AND HOLY SHIT ONE DAY AWAY!!!

Consider:

Amanda’s away at college. She’s having lunch one day with a bunch of friends, when one of her friends nudges her and is like, “Don’t look now but there’s a really attractive older guy dressed like a vampire staring at you.”

And of course Amanda whips around and her eyes go wide.

Her friend facepalms and is like, “I told you not to-”

“Holy shit, it’s my dad,” Amanda whispers, and her friends turn to stare at her, dumbfounded, wondering if they heard right.

“Oh my gosh, Damien, what are you doing here!?” Amanda shouts, running straight at him and tackling him at full speed, gushing a mile a minute about how happy she is to see him and asking if MC and Lucien are there too.

Her friends follow her, and after all the introductions have been made, one of Amanda’s friends asks, “You call your dad by his name?”

And Amanda just huffs and rolls her eyes, saying that, “Well, it’s not like I want to, but he and my pops only got married like a few months ago, and he still gets super flustered whenever I try to call him d-”

“Really, Amanda!” chastises Damien, looking exasperated. “That happened once. Last month. I can assure you I’ve quite gotten over such childish-”

“Oh yeah?” interrupts Amanda, crossing her arms and staring at him with a raised eyebrow. “You sure about that, dad?”

Damien is able to keep a straight face for all of two seconds before a bright red flush spreads across his cheeks and to the tips of his ears, and he buries his face in his hands.

“I have a daughter,” he squeaks, sounding close to tears.


Fan works inspired by this post:

The Time I Took On the Military (And Won)

Considering the staggering amount of votes this one got, here you go!

ok so it’s my sweet sixteen and i took two of my closest friends paintballing. We started off alone with just the three of us. Me and this girl formed a truce so we could take out her brother. He found a building with a roof to shoot from so i was criss crossing and sliding behind shelters.

Long story short with this guy i snuck up behind his building and shot him point blank in the ass while he was climbing a ladder.

Except now his sister is my enemy and a much larger threat.

I criss cross my way back narrowly avoiding being shot. I skid to a stop behind this bush with a really gappy fence and go GOOD ENOUGH BRING IT ON and poke my muzzle through. I cant particularly see but I remembered seeing her in a little chapel window. I aim that general direction and open fire. I immediately hear HIT. When she comes out i see where i hit her. Right between the eyes like I couldnt do that again if I tried. Ill take it.

We’re back at the base ops and these massive dudes come over like “yo wanna join us we need more players” and we’re like “oh ya bud the more the merrier” so we go over and everyone is freaking massive and there’s us three tiny lil teenagers. I over hear they’re a military team and just sigh because i know im dead this is just my luck

Apparently they wanted us so that they could simulate having civilian to protect, who were also armed. (They did a piss poor job of this seriously wtf)

So the game starts and im seperated from my friends. They’re on the opposite team.

Im sticking near the leader and just generally trying not to die. He’s giving me orders as softly and nicely as he can, thinking Im scared. I mean really who wouldnt be?

I wasnt. I was ready to kick butt. When I am silent, be afraid, im planning something.

Next thing i know he’s gone. Shot, running, hiding i dont know and i dont care i gotta move there are way too many heavily armed men in these woods for me to be comfortable

Im trekking through this woodsy area keeping as low as possible because the other team has a freaking sniper and im not dealing with that no thanks im just a tiny teenager leave me alone ok

Im doing my thing and trying to find people to shoot because everyone is mia when i see people ahead.

Not my people.

And they havent seen me yet. Im looking around looking for some decent cover or somewhere to take them by surprise and there is nothing. The entire area is just thistle bushes with massive thorns. And then my idea hits. A wicked, mischievous idea. I grin behind my mask and get ready to lay my trap.

I plop myself down right in the middle of these thistles and army crawl to the path their taking and just lay still.

These guys dont see me.

They’re not expecting someone to be in these bushes cause who is that dumb.

The one dudes boot is an inch from my hand and i spring up and yell SURPRISE before shooting him right in the chest and then the two behind him. Three down, way too many to go. I ran away cackling like a witch

Dont die dont die dont die

I head out again and meet up with some more of my group. They stick me at the back to keep me out of harms way. A valiant, if ineffective effort

Enter enemy attack.

We get split up into two groups to flank them and i end up alone again. I moving slowly, spinning in a slow circled because I am EFFED

I’m a tiny lil sixteen year old girl, all alone, with about 15 guns pointed at me. I was completely surrounded. My comrades who had fled to live and fight another day are now making haste towards me like WHO LEFT THE KID BEHIND HELP HER and im like

hell no i got this

I went absolutely ape shit on their asses.

Shots are flying around me like crazy and everyone is screaming. One of the enemies shouts FALL BACK WHAT THE FU–

I hear one if my partners like HOLY SHIT SHE’S ALIVE

I barrel over one of the attackers and side arm his gun away. I break out from the Circle of Doom and make a mad dash for cover.

I leap into the air and spin to fave them. Im not getting shot in the back I an a WARRIOR

I just start spraying with a battle cry to rattle the heavens

I smack back down to earth and land in a crouch

Every single one of the attackers were shot, usually multiple times, and i didnt get shot once. Frankly no clue how i managed but I am NOT questioning it. Luck or skill I dont care

Eventually it was down to two people. Me and the other teams captain.

He’s a big, scary dude. He had a custom gun that could pop off a frankly alarming amount of shots per second.

The odds arent exactly in my favour.

We find each other right in the middle with trenches and tiny little metal fences for cover. Im walking through like plz dont shoot me i am small be nice

The dude pops up from a trench and starts firing. No mercy here.

