ALL I SEE AND FEEL IS PAIN

anonymous asked:

It's interesting that when Lucas is explaining the jellybean weighing to Riley he says, he figured out what he "needed" to do. Not what he wanted but needed. I fully believe Lucas is in this for real. But the dialogue is the writers telling us, this is not the for real they think it is. He's so caught up in what the RIGHT (caps important) thing to do is, he can't see what he really might want. It's like painful to watch. When did the writers say we'd feel bad for him?Because this is just awful.

All of this. I guess we’ll feel bad for him when it all goes wrong. 

Tokyo Ghoul:re - Chapter 86

Well.. I’m so fuckin’ confused and surprised because of the feels in this chapter.

First, I want to excuse me with Arima’s fans because, when I started read the manga and Arima appeared, he doesn’t like me because he was so cold and he doesn’t care to kill ghoul without thinks they’re persons too, and he was a cold and insensible heart. Really, I’m so sorry.

Second, I want to explain my feels for Arima. Last chapters mades me realize that Arima wasn’t what he seems. I realized that he was inmersed in a complet pain and anguish for all his life. Since he was a child, he felt like he isn’t a normal person, because he and others childrend was in a garden childhood because they were a half-ghouls, and his fate was fixed. In an images we can see a young Arima cought a butterfly and then, he let her go. He have spent all his life looking for someone or something to leave go and finally, he found it: Kaneki Ken. He only want find someone to kill him, because he was the unhappiest person in the world and he knew what he does was bad but he thought that he only lived to kill and kill all ghouls until he dies. He only want to die in peace and, like Kaneki doesn’t want killed him, he killed himself. Arima was to Kaneki his teacher and his father.

Third, I really loves how Ishida shows us the side humanity of White Reaper: a person with a lot of pain in his inside. Finally, he was looking for someone who could establish a middle point between humans and ghouls, because he thinks the same as Eto: World sucks. He was the way to arrive to the throne and Kaneki’s the King, now because of him and Eto.

He only wants a better world. So, to me, Arima is one of heroes that there’re in this beautiful story.

I love Arima and now (and, then, when Ishida shows flashbacks with he and Eto) I’m sure that I finished to understand him.

You were a good teacher and father. Rest in peace, Kishou Arima. Goodbye.

2

I try to imagine my life without her, and all I see is pain …and heartbreak. But a least I’ll be the only one feeling it.

You know what makes me sad about the latest chapter? Remembering that they’re still children. 

Mikasa is 15 and she’s raging because one of the two people she loves most in the world is dying, and she’s been surrounded by death all her life. Reiner and Bertholdt are just as young and they’re being treated like pieces of meat, as if they weren’t human beings to begin with. All Eren knows is pain and loss and titans and blurry memories, and he just wants some answers, you know? Jean can’t help questioning everything because he doesn’t understand what they’re fighting for, and how can it be good if it’s tainted with so much blood and treason. Connie and Sasha try keep laughing but now she’s fatally injured and he feels alone and lost and unsure of what to do. And Armin, he just wanted to see the ocean, for fuck’s sake. 

Sometimes I wonder why I keep forgetting this, and it’s probably because they’re not allowed to be children. They had to grow up so fast that maybe they forgot about it too. And it’s awful.  

People really have no fucking clue unless they’re black the ripple effect of trauma that results from generations of deep rooted anti-black violence.

I lost my brother 4 years ago to senseless gun violence so when I see young black men being gunned down and forgotten I see my brother’s face. When I see these black mothers wail and scream in pain on national television trying to understand why this world hates their children I see my mother’s face.

My heart aches thinking about all the families that are just having to start their journey of grief and are forced to not only endure the weight of grief but be bombarded with graphic images of their loved ones being slaughtered like animals.

It’s hard to type because I see these stories and realize they probably will not stop any time soon. I feel heavy reading these stories and all I can do is cry, pray and hope that one day we all can reach a day where blackness is not viewed as inherently inferior.

