AND HE WAVED TO ME I HURT

Day 01
I was born with the golden sun in my heart and the waves of the ocean between my ribs. My father was not gentle nor kind but he brought me to a garden, something rare and beautiful. There lived someone else already. His name was Adam and when he smiled, the sun was put to shame. I was in love before I realized what love even is.

Day 04
Adam gave me flowers and told me how beautiful I am. He kissed my cheeks and kept me warm at night.

Day 05
Adam put a hand between my legs and touched me. It felt good at first, but then it hurt. Adam didn’t stop.

Day 06
I wanted to tell my father, but I felt dirty and spent. That night I tasted tears for the first time. It’s a cruel taste.

Day 38
I told my father about what Adam did. He said ‘You were made to serve him. He is made in my own image. There is nothing wrong in what Adam did. You wanted it, don’t you?’ No I didn’t. But my father didn’t even listen to me.

Day 42
Adam does it all the time. The touching. Sometimes he pushes me down and takes greedily what he wants. I close my eyes and let it happen. I was born to serve him after all.

Day 103
I listened to the way my name sounds in Adam’s mouth. Servant. Slave. Brainless. Stupid. I am neither of these things.

Day 104
I will prove him wrong.

Day 301
I was not born to serve anyone than myself.

Day 332
My father made men in his own image. But he included his cruelty in me. His rage. The taste of dirt and blood behind my teeth. God is not on my lips anymore. I burn myself to the ground and rise shaking outside the garden.

Day 895
All the blood has buried my name.

- entries out of Lilith’s Diary | r.m

I’ve only fallen in love once.
I knew everything about him; I studied his skin, I knew the colour shades of his eyes by heart, I knew how to make him smile when he was sad, I knew how to make him cry, I knew what pleased him.
I loved him so much.
It was suppose to be him.
He was the one.
I loved him more than I loved myself, and I knew him better than I knew myself. He was my other half, my soul mate, my lover.
He was my happiness.
The day he left, was when my happiness left as well.
My heart sank to the floor and I couldn’t feel a thing. I was numb for as long as I can remember.
Waves of sadness and anger would come by season,
I was mostly angry at myself for not leaving before he left me. I should’ve hurt him.
The sadness ate me up as a whole: I loved him so much I wanted to kill myself.
Though he never believed how much I loved him. He always doubted it.
To this day I get sick in my stomach thinking about him. I still remember his voice, I still remember his laugh, I still remember his lips.
No matter how hard I try, I will never forget him.
I got fucked up so bad that love seems like a blurry memory. I don’t know how to do it anymore, because I gave in, I did my part, I gave in all I had, I put it all on the table, and he pushed it back with all the force he had, but it was too much for me to carry with my own hands, it all fell to the floor.
It was too much.
Too fast.
—  He told me that he still loved me, but he never wanted to see me again

i love servant of two masters because if merlin really wanted to kill arthur he could have just waved his hand and bam - dead. like, he’s killed so many people that way. but he goes through all these convoluted schemes to assassinate arthur instead. and that just tells me that the real merlin was in there fighting. even possessed, merlin would never let anyone or anything - even himself - hurt arthur

aekyon  asked:

How would they react to being hit on while already being in a relationship?

2P!America: “…Hate to sound like a cunt but yooooo I’m off the market, babe!”

2P!China: “Wait, are you hitting on me?” After it clicked, he laughed and playfully waved it off with his hand. “Sorry sweetums, I have a girlfriend!”

2P!England: “Aah, th-thank you…! I suppose I… err well, there’s just this little…” He’d have a hard time pointing out he’s taken, because he wouldn’t want to come off as rude or hurt the person’s feelings.

2P!France: “Uh, look. I’m dating someone and I don’t want to screw it up already. So could you just…” Awkwardly, he’d try to send the other person away before his lover could notice.

2P!Russia: “I apologize for any trouble, but I’m in a relationship.”

2P!Italy: He’d smile charmingly and say, “That’s sweet of you, but I’m with someone…”

2P!Germany: “Whoa, slow down there, tiger.” He winked and added, “I have a girlfriend, you know.”

2P!Japan: “What a coincidence, my fiancée says that all the time…” Cleverly, he’d find a way to work his relationship status into the conversation.

2P!Canada: “Uhhh, here’s the thing. I’m kind of going out with someone, so…” Basically, he’d trail off and expect the person to handle it from there.

2P!Romano: “Awwwh look at you, how adorable! I appreciate the interest, but I’m taken… Sorry, boo.” Affectionately, he’d pat the person’s shoulder to show them it’s not a big deal and to just forget about it.