Fine then.

I duck behind a fence and it is the most pathetic thing i have ever seen.

I have barely enough room to crouch behind it because it’s so small. The other dude finds a nice big trench and big fence the lucky lil jerk.

So we’re poppin up like weasels trying to get a shot in. I cant hit him, he cant hit me. Up and down and up and down. My fence angles down ever so slightly so im tucked in as tightly as I could. My fence is rattling as shot after shot after shot hits. The shots stop, i poke my muzzle over the edge amd lay down some fire.

And the cycle repeats

I get tired of this little exchange so the next time he goes down i lay on some cover fire and sprint like hell for a near by trench like i am just bookin it thinking dont shoot me dont shoot me imma kill you

i slide in and pop up just as he rises to take a shot. Except im not where he thought id be.

I shot him right in the side of his bald lil head.

So i won. My team legit carried me on their shoulders back to base ops

And that’s the time I, a sixteen year old girl, beat a team of militarily trained behemoths

silly chloe headcanons
  • “whatever happened to that old medieval brand chivalry? you know where knights laid themselves facedown in the mud and let you walk across their backs so your dress wouldn’t get dirty.” 
    • “that’s….not how that goes, chloe.” 
    • “oh thank god, patent the idea for me, and do you think kim would be interested?”
  • she holds the record for most online purchases made while procrastinating during a single class period (five Lancôme palettes, four Louis Vuitton handbags, three Chanel dresses, and seventeen Louboutin heels). thank you unlimited platinum credit cards. 
  • “wait…you only have one bathroom in your whole house!?”
  • chloe forgot about a history exam one day and straight up slipped mme. bustier an envelope of €500 so that she could “overlook this whole test thing.”
    • she got sent to the principal’s office, all the while complaining that “daddy bribes his staff to overlook things all the time!”
  • whenever chloe insults someone, adrien blackmails her by saying he’ll reveal her crunchyroll premium account and all of her fandom blogs if she doesn’t apologize that same day. it’s his most effective method of keeping her in check, and she highly resents it
  • she’s super instagram famous and likes to post a lot of makeup videos, fashion hauls, and nail tutorials when she’s bored
    • no one will admit to it, but everyone in the class watches her instagram videos all the time because holy shit her highlight is immaculate and how on earth does she get her nail gradients to look so neat?
  • she’s scarily good at the knife game??? one day she was bored in class and was fiddling around with her metal nail file and pretty soon she was an expert. it’s great for scaring away stupid boys who try to bother her during study hall. 
  • one time marinette was complaining in the hallway that she forgot her eyeliner at home and didn’t have anything to touch up her makeup with, and on instinct chloe pulls out her emergency makeup kit and asks “pencil, gel, or liquid?”
    • she may hate the girl but forgetting your touch up bag at home is about the most tragic thing chloe’s ever heard in her life
  • “im a very charitable person! just this morning i told a woman leaving her hotel room that her dress looked like a burlap sack that a drunk, colorblind, has-been artist just finished throwing up all over. a lesser person would’ve let her walk outside in that monstrosity.” 

anonymous asked:

Yuuri comes home one day and he sees Victor standing proudly in the kitchen, all the dishes done and put away. Victor expects yuuri to be proud of him but instead yuuri says, with a totally straight face, "who are you and what have you done with Victor nikiforov."

SAVAGE

1. You cry. Holy shit, do you cry. Sobs choke you on buses and in the bathrooms at school and most heavily late at night as you wait for a text.


2. This text won’t come. You cry harder.


4. You run into him in the hallways. You may try to catch his eye but when you do, it feels like ice slipping down to your stomach and proceeds to gather there like lead. Next time it happens you walk fast with your head down.


5. Polite mumbles are finally passed between the two of you. Maybe an obligatory thank you as he holds a door, or an excuse me as you walk past, utterly daunted by the prospect of brushing his arm. He mumbles an unintelligible reply, and your ears will by habit perk up to seek that special and soft tone of voice reserved only for you.


6. You won’t find it. And eventually, you stop looking.


7. The two of you are officially on speaking terms again. Possibly not one-on-one conversations, but if he’s in a group you no longer feel the need to exclude yourself. Your heart breaks as he laughs easily at other’s jokes, but then proceeds to mend itself and soar as he does the same to yours. He always loved your sense of humor.


8. You text him for the first time since everything happened. It’s strictly for homework help, it’s been nearly two months, and it takes you four hours to work up the nerve to hit send. He replies within the minute. You can’t help but marvel at the fact that even now, he’s still coming to the rescue when you call.


9. You’re good friends by this point. Conversations alone are no longer scary things, but something you hope to happen throughout the day. But then, when one does, his friend flashes you two a heart symbol across the room. Like a tidal wave crashing down on to the beach, you’re reminded of how much you still love him with such force it nearly knocks the breath out of you. You walk away without meeting his eyes. You go home with your head down.


10. You cry. Holy shit, do you cry.

—  How To Not Get Over A Boy In 10 Easy Steps

So imagine if Neil had a sibling he didn’t know existed. Just hear me out okay.

((this post seriously got away from me but I am definitely 100% not sorry))

He’s kidnapped and dragged to his dads house and they’re standing there ready to hack him piece from piece and Nathan calls for his guard upstairs and down comes this 10 year old with Lola’s hair and Nathan’s eyes and a set of bruises on her face and Neil just FREEZES.

