

One is spinning: If you feel yourself waking up, try spinning around on the spot till you’re dizzy. Things will blur around you and then they will clear up and get super sharp! Especially spinning while crouching. I have no idea why this works, but it does and others have said the same thing.

The other is, when you feel like things are getting blurry, focus on ONE spot in the dream. I usually crouch and like, stare at the details and texture of the road really really close up. For some reason, pinpointing your focus on one little thing will refocus the dream.

finally,

READ UP!!

Honestly the more you read about lucid dreaming, the more likely you are to have one for yourself..Even by reading this you’re more likely to have one. It’s weird, but it works. When I would regularly read books on the topic they’d say the same thing and it was true. It’s kind of like, the fact that you’re aware that it can happen makes it likely to happen..

SO YEAH, before you go to sleep or when you wake up at 4 in the morning, google it, see what others have to say. Get your brain in gear for it. there’s lots of posts online that will probably talk about the same stuff that I have here but this is my legit personal experience with it and stuff over the years.

IN SHORT

  • DO YOUR DREAM CUES/REALITY CHECKS
  • WRITE DOWN YOUR DREAMS
  • SET YOUR ALARM FOR A REALLY DUMB TIME!!
  • HAPPY DREAMING
about the netflix castlevania series...

I know, I’ve been busy.  I’ve been raving over this series for the past week but I couldn’t get to a proper keyboard so I can a Proper Rave™ complete with gifs and sparklies.  

Seriously, WHERE IS THE REST OF CASTLEVANIA, NETFLIX?  YOU CAN’T LEAVE US HANGING WITH JUST FOUR BLOODY EPISODES, OKAY??!!!!  I NEED THE NEXT SET OF EPISODES AND I NEED THEM NOW. 

Fine, fine.  I’ll be a proper grown up.  I’ll stop sulking and wait patiently. 

Let’s get on with the List of Things That I Really Love About Netflix’s Castlevania animated series:

a.  Dracula - First off, Dracula is not a precious misunderstood Woobie Destroyer of Worlds.  He’s evil.  He’s got a dangerous labyrinth of a castle sitting smack dab in the middle of a forest of skeletons that are impaled on very long sharp stakes, his victims from years ago.  Dracula is bored, mean and absolutely disgusted with humanity.  Apparently, the only reason he doesn’t seem to be concocting some sort of Evil Plan to Cover the World in Eternal Night™ in the first few minutes we see him is because he can’t be arsed to anymore.  

But he is a lot more complex than your average moustache-twirling baddie and in less than five minutes we get the idea that there’s still some ounce of humanity left in everyone’s favorite Evil King Vampire.  He basically gets this OH NO SHE’S ADORABLE AND I LIKE HER SEND HELP look on his face once he gets properly acquainted with one Dr. Lisa Fahrenheights.  

Originally posted by tampire

b.  Lisa Fahrenheights - People who’ve played Castlevania:  Symphony of the Night will know who she is and in the game, she’s pretty much portrayed as some sort of sanctified figure in a Certain Person’s memories.  In this series, Lisa Fahrenheights is smart, sassy and willing to tell off the most dangerous vampire in the world for his bad manners.  And while our acquaintance with her is painfully short, it gets pretty clear why Dracula would fall arse over cape for her.  

And surprisingly, she genuinely seems to love him back and is apparently willing to believe he can be better than his Evil self without forgetting that he IS a terrifying Evil Dark Lord With Fangs™.  We only get like 10 minutes to have her around and I’m actually willing to buy into the Dracula/Lisa love story far more than I did with Twilight or the Star Wars Anakin/Padme romance.  

She’s genuinely a good person without being insufferably saintly and I hope we get to see more of her in flashbacks as this series progresses because LISA FAHRENHEIGHTS DESERVED BETTER GDI.  