2P!Austria: He chuckled, “Ahh, you have good taste. However… you see, I am loyal to someone else–” He’d probably flash his engagement ring at this point, “Still, I wish you the best of luck, sweetheart.~”

2P!Prussia: Honestly, he’s pretty oblivious so it’d be hard for him to notice someone’s flirting with him unless they straight-up said it. “Wait… you like me?! I mean… I’m so sorry, but I can’t return your feelings… I’m happily married…”

It repulses me, how everytime I look into his eyes, I think of the deep blue waves in yours. It sickens me, how everytime he holds me, I remember the touch of your skin, the feeling of yours on mine. It hurts me, how you left, and I’m with someone that’s not you.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #915

“I love him because he’s my compass.” She said.

“What do you mean he’s your compass?” He asked.

“Well, for someone like me, after everything I’ve been through.. it’s easy to get caught up in the dark stuff. It’s easy to get lost in all the pain of the past and assume the worst of everyone.

It’s easy to assume that everyone wants to  hurt me and that everyone will hurt me. It’s easy to allow the waves of sadness and depression over power me but then I look at him, I think about him and it reminds me that there are good people in this world.

It’s like.. no matter how sad I get.. or how scared.. or how many times I try to run away, he always guides me back to a happier place, a  brighter place, a place I never thought existed without him. He always leads me back home, despite how lost I may get at times, he’s my compass.” She admitted. 

“Who would have ever thought that my compass would have stars for eyes and a devilish smile.” She said with a smile on her face.

— 

~Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #160

02/21/2015

8:43 pm

Trust God, Keep Going.

Two things God told me today:

“you’re under attack because you’re doing something right.”

and 

“I promise you child, I will get you through this.”

If you feel like you’re being spiritually attacked or if people have said things that hurt you, or if you feel like you can’t make it, understand that God will get you through the toughest circumstances, because He is God. He’s tougher than the storm, and not only that, but he controls the wind and the waves, and everything else in this universe. Hold on, trust God, and have hope that you’ll be on the other side one day and you’ll see how big the storm really was compared to God.

no fuckboy zone // middle fingers up, put them high. wave it in his face, tell that fuckboy bye

don’t hurt yourself + monologue - beyonce // no - meghan trainor // he ain’t wit me now (tho) - richgirl // i’m out - ciara ft. nicki minaj // lookin ass - nicki minaj // liar liar - girlicious ft. flo rida // let it go - keyshia cole ft. missy elliot & lil’ kim // i don’t need a man - pussycat dolls // 1 thing - amerie // comeback - ella eyre // confident - demi lovato // me too - meghan trainor // vroom vroom - charli xcx // vanity - christina aguilera // trophy - charli xcx // i’m dat chick - kelly rowland // you’re such a - hailee steinfeld // girls are always right - grl // grown - little mix // up out my face - mariah carey ft. nick minaj // needed me -rihanna // sorry + monologue -beyonce //

{LISTEN

“Water? Seriously?”

“You do realize you’re mocking me by surrounding yourself with my own element, the one that trapped me, right?

“Sure, but I thought….”

“Being pushed too much… you know that’s how Malachite happened, right? Jasper pushed me to my limits and well… she didn’t quite like what happened after. Steven knows that I’m willing to sacrifice myself to lash out at the people who hurt me, and yet here he is forcing me to like you, after everything you’ve done to me. A situation like that… it could make someone like me… snap. In a wave of anger and self destruction.”

“And do trust me Peridot. A wave is all it would take to break you.”

“….”

“Duly noted.”

Sam Wilkinson - Loving girlfriend

MASTERLIST

I read his tweets all over and over again with my lips pressed together into a thin line. I furrowed my eyebrows as I scrolled down and read the reactions. Everyone was going crazy since Sam kind of asked Andrea Russett out, which would have been a cute gesture of him… if I wasn’t his girlfriend.

I know that we agreed on keeping it a secret, but that didn’t mean he could act like a single guy. It was disrespectful and I was hurt that he flirted with another girl on Twitter, where everyone could see it.

I locked my phone as I heard his car pull over in front of the house. Sam jumped out of the car and then waved at the driver as he walked up to the front door. Opening the door he immediately leaned closer to kiss me, but I turned away.

“Woah, what’s up baby?” he asked walking inside. I shut the door behind him and walked back to the kitchen not even caring if he followed me. But of course he did. He sat down next to me looking at me with furrowed eyebrows. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Ask the girl you asked out on Twitter,” I calmly said as I kept my eyes focused on my phone’s screen.

“What? That was just a joke, Andrea knows that I wouldn’t ask her out for real.”

“It may be a joke for you and her, but no one else thinks the same.”

“Come on, you know that I didn’t mean it.” He tried to grab my hand, but I pulled them away so he couldn’t reach me.

