i should have left you the moment i saw you smile.

or, that’s what i tell myself. i tell myself that your smile wasn’t the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, but the opposite. it was the thing that ruined my life. the thing that took my happiness, pulled it from its core, and never gave it back. the thing that destroyed my heart in every way.

am i being too dramatic? sorry.

in all honesty, i did this to myself. i let you in, showed you where my happiness hid, told you what scared me, allowed your lips to wander my skin and show me love that you never really felt for me. maybe you were in love with the idea of me; the idea of loving someone so imperfect. maybe you love trying to fix people, but i was too far gone, wasn’t i? so you decided it wasn’t worth it - scratch that, i wasn’t worth it.

you were so unexpected, but i thought you were so right. i thought we were supposed to have that one love story where you come into the sad part of my life just to show me what real happiness was like. to show me what it felt like to really smile about something, to show me how it felt to brush my lips against someone else’s. to feel my heart speed up at the sound of someone else’s laugh.

i hope i put on a good enough show for you.

but the thing is, it wasn’t a show for me. i refrained from allowing myself to love you because life had been cruel to me before, and i wondered, how was life going to dig its talons into my skin this time? except after a few months, i gave myself to you. i gently slid my heart into your hands, begged you to keep it safe, and trusted you with my last breath. you looked at me with your ocean eyes, a smile on your face, and you promised.

that’s the most fucked up thing. you promised you would keep it safely tucked away, next to your own heart. somehow, you managed to keep yours safe while simultaneously shattering mine. what you gave back to me at the end of the day was something that resembled a puzzle piece. it was missing its parts to become whole, and you told me you lost them. and you were sorry.

you weren’t really sorry, were you? instead, you kept my pieces hidden with you, somewhere i was never really allowed. and now you have me completely blocked out, except you’re still carrying those pieces of me with you, everywhere you go.

what i’m trying to say, is that i’m not sorry we ended, i’m sorry that you had to destroy me in the process. and i wish i could take myself back from you.

—  8:44 pm thoughts / a letter to my ex
Without You

***Disclaimer*** There is a small part in Tris’ POV, but most of it is copied and pasted from the book, I added few of my own lines in there, so no copyright infringment was intended!

Warnings: Death, and kind of angsty, sorry!

Last day of initiation, the day I find out my ranking, my fate in Dauntless. But first, I’ll have to go through my fear landscape; I wait outside with my fellow initiates, watching them go in to the room one by one.

“Y/N!” I finally hear, I get a few good lucks before walking into the room, my boyfriend Eric come up to me with the syringe. We started dating one month after initiation started, and have been dating for 4 months now. And yes, I am in love with him, but I haven’t been able to build up the courage to tell him, what if he doesn’t feel the same?

I snap out of my thoughts as Eric begins to speak, “I’m going to inject you with this serum Y/N, and you’re gonna go through all of your fears, the leaders will see what you see, and everyone else will only see your reactions,” his face wears the same hard expression as it does when he’s near any of the other initiates, but I know it’s just a mask, he proves this further when he places his hand in my shoulder and whispers, “Be brave Y/N.”

He then injects me, one by one I go through all of my fears, I only have eight, the second lowest number within my group of initiates, Tris had the lowest, 7.

I get out of my landscape in 17 minutes and Eric meets me at the back door of the landscape room, “That was amazing Y/N! You really do belong here,” He gives a small smile, but hardens his expression almost immediately.

“Thanks Eric!” I smile back, resisting every urge to kiss him.

“I can’t believe that losing me is one of your fears,” he says, refer to the fear where I was forced to kill my loved ones.
“Well, maybe because I l-” I stop myself before I say it. Shit.

“You what…?” He asks quickly.

“Because I-I would never want to kill a person who has never wronged me,” I say confidently, trying to cover my mistake. Eric didn’t believe me but just as he was about to say something Max called him back.

“I’ll see you in the cafeteria for the rankings,” he quickly says as he leaves.

I meet my three best friends Christina, Will, and Tris in the dorm rooms; we still have two hours before we find out what our rankings are.

“Can you believe this will be our last night in this room,” Christina says.

“Thank God for that,” I laugh. I could not wait to get out of this disgusting dorm room, and get my own apartment.

“Are you guys scared for ranks?” Will asks.

“A little, I just hope I don’t have to work on the fence,” I say, “I wouldn’t want to stay away from the compound for weeks on end.”

“Same,” Christina groans.

We sitting in the dorm room, watching as the rest of transfers make their way back from their own landscapes, until Four finally comes in to tell us that it was time for our results.

We walked into the cafeteria with the Dauntless-born initiates; some of us wore excited looks on our faces, whereas others looked nervous as hell.  

Max gives a speech and then the ranks are posted. Where is it? Where is my name? I’m cut! Shit I’ve been cut! I scan the bottom of the board and I don’t see it, so I slowly work my way up, then I see it:

1. Tris

2. Uriah

3. Y/N

What?! I got third place! Third place! I can’t help myself from jumping and squealing a little as the Dauntless crowd bursts into claps and cheers.

I look around to congratulate my friends, but all I find is Christina kissing Will and Tris kissing Four. No matter how happy I may feel for them, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy; why can’t my relationship with Eric be so loving and open like them?

I see Eric making his way toward the doors of the cafeteria and he gestures for me to follow. I quickly make my way after him.

“I got third place! I can’t believe it!” I gush as soon as we’re out of earshot.