Seriously, in the Great List of Incredibly Stupid and Boneheaded Ideas™, accusing Dr. Lisa Fahrenheights Tepes (somehow, I get the feeling she and Vlad had a long and lively discussion about being his Princess/Lady/Countess and she stuck to her guns about being a Doctor) of witchcraft and then burning her alive at the stake is probably in the Top Three.  Right beside the one that says, “Do not kill the Cinnabon Roll Son of the Dark Lord of the Sith while Darth Papa is actually there to see everything.”  

Unfortunately, since this is the Middle Ages and we have all that bullshit about wise women being falsely accused and the Church being corrupt, so this clusterfuckery happens and of course, Vlad eventually comes home to find the house he built for his beloved destroyed and that he’s too late to save her.  He can’t even get the chance to possibly turn her into a vampire.  

Of course he’s pissed off. 

Originally posted by specta-a

Keep reading

NSFW: How Pentagon is in bed.

A/N: Hi! No one really asked for this but i did this thread on twitter the past week and i thought i could post it here and make it longer for the sake of all the Pentagon stans, right? kkkk

It contens M rated content so underaged people should avoid this. Also don’t read if you are uncomfortable with those topics. 


–Jinho ♡ 

•Mostly quiet lover 

•In the way that he is not really into dirty talk

•And he can easily hold back his moans

•But he is not shy at all 

•It’s rougher than you think 

•Gives the best oral

•He is used to be on top but can switch too

•His hands explore every inch of your skin

 –Yuto♡ 

•Voice deeper than the ocean while doing it 

•Sexy wispers in your ear 

•Loves when you go down on him 

• Srsly, he would love that

• And puts his hands in your hair when you do it to guide you

#dom 

•Has a slightly booty fixation so he grabs it a lot  

This motherfucker does it slow

• But at the same time hard

–E'dawn♡ 

•Casual sex like

•In a minute you are making out in your house

• And it gets steamy and sweaty.

•So you suddenly are f***king and really don’t know why. Not that any of you complain.

•He’s into “spicing up” sex.

•So once in a while he would come to you and say “what if we use a little extra”

• And like this you (or he, even, because he would be up to things like this) end tied on the bed.

• Loves bitting your lips

• And when you do it to him too

 –Yeo One♡ 

• When he looks lowkey horny it’s because he is highkey horny 

• So he starts being touchy until things happen

• Pulling his hands up your legs 

•All about the foreplay in wich he would be preetty good tho

•Moany as fuck 

He starts with the soft breath  but eventually it would become loud (not to the point of screaming either) so… yeah, get a private place to do it

• Because honestly he is the one to keep this kinf of things for himself and no one else except you

•Getting a warm shower after that leads to the 2nd round 

• But that one would turn pretty chill and lovely


–Kino♡ 

•He would be clingy in a daily basis so if he is clingy out off the bed then imagine on it 

•Easy to tell when he wants it 

•Because he really gets touchy, more than Yeo One

• In fact, he never tells you “let’s do it” with words but with actions like giving you a backhug and kissing your neck teasingly

•Masive switch. 

•He’s all over the place

•Energic lover 

• And also fuc***g eager

 –Yanan♡ 

•Vanilla sex all the way

•Loves to leave kisses all over you like those ones that give you goosebumps because they go slow i don’t know if you get me

•Always finish saying “i love you" 

•Generally it’s you who have to start things unless he is needy

•Scratches turn him on  

•Summarizing: he is a sub 

• So easy to tease 

–Shinwon♡ 

 •Into sexting

 •You have certain underwear that makes him lose it 

• And he sometimes makes you wear it on purpose like

• “jagi, can’t you wear that white one? It’s my favourite” 

•Really likes it when you moan

•Specially if it’s his name

•And it makes him horny as hell

•Another booty lover and worshiper

•Doesn’t fail, he always tells you that you look so good

–Hongseok♡

• Always top 

•Tells you straight away when he is needy 

• -why are you looking at me like that?”