So I was just scrolling through Sarah’s website like always and suddenly just saw this. All of the books next to eachother. And I just… I just got overwhelmingly sad and nostalgic. Seeing them all next to eachother and just seeing Aelin’s journey and knowing how far she’s come and has to go but two more books and we won’t be able to watch her grow anymore. This series. This series means so much to me and knowing it’s so close to the end makes me feel that pain. You know that pain I’m talking about- the one you get deep in your chest and it literally feels like your heart is filling with stones. The worst feeling. I feel like I will never find such a meaningful and fulfilling read as this series. Like when reading, I will never experience the pure emotions nor walk the same life-changing journeys that these books have provided, ever again. I don’t even know what this post is. I just got this feeling like a punch to my heart when I saw this. And I’m terrible at putting my feelings into words so if anyone wants to add anything about this series- because I’m sure you’ll all be much better at expressing yourselves than me, feel free. I’m sure we all really need some fandom love right now!

Originally posted by your-obsessive-mungbean

Before I knew you, I didn’t know it was possible to be so in love with someone that you couldn’t help but feel their absence like a phantom pain. I didn’t know it was possible for a person to be a total stranger for one minute, and then become the person you couldn’t stand not to see in the next. I didn’t know it was possible to crave a touch you’ve never felt, to long for the warmth of someone you’ve never been with before, to ache for a love you haven’t even known of your whole life. 

Before I knew you, all I knew was that people fell in love. I didn’t know it was possible to drown in love.

—  I’m drowning in thoughts of you and I can’t breathe
I will miss our late night talks, the late night laughter and simply spending the night til morning listening to your voice until you fall asleep. I will miss it once I decide to finally threw everything away because I could no longer see you the way you wanted me to - a friend. I wanted to tell you all my feelings, my doubts, my fears, my everything starting from the moment I have come to realize that I am starting to like you more than just a friend. I tried my best to remove you from my system, to treat you the same way I treat others, I tried to talk to others because I thought that would change everything, I tried but I only felt pain because it seems that I was not being true to myself. Still, I know it wouldn’t compare to the pain I will feel once I choose to say goodbye. You don’t know how much I wanted to be with you, to be the one who makes you happy, be the one who gives you the love you deserve, be the one who will make you feel that you are the risk worth taking for. It’s probably stupid and cliché for me to say that I’d rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all. But I know that I will be lying to myself because I know deep in my heart that the real feelings I have for you will always remain. But right now, I’m willing to look past those feelings, to hide it just a little longer because I simply want to be with you - even if I’m only just a friend.

what she says: I’m fine

what she means: Charles can not only read minds, but he can feel the person whose mind he is reading’s pain. Therefore he can feel Erik’s pain. Can you imagine how horrible it
must be to see his best friend suffering like that constantly? From childhood on - all the pain and rage that Erik has ever felt and festers inside of him constantly, Charles knows and can actually feel, and knows that that is happening inside the person who he loves. Yes, it is horrible that Erik has gone through so much, but it must be torture to Charles to know that he has felt this and there’s nothing he can do to change it. Charles’ power is a true burden wtf

@tarashima is fired for not talking me out of drawing Yuugi in a hat. This was a terrible idea. Everyone needs to feel my pain, so I’m challenging you all to draw YuugiinHat lol

lol you don’t really have to. Unless you wanna. In all seriousness, I needed something cute to help improve my mood. What’s more cute than Yuugi? Nothing. Lol

Things that need to happen in ACOTAR3

1. Lucien will find out Feyre is faking it for Tamlin.  I think he’ll come to his senses and help her, while Feyre tells him all about Elain in exchange

2. Nesta and Cassian will develop less “hateful” feelings for each other

3. Rhysand will miss Feyre terribly, but they will find a way to see each other at Calanmai and narrowly miss Tamlin seeing them

4. Those bitch human queens will die a most painful death

5. Thus, the King of Hybern will suffer an even more painful demise

6. Amren is a dragon from Erilea :O (hence a potential meeting between our faves here and our peeps in ToG?)

7. Lucien and Elain will rule the Spring court

8. Tamlin will have his ass handed to him

9. Tamlin will have his ass handed to him

10. Tamlin will have his ass handed to him

Anyways I just felt like dying because yet again, Orihime is crying for Ichigo’s sake. She’s not upset because she’s hurt, but because she understands Ichigo’s feelings and (at that moment in time) is unable to help him keep fighting. She is so, so sensitive to his emotions that it physically hurts her to see him hurt. His pain, frustration, his sadness, his grief… she always takes it all on her own shoulders and cries on his behalf. 

