👽The Problem with School👽

I don’t talk about my feelings a lot… or at least I don’t express them very accurately because I simply lack the words to say what I am experiencing. So here is a list of my problems: ADHD, Processing Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, and Depression. This is by no means a way of trying to get people to feel sorry for me, but rather a way to make people feel not so alone, or a way to maybe make me feel not so alone. My anxiety started from a very young age, I remember not wanting to go to school when I was as young as 3 because I just remember thinking that it hurt… My arms would tense up, My stomach hurt, I felt like i was going to throw up, i couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t concentrate on anything, and I didn’t learn as fast as the other kids. As years went on this feeling persisted and intensified, and year after year my teachers would tell me that I wasn’t trying, or I wasn’t applying myself (Whatever that means). I was always told that I wasn’t smart explicitly by both my peers and teachers. Around middle school, it became a fact like the color of my hair or the color of my eyes, “I am stupid”. I stopped trying, I even stopped going to school. School became a bad place for me, a place where people wanted to hurt me, a place where I was different and unaccepted. When I started to go back to school again, I went to a special school where they catered to all learning types where they really knew how to teach me, but even when I would get an A on a test or a report card I would think that I just got lucky and I would doubt myself. I don’t blame my teachers or my classmates for my problems, because the fact is they didn’t understand. They didn’t understand that I learn differently. If you’re a teacher, or a parent, or even just another random person living on earth, just know that so called “learning disabilities,” and I put that in quotes because those of us who have them are very capable of learning, do not make someone stupid, and they should not define someone. Every human being on planet earth learns a different way and no one should be shamed of that. Schools these days are too cookie cutter, and people who can change the world one day fall through the cracks. I just hope this doesn’t happen to anyone else. If you read this Thank you! and hope you do amazing things with your life because no matter what anyone tells you, your dreams no matter how big, are obtainable. 

Listen up, folks.

Ronan Lynch. A dreamer. He has a lot of ADHD symptoms. But not necessarily the ones associated with boys…

What I’m trying to say is that ‘the dreamer’ stereotype is super common for afab folk with ADHD (and also are severely undiagnosed compared to amab folk).

What I’m trying to say is Ronan Lynch. Trans boy with ADHD. A headcanon I might have to explore in greater detail.

You know what else I don’t get about ADHD? We have to go through hell and back and bounce between doctors and psychologists for months to get diagnosed but once you do your doctor just writes you a prescription without any advice and without bothering to tell you that

  • you’re not supposed to eat grapefruit when taking ADHD medication
  •  you can’t eat or drink citrus fruit, soda, Gatorade, and anything carbonated an hour before and after taking your medication 
  • you should monitor your heart rate if you take the decongestant psuedophedrine when you have adderall in your system because it also has the side effect of increased heart rate 
  • you should really avoid caffeine when on adderall (haha I know we’re all hooked on caffeine) but lots of people with add feel like they need to be drinking a “study beverage” like coffee/energy drinks constantly while working. Give your adderall the 1-3 hours it needs to kick in before you do this, drink a placebo beverage like decaf tea instead

I’m not a pharmacist, none of this is medical advice, but as the girl who used to start her day with a whole grapefruit and glass of orange juice… I wish I’d known this. I got more instructions for my strep throat medication then I ever got for adderall.

do any other autistic / adhd / etc people have that problem where you forget what you were going to do so you walk around in circles, (subconsciously) hoping you’ll remember what it was just by looking at things that may trigger your memory? while that’s going on, you’re actually just daydreaming & pretending to care abt it??

it’s like retracing your steps but without effort

why do non-ADHD people find my conversations weird?

like, we’ll be talking about how both my iPod and my sister’s have cracked, and someone’ll mention computers, and then my thought-process will go something like this:

  • computer
  • laptop
  • most people get laptops in high school / college
  • i thought i’d have to buy my own

which usually happens in less than 30 seconds and then i’ll just say the last thought and the usual responses’ll come out:

  • “why did u just change the subject” (semi-rude)
  • “we weren’t talking about that” (rude)
  • “how did you get to that subject” (polite, as it was my mom)

which are all actual responses i have got from people who clearly aren’t ADHD.

whereas once i was arguing with my ADHD friend who plays euphonium about whether flute (my instrument) or euphonium is better and my thoughts went like this:

  • flute is better than euphonium
  • instruments
  • tumblr post about instruments
  • my viewpoint on the other instruments

which i began saying out loud while she was still talking. of course she saw no problem with either what is apparently viewed as “changing the subject” or me talking over her. because she’s ADHD and does the same things, even though, unlike me, she isn’t both hyperactive and inattentive and is just hyperactive.

tl;dr if you’re talking with an ADHD kid and they “change the subject,” instead of being rude, ask them how they got there politely, because that’s probably going to be interesting.