 + let’s just fuck right now

•Lowkey has a roleplay kink 

•Sends the members out of the house when he knows you are going to do it so he can go full with it 

• Because believe me, it would be noisy

•Love marks 

–Hui♡ 

 •Starting in a slow and emotional way 

•With caresses in your back and smol kisses in your face

•And then getting excited in the way 

•You can taste the transition from when he is slowly touching you to when he just go impatient

 •A lot of kising, seriously, he barely leaves your lips 

 •A lot of licking too   

• The type to kiss your thighs

• Tends to let you ride him 

and he becomes a mess under you

–Wooseok♡ 

•Good with his hands

•Also likes moany partners 

•Because it turns him on a huge lot

•Often goes down on you. And yes, he is fucking good at it.

•Like Yuto, lightly enjoys blowjobs 

•Tease? Yes he is one

•He doesn’t make you beg for shit but he may be making you a bit frustrated before getting what you want

•But he treats your really good and nice. Always ask you what you want and if everything feels right.

• He is soft, at the end. 

My (non inclusive) Top Moments In Early American History

- George Washington naming his dogs shit like Sweet Lips

- Aaron Burr lighting himself on fire while trying to light a candle with a gun

- America ever winning in the revolution because we were a fucking mess

- Alexander Hamilton hiding behind Henry Knox at Yorktown when a shell burst near the tent

- Congress not finding John Adams a home in New York, forcing him to live with John Jay for like two months

- Lafayette not noticing he got shot in the leg

- John Adams taking the job of presiding over the senate seriously

- Abigail Motherfucking Adams

- Thomas Jefferson breaking his wrist trying to impress a girl

- The Hamilton family basically having three names that they rotated between kids

- Jefferson inviting Madison to come live with him at Monticello and Madison responding by basically saying he needed a year to think about it and never broaching the subject again

- Literally nobody knowing shit about Monroe

- Hamilton making a bet that he would buy dinner for a dozen delegates at the Constitutional Convention if Gouverneur Morris went up and clapped Washington on the back, which he did, and was subsequently given a glare that made him want to sink into the floor

- Washington actually cutting down two cherry trees

- Admiral de Grasse calling Washington “mon cher petit général”

- Aaron Burr trying to annex Texas and being tried for treason

- the Merry Affair

- Thomas Jefferson procrastinating in calling in Virginia militia, which forced him to flee Richmond when Benedict Arnold swept the capital

- “One hundred and eighty miles in three days and a half. It does admirable credit to the activity of a man at his time of life.” - Alexander Hamilton talking about Horatio Gates abandoning his army at Camden

- Baron Von Stueben showing up at Valley Forge with an Italian greyhound and his gaggle of little French boyfriends

- Baron Von Stueben cussing out the soldiers in French, leaving Hamilton and Laurens to translate

- Baron Von Steuben

- Jefferson being given a 1000 pound wheel of cheese, which no “federalist cows” were allowed to contribute to

- Jefferson having basically a burn book called “Anas”

Random clone pilot headcanons
  • Pilots are widely regarded as the most absolutely batshit of all the GAR, except maybe the heavy gunners
  • They stare death by fire or the vacuum of space in the face every battle and say “not today motherfucker”
    • They’re adrenaline junkies at best
  • The ground troops joke about “too much zero g” scrambling their brains but goddamn if they don’t respect every last one of the crazy motherfuckers, because there is no better sight than a bunch of fighters coming through the smoke when you’re pinned under heavy fire
  • It’s an unofficial GAR rule that pilots are never allowed to mingle with the heavy gunners, unless you really want something to be on fire or blown up
  • Someone always has a story about a buddy’s batchmate’s squadron leader who flew a mission buck-ass naked.  
    • All pilots have been explicitly banned from trying it
      • They try anyway
  • Pilots are shorter and slimmer than “standard” troopers, to control how much extra weight is in the fighters
    • That doesn’t mean they’re any less capable of fucking your shit up if you want to start a fight with them
  • Nobody talks about the ghost ships, don’t ask about them
  • Pilots are a very tight-knit group, and if general GAR gossip is rampant, the comm chatter from the pilots is wild
  • They work hard and play harder
    • If shenanigans are happening on leave, there’s an 85% chance there’s at least one pilot involved
      • They run in packs, and the amount of chaos caused is directly proportional to how many pilots are there at any given time
3

PAPER MAGAZINE : Beautiful People ~ Cardi B is Still Real


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Virgil Finds Solace in Logan & Logan Rips His Heart Out - A Post I’m Surprised I Haven’t Made Yet

SO GUYS. IN THE Q&A VIDEO VIRGIL SAYS THIS.