I’m so happy Ichigo has someone who is so intuitive to his emotions and his feelings and experiences that loves him so wholeheartedly and deeply. 

These are good kids they deserve to be happy together and I know they absolutely will be.

Sol 6

Chris Beck x Reader

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11

Summary: You’re part of the Ares III crew, on sol 6 you’re left behind on Mars with Mark. How will the both of you survive and will Beck ever realise your feelings for him.

Tagged: @thedark-sideofthedark,  @blueblobb, @breathingstops, @all-fandom-feels, @timelordsandgalaxydefenders, @kriscassothegalaxyking, @aj-callaghan, @marzipan-romanoff, @sebbysweaters, @wydari, @i-less-than-three-you, @smol-flower-kiddo, @marvelandgameofthrones

Originally posted by barnesjames

There was a pain in your chest and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, the pain forced you away from the darkness and you peeled open your eyes slowly to see where you were. Above you you could see the stars then red then stars again. As you regained your senses you realised it was the MAV spinning around, the motion made you feel sick and dizzy.

“Oh great I’ll wave at you guys as I go by,” you heard a voice say, Mark’s you realised. It sounded like you were under water but very slowly you regained your hearing too.

“Mark?”

“Y/N?” Mark tried to turn his head to look at you.

“Y/N do you copy?” this time it was Lewis.

“Yes, I copy,” you said, your voice hoarse. “What’s this about us waving?” you asked.

“The Hermes is too far from the MAV to catch you,” you heard Beck.

“Beck?” you breathed, your emotions began to overwhelm you. It had been over a year and a half since you had heard his voice and it still made your spine shiver, it reminded you of sol 6 when you had been collecting samples.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

You bit your lip to stop from crying and closed your eyes for a moment with a small smile. Your eyes snapped open, “Wait, how far off?”

“68 kilometers.”

“Holy shit,” you breathed, so maybe this wasn’t a happy ever after after all.

“Commander Lewis,” Mark piped up, “We could find something sharp in here to puncture a hole in our suits and use the escaping air as a propulsion up to the Hermes.”

While that thought terrified you, you knew it would be better than watching the Hermes fly by. “I’m up for that,” you agreed.

“No,” Lewis shot down the idea, “You would have virtually no control over where you go and you would be eye balling it while travelling at high speed. I’m not taking that risk.”

You huffed a little as you tried to think of a way to have a small intercept range and velocity, unfortunately you had never really been good at science except for studying rocks because that didn’t really involve as much maths as chemistry and other ‘real sciences’.

That was when Lewis came up with the plan to blow up the Hermes. Well, part of the Hermes, and use that as a way to decelerate. “Are you guys blowing stuff up without me?” Mark asked and a moment later you saw him floating above you.

“Mark, what are you doing. Put your belt back on,” you scolded him, gripping more tightly at your own belt to make sure it was secure.

Mark continued on as if he hadn’t heard you, “You guys I don’t know, we’re pretty selfish. We want all the memorials to be about us, just us.”

“Yeah, we’re cooler than you guys anyway,” you agreed with Mark, you didn’t want the entire crew to blow themselves up just to try and save the two of you. They were more important, Martinez and Vogel had kids and wives, Lewis was married, Beck and Johanssen had glowing futures ahead of them. You and Mark didn’t have anyone of particular importance back home and it was better just the two of you than the whole team.

Still, Lewis didn’t listen. You listened to the crew intently as they worked out how to build a bomb, and Beck would be jumping around in space outside the Hermes. This, of course, terrified you. If Beck wasn’t inside the Hermes then anything could happen, if he accidently let go he would just float away and no one would be able to help.

