HOW MUCH LONGER? pt 3 - Jason McCann
Part 4 will be up soon, along with another imagine!
For what felt like the hundredth time tonight, my position in my bed shifted from my right side to my back as an agitated sigh escaped my lips. I hadn’t had a restless night in years, and tonight just seemed to have broken the streak, only difference was, this time, I had a reason for the disturbance of my sleep.
It’s been a week since Jason moved into my gang house and ever since he arrived, he seems to be the only thing on my mind. Clouding up my space to think logically and making it harder for me to keep my gang safe. Its dangerous honestly. If we got attacked, I wouldn’t be on my feet, not as alert as I usually am.
But tonight just crossed the line. Tonight, my mind was running marathons because of my thoughts and it was all his fault. Not just because I knew he was here, but I could also hear it, and not in a very pleasant way. The moaning coming from the room across the hall was beginning to make me so aggravated that I was honestly ready to stomp inside waving a gun around just to make them shut up so I can use whatever time left of the night to get some sleep.
Okay, and maybe I was a little jealous, but lets not get into that.
Just knowing that Jason - my ex boyfriend and the man I am still in love with - was in the room across from me, fucking his current girlfriend senseless was killing me. Especially when I realised that, that could of been me, if I had just stayed when he needed me instead of walking out, that would be me in there with him. Pleasing me, making me feel loved, and like I was the most perfect girl ever to be created.
Because thats what Jason McCann can do, he can not only be powerful himself, but he can make you feel powerful. And I guess thats what made us so compatible, we both loved the powerful feeling each other gave off.
But no matter how much I wish and dream - the reality is that I did walk out that night, and although I’m not one to believe heavily in God, I can’t help but feel this was my punishment for walking out that night. Having to sit here - in the comfort of my own house, listening to the love of my life pleasure another woman. A slut to be exact. A slut that he was in a relationship with.
I couldn’t bring myself to believe that he was in love with her, there was no way. His eyes didn’t have that glint, that glint he used to have when he looked at me. That glint that no longer exists. Instead, he looks at her more as if she was a peice of meat rather then a girlfriend, and is it bad to say that relieves me? But it might just be in my head. Maybe he does really love her and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to face the fact that he’s moved on and I haven’t.
But that’s the thing. Life is a big fat ‘MAYBE.’ There is no yes, or no in life. There is no guarantee. Everything is just Maybe. Maybe this was how its supposed to end, with no one receiving what they wanted, everyone just feeling shit and unhappy in the end, or maybe things will turn for the batter and a miracle might happen.
but the chance of a miracle is near impossible, so I should probably begin readying myself for a depressing ending now.
Without even realising it, I had slowly began drifting off to sleep. And without hesitation, I allowed the blessing of sleep to finally take me in its arms until tomorrow, leaving the daunting thoughts for another day.
Bitter, the perfect way to describe my mood. And what better way to express that with a cup of straight, black coffee. Placing the kettle of caffeine back onto the machine after pouring a full cup, it was a slight surprise to hear a door opening and shutting upstairs.
Who the hell is up at this hour? Only a gang leader would wake up before Dawn. And then it hit me, how could I forget? Jason is living here now.
Soft footsteps ceased to make there way downstairs, all before his perfect body slipped past the kitchen doorway, revealing his inked chest, shirtless. His eyes darted up in surprise at seeing me standing there, before his guard fell and he shook his head.
“I always forget your up at this time as well.”
I shook my head, running a hand through my slight bed hair. “Same here.”
Without thinking, I stepped back and picked up the kettle, turning around to pour it into a coffee cup Jason held out for me. It was a habit, something we did when we were together. He would get a cup while I poured him coffee, it was so random but something we just always did.
“Got any meetings today?” Jason mumbled, sipping on the same black coffee I drank. In fact, he was the one who got me hooked on the bitter drink.
Although we both act like mean, careless criminals, we always felt like we could just drop the act around each other, no matter what happened in our pasts.
“Just one. An old Ally wants some land, gotta put the fucker in his place.”
He smirked, side glancing me from the cup he was sipping on before slowly removing the mug from his lips, swallowing the beverage with a loud gulp.
“You hungry?” I suddenly asked.
His eyes flickered from the floor to my face, his expression blank and hard to read.
“I’ll make pancakes if you want?” I added.
Slowly, his eyes squinted to slits as he eyes me. “Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’? Because I feel like pancakes and I thought I’d be nice and offer you some as well.” As I spoke, I began walking around the kitchen, picking out ingredients for the pancakes.
“Is there a problem with that?”