BC ANXIETY IS IRRATIONAL AND LOGIC IS RATIONAL. OF COURSE VIRGIL WOULD FIND COMFORT IN LOGAN. LOGAN GROUNDS HIM. LOGAN KEEPS HIM IN CHECK. LOGAN USES REASONING TO EXPLAIN WHY VIRGIL’S FEARS AREN’T LOGICAL AND THEREFORE CANNOT HURT HIM. LOGAN IS HIS SAFE SPACE.

BUT THEN. OH BUT THEN. YA’LL KNOW WHAT’S COMING. LITERALLY IN THE VIDEO AFTER THAT LOGAN, THIS MOTHERFUCKER (that i still love with all my heart i promise), FUCKING R I P S VIRGIL’S HEART OUT AND NO ONE EVEN CARES

DO YOU SEE THE REALIZATION & HEARTBREAK ON HIS FACE? DO YOU? BC I CERTAINLY DO AND I HAVEN’T BEEN OKAY SINCE I FIRST WATCHED THIS. THEY ACCEPTED HIM AND THINGS ARE BETTER BUT IM STILL NOT OVER IT.

LOGIC. ANXIETY’S LEFT BRAIN BUDDY, THE ONE HE FEELS COMFORTABLE AROUND, IMPLIED THAT HE’S ALWAYS READY FOR FAILURE BECAUSE THAT’S ALL HE KNOWS. LOGAN IMPLIED THAT HE’S A USELESS FUCK UP. THEY’RE BOTH LEFT BRAIN. IRRATIONAL AND RATIONAL. THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER MORE AND WORK TOGETHER. BUT NO. LOGAN BREAKS HIS FRAGILE HEART AND DOESN’T CARE.

Originally posted by thatherohair

reddie headcanon

warning: some sexual assault, alcohol, drugs
requested by: @whipashwhipash

-reddie decides to go to a party and while the party scene isn’t eddie’s cup of tea, he goes because richie loves going to parties

-when they arrive, eddie practically clings onto richie, holding his hand and keeping close to his boyfriend as they move through the crowds of people in the house

-“i won’t leave you, okay?” richie whispers into his ear, kissing his cheek

-eddie stays close as richie starts talking to people eddie isn’t familiar with

-richie introduces eddie to this friends and all eddie can do is smile and nervously looks around

-when they make it to the least crowded part of the party, like an hour later, richie asks eddie if he’s ready to go home

-eddie knows richie doesn’t want to leave so early, so he plasters a fake smile on his face and shakes his head

-“we can stay a little bit longer.”

-“are you sure? because it’s no big deal if you wanna leave.”

-eddie shakes his head again and kisses Richie

-they sit around in the kitchen a little while longer, talking a little and richie tries make eddie feel more comfortable and tries to make him laugh adn loosen up

-“can i have something to drink?” eddie asks

-richie nods and grabs a plastic cup off the stack on the counter

-“what do you want?” richie asks his boyfriend

-“something that will loosen me up,” eddie says, nervously fiddling with his fingers as he leans agianst the kitchen counter

-richie gives him a look, not sure what’s going on

-“you don’t drink, eds,” he says, laughing a little

-“yeah, maybe i should try it, though,” eddie shrugs, trying not to look as nervous as he feels

-“eddie, you don’t have to have something to drink because everyone else is,” richie says, his voice serious

-“please, rich,” eddie pleads, his eyes never leaving Richie’s

-richie doesn’t want to, but he hisitantly grabs some fruit punch out of the fridge and a bottle of some kind of alcohol (eddie has no idea what it is but richie does so he doesn’t panic as much)

-when richie is done with the concoction he’s made, he hands the cup to eddie

-richie makes himself a cup of the same thing and they clink their cups together before taking sips

-“hey, it’s not as bad as i thought,” eddie says, taking another sip
-richie laughs

-“that’s because i mixed the alcohol with fruit punch, eds.”