“Congratulations Y/N,” Eric says smiling. I’m the only one who ever gets to see Eric like this, so whenever he smiles it only makes me happier. I lean up and kiss him.

This is the moment that I realize that I have to tell him, I can no longer keep this secret from him. I love him way too much; I can’t keep it in any longer. I’m Divergent.

“Eric, I have to tell you something,” Maybe this isn’t the right place.

“I have to tell you something too,” He says, “But you go first.”

“No, I can’t here. Can we meet on the roof early in the morning, before most people wake up?” He hesitates, as if he is about to say something, but the he just nods, “What did you want to tell me?”

“I just wanted to say that, Y/N, I-I lo-” He pauses.

“You what?” I look up at him, my heart racing. Just say it, please.

“That I-” He suddenly looks like he has changed his mind about something and he quickly says, “I am so proud of you Y/N.”

“Oh,” I look away from him, I feel so stupid, he wasn’t about to confess anything. Stupid girl.

“I should get back,” Eric says, “You should go have dinner now. I’ll see you soon.”

“Uh, yeah, bye,” I say. Eric turns to leave, but he suddenly turns back around and gives me a quickly peck on the lips and looks me deeply in the eyes, almost as if he is apologizing for something, then he walks away, leaving me a little sad and very confused.

Dinner had just ended and we had been informed that all of Dauntless would be getting some sort of needle. Eric walks up to me with a syringe in his hand, “What is it for? Why do we need to get these?”

“It’s a precautionary tracking device that is being injected into all the members of our faction,” Eric explains, I simply nod my head and turn it, exposing my neck to Eric for easy access. He brushes a few strands of hair off, and injects the needle, shooting me another apologetic look. What’s his deal?

“Alright Y/N, you should probably head to the dorms, you’re in for a long day tomorrow,” He says.

“I’ll see you on the roof I guess,” I sigh.

He hesitates once again before saying, “Y-yeah, I’ll meet you there.”

I feel someone shake my shoulders, “Wake up Y/N!”

“Tris?” I whisper, I see my fellow initiates all getting ready, they look almost like drones, “What’s going on?”

“It’s a simulation,” she sound worried.

“We just have to act like we’re under it as well. Do whatever they do I guess,” I say. Tris nods in agreement, and we head out with everyone else, following their lead.

We all stand in rows, Tris is next to me and Will is in front, when I hear someone questioning the leaders about what was going on. I see him out of the corner of my eye, a confused looking Dauntless member, and more importantly a Divergent. Max smiles at him, a sickly smile, then shoots him right in the head. I keep myself from jumping at the sound of the gun, telling myself that I’m supposed to be under a simulation.

Then I see Eric making his way towards me, away from the sight of the rest of the leaders, my heart speeds up and I focus my eyes straight ahead. He steps directly in fronts of me, filling the gap between me and Will. He looks me in the eyes, and I try to keep my expression neutral. He finally reaches down and grabs my hands in his, “This is literally the worst time to be saying this, I know you can hear me, and once you’re out of this sim I know you’ll recall this, I’m so fucking sorry this had to happen Y/N. But I don’t know what the result of this is going to be, I had to tell you now in case I never get the chance after this. I love you.”

He said it. He finally fucking said it! I desperately will myself to not respond and keep my dead expression. He literally told me at the worst time, I can’t even tell him that I love him back, if I do I’ll be fucking killed. Oh fuck you Eric!

He takes a deep breath and turns to walk away. I almost, almost, follow him, but Tris quickly grabs my hand, and I see her shake her head from the corner of my eye, so I stop myself.

We all get on the train and make our way to Abnegation.

I roam one of the alleys of the Abnegation faction, there is barely anyone here, but I still act as if I’m under the sim, just in case. I was separated from Tris on the train, and the group of soldiers I was with eventually dispersed. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear the cry of a small child and his mother around the corner. I quickly peek my head around, and aside from the Abnegation mother and son, the only person there is a Dauntless man, who is holding a gun to the mother’s head. Eric. He has his back turned to me, I can’t let him kill them, I quietly creep up from behind him, and put my own gun to his head, “Don’t you dare shoot them.”

He pauses for a moment, and then puts his gun down, hands raised beside his head. He slowly turns around and his eyes widen when he sees me, “Y/N? You’re-”

“Yes. I’m Divergent, Eric,” I spit out his name, “I can’t believe you would do something like this!”

He almost looks hurt as he whispers, “You have to listen to me Y/N, I didn’t want to do this, I truly didn’t, but I had to, you have to believe me.”

I did. I did believe him. I look into his eyes and whisper, “Okay.”

He looks at me with a hateful expression and spits, “The cameras can’t detect sound, so I just have to make it look like I’m angry. Put the gun to the back of my head and lead me to where I tell you. There are a few alleyways where Erudite was unable to install cameras.”

I lead Eric down a few turns, making sure there are no Dauntless soldiers there, and we eventually make it to a small alley where there are no cameras. Eric turns around to face me and I lower my gun, “Okay now what?”

He takes both my hands into his own, “So you’re Divergent? How could you not tell me Y/N?”

“I was going to Eric! I swear, that’s why I asked to meet you on the roof,” I say defensively, “But you’re no one to lay accusations on me, how could you do this. So many innocents are being killed because of these plans.”

“I have my reasons Y/N, I can’t tell you right now, the time isn’t right, but you have to trust me,” I nod, “so since you were never under the sim, I guess you heard everything I said back in the compound?”

“I did,” I smile and punch him in the shoulder, “you have the worst fucking timing Eric! Do you know how hard I had to try to keep up my act up?! Fuck you!”

