AND I NEED TO FLAIL IN FRONT OF SOMEONE

anonymous asked:

Can I get UT, UF Sans + US, SF Papyrus reacting to a close friend texting them and asking if they've eaten dinner, the skelly hasn't eaten in a while and replies with something like "nah, i'm already too fat/i'm tryna lose the weight of my problems" and the friend never replies back. Five minutes later the door to their house bursts open and the friend is there with bags of food and aggressively yells "I SPRINTED THROUGH MULTIPLE BLOCKS AND YOU'RE GONNA F'KIN EAT, YA HEAR ME!?"

Okay so sorry for all the texting in this, but I can’t explain how much I love domestic texting between friends. This turned into small drabbles btw and sorry if they didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to, I got carried away. 

I also put a keep reading on this, I think I’m going to start doing that on the very long posts. Tell me if it doesn’t work on mobile and I’ll remove it or try and work around it.

UT!Sans: -When he gets the first message he just thinks you’re looking to invite him out for some grub, but he’s honestly not feeling like heading to Grillby’s right now. Still, he doesn’t see any reason to lie to you. So he sends a quick message back.

5:21 pm - nah, but my bones are big enough already. dont need extra weight on them.

He waits for a few minutes. Nothing happens. Did you just forget to reply back? It says that you read it… He figures that you probably just forgot though, or you headed out for dinner by yourself. He’s content with this reasoning as he turns back to the TV, sinking deep into the couch cushions. He gets two more minutes of TV watching before the front door is slammed open, and for a second he’s sure that Undyne is here, until you step into his line of vision. Your face is red and you’re trying to catch your breath. You also have a slight manic look on your face that is making him question if it’d be wise to ask why you’re here.

‘’Um… Y/N?’’ he says trying to make sense of your messy form.

You’re still panting as you set two delicious smelling bags on the coffee table in front of him. You bend over and put your hands on your knees, breathing almost normally now.

‘’What are you doing here?’’ he asks again.

You look up at him, takes a deep breath while you straighten yourself and then from nowhere you yell at him.

‘’I JUST SPRINTED THROUGH MULTIPLE BLOCKS AFTER GETTING THIS FOOD AND YOU ARE GOING TO EAT IT OR SO HELP ME!’’ you yell angrily with a fierce look in your eyes.

Normally he’d say a joke, or argue just for the fun of it. But your eyes are showing genuine concern, and you did go out of your way to make sure he’d eat. So instead he moves over on the couch and pats the seat next to him.

‘’Jeez, kid. Talk about home delivery,’’ he laughs while looking away from you.

You make your way over to him and plop down on the couch with a sigh. Leaning back and stretching out your limbs you make a grabby gesture for the bags, which are still sitting on the table. He smiles wryly and gestures with his hand making the bags float towards you. You grab one of them with a contented smile and then rips it open, digging in on whatever is inside. Handing him the left over ketchup packets, which he stores in his pocket for later use. He does the same and you both turn to face the TV. When you’ve finished the meals, you both sit in a comfortable silence. Enjoying each other’s presence while watching one stupid show after the other.

He can’t help but feel like this is the kind of friendship he’s always wanted.

UF!Sans: - An annoying electronic chime woke him up from his sleep. He grunted and fumbled around in complete darkness until his hand felt something hard on his bed. Reaching out he grabbed ahold of his phone and tried to find the home screen button. He winced when the bright light blinded him, trying to cover his eye sockets. Swearing, he turned the brightness down and opened his new text message. Your contact named showed up as the phone loaded your recent conversation, you’d sent him a couple of texts while he’d been asleep and he read through them carefully.

6:34 pm - Yo Red, what’d you eat for dinner today?

6:44 pm - RED

6:46 pm - Red answer me I need to know

6:47 pm - Did you fall asleep again?

6:58 pm - Okay that’s it, I’m coming over and I’m bringing food. You better be up and ready or I am dragging your bony butt out of bed

Wait you were doing what? He looked at the time. 7:00 pm. Shit you’d be here soon. He threw himself off the bed, but his legs got tangled in the bed sheets and instead of standing up, he fell on the floor face first. Grunting he tried to get up, when he heard someone knock on the front door. Panicking he flailed around even more, managing to get the sheets stuck between his fibula and tibula. He stood up on one leg, and hopped around while trying to untangle himself from his prison of bedsheets and blankets. Just as he was standing there bent forward and hopping on one leg, the door opened. He looked up like a deer in headlights and saw you standing in his door opening. Flushed face, panting and desperately trying to hold back a grin.

‘’The fuck you lookin’ at,’’ he grunted as he once again fought to get free.

‘’Oh nothing-’’ you said, leaning against the doorframe -’’just enjoying the performance.’’

He muttered something that sounded like a quiet fuck you, and then finally got his leg free and stood up straight. Stretching, he managed to pop his back in a few places and he grunted in satisfaction. He walked past you and into his living room. Turning to look as you followed him out.