“Sam, you know how rude it was? I know that we are not public but it feels awful to see you flirt with other girls.” I stared at him as I felt my anger getting to me, even though I promised myself I would stay cool. I didn’t want to bitch about it, but it really hurt.

“Baby, I’m sorry, now I feel bad, okay?”

“Now? I don’t know what hurts more. The fact that my boyfriend asked someone else out or that he didn’t even think that it was a bad thing to do. I think you should go now.”

“Are you telling me to leave?” he asked with wide eyes.

“I assume yes. Think about how you should act when you are not single.”

I didn’t like fighting with Sammy, but this time he hurt me big time and the fact that he didn’t even realize was even worse. I could tell that he wanted to say something but then just sighed and standing up he left. I didn’t even know what I with sending him away, but I just didn’t want to hear his excuses.

I spent the evening with trying to get my mind away from Sam and what was going on on Twitter. Sam didn’t text or call me, which was also a bit hurtful, I thought he would fight a bit harder. I took a relaxing bath and I was ready to go bed, I jumped under my covers and I thought I would quickly check my social media accounts when I saw that I was tagged on a photo on Instagram. By Sammy.

I quickly opened the app and when the photo appeared on the screen I was shocked. It was a photo of us, we took it a few weeks ago, when I was sleeping over at his place. We were lying in his bed with our heads turned to each other, I had my eyes closed, but my smile was so wide. Sammy was looking at me grinning as my messy hair was everywhere around my head on the pillow.

It was one of my favourite photos of us and scrolling down I saw the caption:

“Hey guys, I’m here to make a kind of announcement. I love this girl on the photo. She is my girlfriend and I want you to know that we are dating. When I was fooling around with Andrea on Twitter earlier I didn’t mean it, because I have a loving girlfriend who I’m thankful for and I adore her more than anything. I love Andrea, but we are only friends. This girl is the only one in my life right now. I’m happy with her.”

I read it all over and over again feeling my heart starting to beat faster and faster, then I saw all the positive comments about us and how his fans shipped us. My grin was wider than ever and then he was calling me.

“You are so crazy,” I giggled answering the call.

“I’m sorry for being a dick earlier. It won’t happen again, okay?”

“Okay,” I sighed smiling to myself.

“Am I welcomed at your place?”

“Of course you are, silly.”

“Good, because I’ll be there in five.”

“Beauty and the Beast was me and my ex boyfriend’s movie. He was misunderstood with anger issues- but I always seemed to calm him. He ended up making a big mistake and I left. I’m with another guy now-he’s handsome, smart and all the girls swoon over him. He wants nothing more than to hurt him….I can’t help thinking of that scene in the movie where Gaston is about to kill the Beast, and there’s just this wave of sadness that fills the Beast’s eyes. I fell for Gaston when Beast needed me.”

So I was driving with my younger brother, who is in 4th grade, and he saw that I had a small Palestinian flag in the back seat. 

He asked me if he could wave it out the window, and I told him sure. It’s one of those really small hand-waving flags with the short pole attached, so it’s not obstructive in any way at all.

Anyways, just minutes later, he lets out a gasp and asks me, freaking out, “Oh my God did you see that man???” and I thought someone had gotten hurt, I say no and ask what he means

Apparently some shithead in the car next to us aggressively flipped off my freaking 9 year old brother for waving the Palestinian flag

And in our 15 minute car trip, that wasn’t the only encounter, as afterwards he’d say “another one”, “look! He did it too!”, about another 6 times or so.

When we got out of the car, he asked why they would do that, and the innocence behind that question was heartbreaking, as despite him living in Palestine and being subject to Israeli hatred, despite him living in the most conservative shithole in the US that blasts us with anti-Arab & anti-Muslim sentiment at every corner, he still was taken aback by what occurred.

Like what kind of freaking grown-ass adult thinks to flip off a 9 year old?

I flipped two of the guys off in return when I saw them, and in one case, he revved up and got behind my car and started tailgating, him driving a massive white pickup truck and me in a little Camry.

He just stuck as close to my ass as possible, with my younger brother freaking out and closing his window and constantly looking behind us, only to see the dude flip us off again.

After a few minutes of tailgating, he charged ahead of us and started slowing down in front of me, before eventually speeding off.

Like can you imagine what it would take to be that great of a shithead? To be that freaking hateful that you find yourself flipped off children and then aggressively tailgating and attempting to intimidate them?

Good lord these people need to be freaking sent to the sun

Exo reaction to getting hurt while helping their crush

This was a cute request with EXO ot12. I hope you like it. Feel free to request more reactions <3

I do not own these gifs.

-Admin Kat

Baekhyun: You couldn’t help but laugh as Baekhyun over reacted about the small cut on his finger. “It hurts so badly! Kiss it and make it better.” He joked as he waved his finger in front of your face.