He chuckles and pull me into his arms, “I love you.”

“I love you too Eric!” I lean up and kiss him, and for a while, I forget where we are, for a moment it is just the two of us in the whole world, holding each other, madly in love.

Eric finally pulls away, “Y/N, I have to go now. Listen, there is a hideout that some of the Abnegation have, go there and they will help you, I’m sure Tris will be there.” Eric tells me where to go and the secret knock that he overheard a few Abnegation talking about. He then bends down to the body of an Abnegation man, who is lying dead on the ground, and puts some of the man’s blood on his clothes and arm, I cringe knowing that he is trying to make it look like he killed me,  “I really have to go now baby.”

He turns to walk away, and my eyes suddenly fill with tears, “Eric?” He turns back to face me, “Will I see you again?”

He inhales deeply, and then gives me a peck on the lips, “This will all be over soon Y/N.”

“That’s not what I asked Eric,” I whisper, trying to keep the tears from spilling.

“I need to go Y/N,” I breathe in sharply as he turns around and walks away.

“Eric?” I say just before he turns around the corner, he stops, keeping his back turned to me, “Be careful.”

He finally looks back and gives me a weary smile, “I will Y/N, you take care of yourself too babe.”

I see Eric disappear around the corner, and I let a single tear slip down my cheek.

I sit in the hidden room with a group of Abnegation, Tris, and Tris’ brother; I think his name is Caleb. We plan to go to Dauntless and stop the simulation.

Everything that happened after that was kind of a blur, leaving the safe room, getting on the train, going into Dauntless HQ. I was too busy worrying about Eric to care about what was happening around me, especially after Tris told me that she had shot him in the leg.

Now Caleb, Marcus, Peter, and I stand outside the control room, waiting Tris to come out with Four. I get fed up and finally go in myself, to help Tris. I see that she just shut down the simulation, one by one, the screens start to shut down, and we hear Dauntless guards coming. Tris and Four hurry me out of the room, just as I’m about to leave I see someone raise a gun at Eric on one of the screen, but the screen shuts off before I can see what happens.

“Come on Y/N!” Four yells at me, as Tris grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room.

We all get on the train and head to Amity, we are officially fugitives. I’m worried out of my mind about Eric, and I can’t stand seeing Four and Tris act all romantic, when my love life is such a mess, so I go sit alone in a corner of the train. I clutch the necklace that Eric gave me when I passed the first stage on initiation ranked in second place. Please let him be okay.

We’ve been in Amity for two days, and I haven’t heard anything from Eric. Johanna allowed us to stay here as long as we blended in with their members. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and get out my cot, heading out of the room I share with Peter and Caleb.

“What’s going on Johanna? What did you hear?” I hear Four say from around the corner.

“One of Dauntless’ leaders was killed.” She says. What?!

“Who?!” Both Four and Johanna turn to me.

Johanna looks at me with a calm, yet disappointed expression, “Y/N, sweetheart, you know it’s wrong to eavesdro-”

“Who. Is. It. Johanna.?” I say slowly, spitting out every word, stepping dangerously close to her.

She steps back, and Four grips my arm, “Just tell her Johanna.”

“Eric. It is Eric,” She says, not knowing my relationship to him.

I feel my heart breaking. My body feels like it’s being torn apart. I want to scream but at the same time, I just want to fall and not do anything at all. I find myself running. As fast as my legs can carry me, I don’t know how long I run, I don’t know where I go, but when I’m finally too exhausted to take another step I fall to my knees, I see that I’m surrounded by trees. I sit there for hours, just staring up at the sky; I watch its bright blue colour get darker and darker until its almost pitch black, I feel nothing at all, my mind and body are completely numb.

I finally pick myself up and make my way back to Amity’s fields.

“Where the hell did you go?!” Tris yells at me, gripping my arms, I don’t respond, “Y/N? Hello?!”

“Tris, leave her alone,” Four says, putting a hand on her shoulder, “Peter, can you take Y/N back to her room.”

Peter puts his arm around me and walks me back to our room as if I’m a small child. I lay on my cot, staring up at the ceiling until I eventually fall asleep.

The next few days are a blur, I spend most of my time sitting in my cot holding on to my necklace, sometimes I move to the floor, I barely remember eating or communicating with anyone. I haven’t thought of anything that happened, I haven’t let a single tear slip, and I’m afraid that anytime now, I will explode. Tris comes in and sits in front of me to give me one of her usual lectures.

“Y/N, you’ve been up here for days, you have to come down. Get it together Y/N, I know he’s gone, but you can’t let that destroy you,” She realizes that her words are having no effect on me and sighs, “Alright fine Y/N. But Amity is hosting one of their bonfires tonight, at least join us for that. If not for yourself then for us, and I know you know that Eric would have never wanted to see you like this.”

I know she’s right, I have to do this. Eric would hate me if he saw how weak I was right now. I will go to that bonfire tonight, and wherever Eric is, I know he’ll be glad that I’m trying to stay strong. I love you Eric. I miss you.

Eric’s POV

“What the fuck?!” I yell, clutching Max’s collar, “What the fuck do you mean she’s dead?!”

“Please Eric,” he chokes out, “Relax, just listen to me.”  

“Relax?!” I practically scream, “How the fuck do you expect me to relax?!”

I let go of Max and he falls back on to his chair, I take a deep breath, trying to get a control over myself, “How did this happen? I want to know everything Max.”