‘’Did ya bring food?’’ he asked.

‘’Yes,’’ you replied simply. ‘’And you are going to eat it’’

‘’I don’t need any more food, I’m heavy enough as it is.’’

You turned around and gave him a dangerously calm look.

‘’I just sprinted through a lot of blocks to get you this food,’’ you said walking closer to him. ‘’And you are going to eat every. last. fucking. bit. You hear me?’’ Your voice was low and almost threatening, and your eyes gleamed of determination.

He never thought that he’d call his small human friend scary, but that look you were giving him chilled him to the bones. And the smell of the food broke his will down, you bought him food for hells sake. He wasn’t about to turn that down.

‘’Fine,’’ he muttered and sat down on the couch.

You smiled and joined him, tossing him one of the bags while opening your own. You ate in silence, the only sounds coming from the TV playing in front of you both. It wasn’t until you had both finished your food and was sat quietly watching the show that a thought entered his head. He never gave you a key to his flat…

‘’How the hell did you get in here??’’

US!Papyrus: Papyrus sucks at looking after himself. And he never pays attention to when he should be sleeping or eating. Meaning that when he’s up playing video games in the middle of the night, it’s safe to presume that he has not been eating anything other than a few snacks for the past hours. This night was one of those nights.

He just never bothered to keep track of time.

He did know that it was late, though. Way too late for anyone to be texting him. Which is why he jumped when his phone went off next to him on the floor.

He glanced at it quickly but then looked back at the TV, doing his best not to die before the event had been completed. About five seconds from pulling through, someone shot him from behind and he fought the urge to yell in frustration as his characters sank down on the ground. He flopped backwards with a sigh and lifted his phone to read the message. Smiling slightly when he saw your name on the screen.

12:54 am - Heyyy you up?

Were you drunk or bored? Scientists can’t tell he thought and snorted at his own joke. He typed out a lazy text and waited a few seconds on your reply.

1:01 am - yea im up

1:02 am - Can’t sleep?

1:02 am - wasnt tryin, you?

1:03 am - Me neither, what’d you eat today?

1:04 am - I dont think i ate anything tbh, why

No reply. Did you fall asleep or just ditch him? He should probably go to bed then. But he can’t be bothered to get off the floor. And he’s not feeling tired enough to fall asleep where he is. Maybe he should just stay there for a while. Meditate or something.

His phone chimed again and he unlocked it as he lifted it to his face

1:09 am - Open your door

1:10 am - what ?

1:10 am - I am outside your house, open the front door or I’m climbing through your window

There was no way you were outside his house. And he didn’t feel like getting up and walking into the prank willingly

1:11 am - i call bluff on this

He waited for your comeback, where you’d desperately try and get him to go out and check the front of his house. But he wasn’t going to do that. He wasn’t about to let you own him like that, he’s not stupid.

A knock on the window made him jump and scramble to his feet. You sat on the roof under his window in a crouch. When you saw that you had grabbed his attention you started frantically gesturing for the lock. He stared at you for a while, to your obvious irritation, until he walked forwards and opened the window. You jumped in and opened your backpack on the floor, pulling out two bags of take out food. You checked the content of them both, and then handed him one while you started eating from yours. He took it from you but continued staring at you.

‘’Are you going to open it?’’ you asked with your mouth full of food.

‘’It’s the middle of the night,’’ he said. ‘’What are you doing here?’’

‘’I wanted take out food. And I wanted to eat it with you. And since you’re so stupid that you can’t even get your own food, I decided to bring it to you,’’ you said simply, still munching away on your food.

He sat down in front of you, but still didn’t touch his bag. You looked up at him, and this time you looked even more irritated then before.

‘’Listen dude, I worked hard for that food, so you better fucking eat it,’’ you said in an angry voice.

‘’Listen dude,’’ he said mimicking your voice. ‘’I’m trying to loose the weight of my problems here.’’ He tried giving you the food back.

Your eyes widened a little, and your face softened. You leaned forward and pushed the bag back into his hands.

‘’Please eat, Papy,’’ you said in a much softer voice, your eyes almost pleading.

Deciding to give up he sat beside you and picked at the contents of his bag. For take out food, it looked surprisingly non greasy. Still good though. He picked it up and started eating, while reaching for his TV remote to put on some night tv. You ate in silence for a while, until you stood up and flopped down on his bed. He did the same and crawled over you so he was laying facing the wall. Saying your goodnights, you slowly drifted off to sleep.

He woke up the next day to an empty bed and an open window.

SF!Papyrus: When Rus gets in a low mood, taking care of himself doesn’t seem all that important. He’s not lazy, really. More apathetic. Doing chores and errands for his brother and superior keeps his mind busy and his hands occupied, letting him get through the day a little easier. But when he’s alone at night, everything becomes a little harder. And self care turns into a chore he’s not motivated enough to do.