(It could be a brother but I’m sticking with sister- you’ll see why)

And Neil doesn’t know WHY Nathan is bringing this kid - that looks like him- downstairs to watch a gruesome murder but she looks completely unsettled when she sees Neil and his half destroyed face. And she looks like she wants to step forward but the guard holds her back.

Nathan is rambling about her watching because she needs to know what would happen if she crosses him and Neil is so angry he can’t listen. He just keeps staring at her hoping that his expression is doing anything to tell her it’s okay, it’s okay, don’t be afraid, it’s okay. She starts crying as soon as Nathan is telling Neil what Lola is going to do to him.

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Holy Shit

Peter Parker x Reader, fluff.

A/N: @sarazzprime​ requested this with the first sentence - I changed it up a tiny bit to fit the story. 

Originally posted by mrsgarfieldxo

“Holy shit!” Peter Parker yelped in delightful shock, as he watched you catch and hold back with your bare hands, the semi truck that had come careening out of control - right towards a group of pedestrian who were crossing the street. He stood there in his Spider-man suit, 100% stunned by what he had just witnessed.

You panted as the metal of the truck bent in your palms, feet sliding to a halt as the vehicle came to a slow stop. Heart racing, you cried out in pain and pushed back the truck slightly as you tried to catch a breath or two.

“Holy shit..” Peter was at your side, hand on your shoulder and the sound of pure disbelief in his face. “You - you just - I saw you - HOLY SHIT.”

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✰ * º ❛   buzzfeed unsolved sentence starters  ( pt. four )   ❜

         (   part of the youtube starter series   )