“We found her body in the Chasm two days ago. You were patrolling the city, so we cremated her body. Her face was practically unidentifiable, we wouldn’t have known it was her if it weren’t for this,” Max reaches into his pocket, and hand me a small object. Y/N’s ring, she’d had it for years, I turn it over in my hand and see her name engraved at the back of it. Fuck no, this can’t be fucking happening!

My hand shakes and I whisper, “Do you know who did this?”

“Jeanine saw her being shot,” My eyes widen at this, Jeanine knew and didn’t tell me, “the face of the killer was covered, however, Jeanine had been able to detect the divergence level of the person. They are exactly who we’re looking for, the 100% Divergent.”

I’ll kill them, whoever the fuck it was, I will kill them!

I storm out of Max’s office and back to my apartment. I slam my door shut and smash the first vase I see, I then proceed to destroy any object I come into contact with. Once my apartment is completely trashed, I fall to my knees and sob, I haven’t cried in years, but I can’t do anything now, I can’t stop it. I sob until I feel numb. I eventually drift to sleep on the floor next to the couch.


I sit around a fire with Tris, Four, Peter, Caleb, and a group of Amity. They’ve been singing this entire time, and somehow, miraculously, I was able to push my troubles aside for a while, feeling slightly happy.

“Can any of you sing?” An Amity girl asks, gesturing towards us.

“Y/N can!” Peter says suddenly, damn his Candor ways.

“Sing for us Y/N!” Another Amity boy says, a few others agree with him. I quickly shake my head, not wanting to take part in any of this.

“Oh come on Y/N, sing for us,” Tris urges me, “Maybe it’ll help you feel better. Please?”

I decide that maybe it would help, so I do:  

My voice breaks at the end. I can’t do this. I get up and run into the forest, falling down next to a tree. I finally let the tears come, I sob, I sob harder than I’ve ever sobbed before, I sob for what feels like hours. Peter finally comes to look for me, Four soon follows him. They both just sit on either side of me, not saying anything. I became good friends with Peter towards the end of the first stage of initiation, and Four transferred along with my brother, so he has always treated me like a younger sister. It feels good to have them next to me. I finally get up and Peter puts his arm around me, leading me back to Amity, while Four follows closely behind us. I feel a slight sense of relief, I finally allowed myself to breakdown, I finally let out all the emotion I was holding back.

I sit in the room next to the window, while Peter and Caleb sit on their individual cots. I stare at the moon, and hope that Eric is watching me from wherever he is, I miss you Eric. I love you; I wish I could have told you that, before you left. I only ever got to tell you once, but I want you to know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before.

Eric’s POV

I wake up before dawn; I go out onto my balcony, remembering the countless times that I spent up here with Y/N. I stare up at the moon, and I hope that Y/N is watching me from wherever she is. I miss you Y/N. I love you; I wish I could have told you that, before you left. I only ever got to tell you twice, but I want you to know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before.


It’s the middle of the day and I sit with Tris, Four, Peter, and Caleb in Johanna’s office. I hear Four mutter a curse, and we all look up at him.

“Dauntless,” He says back with wide eyes, “They’re here! Hunting for us!”

Johanna rushes up and tells us to stay hidden in her office, so we all huddle up in the back corner. A few minutes later, Four walks up to look out the window again. He turns back around and his face has gone pale, almost as if he saw a ghost. I exchange a look with Tris and walk up to Four to see what he saw, I look out the window, and I don’t believe his eyes. Eric.

My face breaks into a wide smile and tears slip down my cheeks, “He’s alive,” I whisper, “Four he’s alive!”

“And now he’s hunting us,” Four hisses, dragging me back to the corner.

“H-he wouldn’t kill us!”

“You don’t know what he’s capable of Y/N!” Four scolds me as if I’m a little child, “You will stay hidden from him Y/N. If he catches us, he may try to protect you but Tris and I will sure as hell be killed. And I’m sure you don’t want us to die because of your little love affair, do you?”

I can’t believe Four is blackmailing me like this; I look down and shake my head. I guess I can’t let Eric see me.

We hear Eric making his way into Johanna’s office, Four looks around the corner and down at him. Suddenly Four jerks his head back, “Shit! I’m pretty sure Eric just made eye contact with me! We’re done!”

To all of our surprise we see Eric turn around and walk back. Four takes this moment to usher us towards the window. We are just about to leave when Peter suddenly shouts, “They’re up here! Hey! Eric, they’re up here!”

What is he doing?!

Four quickly pushes us out the window, and soon enough, we are running through the woods and catching a train to who knows where. Eric didn’t see me, I didn’t let him, and now I fucking hate myself. I’m sorry Eric, I’m sorry.

The following day is spent with the factionless, and then we travel down to Candor to meet the rest of the loyal Dauntless members.

I’ve been in Candor for days now, and I’m currently sitting in my bunk ready to sleep. We hear a commotion going on somewhere in the compound, and Christina and I look at one another and decide to go find out what’s happening.

Tris’ POV

“How could you do that to her? She was your friend, she trusted you,” Eric hissed. What the hell was he talking about?

I close my hand around the knife handle and squeeze. Eric leans closer.

Dauntless attacked Candor, and Eric discovered my Divergence. He is now leading me out of the faction to turn me in to Jeanine.

“Just between you and me … I think you might have gotten three, because you’re the kind of bullheaded person who would refuse to make a simple choice just because she was told to,” he says. “Care to enlighten me?”