“Beck I swear to God, if you let go of the Hermes I’m going to kill you,” you said sternly through the comms.

You heard Beck chuckle, “Noted.”

“I mean it,” you said quietly, “Be careful.” It didn’t ease the worry in your gut that something would go wrong so you decided to focus on the voices of the rest of the crew whilst they made a bomb to set off in one of the airlocks.

Their plan worked and the intercept velocity was reduced, whilst they had been making the bomb Martinez had accelerated the Hermes to close the intercept range. Unfortunately, you and Mark would still be 32 meters too far.

It was time to go out and get you, Beck was strapped into the chair and connected to the tether. “Visual on the MAV,” he reported. It was the moment of truth, he pushed off from the Hermes and floated out to you.

He used to controls to steer in the direction of you when suddenly he was jolted as the tether reached it’s maximum length. He tried to go further but couldn’t, “They’re still too far,” his voice wavered.

You gulped when you heard that, you unbuckled your belt and floated up to the gap in the ship next to Mark, you gripped the MAV tightly so that you wouldn’t float off. You could see Beck not that far from you.

“I’m gonna cut the tether,” Beck said determined.

“No,” you countered quickly, “We’ll come to you.” You swallowed your fear down and faced Mark, “Let’s be Iron Man.”

Mark locked eyes with you for a second then nodded, he got a pair of pliers ready to puncture his suit. “We’ll use the force from each other to try and stay straight,” he said.

You nodded, “Let’s do this.” Mark pierced his suit first and flew back at the sudden release in atmosphere, he had let go of the pliers which were now floating next to you. With a deep breath you punctured your own suit, sending you flying back and crashing into Mark.

With a little bit of difficulty you managed to press your fingers down over your palm to seal the breach. You and Mark pushed up to the top of the MAV and gripped tightly to each other, you looked at each other once more then released your fingers.

Quicker than you had thought you and Mark flew through space, admittedly it was a lot harder to control than you thought but you soon got the hang of it. When Mark released his fingers so did you to counteract the pressure, in doing so you were able to go in the right direction but you were still all over the place.

You were close now, Beck was only a few meters away. You both reached out a hand, they just barely touched then you were flying past him. Luckily Mark was able to grab a hold of the red tether, not so luckily- you didn’t.

You kept going and you panicked, flailing around a little. For once your complete incoordination worked in your favour. You had accidently released your fingers from the seal which pushed you towards them and the tether tangled around your leg.

Letting out a small grunt as the tether tightened uncomfortably around your leg you curled up on yourself to grab a hold of it with your hands. With your hand securely around the tether you wrapped it around your arms and held on tighter than you ever had in your life.

At the end of the rope Mark and Chris had begun spinning and tangling in rope, they were headed straight towards you. As they spun closer and closer you braced yourself, with one more spin Chris in the chair crashed into and winded you.

Beck reached out an arm and gripped you tightly and pulled you close to him. A few moments later Mark was close enough for him to grab as well. “Hey handsome,” Mark laughed when he saw Beck and their helmets clunked together.

Seeing Chris again after a solid year and a half was indescribable, your heart soared and all those feeling you had came back and hit you full force. Vogel was reeling you back in and the rest of the team were on the other side of the airlock waiting for you.

You were back on the Hermes, this was real and you weren’t going to die on Mars. Your ribs killed and so did everything else in your body but you were too happy to care right now. The airlock door closed and everyone came rushing in to see you. You and Mark took off your helmets, sure you smelled bad but nobody could care at that moment.

In the commotion of hugs and tears you didn’t even really get to see Beck, he was there but he hung back. Thing was, during the rescue Beck had come to the realisation that he never wanted any harm to come to you, that he couldn’t live without you. When he had missed you it was the most scared he had ever been, it was out there that he realised that he loved you as more than just his best friend. Now he was terrified that you wouldn’t return his feelings.

Though he had to see you eventually, he was the flight surgeon and he needed to do medical checks on you and Mark fairly soon to see just how bad the damage was. Eventually the team backed off and he was able to intervene, he told you and Mark to go limp so he could pull you through to the med bay.