‘  you don’t feel strange at all? not even a little bit?  ’
‘  oh shit, waddup! i’m taking a selfie with some demons, yooo. hell yeah, whaaa!!  ’
‘  you’re insufferable.  ’
‘  yeah, i’m just gonna… get some fucking holy water.  ’
‘  i’ve lived my life with one adage and that’s don’t fuck with demons.  ’
‘  i just love seeing you squirm!  ’
‘  okay, tell your spooky story!  ’
‘  i think this is all bullshit.  ’
‘  we better get out of this house, somebody knocked our little bear out of his little wicker chair.  ’
‘  you’re telling me you wouldn’t be unnerved by going upstairs and seeing a bunch of stuffed animals organized into a little cult circle when no one did it?  ’
‘  what the fuck? oh shit! no!! where’s my holy water?  ’
‘  what the fuck? oh shit! no!!  ’
‘  where’s my holy water?  ’
‘  it’s just a flashlight! it rolls, it’s cylindrical!  ’
‘  here’s the thing– this is what i fucking love about like, paranormal evidence. people are always clamoring for it, right? like ‘where’s the evidence,’ and then when the evidence is finally they’re like, ‘fake!’  ’
‘  if you slit my throat tonight, i’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that.  ’
‘  will you haunt me for the rest of my life?  ’
‘  no, i won’t haunt you cause i’ll be dead. ghosts aren’t real.  ’
‘  that demon’s racist!  ’
‘  fuck that demon, he’s whitewashing the history of this house.  ’
‘  this demon’s what’s wrong with hollywood.  ’
‘  whatever, demon’s racist. i don’t respect this demon.  ’
‘  you’ve lost your mind!  ’
‘  here we go! rock and roll, buckaroo.  ’
‘  fuck this house. fuck this house so hard.  ’
‘  here’s the thing, i discount almost 100% of all of ‘i saw it in the middle of the night’ things because sleep paralysis, often times, most people wake up and see shit.  ’
‘  if i wake up tonight and there’s this grotesque looking thing laying next to me and just staring at me with it’s fucking stupid beady eyes open, i’m gonna shit myself. there’s gonna be poo in my sleeping bag.  ’
‘  i’m gonna sleep closer to you, i don’t care.  ’
‘  every little pin drop that you hear, every little creak, it’s gonna make your butthole tighten.  ’
‘  i think it would be a sleep-full night for me if it weren’t for you.  ’
‘  annnnnd nope, i’m man enough to admit that this is not happening tonight. i can’t. it’s not happening ever.  ’
‘  you givin’ up?  ’
‘  i just think it’s silly to give up at the last minute, but whatever. you know, it’s no big deal.  ’
‘  did you just call the demon a motherfucker?  ’
‘  i don’t give a shit now, i’m gone.  ’
‘  peace out, bitches. go fuck yourself. you were truly awful and i hate you.  ’
‘  this is the happiest moment of my life.  ’
‘  i think it was just a wonderful coincidence.  ’
‘  i’m glad it happened because i got to see you turn into a babbling mess.  ’
‘  i’m happy to let you believe in this ‘cause i think it’s fun that you believe in it, cause if we go to more places, it’s gonna be fun to watch you freak out some more. so great.  ’
‘  let’s just call it unsolved, how ‘bout that?  ’
‘  but we sure had fun!  ’
‘  he looks really happy, actually. look at that little face. he looks like he’s eatin’ grapes.  ’
‘  that’s really interesting, let’s get the fuck out of here.  ’
‘  i don’t wanna imagine that. can’t you just let me enjoy the moment for once?  ’
‘  what a trip its been. we’ve seen a lot of stuff. seen spiders, we’ve seen… ghouls.  ’
‘  this looks like disney land. i wouldn’t be surprised if they got cotton candy in there.  ’
‘  yuk it up, man. yuk it up. you’re really enjoying this, but when the lights go off, this may be a little different.  ’
‘  you’re full of shit if you do not feel strange right now.  ’
‘  i assure you in like half of the places you’ve been, people have died there. people have probably died in the chipotle we just ate at.  ’
‘  well then that’s why she didn’t live forever! cause she found a loophole!  ’
‘  i won’t argue that your logic is flawed. i just hate it because it’s detrimental to my argument.  ’
‘  you think the ghosts just checked in every like 3 to 5 years?  ’
‘  this is a theory. i’m just stating a theory.  ’
‘  no one builds a house like this because they have arthritis. no one says, ‘oh, my knuckles feel a little funny. i’m gonna build a house with 500 rooms.’  ’
‘  i hear ya, man. i agree with ya. i’m just saying this is a theory that people believe… and i’m relaying the theory.  ’
‘  those people are idiots.  ’
‘  i mean, you know what the doctor says: ‘nothing’s better for arthritis than a two story drop to the floor below’ right?  ’
‘  although, i will say, i cannot imagine communicating with spirits produces any kind of receipt.  ’
‘  that’d be– yeah. i… i agree with your calling of bullshit.  ’
‘  good! i’m glad we agree on something for once.  ’
‘  i’m gonna lock myself in here with the ghosts.  ’
‘  i knew that you were gonna do that and it still scared me. fuck you.  ’
‘  hey, man. calm down!  ’
‘  you almost scared me to death – i’m never gonna forgive you for that. hope you’re fucking proud of yourself.  ’
‘  there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real. you can’t see gravity – that’s real.  ’
‘  i can’t see gravity? yeah, i can drop an apple.  ’
‘  hey, ghosts! tussle my hair. give me a little purple nurple or something, let’s have some fun!  ’
‘  you’re the worst.  ’
‘  if i have to spend one more moment looking at your silly face, i think i might murder you myself.  ’
‘  we’re on our way to a nightmare.  ’
‘  you’re on your way to a nightmare. i’m on my way to a nice retreat.  ’
‘  this is a mistake.  ’
‘  there’s also a thunderstorm rolling in so that’s fun.  ’
‘  he looks fine. look at him! the kids fine and now i feel like a big weenie.  ’
‘  you are a big weenie.  ’
‘  this is the beginning of a horror movie right now.  ’
‘  that’s an ominous cloud in the sky. some very atmospheric thunder.  ’
‘  well, this seems all horrible and awful in general.  ’
‘  look, there’s spiders everywhere, so that’s nice.  ’
‘  see, i’m more concerned about the spiders than the ghosts.  ’
‘  i thought i got bit in the asscheeks by a spider.  ’
‘  anytime i get even remotely spooked, i just look to the monkey with the sunglasses.  ’
‘  is that a bed? is that a guy? should we poke it with a stick?  ’
‘  uhh, sure. if that’s what it’s gonna take to get us out of here then yes, i believe in all of this.  ’
‘  this is a fucking nightmare.  ’
‘  what the fuck was that?! holy shit balls!  ’
‘  okay, i don’t care what his favorite was – fuck that, let’s go.  ’
‘  toodaloo, can’t say it was pleasurable.  ’
‘  fuck everything about that place.  ’
‘  ‘odd’ doesn’t even begin to describe this one. it’s very strange.  ’
‘  my interest is piqued.  ’
‘  they’re making their kids work seven days a week? my parents would maybe be like, ‘empty the dishwasher’ on a… you know, a thursday, and i’d be like, ‘this is bullshit.’   ’
‘  i guess i’d run away from my parents if they made me work seven days a week, especially if i was shoveling horse shit and moving dirt.  ’
‘  i’d fake my own death.  ’
‘  you strike me as one of those idiots who likes to put their phone down and walk into the middle of the woods and experience nature and all that bullshit.  ’
‘  either way, leaving your house in this day and age without your phone, without your credit cards, that’s already a death sentence. you can’t do that.  ’
‘  this is what happens when you live on a farm.  ’
‘  what wide generalization are you gonna make about people on farms right now?  ’
‘  i just think you gotta read some– some culture, eh, watch some two and a half men, i don’t care. just connect to popular media and know what the world is thinking, otherwise you go nuts.  ’
‘  yeah, ‘cause nothing says sanity and civilization like a red robin resturant, right?  ’
‘  how much trouble could a family of farmers get into?  ’
‘  farmers and bears don’t mix. they don’t put bears on farms.  ’
‘  i imagine this is a little bit more than they bargained for when they were trying to find that pikachu.  ’
‘  that’s fucking terrifying.  ’
‘  you just lock your door. you’re in a car, drive away. that’s not that scary. and then, you know, if the doors don’t work and he starts breaking a window, then guess what? time to die. and that’s a bummer.  ’
‘  then guess what? time to die. and that’s a bummer.  ’
‘  what point does the fear come in? about when the life is draining out of my body.  ’
‘  oh yeah, excuse the public for wondering about your safety, sir.  ’
‘  this does make me realize i don’t give people the middle finger enough.  ’
‘  i guess i’ll just go fuck myself then.  ’
‘  i’m not gonna go find my kids if i’m trying to get off the grid. off the grid, no more kids.  ’
‘  alright, well… once again, we’ve solved nothing.  ’
‘  do you think you could become part of a shared delusion?  ’
‘  every time i’ve ever offered even a little bit of a delusional thought, you immediately shut it down.  ’
‘  no one thinks they’re susceptible to shared delusions and then it happens.  ’
‘  what if we’re in a shared delusion right now?  ’
‘  is this all in our mind?  ’
‘  it could be all in our mind. this could be the most elaborate delusion of all and we’re talking we’re talking about delusions which, in term, is actually a weird delusional loop.  ’

allura and lance are probably the slowest of my slowburn ships

i love the idea of lance’s crush fading, not away, but into something new that he doesn’t entirely recognize. at first it’s just a friendship. she’s not just this beautiful alien princess who fell into his arms, she’s allura, and he sees her and knows her and loves her. and she’s his friend. but she slowly becomes something else to him, not just his friend, and certainly not just his crush. he starts to fall in love with her, little by little, but he doesn’t notice it right away. it takes him a long time, but as he grows and she grows and they grow together it becomes apparent he has some feelings there, and one day at night staring up at the ceiling it just clicks… “holy shit, i’m in love with allura.”