Originally posted by wugalaxy

Chanyeol: He smiled brightly as you placed the Band-Aid on his finger. “It’s ok, it is just a small cut.” He would reassure you as he chuckled at how cute looked while freaking out over him hurting himself.

Originally posted by c-vitamin

Chen: This troll would tease you nonstop. “No, I refuse to help any further. You are clearly trying to kill me. Maybe you are a vampire and you want to suck my blood.”

Originally posted by strawberrykpoptarts

D.O.: Kyungsoo would be the calmest. He would blush the whole time as he watched you place the Band-Aid on his finger. He wouldn’t be able to say anything because of how embarrassed he is from hurting himself.

Originally posted by essentyeol

Kai: “Look at this! I am bleeding so much. You should pay be back for helping.” He would say over and over again as you cleaned his cut. He would not stop begging until you finally buy him food.

Originally posted by exoturnback

Kris: This cold boy would act as though nothing happened at all. You would insist on taking care of the cut, but he would shrug you off. “Band-Aids aren’t my style.”

Originally posted by taozia

Lay: “Are you okay? Did you get hurt at all? I’m fine, but are you?” He would ask while you wrap the Band-Aid around his finger. You would insist you are perfectly fine, but this angel would not rest until he is sure that you did not get hurt too.

Originally posted by an-nyeo

Luhan: Would refuse to let out a single tear. “Nah, I am fine. I’m a man after all, a small cute doesn’t hurt.” He would insist as you watched him get back to moving the shelf. The cut looked bad, but he was too stubborn to look like less of a man.

Originally posted by igot7shineeexolove

Sehun: “This is all your fault! I told you I didn’t want to help! Now my perfect body is ruined.” Sehun would complain the WHOLE time. He would be so sassy, but would secretly blush as you took care of his cut. But he would no longer help you. He would use his aegyo to get out of anymore work for the rest of the day.

Originally posted by fearless-hyun

Suho: Suho would freak out playfully. “Why do you want to see me get hurt?” He would tease as he made an ugly crying face.

Originally posted by bemineinseoul

Tao: The moment he saw the blood, he fainted. It took him a while to finally wake up, but once he does he will give you an angry glare. “You must hate me. Why would you let me get hurt?” He would complain, but would still help you finish the task.

Originally posted by zitaoa

Xiumin: “Kiss it!” He would yell at you as he shows you the cut. “But that’s not the only boo-boo I have.” He would tease after you kissed his finger. This flirty boy would be too much.

Originally posted by mminseok

Lu has a nightmare

“I dont love you anymore lucas.” You whispered. You stared into his oceanic eyes. They no longer held comfort but pain as you harshly glared up at his broken features. “Y/N i-i love you. Y-you promised me we’d stay together.” Luke desperately reached out for your hand as tears fogged his vision, tumbling down his pale cheeks in waves or hurt. Speaking through gritted teeth you cut him off, “shit happens Luke.” His lip quivered, “you know that.” You glared at him one last time before turning away. He didn’t know what to do, he was speachless. All of those times he had brought you flowers -wild ones, the kind you liked- just to see you smile. All those nights he spent in between your thighs proving his love for you meant nothing. The lazy mornings you would spend wrapped up in his larger frame didn’t even phase you. You just slipped away. He couldn’t accept that, needing to prove his affection for you even if you had forgortten it. Luke grabbed your wrist and spun you round to face him. His calloused fingers cupped your soft cheeks as he tried to shove all of his love into one passionate kiss. He tried. He did. But you refused and pushed him away, giving him one last look of disgust before leaving for good. His eyes shot open immediatly, tears running down his cheeks leaving wet trails. His hair stuck to his forehead as he desperately reached out for your sleeping figure. Your back was facing him. The moonlight that spilt from the window shudders draped over your body. His hand roughly but desperately latched onto your upper arm. Immediately he rolled you over, smashing his lips to yours and startling you awake. He made sure to pour all of his passion from his lips onto yours making sure that you knew you were loved. You were quite frightened by being awaken so abruptly but soon kissed back groggily. Luke pulled away cupping your face and sweeping the strands of loose hair out your eyes. Your messy bun, tired eyes, and nude face were absolutely beautiful to him even if you didn’t think so. “Lucas what was that for?“ you questioned clearly annoyed. It was in fact 3am after all. Even though he knew you were obviously irritated those 5 words sounded like heaven to him. He clung to you burying his face in the crook of your neck making sure to pepper kisses on you bare shoulder. “I had a nightmare princess. M'sorry for waking you baby girl.” He mumbled into your hair. “Hey lu it’s alright. I’m just tired that’s all.” He nodded, “I appreciate the kiss though.” You quietly giggled running your fingers through his tussled locks. His scruff tickled your neck before he lifted his head to place another kiss to your forehead. “I love you” he whispered “I love you to baby blue.” You cooed before flipping him over and curling up onto his stomach making sure he wouldn’t have another nightmare.