“I mean, no its just-….” He trailed off, eyes wandering around the room.
“Just what? We’re not together anymore?” I scoffed. When he didn’t reply, I knew that was the answer. “Don’t be so up yourself Jason, I offered you pancakes not asked for your hand in marriage. I’ve moved on from you. Just because where Ex’s doesn’t mean I can’t be nice. I mean, where living with each other for god sakes, might as well make the most of it.”
It wasn’t an entire lie. I did want to make the most of it. I just….haven’t exactly moved on.
From the look in Jason’s eyes you could tell he was putting some effortless thought into what I had just said until his face fell flat once again, then slowly slid into a smirk. “In that case, I like Syrup on my pancakes.”
“Ah! Mr Brown, nice of you to finally join me!” I shouted in fake enthusiasm, glancing at the rolex watch on my wrist. “And your only an hour and a half late this time! This must be your new record.”
Brown smirked, placing himself in the leather chair opposing my desk, his men stepping behind him. “I tried to make it on time this time.”
“No you didn’t.” I smiled, but there was no humour in my tone. “Everyone know’s your attempt of being fashionably late never works Axel. Stop trying.”
His smirk dropped, face turning red after being caught. “Now lets get to business. you want land? Well the only land you’ll be receiving from me is my foot, when it lands on your ass.”
“Mrs L/N, If I must remind you, you still owe me for the first drug deal you made. Remember that? When you were nearly shot. Who saved your life then?” He smirked.
But I had the upper hand, I always did. They don’t call me most wanted for nothing! “Your right, I do owe you. Actually, I did owe you, not anymore.”
“My first drug deal was nearly 6 years ago, and If I recall, I repayed you many, many times.” i smiled. “Let’s start with when I saved you from Larson, and killed Harold for you. When you hired me to kill Michael, or what about the time I loaned you 50 grand for drug money? And lets not forget the time I -”
“Okay I get it!” Brown yelled, sighing agitatedly.
“Good, so now that we’re both on the same page, I think it’s time you repaid your debt to me.”
He visibly gulped. “And what would that be?”
“Well, I’m in need of a little upgrading. Not only do I have my whole gang in here but now an Alliance’s gang and I need some space.”
“So what’s it you want? You wanna send some gang members over to mine?”
“Oh jesus no!” I laughed. “’I would never torture my gang members like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a good torturing but only to the people who deserve it. What I want is your gang house.”
“You heard me. And If you didn’t get the hint, I just warned you - actually more threatened you. Get the fuck out of this state. You - and your gang.”
I was quick to interrupt “Get out of north America, and If I see your face here again, its not gonna be pretty. Do you hear me?!”
I was standing at this point, steam almost pouring out of my ears as I raged in fury.
“You don’t think I know you’ve been stealing from my warehouses?! Nothing goes unnoticed by me.” I gritted. “Now I’m giving you a chance to run because really, I should just shoot you, right here right now. Now either leave my office, and don’t come back, or make sure you double up on men and always look behind you, cause soon, your gonna have a bullet implanted right in that thick head of yours.”
Brown’s face was shocked, nervous and twisted in fear. Without another word, he nodded his head frantically trying to make hsi way out of the room. “Nice doing buisness with you!” i yelled as he made quick to scramble out of the room.
Just as Brown left, Jason strolled slowly over to the door frame, leaning against the wooden post. “So…how was your deal?”
“Great. Now that that part is over with, I’ll just get a few of my men to sneak back to his warehouse and eliminate him by tomorrow morning.”
“I thought you were letting him go.” He chuckled.
“Nah, I just said that so he won’t suspect it. Hes less likely to put up a fight if he doesn’t see it coming.”
“Those words sound oddly familiar.” Jason sarcastically smirked.
“They should, you taught me them.” I stated.
“I know.” And like that, he turned on his heels to begin walking down the hall.
“What?” He spat.
“Tonight, how about keeping it down. Your side hoe moans like a cow, its quite disturbing.”
Jason turned, a smirk on his face. “Why? You jealous your not getting any?”
“Hah! You wish. It’s just some people don’t enjoy falling asleep to the sound of a dying goat.”
“You know, you gotta lotta hate towards my girlfriend. You sure that’s not personal?” He smirked.
“Please McCann don’t flatter yourself.” I scoffed. “Just keep the fucking noise down tonight. Or rather, just leave it all together. Don’t you have any self respect?”
“I do.” He smirked. “But my hand got kinda boring.” The smirk only grew as my face fell in discuss. A wink was sent my way before he quickly descended down the hall, leaving me weak at my knees from the wink that was only meant to piss me off.