I lurch forward, pulling my hand out of my pocket. I close my eyes as I thrust the blade up and toward him. I don’t want to see his blood.

I feel the knife go in and then pull it out again. My entire body throbs to the rhythm of my heart. The back of my neck is sticky with sweat. I open my eyes as Eric slumps to the ground, and then—chaos.  


I run down the stairs to see what’s happening, as I walk into the room I see Tris huddled in Four’s arms holding a knife, explaining something to him, she gestures to the other side of the room and that is when I see him. Eric is slumped on the ground, he is covered in blood and by the looks of it, he has been stabbed. Fuck no! He is slipping out of consciousness, I run up to him and fall on to me knees, putting my hands on his cheeks.

“Eric! Fuck Eric keep your eyes open! Eric! Don’t you fucking die on me! Please?” I beg him, with tears streaming down my face. He doesn’t know I’m here. That’s when Candor’s leader Jack Kang walks up to me, explaining how Eric is one of Candor’s prisoners now, meaning he will get honourable treatment. They then take him to the hospital.

The Dauntless have decided that Eric will be executed today. Oh hell no, I will not let that happen. Eric sits on a chair in front of Tori, Four, and Harrison, Four holds a gun to his head, “Eric, be brave.”

I run forward towards Eric, finally revealing myself, I shield Eric’s body, “No! You can’t fucking kill him Four! You can’t!”

“Y/N, you’re alive?” Eric asks in utter shock.

“Y/N, get away from him!” Four shouts at me.

“No Four! If you want to kill him, you’ll have to kill me first.” I say confidently.

“Y/N ge-”

“No. Four.” I say slowly, “Listen, I’m not just doing this because I’m a psychotic girlfriend like you all think. Think about it, Eric is our only key to figuring out Jeanine’s plan. Don’t you want to know why Jeanine wants your girlfriend?”

“What makes you think he’ll tell us?” Tori asks me in a bitchy tone, “The man isn’t even afraid to die for Jeanine’s secret, why would he tell us?”

“Look around Tori!” I spit, “We’re in Candor. Put him under the truth serum!”

Realization strikes them all instantly, and Four and Harrison agree with me. We eventually get everything set up and Eric is put under the truth serum.

One by one, he is asked simple questions by Four.

“So why did you do it? Why did you take part in Jeanine’s plans?” Four asks.

“For her,” Eric points at me, what? “Jeanine threatened to kill her, she was on constant watch throughout initiation, and I had to do it to save her life.”

He did this for me. Me! Oh my god, I can’t believe this.

“So you didn’t want to do it?” Four asks.

“Of course not, I tried my best to not save as many people as I could. Why do you think I pushed the gun down towards my leg when Tris threatened to shoot me in Abnegation, I could have easily pushed it to the side. I let her shoot me so you two could escape. Then at Amity, I saw you in Johanna’s office yet I walked away, the only reason I had to go back to you was because Peter called me up there, the other soldiers had heard his call so I couldn’t back out.”

“You said earlier that you thought Y/N was dead, so why didn’t you stop after that, if you were only doing this to save her, why didn’t you stop after she died? Why did you come here and try to take Tris away?”

“I was told that she was killed by the one who was 100% Divergent, and that turned out to be Tris, I had to get revenge.”

“Do you regret what you did?”

“I did it to save her, so no. However, I do regret that many lives were lost because of my actions.”

“Do you have anything else to tell us?”

“I-I’m, no, nothing else!” Eric looks like he is struggling hard to keep a secret.

“What is it Eric?” Four asks more aggressively

He stays silent.

“Eric, please tell us. Please baby,” I beg him.

“I’m-I’m Divergent!”

I drop the glass of water that I was holding and Four drops his gun.

“W-what?!” Four says, everyone is clearly as shocked as I am.

“I’m Divergent.”

“Alright Eric, based on your confession, we, the members of Dauntless, have agreed to forgive you, as long as you join our side” Four says, “You can go now.”

Eric gets off his chair and walk out the door and onto the balcony. I run after him, and he turns to me, “Y/N! I’m so sorry, fuck I thought you were dead! I missed you so fucking much. I love you!”

I walk up to him and pathetically punch at him a few times, “Fuck you! You’re such an idiot Eric! You did this all for me, what were you thinking? Do you actually think I would have been able to live with myself if you had died for me?”

He pulls me into his arms, and we stand there hugging one another, until I feel wetness on the skin of my neck, “Eric? Eric are you crying?”

He takes a deep breath and pulls away from our hug, “I’m so sorry Y/N! I love you so much.”

“I know Eric. Its okay, I don’t ever want to see you cry again baby. I love you too,” and with that we kiss.

From now on, everything will be better, the war will end soon, and though our world may be fucked up, at least I have Eric with me. I don’t ever want to spend another day without him.      

A/N: I’m sorry it that was so long, it was originally going to be split into three parts, but I got a little carried away :P Anyways, I’m also sorry that I haven’t posted in forever, but this took so long to write. I hope you enjoy it! 

Masterlist // Rules List // To-Do List

pearlsgay  asked:

SLAMS IN 9 or 12 pre relationship narumitsu


I did 12: things you said when you thought i was asleep

Wright makes a noise a bit like a cow might make. His voice cracks as he sighs mightily. Does he honestly think that Edgeworth would be able to sleep through this? Does he honestly think that Edgeworth would be able to sleep at all, after the ordeal he has been through? Even if his life hadn’t just been almost ruined and then subsequently turned upside down with the revelations in court the other day, then he still wouldn’t get any sleep for the night, considering the fact that he and Wright are going to be sharing a bed.