Beck was being distant which sparked an unpleasant feeling within you, had he realised over the past year and a half that he didn’t like you all that much? Did he somehow figure out that you had a crush on him and was now being distant because he didn’t know how to let you down easy?

You lay down on the med bay, the one that you usually sat on whilst you were waiting for Beck to go to dinner. Mark was on the other side of the room and he was being examined first, Chris bandaged his ribs and documented how malnourished he was. You didn’t really pay attention to it, you faced the side and looked out the window as you passed round Mars and watched it slowly disappear further out of sight.

Mark went out for a shower and Chris came over to you, “Hey Beckster,” you smiled up at him weakly.

Beck smiled down at you, “I told you not to call me that,” he laughed.

“Stop being so bossy,” you retorted, he helped you sit up and you winced as it jostled your broken ribs.

You had to take off your space suit, Chris helped you strip down to just your underwear. It wasn’t as if you were embarrassed at being half naked in front of him, he had done medical inspections on you before, what embarrassed you was the sight of your body so withered and dirty. Your ribs stuck out prominently and you could see bruising all over where your ribs and collarbone had cracked.

Chris carefully wrapped your chest up and checked out the old wound on your leg, he gave you a few pills to swallow which you did before he could even give you water. You flicked your eyes up to meet his blue ones staring intently at you.

Then something happened that you never expected to. Beck surged forward and planted a kiss on your lips, your eyes went wide and for a moment you didn’t even process what was going on, then you kissed him back.

Beck pulled back after a moment, “Sorry,” he mumbled, looking at the ground.

“What for?” you asked boldly, “For leaving me on Mars or kissing me?”

He stumbled over his words a little, “Both,” he settled on.

You shook your head a little, “Don’t be,” you whispered and pulled him back to you to kiss him. You felt him smile against your lips, he stepped forward and wound his arms delicately around your waist and you raised your arms to tangle your fingers in his hair.

After a minute you pulled back for air and you rested your foreheads against each other. “Took you long enough,” you breathed, “I’ve wanted you to do that for years.” Beck laughed softly and kissed you again.

***

A/N- Thanks to everyone who sent me get well messages I love you all loads, so here we are. All 12 parts are finally done, do you guys want an epilogue or anything? Let me know! Requests are open <3

Sometimes when I see Seokmin not smiling, I feel like we need to protect this child from all the bad things and do our best to make him smile again.

“The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.”

i hope that’s not the case…

His Hugs...

After seeing all these photos of Jack hugging “fans” I have come to the conclusion that he’s probably the best person to hug a funeral. 

He would be the one that didn’t feel like a half-assed “awkward” hug while you cry, he would be the one that could help ease some of the pain. 

He would hug you and mean it.

I just wish I had that when my grandmother passed, 8 years later and I still need it.

He would be the hug that could lighten up your heavy heart, take your heart off your sleeve and put it back in your chest and he would be the kind of hug to remind you of who you were before it all fell apart.

And I appreciate that.

durbinfan13  asked:

I don't know why but I feel like after Kagome went back to Inuyasha after the 3 years that a small part of me wanted him to do a little groveling and be more attentive to her. I mean I don't think he really understood how much Kagome hurt when he would see Kikyo. I mean he knew but I don't think he really understood, plus she did give up her life in the present to be with him. I don't know I guess rewatching the show and still feel sore for all the pain Kagome felt. Is that wrong?

Well I feel like he will be a lot more attentive and gentle with her after she comes back, especially if the well is closed forever (there’s no clear answer to this, so it’s a possibility but not a certainty). It was shown multiple times in the series that Inuyasha blames himself easily and feels guilty even though he shouldn’t (a perfect example is when he said “I mustn’t laugh and enjoy myself. Kikyo… Kikyo followed me in death.”). Also, Inuyasha promised to protect Kagome and that probably means both physically and emotionally. 

