AFJKASD;LF

i can’t believe that in the span of the few hours it takes magnus to brew a potion, he: took simon on a quick whirlwind jaunt to agra, gave rousing motivational speeches, dismissed a self-portrait with a critical eye, traipsed through 60+ rooms of his ex’s apartment looting back his stolen goods - recovering a significant indonesian sword knife in the process, opened up about his past, and was reunited with one beloved pet while adopting/sponsoring another

meanwhile, alec:

youtube

everyone should watch this at least once before they die

GM Money vs GM Her Monster
  • Farkle in GM Money: *to insecure to invite his best friends over to his house*
  • Farkle in GM Her Monster: *invites Lucas and Zay to his house to watch the Red Planet Diaries*
  • Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

’ the most popular girls in school ’ sentence starters

i am so pretty.
who the fuck are you ?
i already know how things work around here !
that’s my fucking boyfriend/girlfriend, bitch !
i do not like you.
i feel indifferent towards you.
god, i hate her/him/them so much.
what ? huh ? that’s not true !
god, i wanna fucking murder you.
who the fuck said my handjobs were second-rate ?
i heard you were going around calling me a fucking liar !
fuck you.
shut the fuck up !
hey, more like.. uh, gay !
oh my god, are you going to try and nickname yourself again ?
stop trying to force your full house references on us.
suck my dick.
i’ll suck your dick right now.
dude, that was an expression !
the only thing you’re saying here is that you’re gay.
i’m not gay.. you’re gay !
don’t be a dick, bro.
jesus christ, is that a fucking gremlin ?
i told you to never talk about that ! god !
um, excuse me, i will cut a bitch.
you are totes creep.
why don’t you give me a fucking break, okay ?
what the fuck is that supposed to mean ?
listen, bitch, i don’t know who the fuck you think you are but i don’t give a fuck.
fuck off.
what the fuck is going on ?
you guys are assholes.
i swear to god, if this blows up in your face, you better believe i will take this megaphone and shove it up your ass !
yeah, that’s right ! walk away, like a bitch !
this is some bullshit right here !
you are fucking gross.
yeah ! dumb whore !
i was just trying to put myself into a coma so i wouldn’t have to listen to the two of you dipshits try and talk and breathe at the same time !
i don’t trust the bitch.
thank you for fucking up my entire life !
do you like making me look like a dickhole ? do you ?
the answer to a question i never asked.
so much technical jargon, jeezus louisus !
why are you guys so mean to me ?
you take that back, bitch !