-richie decides to go back out to the party, grabbing Eddie’s hand

-when eddie lets go, richie turns back to look at him

-“you’re not coming?” he asks

-“nah, i’ll just stay here,” eddie says, shaking his head

-“oh, okay,” richie says, feeling uneasy about leaving eddie alone

-“you can go,” eddie says, giving him a smile

-“i don’t want to leave you alone, though,” richie sighs

-“i’ll be fine. i really just don’t want to go in there, where it’s crowded with all those people,” eddie says

-“are you sure you’ll be fine?” richie asks

-eddie nods and richie leans over to kiss him

-“if you need me, i’ll be in the living room, talking to that group of guys you saw me talking to earlier,” richie says before smiling at eddie and leaving

-eddie stays in the same spot for another ten minutes, sipping at his drink, bobbing his head to the music he’s never listened to before, and looking around at the stranger’s kitchen he’s standing in

-“you look like youre having a great time,” someone says over eddie’s shoulder, causing the boy to turn around

-eddie sees it’s one of the guys richie was talking to earlier and he smiles, not knowing what else to say

-“you don’t talk much, do you?” the guy asks

-eddie just kinda of shrugs

-“i’m not good with meeting new people,” eddie says quietly, sitting his drink down on the counter

-“i’m chris,” the guys introduces himself (again), holding his hand out for eddie to shake

-“i’m eddie,” eddie says, shaking chris’ hand

-“yeah, richie’s always talking about you,” chris laughs a little. “I understand why now.”

-that last statement makes eddie feels a little uneasy but the more he talks to chris, the more he feels himself getting loose

-“i’ll be back, i have to go to the bathroom,” eddie excuses himself, heading out of the kitchen and down the hall to where the thinks the bathroom is

-when he comes back, chris is still in the same spot, sipping at his own drink

-eddie grabs his drink from the counter and takes a sip, leaning agianst the counter like was before

-it takes another ten minutes for eddie to realize something isn’t right, and the more he drinks what’s in his cup, the worse he feels

-eddie feels sluggish and his vision is getting blurry and he can barely understand chris as he tells eddie they’re going upstairs

-eddie feels his body moving, but doesn’t know where he’s going and he doesn’t say a word as the music gets louder and the chatter of people fills his senses

-and then it’s quiet again because they’re upstairs in someone’s bedroom and eddie’s being thrown on the bed and then the weight of someone else’s body is over his and eddie doesn’t know what’s going on

-“just be quiet and this will all be over,” chris says into eddie’s ear as eddie starts to squirm and wiggle about on the bed

-eddie can feel chris’ lips all over his body and his hands and he doesn’t like this, but all he can do is mumble “no no no stop” as he tries to get out of chris’ grip

-chris has his hand covering eddie’s mouth and that’s when eddie tries to shout

-“richie!” he tries to call out with chris’ hand over his mouth. “richie, help!’

-and that’s when eddie blacks out

-but just a few minutes after eddie blacking out, richie is knocking hard on the locked door adn he’s screaming out for chris to open it

-"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, OPEN THE DOOR!”

-he continues to bang on the door for a few more moments, but then he stops

-and then the door is being kicked open and richie comes storming in, a group of people watching at the door as he shoves a stunned chris off of eddie

-richie looks over at eddie, his shirt not on his body anymore and his jeans unbuttoned and he can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if he hadn’t have gotten upstairs in time

-richie saw chris taking eddie upstairs, but his “friends” held him back from following him, as if they knew what chris was going to do and they were helping him

-richie holds back his tears as he stares down at eddie and then rage fills him as he walks over to chris and punches him square in the face

-richie gets on top of chris as he’s knocked down and continues to bash his face in

-“YOU DISGUSTING MOTHERFUCKER,” richie says under his breath. “DON’T YOU FUCKING COME NEAR ME OR MY BOYFRIEND EVER AGAIN.”