Edgeworth’s own place had been mostly ransacked by the police, and most of his belongings hadn’t been returned to him yet. Phoenix Wright, the kind puppy of a man that he was, volunteered for Edgeworth to spend the next few nights at his place. What a terrible idea this has ended up being.

“What a crazy couple days it’s been,” Wright says aloud. What, does he think Edgeworth is awake?

“I hope he’s going to be okay,” his childhood friend says a few seconds later. “This can’t be easy on Edgeworth.” The bed dips as Wright sets himself down heavily on his side and sighs. “Hey…Miles?”

He doesn’t answer him, though his heart speeds up dangerously fast.

But Phoenix keeps talking anyway. “I know you said you never wanted to see my face again and all that but…I became a lawyer to see you again. Which sounds bad and a little weird, so I’m really glad you’re asleep now. Maybe you’ll hear this conversation subconsciously and be nicer.” He laughs to himself. The ancient bed creaks as he situates himself just so.

“One time Mia told me that you have to force your best smile when things are at their worst. (Mia was great, but you and her probably didn’t really meet.) Anyway, I’m going to do that for you, okay? Smile as big as I can until you accidentally smile, too.”

He sounds so…adorably determined.

“You’d probably frown and tell me to get out if you heard me talking like this. But I’m not going anywhere until I get you to laugh like when we were kids. Maybe I’ll just get Larry to do something stupid. Wouldn’t be that hard.”

Miles feels a smile forming already.


“You can’t stop an avalanche
As it races down the hill
You can try to stop the seasons, girl
But ya know you never will
And you can try to stop my dancin’ feet
But I just cannot stand still
Cause the world keeps spinnin’
Round and round
And my heart’s keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til’ I heard the drums
Then I found my way
Cause you can’t stop the beat”

Derek Luh Imagine - Secrets.

Wattpad request: “It’s a derek luh one obviously, and I’m pregnant with our second child because the first one passed away, and I didn’t tell him about the babies and, I discover something terrible when, Mark tells me all bout dereks drug problems. So I pack all my things and leave, when derek gets home, he finds the pictures of our first baby along with a name. You can come up with the rest. I want it to be long and dramatic.”

This is for my boo @dopexomaha sorry it took hella long. I just wanted it to be perfect and hopefully it is, you will want a part two I understand.

Change it to Y/N if you must.

Contains upsetting content and swear words (cuss/curse words)

– Ky’s POV –

I’ve cried way too much. I couldn’t handle it the first time, there’s no way I can handle it for the second time. My heart is aching severely, as well as my stomach. The cramps are still unbearable, even hours later after the process.

I can’t tell Derek. It’ll break his heart. He’ll hate me.

Sinking down onto the couch, I pick up my phone and speed dial my boyfriend’s number, still crying. “Ky.” A voice answers.

That isn’t my Derek’s voice.

“D-Derek, where is Derek.” I utter out, snivelling to try and keep myself from crying hysterically.

“He’s just went to the store, Ky I need to talk to you about him.” Mark states, sounding concerned.

“I n-need Derek.”

“I understand, but Ky you need to help him, he’s lost his self control. He’s gettin’ back on the drugs, this new guy - whatever the fuck his name is - is a bad influence. You’re the only one he will listen to, me and the guys have tried telling him.” He explains softly yet sternly, indicating the seriousness of the situation.

“Is that where he’s been all night?” I ask, rubbing my forehead.

Mark sighs. “We tried gettin’ him to go home but he wouldn’t listen, he wants to finish this project as soon as he can, but the drugs aren’t helping at all.”

The reality of it only makes me cry harder, to the point I end the call and throw my phone across the room.

I’ve let him down. I promised I would never let him go back to the drugs that almost ruined his life. I promised. I’ve let him down.

Sobbing, an idea pops into mind that I never thought or wanted to refer to. It wouldn’t be right. But what needs to be done should be done.

I’m not leaving forever…just for a week or two? I’ll call his dad and tell him the situation, Derek always listens to his dad no matter how much he resists.

I pack whatever I can fit into my bag before writing Derek a letter - to inform him why I am leaving and how long I will be gone for - and leaving an ultrasound scan of both of our babies laying on top of it. After searching the room for anything else I will need, I quickly shove one of Derek’s t-shirts in and pick up my bags and head downstairs to leave the letter and pictures on the kitchen counter.

Soon after, I am gone.

– Derek’s POV –

Regrettably, I stumble into the house - still sobering up from my last high. It’s wearing off now, but my past actions remain a blur. I’ve let her down.

My mind is slowly sobering up. Slowly but surely. “Ky?” I yell throughout our house, kicking off my shoes.

But she doesn’t answer. “Ky?” I yell again, as loud as I can. “Ky fuckin’ answer me.”

Still, the house remains silent apart from my footsteps moving towards the living room. Maybe she fell asleep on the couch.

No, she’s not in there. “Ky!” My words are slurred but right now I couldn’t care less, I just need and want my girl in my arms.

Walking into the kitchen, I see a piece of paper on the counter with two pictures beside it. “What the fuck?” I mumble to myself, walking closer to the counter.

I furrow my eyebrows when I see two ultrasound scans and a letter from Ky. I stare at the pictures for a minute or two before reading the letter.

As I finish reading the last of her written words, a tear drop falls on the piece of paper.

She’s left? She’s left me. She was pregnant? Twice?