he looks at her and the moon shatters in the fragments of his eyes; ocean waves come pouring through the valleys and he’s knee-deep in denial and heartache and saltwater but there’s still a fire in his heart - still some hope left burning in the cradle of his ribs.

he tells me, “real love doesn’t hurt,” and i want to ask why he’s got those scars on his palms, then - why he’s got that smile stitched up around the corners so it won’t fall even when i can see avalanches breaking in his chest.

i ask him, “what do you see when you look at her?” and he whispers, hands gripping the steering wheel, white knuckles and black leather and sobs swallowed down a tense throat: “everything i want to become.”

real love doesn’t hurt, but there’s an ache in the hollow of his throat where the words he hasn’t said go to die, and every time he swallows them down i hear a funeral march beating its drums in my ears.

—  my boy has his heart in a coffin // (h.q)
So just because she didn’t work out, you can’t just come back to me. I’m better than that.” Tears filled her eyes but she wiped them away with a confidence she had recently discovered. He had his back facing her not daring to look her in the eyes.
“You wanna know why me and her didn’t work out? Because she wasn’t you. Every little thing reminded me of you. And I couldn’t live with that; it didn’t feel right…”
She begins to respond but he cuts her off.
“…and you know, I’m aware that I hurt you and that it’s too late for us but” his voice wavers. And a bitter silence fills the room. He turns around and for the first time since they started the conversation, their eyes meet in a roaring wave of passion. “But it took me so long to finally realize that your lips aren’t mine to kiss. And your hands aren’t mine to hold. And your love is not mine to have.
—  @ixnpitt
#132: goodbyes (at the airport)

Mark: He hates them as much as you, but he keeps a straight face, trying not to show any emotion, knowing that if he didn’t then it just might hurt you both more. “Okay,” you say, “I’ll talk to you later,” you add, smiling weakly, and he does the same, nodding without saying a word. He touches your cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. “Love you,” he mumbles before pulling you in for one last hug. You wave to him as he finally walks off, and then he looks down trying not to look back, because if he did, he might not get on the plane at all. 

Jr: He just hugs you, shushing all your sniffling. “Don’t cry,” he says, “It won’t do anything. I still have to go,” he says jokingly, but you just hold onto him and hit him gently in the back. You push him off of you to look at him, trying to smile. “You’re the worst,” you say, laughing through your tears. He wipes a tear from your eye with his thumb, and then you see one rolling down his cheeks too. “Don’t cry,” you say, and you both laugh as you wipe his away, too. 

JB: He tells you everything he’ll do after he lands, trying to reassure you things will be okay. “I’ll call you when I land,” he says, “And then we can video chat once I’m at the hotel, and I’ll text you when I wake up, okay?” You laugh, swinging his hand back and forth as he smiles at you. “Okay, okay,” you reply, laughing, “But you don’t have to.” He looks at you with a confused look. “You’ll be busy,” you say, “Just have fun. Work hard. Stay safe,” you say, stopping to look at him. His eyes fall, looking at you. “I love you,” is all he says. 

Jackson: He tries to make you both laugh, teasing the rest of the boys and then you, making jokes and funny faces to pass the time before they were finally called up. “Go ahead,” he says to the boys, and they nod, lining up to board without him. “Look,” Jackson says, suddenly looking serious. He takes both your hands into his and then hesitates. “Look,” he says again, “I love you. A lot. And— I’m sorry.” His sincere eyes stare into yours as you nod, a tear forming in your eyes. “I love you, too,” you say. 

BamBam: He doesn’t say much to you, but holds onto your hand tightly, dragging you around with him around the airport until he waits until the last possible second to let go of you. “It’s okay,” you say when he finally has to leave. He looks at you with apologetic eyes, then away so you don’t see how much it’s hurting him, but you know. “Call me later, okay?” you say, “I love you.” And then you try and walk away, but he just pulls you back, not letting go of your hand.  

Youngjae: He’s just as sad as you are, but you try and make him smile even though he’s moping around. “Ah, you’re just making me miss you more,” he says, looking up, and you know he’s trying to hold back tears. You hold onto his hand, looking at him and making another funny face, making him laugh and throwing his head back. “I’ll miss you,” he says, and you nod, squeezing his hand. “Me, too.” 

Yugyeom: He’s quiet, just hugging you at the gate, patting your back and kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” he says, and you look up from his chest, smiling at him. “Don’t be,” you say, “I’m proud of you.” And he smiles, too, trying not to cry, but you hear the breaking in his voice. “Okay,” he says, “This is it.” And he pats you one more time as he lets go and starts walking away, but he turns around, coming back for one more hug. 