He’d rather just wrap himself in a blanket and quietly suffer in silence, waiting it out. Hoping to feel a little better soon.

Alone…

He’s drifted off to sleep without even noticing, dreamless and exhausted despite it not even being 5 pm yet. When he slowly drifts back to conscousness he feels like he could sleep for a week more. But something woke him up, and he should probably see what that was.

His phone lights up with a soft ding. Showing two text notification and several others from social media. Grunting softly, he flipped over and reached out for it. Fumbling before his fingers got a good grip. He brought the phone closer to him, trying to unlock it while rubbing the sleep off his face. He got the passcode wrong three times before he managed to steady his hand enough to tap it in. Insisting on doing it with his thumb instead of holding the thing with both hands.

Your name shows up on the screen, along with the many emojis you’d used when you added yourself as a contact on his phone. He feels like smiling at the thought, but he’s too tired to move his face. So he starts reading the messages you sent him instead.

5:07 pm - Hey Papyrus

5:07 pm - What’d you have for dinner today?

He wants to type out some made up bullshit and go back to sleep. But you don’t deserve lies when you’re showing concern. This thought actually makes him smile, you’re so sweet.

5:10 pm - Haven’t eaten yet

Good, that wasn’t a lie. But he still wouldn’t worry you enough for you to take action. Meaning he could go back to sleep again.

5:10 pm - Papyrus you have to eat!!!!

Or not…

5:11 pm - I’m on a diet, it’s called ‘’how to loose the weight of your problems by not eating’’

That probably wasn’t the smartest thing to send you he thought. Shit he didn’t want to worry you before, why would he send you that. Like this wasn’t going to make you worry. God that was so stupid.

His phone made another sound, you’d sent him another message.

5:13 pm - Ok that’s it

Wait what

5:13 pm - what

What the hell were you doing? He flopped down onto the bed and put a hand over his eye sockets. Whatever it was he’d started now, he wasn’t feeling up for it. He honestly just wanted to go back to sleep. But instead he waited for your message, where you would explain what was going on. It never came. And eventually he felt his eyes slowly start creeping together. And his hand slid away from his face, coming to a rest on his pillow as he turned his body sideway. A minute later and he was sound asleep, snoring softly while curled around himself.

A sound woke him up, much louder than the first time. He sat up as he heard footsteps approaching. Expecting it to be his brother, he started to frantically straighten his clothing, intending to appear as if he hadn’t been asleep for the last god knows how long.

The footsteps were even closer now.

Suddenly his door flew open, slamming into his wall and most likely leaving a mark in the drywall. You stormed in, closed the door just as hard as you’d pushed it open, and then stormed over to him.

‘’I-’’ you started while still marching towards him-’’just ran like a hundred blocks to get you this food, so you are going to eat every last bit!’’ Your voice was loud and you sounded close to angry.

He blinked at you for a few seconds. ‘’I didn’t need food,’’ he said finally. His quiet voice a contrast to your own.

‘’I don’t care,’’ you answered. ‘’Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten all day. And even if you have, you’re still eating dinner. Now move over and make some room for me’’

You hopped up in his bed before he got a chance to follow orders. And then you threw one of the bags in his direction, before you opened your own. He caught his bag midair and held it in his hands for a few moments. Then he resigned. Leaning over he grabbed his laptop and set it up on his nightstand, putting on his recently watched show on netflix. He figured that he’d have to right to choose the entertainment after you practically broke into his apartment. Besides, he knew that you had seen the show already.

You both ate in a comfortable silence, caught up in the show. Every now and then, he would glance back at you. Study you. He knew humans could be loyal, a trait that had mostly been lost by monsters. And he didn’t doubt that your concerns were genuine. But in his quiet curiosity one question always came back to him.

Why did you care so much?

On Writing: Bodyguards

Has your character ever needed a bodyguard?  Yes?  Did you think that the job of a bodyguard was limited to walking next to someone while wearing sunglasses and having sexual tension/banter?  Well then, we need to talk.

  • Bodyguarding is a regulated profession.  Technically, you don’t need to go to a class to follow someone around and promise to beat up whoever hassles them.  On the other hand, if you do that, your paycheck can’t say “bodyguard” on it.  Every state has different requirements, but all of them include “take at least some sort of class and get a license.”  You have to take a class to be a security guard.  You have to take a different class to be a bodyguard.  You have take more classes to be an armed guard.  You have to take a separate, unique class for each type and caliber of weapon you want to be licensed for.  Now, like everything else, there are good and bad schools for this sort of thing, and with very little searching you can probably find a “school” that will take your money and give you a license at the end of the day, whether you paid attention to the class or not.  But the fact still remains that you can’t just turn to any random person and call them a bodyguard.

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