So if Kagome really did left everything behind to be with him, I’m sure Inuyasha will understand her sacrifice. I can imagine Kagome going back to the well once in a while, when she thinks Inuyasha is busy and won’t see her, but he still catches her. I can imagine he would walk up to her and apologize or ask her if she regrets. Knowing Kagome, she would probably reassure him and tell him that it she wouldn’t be happier if she was in a world without him, and that the feudal era is her home now. 

To answer the other part of your question, Inuyasha really did start to understand Kagome’s feelings after Kikyo died and after he sorted out his own feelings first.

I think this scene speaks for itself: 

After everything Inuyasha and Kagome went through, they’re a lot more mature and they know that this situation is a lot bigger than just a petty love triangle. Kagome’s feelings are hurt, but she understands that Inuyasha’s pain must be a thousand times worse. And Inuyasha realizes that he must have been selfish at times and forget that even though his pain is immense, that doesn’t make Kagome’s feelings less important.

EDIT: There’s also another very important scene, which shows that he did think about it during the 3 years that Kagome was gone:

“When we speak of man, we have a conception of humanity as a whole, and before applying scientific methods to the investigation of his movement, we must accept this as a physical fact. But can anyone doubt to-day that all the millions of individuals and all the innumerable types and characters constitute an entity, a unit? Though free to think and act, we are held together, like the stars in the firmament, with ties inseparable. These ties cannot be seen, but we can feel them. I cut myself in the finger, and it pains me: this finger is a part of me. I see a friend hurt, and it hurts me, too: my friend and I are one. And now I see stricken down an enemy, a lump of matter which, of all the lumps of matter in the universe, I care least for, and it still grieves me. Does this not prove that each of us is only part of a whole?”

Nikola Tesla ~

anonymous asked:

i love seeing u posting lance or about lance bc u love him so much and i also! love him so much, and i just want the danger noodle 2 be so happy and i feel like u do too and i love it

It’s because he is literally my son and I only give a shit about him and no one else…ah, well besides space uncle. I do want to see him happy but I also reALLY want to see him broken, bruised, and bloodied. Also I kind of want all of his friends to like turn their backs on him and see him break down crying. I want to see him suffer and I want to see the rest of team voltron’s faces after seeing how much pain he’s endured. :)

7 confessions.

1. If you told me 4 months ago I would end up losing my three best friends I probably wouldn’t believe you although there would be that doubt in my mind screaming “MAYBE YOU WILL” from the deep corners of my worries and fears.

2. The bruises you gave me two years ago are no longer physically present yet I still feel the pain and sometimes I swear they’re still there because it hurts so much and it all hits me at 3 PM when I’m walking down a lonely road and I see something that reminds me of you. It still hits me all at once and I’m not ok for the next month.

3. I lay awake in bed till 3, 4, or even 5 AM thinking of “what ifs” or “how abouts” until my head is pounding and the room is spinning because it’s a possibility my life could have been so much better if I had kept my mouth shut or spoke more often and it’s reopening old wounds with old memories thinking maybe the way it ended could have been better.

4. People ask me what my biggest fear is and I tell them the ocean but in all honesty my biggest fear is fear itself because I do stupid things when I’m scared to get rid of that stupid cloud that hangs over my head that has me looking over my shoulder and chewing on my nails and I’ll down a bottle of whiskey to myself just to get rid of the darkness and I swear in that moment it won’t even burn.

5. Sometimes, and only sometimes I will remember, and it will hurt, It will lay heavy on my chest like a burden. It will hit me hard and knock the wind out of me. It will weigh down on my shoulders and not for the next hour or the next day but for the next week. I will remember and it will haunt me and the only way I know how to cope is to drown out the voices with poisons.

6. I miss it. I miss the warm bubbly feeling that spreads across my chest and down into my stomach after the first shot. I miss the comfort of knowing that for One whole night I will be able to forget. To forget everything, good or bad. To the point of forgetting your name and mine. I will forget what you did to me and what I did to myself. I will forget fights with my parents and fights with my friends. I will forget the friends I lost and the ones I’ve gained that don’t compare. I will forget what I need do.

7. I miss myself.

—  7 confessions at 2:18 AM