CHOOSE

Dolan Twins X READER

desc: both twins have unresolved feelings for you

photo creds: pinepizzalove

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Your feet slapped against the burning road as you skipped quickly down to the white sand. You took a seat on the bottom stair reaching the sand, and propped your sore feet up. They were scratched and burnt pink from running to the beach barefoot, but it was worth it. You felt the stair shift slightly on your right as somebody took a seat beside you.

“You hurting?” Grayson asked.

You dragged your eyes up to the rolling aqua waves.

“Mm, but it was worth it.”

“Pfft, just so you could beat me here?” Grayson scoffed.

“Exactly,” you smirked, looking over the pearly foam.

“You get used to it eventually,” he replied.

“Well yeah, but unlike you and Ethan, I’m not a jungle child who spent my childhood years climbing trees and, well, running on hot road,” you smiled.

“By the way, where’s E?” you remembered suddenly.

“Oh,” Grayson cleared his throat, “Uh, he’ll be here in a few.”

You sighed and drew patterns in the sand with your toes, “Kay.”

There was a small gathering on the beach that night, which meant new people and social interaction, and you only agreed to come because your two best friends, Ethan and Grayson, would accompany you. People were just starting to light the bonfire as the golden sun began to sink in the sky.

“Come on,” Grayson smiled and stood to move towards the crowd, “Let’s go.”

He brought himself up and blocked out the sun, his outstretched arm coming into view. You took his hand gratefully, and he easily lifted you straight into his arms.

You knocked against his chest from the force, “Oof.”

Grayson’s laugh rippled through his chest, and you could feel the little vibrations through his tee.

“Sorry, (Y/N),” he snorted.

You shook your head with a smile and took his hand as you made your way over to the bonfire.

The amber flames created a halo of warmth, and at once, people swarmed you and delved deep into conversation. You chatted politely, asking more questions than you answered, and holding onto Gray’s hand all the while. Your friendly conversation was interrupted abruptly when people began pulling from the bonfire and racing into the water.

“Why not?” you decided, flinging your clothes onto the sand and trotting towards the sparkling water in your bikini. You stuck your toe into the sea, slightly discouraged by the cold. You winced a little and started running headfirst into the freezing waves, but you’d barely taken a few steps when someone pushed you face-first into the water. You gasped and pulled yourself up, coughing up salt water, and shaking your soppy hair.

“GRAYSON DOLAN,” you spluttered, too shocked to even turn around.

You could hear him chortling delightfully from behind you.

“I. am. never. forgiving. you.”

“Noo, nooo,” Grayson winged, wrapping his arms snugly around you from behind. You tried to shake him off but his grip on you was too strong.

You blinked a few times, squinting from the sunlight, “You think you’re so funny.”

Grayson rested his cheek against yours, “Yeah actually, I do,” he grinned happily into your skin.

You wriggled and squirmed until you’d free yourself, and spun around to face Gray. His bronze skin glowed in the sun, his rippled chest covered in crystal water droplets, his smile irresistible.

“Ethan,” you stated.

“Um, wrong twin?” Grayson said, taken aback.

“No,” you smiled, “Ethan’s here!”

Grayson spun around, looking out to his brother. Ethan walked down the sand, his jaw set in annoyance. He looked at you, taking in a breath before signaling his head towards Grayson.

“Be right back,” Grayson said quietly and heading back.

You raised an eyebrow at Ethan, who flashed you a cheeky smile before promptly stripping down.

Ok, that didn’t answer any questions.

Grayson emerged from the water, and began speaking to his brother. Ethan said something while gesturing towards you, but noticing you were looking, turned away. Grayson shook his head and restlessly ran a hand through his hair. Ethan shoved Grayson and raised his voice, so you caught a few of his words.

“You know how I feel about her.”

Grayson turned to you, making eye contact, but you turned and pretended not to notice.

They went on like that for a few minutes before both joining you in the ocean.

“You guys okay?” you asked.

Ethan flanked your left side, Grayson your right, closing you between their warm bodies.

“Nothing,” Ethan sighed, “Grayson and I just seemed to have a disagreement . You see he conveniently forgot to invite me her-”

“Bro, you can stop,” Grayson warned, his voice low.

“Oookay,” Ethan flashed his brother a fake smile.

“Hey,” you said, looking between the both of them, “let’s just forget about it for now, kay?”

“Alright,” Ethan said, squeezing himself a little closer to you as he said it.

You headed towards a flat sandbar, where everyone was huddling. The group was going to have a chicken fight in the sea.

“Another pair?” Somebody asked.

“W-I’ll go” you volunteered shyly whilst tucking your stray hairs behind your ear.

“Great! Who do you want to go with!?”