allura doesn’t spend her time considering romance. friendship is so important to her, and she feels love in many forms for every member of her team, but she’s fighting a war, and finding a lover isn’t among her priorities. but she slowly starts to look at lance in this different light. and all the goofy and good and strange things about him start to touch her in a way she’s never quite felt before, and she craves closeness and comfort from him, she wants his company. and not a moment when he had flirted with her or put on this character had she ever once considered him romantically but when he looks at her with those open and genuine eyes, with that small, adoring smile, she feels that flutter in her heart that she couldn’t begin to explain.

and they become closer as friends, nearly inseparable, and only then do they really fall in love, completely out of their control, just drawn together piece by piece until they finally find themselves in each other’s arms, and by then, it just feels right.

As The Years Go By (Lin x Reader)

Prompt: “At new years on midnight for a single minute you possess your soulmate’s body.”

Words: 2707, I think.

Summary: The reader is Lin’s soulmate. They take their sweet time finding one another.

A/N: Soooo many line breaks!!!! (thanks to @diggs4life for the help)


You couldn’t wait.  Today was the day.  Well, tomorrow was. You were about to find out if you had a soulmate.  Maybe it was just a myth, but Grace had said she felt it last year. Only for a minute, but it had been enough to know that someone was out there. You wondered what it would be like to walk around in another person’s body.  Did they speak English? You had heard stories of people learning new languages to be able to locate their soulmates.  Grace entered her room and shut the door.  Should you find somewhere quiet to sit?  Were you building yourself up for nothing?

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Shifting Friends

Summary: You’re on and off again with Sam, but the elder Winchester always butts heads with you. What happens when you’ve finally had enough?
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Shapeshifter!Reader, Dean Winchester
Word Count: 1597
Warnings: Language, sexual situation, bit of angst, fighting, sassy reader
A/N: After watching the most recent episode, I had this dream. I write down all my dreams and sometimes they turn into fanfics, like this one. Based on the several episodes we’ve had with shapeshifters, I’ve deduced what I believe happens when they shed their skin. I know it might not be accurate, but it’s personal interpretation. Beta’d by the lovely @saxxxology!

Originally posted by sooper-dee-dooper-natural

“Really, Y/N?! In the bathroom?” Dean’s voice echoed through the halls of the bunker, reaching you and Sam in the library.

You let out a heavy sigh and locked eyes with Sam. “Why can’t Dean be more like you, baby? It never bothers you.”

Sam shrugged and flipped the top of his laptop closed. “I know your schedule, so I avoid the communal bathroom, skip a shower, and use the one in my room.”

“It’s only once a week. Maybe I should just start going outside when it happens,” you said, wrinkling your nose in thought.

“As considerate as that might be, a pile of shifter skin near an abandoned water treatment plant might raise some questions.” Sam sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “The last thing we need is people poking around because someone is skinning people and they end up finding the bunker.”

You were about to reply when a very stern-faced and angry Dean stormed up the stairs to the library. You had this argument at least once a week with the eldest Winchester, and it was getting pretty old since you’ve been living with the Winchesters for over a month now. You and Sam had a purely physical relationship that started less than a week after you moved in, much to Dean’s displeasure.

“You need to do that shit somewhere else, Y/N. I stepped in it!” Dean shuddered in repulsion at the memory. “Do you know how disgusting it is? It felt like I was walking on soggy tofu covered in lube.”

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*girl and boy idol interact normally*

boy group stans: lmao it’s not like i’m mad or something :) i mean he can do what he wants i do not care :) i really do not :) but like :) idk why she tries so hard, who even asked her to get close to him lmao :) anyways i’m not bitter or something holy shit please but like, why did she approach him. anyways i’m chill it’s not like i hate girls or something :) he’s gonna date me one day anyways :) idk think of the dating rumors lmao i’d hate that, she can stay away :) what! i really care about her! it’s not like i secretly plan to trash her on the internet. lmao :)

a concept: michael composing music

okay so what if he has a ton of programs and stuff and he uses them to make really cool video game-style music? and he’s also a really good singer, so he sometimes does covers of songs and stuff and maybe even writes his own stuff sometimes. and he’s semi-famous on soundcloud and youtube.

and then he’s out one day with jeremy and he gets recognized by a fan and jeremy’s just like “what’s going on?? who is this?? why do i not know about this secret life you have??” and so they spend the rest of the day chilling in jeremy’s basement listening to michael’s music and jeremy is just blown away cause holy shit his boyfriend is so talented???

michael’s made a bunch of love songs that were inspired by jeremy and they’re really sweet and soft and adorable and so one of them comes on and michael just kinda like. lowkey dies. and he’s rlly flustered and embarrassed and hides his face in his hoodie but jeremy’s grinning brighter than the fucking sun and he tackles michael and kisses him and they’re just really in love and i am weak

and later michael’s trying to convince jeremy to do a duet with him on his channel because jeremy’s voice is so?? pretty?? but jeremy is convinced that he would mess it up somehow or michael’s fans wouldn’t like him and anyways his voice isn’t that great, it would just be better if he didn’t… but michael convinces him eventually and they do a cover of mario kart love song by sam hart and yeah it’s a little cheesy but they just look so in love while they’re singing it and it goes viral.