People who assume self-dx’ers are kids trying to be “cool” are wrong.

My mom can’t sit and do nothing, she’s always gotta be stimulated by some activity even if it’s a jigsaw puzzle or reading. She usually has games going on her iPad while the TV is blasting.

Even while recovering from surgery in 2012, she had to have things to entertain her like crocheting, having her bed by the window so she could look outside and access to the hospital TV set in her room.

Sitting and waiting with nothing to do makes her extremely irritable. My mom is not normally a grumpy person, but when she has to wait longer than expected you’ll swear the look on her face will melt bricks.

A commercial on TV prompted her into weeks of Google searches that helped my mom figure out why she is the way she is. 

She discovered she drinks coffee so much (literally morning to night) because the stimulant action of caffeine helps her focus. She’s been calming herself down with coffee since she was 8. It started when her mom put coffee in her milk and school got easier in the morning and hard in the afternoon until she came home and drank more milk-coffee before doing her homework.

Today, my mom walked into my room with her iPad in hand and a look of triumph on her face as she said, “I have ADHD.”

My mom just self-diagnosed herself with ADHD. 

She’ll be 71 years old in September of 2016.

Living with ADHD is sometimes gives me pleasant surprises like “oh look I already got a spoon for my coffee apparently”.

ADHD and Boredom

Feeling bored usually happens when nothing in your environment captures your interest or attention. Boredom might start with your mind, but it can quickly affect your body and emotions too. For example, you might feel restless or fatigued and your mood can plummet.

Boredom is one of the things people with ADHD fear the most and will go to great lengths to avoid it. How many of these have you done?

  1. Hang up the phone if you are put on hold; even if you were in the middle are resolving an important issue.
  2. Eat something, even though you aren’t hungry.
  3. Phone a person you don’t like that much, just to have someone to talk to.
  4. Delay going to bed until you are completely exhausted to avoid the boredom of lying in bed waiting to fall asleep.
  5. Create an argument; with a service provider, or someone you love.
  6. Act in a potentially dangerous way. For example: overtake a slow driver even if it’s not completely safe because driving behind them is boring.

The opposite of bored is interested, energized and cheerful. Adults with ADHD are always looking for things that are new or stimulating because when they are interested in something, the executive functions of the brain click into gear and the brain works well.

When a task is dull or mundane, not only is it very hard to mentally stay engaged, there are other negative consequences too. For example, daytime sleepiness - where you fall asleep in the middle of an activity; even if you got plenty of sleep the night before.

Some people experience depression if their environment isn’t stimulating.


How to Avoid Boredom


Get to know yourself and your favourite ways to avoid boredom

Here are some common boredom busters: Trying the new and different, spending time with people, doing adrenaline activities, taking risks, problem-solving, adding movement, being ‘hands on’, etc.

When you know your favourite ways, design your life around those things, so each day is interesting for you. This includes your job and how you approach the tasks in your job description, your hobbies, and as well as how you do the mundane tasks of life; such as housework.

Be prepared

Life is full of delays, so have a variety of activities on hand. For example, if you are flying, take a magazine which is visual, a book that you can get engrossed in, as well as a puzzle book. Don’t leave things to chance and hope there will be a good movie to watch or that you will be sitting next to someone entertaining.

Use a timer

Using a timer can make even the dullest things interesting, as it creates a sense of urgency and excitement. Play games with yourself. For example, see if you can do all the washing up in 15 minutes.

Balance

It is good to have self-awareness that you don’t like feeling bored and so you can do what is in your power to avoid it. However, don’t become too fearful of being bored that you will do anything to avoid it.

This is how accidents happen. If you are bored, it is empowering to know you can sit with it for a few moments. Meditation and exercise are 2 daily habits that help you to endure unexpected boring parts of your day.

AD(H)D blogs masterpost?

I think that the AD(H)D blog community would Benefit from one…anyway here is a start feel free to add some blogs by rebloging and mentioning them, anyway I will start: (if I need to edit this at all please let me know)

@adhd-community
@adhd-is
@adhdcharacteroftheday
@adhdstudying
@adhdfeels
@adhd-me
@adhd-buccellati
@adhd–art
@adhd-anxious
@adhd-anxiety
@adhd-for-real
@adhd-informative
@adhd-letstalkaboutit
@adhd-problems