I quickly pull out my phone, wiping my eyes and nose with the back of my hand. “Answer the fuckin’ phone.” I seethe through gritted teeth as her recorded voice blurts into my ear. I ring her over and over and over again until I reach my limit and throw my phone at the wall. I scream, slamming my hands down on the counter in anger.

She can’t leave me. I need her. We need eachother.

After a few minutes of crying profusely and throwing a few things at the walls, I run to the hallway and pick up the house phone to call her again but she doesn’t answer.

Instead, I call my dad. I hate to lean on him for advice, I let him down with the drugs but he’s the only one who gets me. The guys try to, but they just can’t.

“Just stay calm, son.” Is the first thing he says. I slide my back down the wall until I’m sitting on the ground with the phone held to my ear.

“Y-You know?” I ask, resting my other arm on my knees.

“She called me before she left, she’s coming back.” He responds, his voice firm.

I take a second to cry, squeezing my eyes closed. “You promise?” I mutter.

“I promise, she promised. She wouldn’t do that to you, Derek, she loves you just as much as you love her. You both just need time to breathe. She’s got her stuff to deal with and you have your stuff to deal with.”

“But we should be dealing with them together, she was pregnant Dad she was fuckin’ pregnant twice and she never told me. She shouldn’t be going through that shit on her own. She needs me, why would she leave me?” I break down, banging the back of my head against the wall I’m sitting against.

“You need to focus on recovering, she told me everything Derek. You need to help yourself before you help her, she’s with people who’s gonna’ be there for her. She’s going to be fine and so are you.” He sternly tells me, I nod my head and snivel.

“I just need her Dad, and she needs me.”

“Sleep it off son, you just need to sleep and a fresh start. Tomorrow is a new day, if your own health isn’t enough determination to get clean then think of her. Think of the day she’ll be back.”

I finish up our conversation, not wanting to lose any more of my dignity before ending the call and making my way upstairs to the spare bedroom. I can’t get her or our babies out of my head and sleeping in our bed will not help but a fresh start is what I need. I will get my girl back, as soon as I can.

Imagine #15

Character: Gally

Rating: K+

Request: Can you do an imagine one shot where you find out Gally has been using you by pretending to be in love with you when actually he wants to humiliate you in front of the Gladers just because you were new to the Glade and you’re the weakest Glader there but then when you run in the Maze he realizes that he loves you so he runs after you? Hope that makes sense?

“Here…” I placed down a plate of food on top of an old log next to where Gally sat, sharpening the tip of a thick branch. “I saw that they were almost out and that you hand’t eaten lunch yet so I brought you some food.” I gave Gally a small smile, rubbing his back softly, but was met quickly with dull eyes and a clenched jaw. 

“Thanks.” He muttered, not even bothering to look me in the eyes as he said it.

“Siggy is going to have to start making bigger helpings of food soon. All the boys keep wanting to eat more and more.” I chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood.

“We call him Frypan.” Gally mumbled, adding no emotion to his voice.

“Well, I like to call him by his name.” I said in a light tone, but I guess Gally took it the wrong way.

“Damn greenie…” Gally muttered under his breath, but I heard him loud and clear.

“What is going on with you today?” I stood up from where I was sitting next to him. “Lately it’s like you don’t even care about me anymore…like you don’t even love me.” My voice weakened towards the end along with my heart.

“Don’t you see? I never loved you. The boys and I made a bet to see if I could get you to fall in love with me. It was easier than I thought it’d be.” Gally raised his voice catching a lot of the other boys’ attention. With each word, Gally broke my heart piece by piece, until it felt like my whole heart had shattered. I felt humiliated, wanting to refuse what he just told me, but there was no way for me to achieve that.

“I can’t believe I ever trusted you.” I spat at him before simply running away. I couldn’t face him or any of the other boys. When emotions start to attach themselves to someone, things always became messy, whether good or bad. 

I blindly ran, messily scraping tears off of my cheeks as I headed for the place that I knew Gally would never follow. 

“Y/N! No, Y/N!” I could hear a couple of the boys yell after me, but I kept going.

  • Gally’s POV *

I watched her eyes fill up with tears, threatening to cascade over her flushed cheeks, but I knew that her pride wouldn’t let me see the tears actually fall. I couldn’t fathom that I actually had done such a thing. The wrong I had just committed felt like a spear had just pierced through my chest; I was struggling to gasp out breaths and my heart was trying to find a reason to keep beating. 

The pain displayed on her features was more than I could handle while I thought that it wouldn’t phase me. The eyes that I soon noticed seemed to sparkle when she genuinely smiled softened my heart even though I never wanted to admit it to myself. 

All the laughs that we shared together were genuine while I thought it was the facade that was ruling it. She shared her thoughts and fears that she didn’t dare to tell anyone else and I was selfish and destroyed whatever trust that I was truly glad that I had earned. 

“I can’t believe I ever trusted you.” She spat at me, burying the spear into my chest even further. She turned around, running away from the one who held her heart in his hands and wounded it. 

She made her designated path clear to see as she ran straight for it. “No! Y/N, no!” Many of the boys called after her, but she didn’t even seem to notice them, or she just didn’t care. 

I didn’t even notice that I was running after her until I stopped right in front of the entrance to the maze. There were reasons why I wasn’t a runner and the reason dominating the list was simple to see when you even just took a simple glance into the slithering labyrinth that was living inside the walls. 