and they start up a joint gaming channel and everyone loves them because they’re so nerdy and adorable and in love

@pluvibirb

HBCJZDMK ok so like can I talk about Tsubomi real quick

Like can you imagine Tsubomi never once getting a crush on a male classmate and she and everyone else chalks it up to having “”“”“"high standards”“”“”“”

She’s walking home one day and sees Tome rooting through the garbage looking for a book she saw someone throw away and she pulls it out like “hAH” and she’s got gum stuck to her sleeve and Tsubomis like holy SHIT 😳😳

anonymous asked:

prompt: the party is slowly drifting away, not from each other, but from Will. And Will can tell bc he's not dumb. He can tell that the tension in the air becomes thick when he walks in on them talking bc the Party is always nervous they'll say something bc Will is 'fragile' He noticed that El has kind of taken his spot as his player in D&D. He's just so lonely. But one day when they do ask him to hang out he's says no bc Richie has already asked him to do something and they all low key fight.

this is gonna be a heartbreaker but lets make this kickass, shall we~?

send in some prompts, bbs! 


It started out as small things.

Sorry, Will. Tonight’s no good. U-uh, mom wants me to clean up my room and such.”

“I’m grounded.”

“I don’t feel well.”

Will had never questioned any of it, instead deciding to give a kind smile and wish the best for his friends. Because that’s all he wanted in the end for them; nothing but the very best.

And so he remained happy and optimistic, knowing that there was always another time; knowing that his friends were still there and that it would be okay.

Except… it wouldn’t be.

Not really.

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Series: Soulmate au bts and svt
Member: Hoshi (svt)
Prompt: There’s a countdown on your wrist telling you how far away your soulmate is at all times
Genre: Fluff
Find the tag for this series here: x  