-richie is pulled off of chris by some random dudes, who richie shoves away, walking straight over to eddie and buttoning his pants back up and grabbing his shirt off the floor, putting it back on his body

-richie carries eddie downstairs and outside to his car, lying him down in the backseat

-richie grabs a blanket from the trunk of his car and puts it over eddie’s body before walking around to get in the driver’s seat

-when he’s sat down, richie breaks down behind the wheel and cries so hard

-he can’t help but feel it’s his fault and he hits his hea don the steering wheel several times, mad at himself

-he doesn’t want to go home, but he knows another place he go

-they get to bill’s house and when bill opens the door, seeing eddie unconscious in richie’s arms, he’s scared and confused

-“what happened?” bill asks, moving out of the way for richie and eddie to come through

-“I’ll tell you about it in a minute,” richie says, still crying a little. “where can i put him?”

-bill leads them up the stairs to his room and richie lies eddie down, throwing the covers over his body, kissing his forehead and moving the hair away from his face

-bill and richie go back downstairs and sit down on the couch in the living room

-richie explains to bill what happened and richie breaks down again

-bill pulls him in and wraps his arms around his friend and holds him while he cries

-“it wasn’t your fault,” bill says. “and it wasn’t eddie’s fault.”

-“i shouldn’t have brought him to that party,” richie says quietly

-“shhh…” bill says, still holding richie, “everything will be okay.”

-about an hour and a half passes and bill makes tea for richie and eddie and says they can stay if they want since his parents aren’t home for the weekend

-richie takes his and eddie’s cups of tea and heads upstairs to see if eddie is awake

-he is and he’s sitting up in the bed, staring down at his fingers

-“hey,” richie says, walking over to him and sitting their mugs down on the nightstand

-richie sits down on the bed with eddie and, pulling the covers up over them and wrapping his arms around eddie, pulling the boy closer into him

-that’s when eddie bursts out crying and he holds onto richie so tight, as if his life depends on it

-“i’m here,” richie says quietly. “it’s okay, i’m here, eddie spaghetti.”

-when eddie calms down, he tells richie all that he can remember and he tells him that he calling for him and he was so scared he didn’t know what to do

-“i’m sorry, eddie,” richie says

-“why are you sorry? you saved me, richie.”

-“i just wished i could go back and not bring you to that party,” richie says. “it was my fault. i’m sorry i let you down.”

-eddie makes richie look at him

-“richie tozier, this wasn’t your fault,” eddie says softly. “you saved me. i’m so thankful for you and i love you so much.”

-he kisses richie’s lips softly and richie pulls him back into his body, holding him close and not letting him go


this was probably shit and it’s really long but i almost cried writing it ok

also tagging: @trashmoutheds@stanleyurisisalive @spicyymoon–lovve @king-wheezy-trash @trxshmouth-t0zier @t-rash-m-outh @rainy-kaspbrak @eddie-kaspjack ily guys sm <3

The headstrong monk becomes Santa

GM: there’s a dwarf currently barricaded in his house, and he refuses to come out. he thinks you’re undead.

Me, Cleric (OOC): i attempt to use diplomacy for him to let us into his house, or to come with us back to the fortified docks. (rolls 12)

GM: the dwarf tells you to beat it, he won’t fall for those tricks

Monk (OOC):  I would like to scale up his house to his roof to look for his chimney.

GM: You find a very large chimney, easy for you to go down

Monk: *climbs into chimney* HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKER

I would say it’s time to play Let’s Find The Motherfucker Who Caused This Mess, but I know who you are, I know what you did, and I’m standing outside your house. Are you going to come out like a sensible demonic force of evil, or am I going to have to take your mountain range off its hinges?

- Manwë, to Melkor, the Silmarillion, Of the Voyage of Eärendil and the War of Wrath