Even with my towering height and strength, the maze still had me shaking at the thought of it, so I don’t even know what was running through her mind as she ran into the deathtrap. It was one of things that drew me to her when I started my supposed facade; I never knew what was running through her mind and it fascinated me. 

It seemed like everyone inhabiting the glade was standing in front of the entrance to the maze, staring up at the towering walls. I broke through the line of boys, swallowing thickly as I took my turn in sizing up the maze. 

My fists tightened and loosened continuously at my sides, as I tried to muster up the courage to enter the labyrinth of false hope. I finally dared to step forward, but was stopped as Newt placed a sturdy hand on my shoulder. “Gally, you know that if you go in there, there is no guarantee that you’ll make it back out.”

“I know…” I said softly, hating how my voice slightly quivered, “but I’m the reason that she’s in there and I’m going to be the reason that she got back out.”

Newt stayed silent, but nodded slowly. I turned back towards the maze. I look a deep breath and ran. I could feel the faint rush of air as hands grasped for me, meeting nothing but air, fueling myself on the screams telling me to turn back, to keep me reeling forward.

“Y/N!” I screamed, “Y/N…” my voice sounded defeated as I continued to yell out her name. I started turning down different turns, having absolutely no idea where I was going. I was farther into the maze than I should have been at this time. If I wasn’t careful the maze would start to…close. My heart was beating in my chest, speeding up more than I could handle as fear seized my heart. 

The ground was starting to slightly rumble and I could hear the echoing of the walls starting on their trail to shutting for the night. It was like the world was spinning and I had no time to get myself put back together. I starting running back the way I thought I had come. I tried retracing my steps as best as I could, but my hope was dwindling faster than my feet would move. 

I turned to the right, trying to follow the sound of the walls. I turned once more to the left and relief overtook me as I saw the faint shapes of the boys, but they were growing smaller and smaller as the walls were almost shut. 

I knew that I was too late, but I still ran anyways, moving on the ounce of hope still alive in me. The boys’ screams echoed in my ears, but I blocked them out as that ounce of hope drained because the doors had closed. My hand pounded on the walls, ripping up my palms, screaming at me to stop.

“No…” I heard someone huff out behind me, skidding to a stop. I turned around to see Y/N staring up at the walls, hope dwindling fast in her eyes. At the sound of my movement, her eyes moved down to me, widening slightly as she saw who I was. “No.” She said more forcefully, taking a step backwards the moment that I took a step forwards. 

I stopped moving, but she kept moving backwards, shaking her head until she fully turned back around and ran into the maze. “Y/N!” I tried to call after her, but she wouldn’t stop. “Please, just let me explain…” I muttered but it only seemed to reach my ears. 

My brain was screaming at me to stay where I was and not risk getting lost out there, but I knew that I wasn’t going to listen. I took a hesitant step forward, starting off slowly, but at the sound of a loud shriek that immediately sent goosebumps up my arms, I ran. 

I weaved through the maze, trying to find her, but I felt like my guesses were becoming more and more incorrect, but then I heard another sound…it was like soft sobbing. It was just barely loud enough for me to follow.

I turned to the right at the end of the path, hesitating for a moment as I tried to catch the sound again, before turning to the left and finally finding the source of the weakening sobs.

I felt my throat closing up as I saw her lying on her back, trembling as she stared up at one of hell’s greatest creations. The griever’s legs surrounded her body, giving her no place for to escape. 

The movement of my approach caught it’s attention and I froze where I stood. The grievers were like a monster of some old story that people would pass down from generation to generation as a campfire story.  You heard people talk of their frightening tactics and visage, but you never quite believed it until you were staring at one straight in the eye. 

Y/N looked back at me as best as she could from the position that she was in, but it was like a reminder to the griever that she was there. Its attention turned back on her and before either of us could move, the griever stung her causing her to yelp in pain. I bit my lip to stop me from screaming, tasting the faint taste of blood that trickled into my mouth. 

With its previous target taken care of, the griever turned to me. I started walking back slowly, assessing the situation before I finally turned around and started to sprint, turning all different ways in the maze, trying to lose the creature trailing behind. I was able to make it down two corridors before my feet were taken out from under me and my head crashed to the ground with a loud thud. 

Catch Fire - Calum Hood

I am @selesgomez and this is for @cliffordchick ’s SGFG series . You should check it out, the stories are really amazing. I hope you like this one!

Pairing: Calum x reader

Author’s note: I really hope this didn’t suck. I don’t know how many words this story has because I wrote the biggest part of it on tumblr, but it definitely has more than 1K. I’m sorry for any spelling mistake, english is not my first language and sometimes I fuck up. The story is on Calum’s POV and I can write a second part in hers if anyone ask. Oh, it is also full of flashbacks and they are in italic. Tell me what you think of the story :)

The noise of the pen meeting my notebook was no longer inpiring and soothing, actually, it was starting to bother me. The things that once flew out of my head and danced in blue ink felt foreign to me now. Even the freedom that I was so proud to own didn’t taste the same anymore. I can’t find in me the power I had to put my feelings into lyrics, nothing seems to work right, not a single sound was on tune and the words seems to run away from me.

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A/N: basically, episode 28 sparked some ‘staring longingly at laura while she sleeps’ carmilla lol

it’s been approximately thirty minutes since laura finally fell asleep, her nose nuzzling the slight dip in my pillow. she’s cuter this way.. quiet and as she commented on good ole beefcake, oblivious to the world. even from the floor, i can see her grip tightening and loosening on my sheets probably as her mind did its best to create familiar dreams that didn’t involve dripping darkness.

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