  • When you were growing up, you always thought your soulmate connection was hella cool
  • Like on the playground when the kids who were all born with theirs (like you) or got them at a young age were showing off, you would run forward and then back over and over to demonstrate it 
  • And all the kids would be like “WOOOAH COOOOL” cause yanno y’all are five and it would make you feel SO smug
  • Like hell yeah you were cool you had a soulmate marker on your wrist!! And it changed all the time!!
  • Now growing up you didn’t live in South Korea,,, 
  • Your parents had met there and worked there for a while but then when they got married, they got job offers in another country (your choice reader pick a fave country)
  • So when you got older and understood the whole concept of measuring distance, it was a little disheartening to find out they were so far away 
  • But after some help from your fifth grade teacher, you were able to track down which country they lived in 
  • From then on, you pictured yourself moving to Seoul 
  • You ran home that day and printed out as many pictures as you could find and had your parents help you hang them up on a clothesline to string around your room 
  • You knew a small amount of Korean from little things your parents had taught you, but after you found out that’s where your soulmate was, you had them teach you a little bit more everyday 
  • You went from bragging about how cool your connection look to talking passionately about moving to Korea to find your soulmate as soon as you could 
  • Lots of people didn’t understand why you would move there until you explained your connection, and then lots of people found your determination admirable
  • As you got older and did more research, you found yourself realizing that your soulmate wasn’t the only reason you wanted to move there
  • Korea was actually a pretty amazing place,,, there was so much to see there and do and lots of food to try,,, plus the language was beautiful and they had some cool as hell music?? And the TV shows and movies???
  • So while you were super excited to meet your soulmate,, you were pretty excited to just go live in the country itself too 
  • You went through high school working your ass off to reach fluency in Korean and get good grades so you could make your transition to Seoul as smooth as possible 
  • When you turned 18 and were accepted into a college over in Korea, you were overjoyed to say the least
  • You threw a celebration with your closest friends and they held your hand as you got a compass tattoo right under your counter 
  • You knew it was probably a bit impulsive and cheesy,, but somehow it seemed fitting and you hoped that your soulmate would appreciate it whenever the two of you met
  • You guys spent the rest of the celebration crashed in your living room, talking excitedly about what was to come once your school year in Seoul began 
  • Of course you were sad to leave your friends behind,, but you knew that this didn’t mean it had to be the end of your friendship, and that there was a future ahead of you that you were looking forward to 
  • Somewhere in Korea, there was a person on the other half of your connection
  • That person on your other half was Kwon Soonyoung, a member of the rookie idol group Seventeen 
  • He had also researched where you lived when he was in school and honestly,,, it was a bit disappointing for him
  • Cause he always knew that he wanted to stay in Korea and dance,,, and the dancing dream eventually changed to his idol dream,,,
  • But his mother assured him growing up that soulmates were bound by fate and that you two were destined to meet one day, so he didn’t have to worry so much,,
  • Which helped him a lot and after he debuted, he hoped that he would be able to find you while on tour or something 
  • One morning, not long after his debut, he woke up to see the numbers on his rapidly going down and he just starts SCREAMING
  • And it’s early as fuck so all the members wake up like holy shit who’s murdering Soonyoung–
  • But he just yells loud gibberish as he points at his wrist and everyone’s like OHHHH SHIT SON
  • It was literally all him and his members could talk about all day long as you flew to Korea, the number finally settled on 85 miles away, occasionally dipping up or down but staying pretty stagnant as you settled into your new apartment 
  • Moving was a pretty stressful thing as it was, even more so since you were moving to a whole new country 
  • Plus you weren’t just moving, you were starting college too and again,, it was in a whole new country
  • As eager as you were to meet your soulmate, well…
  • You were pretty happy to just be living in Seoul at the moment???
  • Like you wanted to meet your other half yes but like,,, you were having a lot of fun just living in Korea 
  • Your classes were super interesting and you were making lots of new friends and experiencing all these new things with them,, 
  • Plus you got a part time job as well!! And your boss was like this sweet as hell old lady who always sent you home with food bless her 
  • Your friends were introducing you to new foods and new music and you were visiting lots of places outside Seoul during your vacations 
  • You spent the first couple years in Korea just enjoying yourself,, yes you got excited whenever your number started to dip to indicate little distance between you and Hoshi but you weren’t making your soulmate your number one priority
  • It would happen when it happened, you had faith in that fact
  • You wound up meeting Soonie shortly after your second year in Korea had begun
  • You and two of your friends had snagged some concert and high touch tickets for Seventeen and you guys were HYPE because they were one of your favorite groups??? And not only were you guys gonna watch them perform but you were gonna be able to see them face to face and get your albums signed??? AND HOLD THEIR HANDS???
  • You were especially excited to see your bias,,, who was highkey Hoshi lol it was meant to be 
  • Needless to say, you were counting down the days the minute you got the tickets 
  • When you guys got to the concert venue, you instinctively glanced down at your counter
  • Only to have your heart skip a beat as you noticed the numbers were now very, very low
  • You were like HOLY SHIT GUYS MY SOULMATE’S A CARAT AND THEY’RE HERE RIGHT NOW 
  • After freaking out for a bit, you all agreed you would go track them down after the concert if you had time before the high-touch 
  • One of your friends jokingly said “hey what if it was one of the members” and you were like “DON’T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT”
  • You fully expected it to be a fellow fan like what were the odds of it being a member of Seventeen??
  • In your case very high lmao but you didn’t know that
  • You had a ton of fun during the concert tho!!! Kpop concerts are always such a blast and you and you friends were jumping around and singing the lyrics as loud as you could and just screaming because concert mentality means you gotta be noisy as hell
  • Once the concert was over though,,, you noticed that your counter was going down even more as you went to high touch
  • Hoshi was so busy with the concert and then hurrying to clean up a bit and get to the tables with the other members that he wasn’t even paying attention to his counter
  • It wasn’t until he was settled in at the table and reaching for his water that he noticed his counter was,,, very low
  • He immediately grabbed Josh’s arm next to him and was like omg BRO they’re HERE
  • Josh had to calm him down and remind him that he was around fans and cameras and he had to stay Cool 
  • Hoshi was just “okay I’m good I’m chill it’s all cool, cool cool cool cool cool” but his leg was bouncing under the table and he was, in fact, far from calm
  • The closer you got to the table, the more you both could feel your hearts hammering in your chest 
  • You friends were whispering to you excitedly, not wanting other fans to hear as you three were faced with the very real possibility that your soulmate was one of the boys signing albums,,, or maybe one of the managers or a fan,,, you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself lmao
  • You knew a couple of them had counters on their wrists,, including Hoshi,,, and the thought made your stomach do flips 
  • A couple of the members saw your wrist and sent rather knowing glances to dancer towards the end of the table,, and a couple of the managers raised their eyebrows at you,,, which only made you more nervous
  • When you got to Joshua, you were stubbornly not looking over at Soonyoung, nerves coiling tightly in your stomach as the boy in front of you winked and whispered “Good luck”
  • When you finally scooted over and met Soonyoung’s gaze, you were more than shocked to see his eyes were red and glassy as he looked at you 
  • The next few moments happened so fast, you and him looking at each other’s wrists that were burning almost furiously, his inevitable freak out as all his emotions finally bubbled to the surface, the managers tapping on your shoulder and leading you to a backroom, the loud commotion from the fans as you were led away, the clicks of camera shutters,,, 
  • You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you had been escorted to a dressing room and sat down on a couch and you finally released it
  • One lady manager very kindly told you that your soulmate would be there momentarily and you just nodded, a little numb and definitely stunned about how quickly everything had just occurred
  • Seriously,,, it felt like you had been standing in front of Jisoo like two seconds ago and now you were in a dressing room, about to formally meet your soulmate, aka the performance unit leader of Seventeen like what,,, the hell,,,,,
  • You only had a few minutes to yourself before you heard a soft knock that snapped you out of your thoughts
  • You called for the person on the other side of the door to come in and Hoshi hesitantly stepped inside, shutting the door behind him
  • His cheeks were red and his eyes were still a bit teary, his hair ruffled a little bit as he looked down at the ground
  • And you couldn’t help but go silent because even when he looked kinda like a mess, you still found him breathtaking 
  • You honestly couldn’t believe that you were destined to spend your life with the boy in front of you,,, your whole body was tingling as your heart pounded loudly in your ears at the very thought of it
  • You were just,,, speechless,,, but you didn’t know your silence was making Hoshi nervous
  • “Sorry-!” he blurted suddenly, meeting your eyes and trying to ignore the affection that slammed him in the chest “I didn’t mean to cry- or make a scene like that- it’s just that uh-” he bit his lip, stepping forward cautiously
  • You took two steps forward to meet him and take his hand, squeezing his fingers between your own gently to encourage him, and he swore he felt a fresh batch of tears well up in his eyes at the sensation
  • “I’m just so happy to have finally met you” he whispered, and you could practically feel the sincerity in his voice, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you choked up as well
  • “Me too,” you whispered, the two of you shutting your eyes as you leaned your foreheads against each other, just bathing in the moment 
  • You and Soonyoung started officially dating not long after you met 
  • A relationship with him came so easily and it was just comfortable and a crapload of fun 
  • When you showed him you got a compass themed tattoo, he thought it was an AMAZING idea, and after a lot of begging to his managers, he wound up getting one of his own
  • Of course the fans know that he found you, but he likes to keep his relationship with you somewhat private
  • The staff knows you well, as do the boys, because it’s necessary but other than that, he’s not super public about his relationship with you 
  • He’ll mention you in interviews and answer questions about you if they’re not too personal and has posted a photo of the two of you like. Once. but he likes keeping you to himself cause you’re so special to him??
  • Likes to wrap his arm around your waist a lot whenever you two are together, he thinks that how he can keep you the closest
  • You always tell him about how your parents met and how you were nearly obsessed with the idea of moving to Seoul so you could find him growing up
  • And he always cups your cheeks and coos that you’re just the cutest possible thing
  • You always bring him snacks and drinks when he’s up SUPER late practicing, which is more often than you’d like because you want the boy to rest
  • But he always gets so happy to see you and wraps you up in a big sweaty hug and shouts that he has the BEST soulmate ever
  • You tease him over the fact that he cried when you guys first met sometimes and he’s like “sdfhehsjehf shut up,,, plus don’t pretend you didn’t cry a little bit too”
  • And you’re like “Kwon Soonyoung did you just expose me?”
  • The fans can see that since he met you he’s become an even happier person,,, plus you always remind him to rest and cheer him on so he seems like he’s becoming an even more talented performer on top of that,,
  • You guys are just the cutest soulmate duo okay,,,