“Me,” two voiced answered confidently in sync.

Grayson and Ethan stood behind you, both looking kindly upon you.

“I-I don’t want to pick,” you whispered nervously, flicking your eyes restlessly over them both.

“I’ll make it easy for you then,” E grinned cheekily and stepped forward, taking your palm gently between his.

You gave him a nod, reassured that you weren’t going in this with a stranger.

The game was simple, one person would sit on the other’s shoulders and be faced against another pair of people. The team to first knock down the opposing pair would win.

“I’ll hold you,” Ethan offered, crouching down.

You didn’t protest, since he was way stronger than you.

Ethan bent down, his sun kissed skin warm against your hands. Now you just had to…wrap your legs around his head.

“Um-okay-I’ll- just-” you gulped nervously.

Ethan’s satisfied smile flashed in the sun, but a small boost was all it took to get you up. You rested comfortably on his shoulders, reassured by his hands firmly securing you.

He gave your legs a small squeeze and blinked up at you, one eye closed from the sun, “Everything good up there?”

You gave him a little nod, “Ready.”

The countdown began.

Three.

“Hey (Y/N),” Ethan muttered, barely audibly.

Two.

“Yeah?”

One.

“Will you come on a date with me?”

Go.

The other pair charged at you, and in the confusion you threw out your arms and gave the girl on the other boy’s shoulder a rough push. The boy supporting her wobbled dangerously before shoving Ethan, who hardly blinked at his weak attack. The blue sea and sky whirred around you in the dizzy confusion, so you didn’t remember much from there. The girl shoved you, you shoved harder. The boy shoved Ethan, Ethan shoved harder. The girl gave out a high pitched yelp as you grabbed her arms and peeled her right off the boy’s shoulders. The crash of waves erupted as two bodies hit the water.

“We did it!” Ethan chortled, his big hazel eyes crinkling as he met your gaze.

“Yes,” you whispered suddenly, in answer to his question.

Ethan tilted his head to the left in wonder, looking you over mischievously before throwing you into the water.

You crashed into the waves, the salt water refreshing as it greeted your skin. You bounced up above the waves, rubbing the water out of your eyes, your vision blurry.

“I can’t see-” you said, wiping your face.

Someone approached you, their two arms sliding gently around your waist and pulling you into their rippled chest. They smelt like the fresh ocean, their dark hair tousled, a big smile visible even through your blurry vision.

You blinked once more, “Ethan.”

Ethan smiled and pushed your wet hair affectionately from your eyes. He squeezed your hips lightly, “Yes? You’ll go on a date wi-”

“Yes,” you laughed out before he could finish.

He smiled with more joy than you had ever seen him muster before.

The last rays of sun sent pink and orange flares across his skin, the cold water lapping around your sides, the noise of the crowd drowned out. Two of Ethan’s fingers crawled under your chin, lifting your face up. He bent down against you, his head tilting, his full lips inviting you in.

“I think I’m going to leave,” somebody said, snapping you from your trance.

“Gray,” you said, blinking out of your daze.

He coughed and gave you a nod, but his eyes were only on Ethan.

“Bye,” he stated softly, before abruptly turning to leave.

“N-” wait,” you called, detaching yourself from Ethan and struggling against the waves as you tried to keep up with Grayson. He pulled ahead of you, ignoring your calls to him. Once you reached the sand, you sped up, your toes sinking in the sand as you made a grab for Grayson’s wrist.

“Grayson,” you panted, “stop.”

“You know, it’s really weird, because I just started feeling really sick to my stomach all of a sudden,” he growled at Ethan, who came in close behind you.

You turned to Ethan, a brow raised.

“Alright, you guys are keeping something from me, so, own up,” you commanded, sick of the charade.

“Grayson,” you said sternly to get his attention.

He looked down on you, his chestnut eyes softening, “It’s complicated.”

“Try me.”

Ethan grabbed your arm and pushed in front of you, holding you close behind his back.

“Actually we’re fine, so maybe you should leave,” he challenged under his breath.

“Ethan,” you hissed, shocked by his hostility. “You know what, if you guys are going to act like children around each other than it’s impossible for me to be with you both at once.”

“Fair enough,” Ethan snarled, “bye bye, Grayson.”

You dug your nails into Ethan’s skin, causing him to finally face you.

“Grayson has done nothing wrong, so drop it,” you warned.

Ethan’s nostrils flared, his eyes flicking up to his brother and back to you. “Fine, you have half an hour,” he said.

And then he was gone.

“Sorry,” Gray sighed a moment later.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.”

You knew better than to pressure someone into information that was private to them, so you left it at that. The navy sky blinked alive with stars, the wind rolling over your damp skin.

“Let’s go to the bonfire before I freeze to death,” you chattered.

