AKA

how the signs will die
  • aries: explosions
  • taurus: stabbed
  • gemini: only like half dies tbh
  • cancer: lava.
  • leo: clowns
  • virgo: vampirism
  • libra: dying like 2 hours after stabbing yourself somehow? you like manage to write down a lot of shit and then finally die like wow nice job
  • scorpio: a very mad robot/a very mad sister take your pick
  • sagittarius: also clowns
  • capricorn: ?????? do you even die ????????
  • aquarius: cut in half
  • pisces: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

«This seems like a good time for a drink
and a cold, calculated speech with sinister overtones.

A speech about politics…

About order…

Brotherhood…

Power.

But speeches are for campaigning.
Now is the time for Action.»

Playing FFXV
  • STARTING THE GAME:
  • Noctis: Generic snarky grumpy RPG protagonist
  • Gladiolus: Tall, dark, handsome, knows how to swing a sword, clearly has more common sense than the rest of the group - I like you!
  • Ignis: Generic The Smart One(tm)
  • Prompto: Obviously the pop-culture-reference-making comedy relief, meh.
  • AFTER A FEW HOURS OF PLAY:
  • Noctis: Omg you're a Disney princess, aren't you.
  • Gladio: Dude. Chill.
  • Ignis: Do you do anything other than cook and drive?
  • Prompto: You are a giant fucking dork. An adorable dork, but a giant fucking dork.
  • Aranea: Asshole #1, you are a fucking PAIN to fight.
  • Ravus: Asshole #2, generic Squenix White-Haired Pretty Boy(tm).
  • Ardyn: Asshole #3, you're creepy and weird but helpful enough that I'm not gonna discount you yet.
  • WHEN THE PLOT KICKS IN:
  • Noct: You are DEFINITELY a Disney princess, also you desperately need a hug.
  • Gladio: DUDE. CHILL.
  • Iggy: Like hell I'm leaving you behind!
  • Prompto: IF ANYONE LAYS A FINGER ON YOU I WILL FEED THEM THEIR OWN INTESTINES
  • Aranea: Never mind, you're actually pretty cool.
  • Ravus: Man, I really hope you get some DLC.
  • Ardyn: I WILL FUCKING FEED YOU YOUR OWN INTESTINES YOU SON OF A BITCH