peter parker who procrastinates dealing with his sexuality until he’s in his late twenties early thirties because he never sat down and went hey i think men are hot too well shit i must be not straight, bc bitch he has people to save and places to be, it just kept getting pushed back on the list of things to do

until wade starts hitting on him and peter likes it??? he’s having a meltdown in the middle of battle because he’s never had to question his sexuality before and what does this mean for peter parker, what does he want to do with this new information???

so peter kind of stumbles along as he tries to figure out this being gay thing, and he decides he’s not gay because he still has a crush on his best friend and the majority of his celebrities i would give my soul to have sex with list are women, but he’s not straight

so peter runs with it and tries dating dudes and he realizes that regardless of gender, he’s going to end up alone because he is literally the worst person to date, he’s never there, commitment terrifies him, and he can’t tell them about spiderman, and as long as he’s spiderman they will be in danger too

so civilians are out, peter will just end up alone with his robotic ai cat he’ll invent after college, and holy shit so much of tony stark’s life makes sense now

except there’s somebody that just never fucking goes away, and peter still likes him, and one day peter gives in and asks wade out because at this point, really it’d be stupid not to give it a chance

similar asks get grouped together c:

  • midoriya is so ticklish. oh my god
    • he’s buff but is he tough? nah he can’t handle being tickled.
    • it’s super cute he’s really giggly and it’s too adorable. 10/10
  • todoroki and iida are the type of people who squeak when someone pokes them in the side
    • they bat people’s hands away and try to fight (”fight”) them but they just can’t hold in their laughter
  • bakugou can and absolutely will murder you if you touch him
    • the only ppl who’ve ever tickled him and gotten away with it are his parents. 
      • deku got punched in the face for his attempt when they were kids 
      • none of his lackeys ever dared to try
    • if u manage to tickle him and see his amazing pure beautiful laugh: 1) good job dude holy shit and 2) run for your fucking life
      • this is what happens to kirishima one day. 
        • he manages to successfully escape and therefore becomes the third person on bakugou’s List Of People Who’ve Tickled Me And Gotten Away With It
  • if u tickle uraraka she’ll either accidentally make you float or accidentally kick you in the face. either way you’ll be harmed in the end. 
    • her laugh’s cute tho
  • kirishima is rlly ticklish but he’s avoided being tickled for a really long time bc he just activates his quirk whenever someone tries
    • one day bakugou just blasts him until his quirk weakens enough so that he has no barriers and then tickles him as revenge
      • kirishima’s laughing/wheezing > angels singing
      • bakugou –> deadkugou
  • kaminari is the type who panics/screams when people try to tickle him
    • he’s really really really ticklish y’all it’s adorable
    • he absolutely hates it bc he finds it embarrassing when he becomes a mess and discharges a lot of electricity.
      • + his face becomes all red and splotchy from crying and spasming and hiccuping uncontrollably due to the laughter
      • it’s super cute 
Gold

Relationship: Lance Tucker x Reader

“Can you do a Lance x Reader one shot ? With some bow and arrow (it´s where your leg goes up so that your foot is kinda beside your head) sex pleasseeee !!” (x)

A/N: Re-upload. I can’t figure what’s annoying me about this fic so I just need it posted and done with. Sorry about the shitty writing and the fact that nothing happens. Ugh. Sorry to the anon that requested this, the smut is coming in the second part.

Warnings: Language, alcohol? Things are getting heated.

Words: 2566

Originally posted by blurredmelancholy

It was like suddenly waking up from a bad dream; realising you were at a loud club in this dress with a drink in your hand. A very bad dream. An obnoxiously loud and sparkly bad dream.

I’m losing my edge you think.

Somehow your two best friends had managed to drag you to a bar, saying you “need to go somewhere that isn’t your apartment or work”. And letting them stay while you got ready was a bad idea seeing as they made you get changed 3 times before taking things in to their own hands and pulling out the dress from the back of your wardrobe.

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