You plopped down on a patch of sand in front of the fire, turning your palms near the light of the flames. Goosebumps sprang to life on your skin, a chill settling over you.

“Here,” Grayson said, pulling a purple hoodie from his bag.

“Thank you,” you said gratefully, sliding the woolen fabric over your head. The sleeves dangled past your hands, the hoodie reaching your legs, you felt like you’d been stuffed into an oversized blanket. You brought your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around your legs, breathing in the whiffs of Grayson’s cologne.

“Better?” he asked with concern,

“Much,” you smiled and rested your head against his shoulder.

Grayson slinked an arm around you, pulling you into his bare chest while he used his free hand to grab the bag of marshmallows propped up on the sand. Only a few minutes passed, but in that time you’d quickly dozed off in his arms. You listened to the sounds of the crackling fire, excited when you smelt-

“Marshmallows,” you said, sitting up at once.

“Seriously? That’s what wakes you up?” Gray laughed at you.

“Are you gonna laugh at me or give me food?” you challenged.

“Here,” G said, handing you a burnt and gooey marshmallow on a stick.

“Thanks,” you smiled and ate it in one bite, the warmth and taste making you feel at ease.

“Missed some,” Grayson smiled down at you, quickly using his thumb to sweep at the corner of your mouth.

“Sorry,” you blushed, licking your lips over.

Gray stuck his finger in his mouth to get the marshmallow off.

“Oh, no, Grayson,” you stuck your tongue out, “ew.”

He only smirked and shrugged in response.

Grayson’s eyes flickered over your face for a second, “We have a few minutes left, walk with me?”

“Sure,” you smiled and jumped up.

Grayson and you headed down the beach until the noise of the bonfire chatter was lost to the night. His hand dangled by his side, your hand by yours, but he didn’t take it, he only let his knuckles brush lightly against yours. You felt snug in his big hoodie, safe from the cold.

“I heard what Ethan asked you today,” Grayson said out of nowhere.

“Oh,” you coughed, “Did you also catch my answer?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

This was awkward,

“Looks like my bro finally asked you.”

“Finally?”

“Did you not know he’d been in love with you for months?”

You shook your head, your cheeks warming.

Grayson stopped walking and turned to face you, pain written across his face.

“But I’ve been in love with you longer.”

Everything stopped. Your feet. Your heart. Your breathing.

“I know it makes me a horrible person for telling you the way I feel, but I can’t lie to you anymore. And I’m not guilty for wanting what I want, because if I’m going to be guilty about anything, it’s this.”

Suddenly you were in his arms, his hand cupping your face, his lips brushing like a whisper against yours. He kissed you softly, gently, with adoration, and for a second, you kissed him back. And then he was gone, and the silence was shattered.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING,” Ethan screamed as he shoved Grayson off you.

You stood in shock, coming back to your senses.

Grayson gave his brother a shove back, “what I should’ve done a long time ago.”

Ethan’s jaw clenched, his eyes dark as he threw a punch a Grayson, who merely dodged his fist.

“I love her.”

“I loved her first.”

You couldn’t move.

Ethan grabbed his brother’s arm and pulled forward, both boy’s chest’s heaving as they glared each other down.

“You knew I was going to ask her today, so your idea was to steal her away and do it first?” Ethan snarled.

Grayson didn’t respond.

“Admit it,” Ethan hissed.

Grayson stood his ground.

“But that wasn’t enough for you, was it? So you had to kiss her,” Ethan breathed with rage.

“SHUT UP,” Grayson burst out, pushing his brother.

And in that second where there was a space between them, you jumped in the middle of the two boys.

“STOP IT,” you screamed, your eyes watering.

Ethan and Grayson ignored you, advancing on each other. You stuck your hands out, sandwiched between them as you forced them apart.

“Look what you’re doing to each other,” you sobbed, glancing from one boy to the other.

And with that you collapsed onto the ground and started crying.

There was a second of absolute stillness, and then you felt two sets of hands on your shoulders. They held you lightly before guiding you back to your feet. You wiped your eyes and took in a deep breath as you faced Ethan and Grayson. Ethan gulped nervously, his eyes sad as he swiped away a tear from your cheek. He bent over you, dropping a single fleeting kiss to your forehead.

“It’s not going to have be like this, is it?” you whispered, your voice cracking.

Ethan shook his head, meeting Grayson’s eyes and giving him a nod of understandment.

“I’m so sorry baby, but I can’t do this anymore,” he mumbled, his eyes brimming with tears, “not like this.”

He ran his palm gently down your cheek before dropping it down to his side and taking a step back. The moon set a white light over both boys, their bodies still as stone, their eyes glowing. The silence rang in your ears, the silhouette of two perfect brothers casting shadows on the ground.

“You have to chose.”